1st Half... Duo's Dream
By Sapphire Reine
Author says: An impressively sweet angstfic (*cough*) about Heero and Duo, from Duo's POV.
Credentials (what make the fic worth reading :P;;): Angst, uh... Sap, Shounen-ai, 1x2, Crossdressing XD, OOC-ness >
I suppose I should disclaim: They not mine-- none of em. T_T
****
A party is the perfect time for love. Everyone's spirits are freer because of the alcohol and nobody remembers much in the morning. A costume party is even more ideal. behind a costume and mask you can be whatever and whoever you want. It is a place for dreams to start-- and a place for them to die.
---
Duo approached his quarry, the skirts of his antique-style french dress rustling about his ankles. He was sure that he was unidentifiable- his honey brown hair was swept up and powdered and his face was also covered in a film of white. He had padded his chest enough to give the hint of womanly curves, but no more. Heero refused to get swept up in the costumed revelry, wearing a black tuxedo and black mask- a perfect, beautiful phantom.
Heero turned around and stared straight at him. He swallowed hard and fought the urge to run as he returned the glance with a saucy wink and made his way towards the other boy. As he neared, his heart almost stopped again. She was there. How was it that the one he loved to the exclusion of all thought had given his heart to her... to Relena. He stopped and turned away, tears pooling in his eyes and threatening to spill over.
The looks they had shared, Heero and Relena. Duo could practically read the love in his eyes and it tore him apart. He turned back again. Tonight was the only night that he could give voice to his feelings, even if it was under a different face. Tomorrow he would one again be the cheerful Shinigami, a comrade and no more. He walked resolutely towards the other boy, pasting a smile on his face. Quickly his eyes took in every detail of the other's face, committing them to memory. Finally he reached his destination. His smile became suggestive.
"Why hello," he said seductively. He was a brilliant actor.
Heero merely stared, then he narrowed his eyes and Duo had the uneasy feeling that the other boy could see straight into his soul. The feeling passed. Heero looked briefy at Relena and Duo's heart stopped. Then he gave her a quick, chaste hug.
"If you'll excuse us, my lady," he said quietly.
Duo's heart pounded in his chest. Heero turned to him.
"May I have this dance, Princess?" he asked, smiling slightly. Duo, shaking, nodded.
As Heero led him out onto the dance floor, the music started.
The Show Must Go On by Queen.
Duo thought sadly that it was appropriate.
---
Empty spaces - what are we waiting for
Abandoned places - I guess we know the score
On and on
Does anybody know what we are looking for
Heero drew him close, as they started moving in time with the music. His heart was an abandoned place. Even he didn't dare to visit it often. It was too painful. He leaned into the embrace, at least here, as a nameless woman, he could love the boy who didn't love him back. For a while that would be enough... maybe. On and on... the monotony of his life captured him. He had nothing- no one. He was alone, condemned to be so by his own foolish heart.
Another hero another mindless crime
Behind the curtain in the pantomime
Hold the line
Does anybody want to take it anymore
He imitated the gestures of a woman with faultless grace, following Heero's lead in the dancing and allowing himself to feel the warmth from Heero's chest.
The show must go on
The show must go on
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on
Duo closed his eyes to hide stop the tears once again. He kept smiling, however. His eyes were mostly hidden by the half-mask he wore, but his mouth could be seen by everyone. Heero's touch was polite and impersonal. Looking up into Heero's eyes, Duo saw only politeness. He looked harder. There was something beneath that he couldn't tease out. Did Relena love him as Duo would? Did she give him unconditional love as Duo would? Was Heero content? What right had Duo to make miserable the one person he truly wanted to be happy?
Whatever happens I'll leave it all to chance
Another heartache another failed romance
On and on
Does anybody know what we are living for
He wondered why he kept on with life. He wasn't needed, wasn't loved. If he left all he'd leave behind would be a string of failed loves and misguided affections. He hoped, dully, that someone would kill him and end it all, but still he smiled. Smiled like it was his one salvation.
My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies
Fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die
I can fly - my friends
He was a fool to carry on with this charade. He should rip the mask off then and there, but something stayed his hand. To expose himself was to isolate himself from Heero for good. The show must go on. Even if he was only a secondary character in the story of Heero's romance, he would rather stay as a good guy. To rip off the mask there... he would become a stick in the well running machine, an inconvenience that must be removed. If he removed the mask now... Heero would never speak to him again.
The show must go on - yeah
The show must go on
I'll face it with a grin
I'm never giving in
On with the show
If only Heero would direct one of those looks at him. Just one. He would be content with knowing that just for a moment Heero had loved him, for whatever reason. He looked up again at that face as their bodies flowed to the rhythm of the music. The face was distant, looking off somewhere behind Duo with a glazed, slightly frightening look, yet Heero's lips also curved upwards. The smile is a deceitful expression. Still, no matter what Heero did, who he loved, Duo would never leave him. he was content just to stand on the sidelines, loving Heero with a single-minded passion that would not- could not be reciprocated.
I'll top the bill
I'll overkill
I have to find the will to carry on
On with the
On with the show
The show must go on. For everyone's sake.
The show must go on
Duo stepped back slowly as the dance ended. The moment was over.
"Thankyou for the dance," he said quietly.
"Thankyou, Princess," Heero replied courteously.
---
Duo felt Heero's hot gaze on his back as he retreated as gracefully as he could manage.
Up the stairs... out of his sight... into a spare bedroom... shut the door...
He sank to the floor beside the door, his breath coming in shuddering sobs as he buried his face in his hands.
Heero...
He curled into foetal position and pressed his eyes shut as he struggled to regain control of his emotions. Images flitted before his eyes.
Relena, kissing Heero... Relena hugging Heero... The two of them going off alone...
He breathed deeply several times and opened his eyes again, ready to face the party once more. Standing up, the first thing he was aware of was that he wasn't alone. His eyes were caught by the other's deep blue ones. He froze.
"Hello, Princess," Heero said cautiously.
"Hello," said Duo quietly. He coudn't handle being alone with Heero. He was choking. Trying to keep from crying, laughing maniacally and throwing himself into the stronger boy's arms.
"You remind me of someone..." Heero said slowly... assessingly.
Duo's heart stopped beating. In a moment, Heero was beside him, gently removing the mask and staring down at the face he knew so well as Duo cringed back in his arms.
"Duo..."
Duo sighed and his eyes once again filled with tears.
"Heero... I..."
"Shhhhh..." Heero was still staring at him. "No words."
Duo closed his eyes once again. His breathing spead up and became harsher as he fought the wracking sobs that threatened to shake his fragile frame. He didn't want to see the expression in Heero's eyes. He remained that way, eyes closed, withdrawing into himself while still locked in Heero's arms for a full 2 minutes before the lack of action from the other boy caused him to look up. Heero met his gaze with a probing, thoughtful gaze of his own.
"A Masked Ball is a good night for make believe," Heero said thoughtfully.
Duo looked down and was absolutely shocked when Heero's arms tightened around him.
"Heero..."
He was stopped from saying any more by the astonishing sensation of being swept off his feet and deposited on his back on a bed. Before he could gain his bearings, his view of the ceiling was blocked by a head. He stared up at Heero, unable to move with his hands pinned by Heero's beside his head.
Heero stared down at him for a long moment before smiling slightly.
"Princess..."
Duo almost sighed. No matter how this night turned out, he had the uneasy feeling that Heero would call him Princess from now on, mockingly or-he wished- lovingly.
The thought was interrupted by the press of hot lips on his. His eyes widened as his body tensed in shock. Heero pulled back. Duo, not entirely pleased with this, strained against the other boy's restraining arms, trying to recapture those lips.
Heero smiled. his hands tangled in Duo's hair, trying to free it from the feminine style. That accomplished he stripped Duo of the dress, very gently. Duo just lay there, stunned as he was stripped of his disguise and left in boxer shorts. Heero stared at him.
"No illusions."
Duo sighed. "No illusions" he murmured.
Satisfied, Heero pulled Duo into a sitting position before capturing his lips once again. His hands wound through Duo's hair as the other pilot felt himself returning Heero's lust.
no... NO!
Suddenly Duo pushed Heero away and lept up from the bed.
"Damn it, Heero!" he almost shouted. "Don't toy with me! You don't love me. You love Relena! Don't mock my emotions!" his voice decreased in volume. "That's cruel."
Due retreated into himself once more, curling up on the floor and giving Heero a tasty view of silky skin and muscle.
In his style, Heero responded with few words. "Relena's a fool," he made his way to the ball of misery and gathered the boy into his arms for another searing embrace. Relenting, Duo settled with a content sigh, reaching up to cup Heero's face. His finger traced the line from Heero's cheekbone down his obstinate jaw and back to his mouth. Then he tilted his head up and recieved another kiss that he so craved and needed.
Suddenly, Heero drew them both to their feet. He wrapped his arms around the other boy, drawing them chest to chest, thigh to thigh, his arms resting in the small of Duo' back. Duo leaned his head on Heero's neck, fitting in perfectly under his chin.
Eventually Heero said quietly, "Are you ready to go back to the dance?"
A vicious game
Duo was silent for a while then, "Yes."
With the tenderness of a lover, Heero helped Duo back into his costume and found some Talcum Powder so Duo could coax his hair into some semblance of its original state.
Heero slipped out the door. Understanding, Duo waited another 10 minutes before re-entering the party from a different door. There was the perfect phantom, once again captured by her.
Duo smiled and for the first time, the was happiness, or at least contentment, behind the expression.
Heero had given him an invaluable gift. For those brief moments, Duo had been loved. His eyes met Heero's across the room and Duo finally understood that strange look in them. Longing.
He closed his eyes once again.
Life was a cruel play to throw him a ray of hope, in the form of this all-too-brief rendezvous, yet he couldn't help but cling to it.
Exeunt.
Exeunt
**Owari**
Author says: They certainly had the "Miaka..." "Tamahome..." thing going there for a while. -o- Review or i'll send you a mail bomb. -3-