The missing piece

by Serena Hell

Carlisle think he had everything. He has a wife and kids. He works in his favorite jobs, has money and houses all over the world. But still, something was missing. A little piece that would make his life more than perfect. But he couldn't figure it out. It is near, he feels it, but he couldn't figure it out. Maybe he searched on the wrong way. (Carlisle/Edward)

Hey there :)

I long time ago I had try to write a slash fiction and had failed. Now I had just a little scene that I wanted to write and here's a complete OneShot.

For me it's the first time I haven't translate a story from german to english. I had write it completly in english and I hope some peoples would leave a comment about this. Critic or positive words, I want to see both. Because without critic nobody gets better and without positive words nobody wants to publish anymore.

Greetings

Serena Hell

Warning: Slash-Fiction

Pairing: Carlisle/Edward

No explicit sex scenes

PART I - The Beginning

1918

It was a beautiful boy. Even with the pale of sickness and the smell of dying this seventeen years old was beautiful. Carlisle was alone for over two hundred years now and he hadn't seen a so fascinating person in this years of traveling. As Elizabeth, the boy's mother, make him promise to save her son, he didn't hesitate. He took the vulnerable body and brings him home. The flesh was soft and the blood warm and delicious but he had changed him.

He hates himself more by every scream. Guilt and shame wash over him during Edward squirming in hell. He asked god for forgiveness. He broke more than one rule of god and society. But even when Elizabeth hadn't asked him to save this boy he would have to do it. For once in all these years he was nothing more than egoism.

For two days he sits next to the boy, feeling his own change again and observe it from the outside. It wasn't nice. He tried to wash the face and throat as the changing was so far that he couldn't hurt him anymore. It didn't work out well but at least he had tried.

The first thing he recognized as Edward open his eyes was the missing color. He has had a beautiful green. Now it was a bright red. But his boy was breathing. Confused, angry, but alive.

"Where am I?" For the first time, he heard him speak without cracking voice. Still, the voice was full of youth but also with a touch of manhood. He thinks it was the most beautiful sound he hears his entire life.

"By me. I'm Dr. Cullen. I know you must be confused..."

/\/\/\/\/\/\

1920

"This is Edward." Even when he would try it he couldn't cover the pride in his voice. For the first time since he had changed Edward, he brings him to his friend Eleazar. A wise man and a really good friend.

Friendly they shook hands and mustered each other.

"You're a mind reader?" Edward just nod.

"Fascinating. And doesn't sound funny." With that, Eleazar had his boy who relaxed by his opinion.

He learns four things in the next two days. Edward was uncomfortable around Tanja. His boy loves to see sunsets and he was fascinated by music. And the younger refused to leave his side when he was strange somewhere.

It took Kate full three days before she convinced his boy to come hunting with her. Without him. He doesn't want to let Edward alone but Eleazar asked in the beginning of their visit if they can speak privately. Completely private. So he just smiled at Edward who sighed lightly before he agreed and follow Kate to the Denali hunting area.

Eleazar friendly mask falls the second they couldn't hear the both vampires anymore.

"Be true to me, Carlisle. Are you mates? Lovers? I saying nothing against it, I'm happy that you're happy but I hate it when my friends lie to me. Especially a close one."

Confused he just stares at his friend. Eleazar seems completely serious about his question.

"I... no, we weren't mates", he stumbled, "We're just... good companions." Eleazar raises his brow critical.

"Really... I'm not in love with him this way! I'm not a homosexual."

"Sorry", Eleazar muttered after a few seconds, "Just had looked like." How do they look like a couple in love? He hadn't a companion this close in his lifetime but he never thought they looked like mates.

"It's okay. But never think of me I would lie to you. Even when I would love him this way I would tell you."

1921

Three years of hard work destroyed by one decision. Edward doesn't speak with Carlisle anymore and doesn't want to come home yet. His decision to change this woman, Esme, had broken something between them, so his companion's words. Not the trust. The closeness.

He gives Edward a whole week before he excused himself by his newborn vampire and love and go to search his companion. It wasn't hard to find him, he just follows the scent through the woods but he getting more nervous with every step forward. As he sees him he makes clear that there was a respectful distance between them. But Edward doesn't run away, just looking up from his place on the ground.

"Do you want me to leave now?" It was a quiet, almost desperate, question. His heart shattered a bit.

"I never want you to leave, Edward."

/\/\/\/\/\/\

PART II - The Changing

1925

They were by Eleazar again, this time with his new wife. But he never had seen his friend so critical about something like this time.

"Are you sure about this?", Eleazar asked him for the hundred-five time.

"I love her." There was a sadness in his best friend's eyes he couldn't explain.

"I know you wouldn't lie to me. But maybe you lie to yourself. What's with Edward? Should he leave now you have a mate?" His friend sounds a bit sarcastic as he said 'mate'. He ignores it.

"I never would force him to leave." Even in his eyes, he sounds harsh. But alone thinking about it hurt him. No, he never wanted Edward to leave. And he never would.

1930

But Edward had leave 1927. Had just packing his things and left a little letter. That Carlisle and Esme need their alone time to build a relationship and that he just stands in their way.

Esme had been upset for over a month and they had their first serious fight. His wife wanted to follow Edward and he just wanted to respect his son's decision. Something in him was still shocked about the leaving. He had never expected that. And after the shock, the hurt and anger came. How could Edward do this to him?

In 1928 he and Esme moved to another city. He left a letter with their new home and hoped that Edward would come back. When it was only for a visit it would be okay. But he missed him so much.

In 1929 he begins to write letters to his missing son. About work, about books, about how much he misses the little things from his son.

The music.

The debates.

The conversations.

Also the comfortable silence between them.

In 1930 his son come back. A little more broken than before, a bit older than before, but still beautiful and clever. They took him back without a second thought. He teaches him hunting on his way again and they have had a wonderful time in the woods. Building up their old relationship and get into something more. Deeper when he needs to describe it.

In September 1930, 20th he makes Edward promise to never leave him again. First speaking and figuring out why Edward want to leave. Edward makes him the promise.

In November 1931 Edward said for the first time, that he loves him. He takes it as a familiar love like it should be. But it feels wrong.

1933

He had tried to make his son a bit happier. But changing a good looking woman wasn't the right way. It was their first real fight since Edward had come back and he now he would lose it.

"I don't even think she's attractive. And you don't hear her thoughts. I want some intelligent, Carlisle! Not some that looks at you and that's all this person needs to know. I can find my own person with that I could be happy. Thanks for thinking I can't."

"Are you going?" It took over his thinking. He had a good relationship with Esme and was really happy with her but he feared every day that Edward would go some day. And now he had made a big mistake. Something softens in Edward as he hears all these things in his mind.

"I promised you something. And maybe I hurt her feelings and need to make it better again." Esme had fled as she had seen the warm body. But Edward had stayed even when he hates his decision.

1935

Again it was Edward that had stayed by a changing. Now it wasn't for him, it was for Rosalie. Maybe it would bring fewer fights between his son and his daughter. Sometimes he thinks they only made it because they have nothing better to do. And Rosalie hates him and only stayed because of his family's feeding. He had offered her to speak with Eleazar but she never takes this opportunity. For the first time, Rosalie was here she had taken something from Edward without a sneaky comment. As his son offered to stay instant of her and telling her when it was safe and almost time she just thanked his son before she leaves.

This time there wasn't a conversation between them. Except for the desperate cries, it was silent. It feels like a lifetime since they just had sat together. So near that not even a site would fit between them.

It was almost over as his son speaks for the first time in two days.

"Everything had changed." And it sounds just sad.

1940

Alaska seems to be their vacation time. Now with this bigger family, it gettings more planned but they still see the Denali Clan as often as possible.

This time Eleazar don't ask him if he was sure about something. This time Eleazar goes to his oldest son and ask him if they can speak in private. There was a sad smiling at Edwards' face but he agrees.

Eleazar and his son were away for almost two days. He asked him about what they had spoken but he never becomes the truth.

1945

Their relationship hadn't changed but so many things were lost. Sometimes it feels like they lost it forever. They keep distance between them and speaking just about unimportant stuff. Edward doesn't just come to his room and sit down to speak about something that comes up in his mind. He knocked respectfully and ask if he had time. And it was rare that his son comes to him. Most of the time the younger read or play on his piano. He hadn't heard his song in years for now. No impulsivity discussions anymore. No impulsivity cheese games or hunting trips anymore.

It was the first time he ordered an 'Us-Time'. A few days just for them to hold the relationship they have had at the beginning. Just the two of them in the forests.

1950

Alice and Jasper had joined their family. It keeps them more apart than anything other. Two new vampires was a challenge for them and it needs time.

He missed his son even when he was the most time around him.

1960 - First Day

Their relationship was strong.

It was signed through trust and knowledge. Carlisle knows everything about his son and his son knows everything about him. It wasn't that hard because of the gift. You can't keep secrets by a mind reader. In the first few years, it was hard, brings them a lot of uncomfortable situations but he never regrets his decision to change this young boy. He loves him deeply and also Esme can't touch their bond. They have had fights in all these years and serious conflicts but they never turn each other's backs. He was sure his son would jump in front of him when it was necessary.

He would do it too even if he had his family and wife. Edward had stayed, except this few years back in the thirties, as his family grows and grows, even when it was like a little hell for his son. Deep in his heart, he knows it was because of him. The bigger his family get the less he had time for his first son. He shouldn't love one of his kids more than others but everyone knows what was fact. Their alone time was more respected than his alone time with Esme. Both of them enjoy every second of this alone time. More with the cutting times. And after all these problems with Alice and Jasper they deserve one again. He doesn't know if the others see it too but he could read in his sons mimic and eyes like an open book.

There was a light glimmer of sadness in his eyes, a soft bitter line at his mouth and a bit despair in his rare laughs. He could interpret what the problem of his son was – being the only person alone, being a mind reader, no time for himself, no time with him, giving up most of his wishes for the family – so many things but for the moment he only wants to see him happy again. Besides when it was just for a few days. He doesn't want to see him sad over his decisions.

"Pack your things." That was the only thing he said to Edward. His son doesn't even ask anymore why or where they go. He just took a little bag and put some clothes and a book into. It seems like the younger know that they go for a little trip.

"You two go alone?", Esme asked quietly, as he informed her about his week trip away from all of them. Alice looked pleased and Jasper raised his brown as a reaction to his feelings about this trip. Both of them were nice peoples and he really likes them. Alice was good to his oldest son. But they both must accept Edwards gift like he accepted theirs and all of them know it was harder than it.

And there was the problem. It wasn't easy, he knows that fact oh so clearly, but they had known since the beginning and made their decision about it. Staying means accepting.

"Do you really need to go?" It was rare that he took a complete week off and in the last decade he made it ever for his wife. But for this time he takes his time for his son and himself.

"Yes, honey, I need to go. He needs it as much as me." It was hard to explain and he was pretty sure nobody understands why they need it sometimes. Just take off a week to be alone. Away from the big family life, away from responsibility and being the grown up. He knows exactly without Edward the growing family would harder to handle. He loves his wife without a second thought and she was intelligent but when it comes to introducing new persons or go hunting almost every day it was his oldest son that helps him the most.

"Why you think he needs it?" Even when Esme was a mother to all the younger's (and Jasper) she doesn't know Edward as well as him. Nobody knows Edward so good.

"Trust me. He needs an out-time" he just said, "I know it." Little signs. And he needs it too.

"When you want him to stay I haven't a problem with waiting to a better time to go." Sure, his son had listened. He bet everyone. When it comes to him and his son nobody had a problem with listening. But Edward looks worried. Esme smiled light, sighed and shook her head.

"No, it's alright. Go and have some fun." There was a light sadness in this sentence and he feels a bit sorry about it. But he ever decided against it in the last decade so he just thanked her. His son looked pleased as he sees his decision against his wife and for him. Even when it was just for a week it would bring back a bit of this happiness he missed so much.

"Stay safe, okay?", was the last thing his wife said to him as they say goodbye to everyone. Emmett makes his jokes about affairs, Rosalie just muttered something during Alice was smile widely and happy. Jasper raised his brow again as he stares at Edward.

"Would be good for your mood, or?", his newest son asked his oldest son that shrugged slightly.

"Sorry", was the only answer Jasper get. The gift of his newest son was incredible and the half so hard than Alice or Edwards. But all of the three feels sorry when they overstep private spaces. Jasper was better than the other two because of his exercise but he couldn't hold back anything. Both of them sighed before they leave.

1960 - Day 2

It took them just a half day to fall back in the easy way they had lived for three years. He lost a bit of his strict face during Edward just speaks about things that come up in his mind. His son was more the seventeen-year-old that he was at his change. It pleased him to see this again after all the last decades and he bet Edward enjoy his loose style too. They have nothing to do. Nowhere to go. It was just the two of them in the woods, talking, laughing, and debating. He had forgotten how much he had loved this times. And vampires normally don't forget.

"Are you happy?" They had spoken about a cheese game Jasper and he had played as Edward came up with this question. The sun goes up between the trees as he turns around to his son. This question was serious. Not just a question of now. It was about the life they had.

He was. Almost. Something was missing, feels wrong when he thinks about his wife and kids. Not the fact that he had change them instant of getting married and make the kids by his own. Not the fact that there were vampires. It was a little thing. He feels the missing piece was near. He could take it when he would know it. But he couldn't figure out right now what it was.

So his answer was yes. The light falls on Edwards' hair, make it softer than it normally looks like. Until today he try to describe it correctly but he couldn't see which color was right. Now it seems brown with a red tone in it. Sometimes it's almost black. Sometimes a dark blonde. The golden eyes of his first looked at him and soften a bit.

"No your not. Not really." And as good he knows Edward, Edward knows him without hearing his thoughts.

"Are you?"

"Sure."

"Your not." They change a little smile. Both of them know that something was missing. By Edward he ever thought it was the fact that he hadn't found a mate until today. It was Emmett's' favorite thing to joke about but as he looked at his son now he sees that it was something other. But Edward hadn't found it either.

"Did I ever mention that my mother loves to see sunsets?" Smiling he shooked his head. Sometimes they surprise each other with new fact but with every year it was less. But he knows what his son want for this moment. There was a mountain just a few minutes of running away.

"Who's first?" They broke this little moment of truth. As long as they do not know what's missing they couldn't figure out the way to repair this.

1960 - Day 7

They almost forget every worry in this week. There was no new family member, no fresh vegetarian's, no work or fights to handle. Just hundred of miles to walk, some running challenges, a few sunsets and the conversations they had. It took them two days before there were physically close too. Not like a couple. Just a few more hugs, hanging the arm around the other's shoulder, a bit wrestling or just tickling. They had serious debating about their lives. Not about the question of happiness. An example was the question of a limit. They were seven persons now and so the second biggest circle in the vampire world. Would they take others, when they want to join?

This question took them over a day and they hadn't an answer. The only thing there was clear was about Edwards mate. When he would find her, she can join. With one condition and that was easy to see. She must be a vegetarian too. Edward had just laughed it off and had said that's so far away that they don't need to think about. It hadn't ruined the mood completely but that was something he needs to think about alone. There was a light feeling that he needs to categorize before he can confront Edward with it.

"It's the last day", Edward sighed as the sun crawls up behind the trees, "We need to go back soon." The sadness in his son's voice wasn't something he wants to hear. He had heard Edward laughing, even a bit giggling, more than the last two years. Edward had grown up through the responsibility of being the oldest sibling. But he misses the young man he had change.

"Don't think about it", he just shushes him softly, "Before mid, we don't need to go." For the last time in the next few years, they look at the sunset even when he doesn't look to the sun much. They choose the mountain from the first day to see it and had found a pretty place where they both can lie without problems. Thanks to the last week Edward was closer than he was since Esme's change and he knows he just needs to close up a bit and he would touch him from feet to head. It never feels weird when it was just the two of them, it was the opposite case. Just around other, there keep respectful space between them.

"I miss this", Edward whispered, as the sun feels right on his body. After all these years he was still fascinated by this young beauty next to him. Timeless beauty.

"Me too." He could almost figure out what the missing piece was. The closeness to Edward feels good and right. So absolutely right like nothing other in his life. But he still can't describe what he feels clear.

"What you think about visiting Eleazar? He still doesn't know Alice and Jasper."

"Do you think Jasper could handle it?"

"I worry more about Eleazar handling Alice." Now the quiet closeness was broken again. It hurts but he couldn't definite why and that makes it harder. There were rare things in the world he couldn't figure out when he wants too.

But he let the feeling go. Waiting for the day he would figure out.

/\/\/\/\/\/\

PART III - The Realizing

1969

"I think you had gone the wrong way." Every time he was in Alaska and offers new family members Eleazar had asked if he was sure about his decisions. But today he doesn't ask because he hadn't change them. Had just offer them a place to stay as vegetarians.

"What you mean."

"Everything after Edward's change." His friend looks serious but he couldn't understand what Eleazar means. Why was it wrong when he finally was happy, full happy, with his life? He had a wonderful wife and a wonderful family.

"I don't think so."

"He isn't happy anymore." Carlisle exactly knows who Eleazar means. He knows this fact but his oldest son doesn't speak with him about it. And he couldn't read minds so he needs to trust Edward.

"Maybe the mated couples around him aren't good for him." It was just Esme and him's theory but as long as he can't proof it he's not confronting Edward with this interpretation.

"Maybe mated is too much for describing", Eleazar muttered to himself, "Just think about it, okay? I think that what makes him happy is nearer then both of you think."

The missing piece. Near but undefined.

1970

Edward had gone. Breaking his promise to speak with Carlisle before he would left again. And again Carlisle hadn't seen the signs. Were there signs? He couldn't figure out.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle. I... I promised him to be quiet about the visions with him." Alice had been his hope for a fast search after his son. But the whole leaving was planned. Good planned. He knows why Edward had left this time. Not because of some fights or the feeling to stand between someone. It was because of him. All these years his son had stayed because of him. But the last ten years he hadn't been there for his son like he should - like he promised. Missing hunting trips, missing 'Us-Time'. Missing beeing there.

Alice and Edward had become really good friends and he gets a bit jealous about the deep trust between them. To share a gift had help too.

"Do you think you could handle a week alone?", he asked his whole family a few minutes later. Esme looked worried and more than just sad but nods. The same by Rosalie and Emmett. Alice offers him more time. Only Jasper asked him for a private talk. He doesn't pack some things, he just said to his newest son he should go a bit with him.

A few miles away from their home Jasper starts talking.

"This feeling you had...", his son started, "It's the same I have when Alice left for more than two days." Confused he looks at his son. He knows the feel from Edwards absence, he had felt it in the thirties, but he never thought somebody felt it too about without being with their mate.

"Maybe it's finally time for you to overthink your feelings. Edward wouldn't leave when he hadn't reasoned. You know that better than any of us. I observe you both for the last ten years. Both of you could happier."

He doesn't understand how his son could say something like this. What Jasper try to explain was easy. Edward and he are more than what they actually are.

"I love Esme."

"I know and she loves you too. But not in the way I love Alice or Emmett Rose. No one of you really feels that what I can see by every mated couple. It would hurt less, than leaving Edward, when you two quit."

"I'm not quitting with Esme!", he snapped, although he exactly knows what Jasper means, "I married this woman because I love her. Edward's my son like you or Emmett."

"When you think so." With that Jasper gives up and turn around. He doesn't look back as he starts to run. To Alaska, it was a few miles. After four days of running, he reaches the Denali territorial and just knocks.

"I'm not surprised to see you here", Eleazar greets him and let him in without asking.

"Edward left."

"I expected that too." No one of the Denalis was there except his friend. He follows the older to the living room and takes a seat in front of the fireplace. It wasn't nice to think about but Edward loves to sit at this place to read.

"What you're knowing I'm not knowing?", he asked his friend directly and wants nothing other than the truth.

"Much. But nothing of it I can tell you without breaking his trust to me. He needs someone and he couldn't speak with you about it."

"He could speak with me about everything!" Everything could include uncomfortable themes too!

"Not since you married to Esme."

"What does it matter if I'm married?"

Confused wasn't the right word for what he felt right now. First Jasper with his speak about real mates and know Eleazar said stuff like this.

"How you feel right now when you think of Edward?", Eleazar just asks as he sits opposite to him.

"What does it matter?"

"Just answer the question." He was here to speak so he should do it. Even when it was uncomfortable.

"Sad. Angry. Missing him. Don't want him to be away from me."

"Now say me what you feel when you think about Esme."

"Miss her", he shrugged but also see the point at the same moment, "But it's different", he tried, "I left her to search the son that leaves me."

"He never was your son. You called him 'my boy' back in the twenties."

Silent he looks at Eleazar.

"I don't love him this way", he whispered but feels by himself that he lied. All these years he had lied to others because he had lied to himself. He changed this boy without thinking about a son. By the changing, his thinking was far away from family.

"Maybe your wrong."

"But Esme..."

"Esme expected that, you know?", Eleazar interrupts him, "I think everyone had seen this between you two. But you was the one who refused to accept his feelings."

"I'm not homosexual", he just says, "It's a sin." His friend just laughed.

"Mating isn't something you choose, Carlisle. You think Marcus choose to feel in love with his friend's sister? I'm pretty sure he wouldn't."

"I never thought about him this way."

"He does it for you two more than enough." He stopped to find argument (even when he knows deep in his heart, Edward was this near missing piece in his life) as he heard this sentence.

"He did what?"

"Why you think he left? Just for fun? He's done with giving you everything and becomes nothing back!", Eleazar snapped angrily, "I try to help him the last twenty years and I was frustrated after five! And he does this all for over fifty years now."

Pieces in the mosaic of Edward's behavior begins to fall together. His heart clenched hard as he begins to realize what all this means.

"He never searched a mate."

"Not since he knows who he loves."

"Where is he?" He needs to speak him. Better fifty years ago than now. Was he really so blind? So egoism?

"Oh no, I don't say you where he is before you don't get over the things that come up in your mind now. He doesn't need a guilty, self-concentrated man now. He needs the man he falls in love all these years ago."

"I'm not self-concentrated!", he protested but don't sound so sure how he should be.

"All you wanted to have since I know you were a family. After stigmata. A wife and kids. Not a man who you hadn't give enough time to realize and fight."

"And because he is how he is, he just gives me what I think I needed the most."

Sometimes his so... Edward was just stupid. Not as stupid as he feels right now but stupid. And there was still Esme and his family.

Lots of stuff to speak about.

1971

"I had known this day would come." Esme sighed deeply, "Edward had me explain why he left and I know it would come soon."

Carlisle had stayed by Eleazar for almost two months. He had missed Christmas and new year but he doesn't regret it. Now, on the 6th January, he had decided to go back and explain everything. Edward was still away but Eleazar had promised him to find and bring him back.

"I am so sorry." He still feels so deep guilt about all of this. He had change so many peoples for nothing. A wife he really loves but not enough. A wife for Edward that had to find her mate after hating the world and him more than anything.

Esme's touch at his arm was soft. He couldn't look her in the eyes during his explanation what had taken him so long away. About what he really feels for the boy he had change first.

"I never thanked you for everything you had given me", she begins softly, "You love me, I know that my whole vampire life, and I never would say that you cheat on me or make me uncomfortable. It hurt, sure, but I had know you mated to this boy the day he left '27. You have given me hope. You was a good husband and I'm sure you would be a much greater friend to me."

"You're not leaving?", he asked surprised, "I was sure you never want to see me again." More softly than ever Esme took his face in both hands and force him to look up. There was the expected hurt and sadness but also understanding and love.

"You gave me kids", she whispered, "And for the first few years it would be nice when you take consideration on me but I'm not going to leave my family. The kids still need someone that saves them from you." They share a little smile.

"How I ever deserve you?"

"Nobody said you deserve my perfection!" The theme was over for Esme. She would get over this all and move forward. It hurts and was an unfamiliar feeling to take distance where there was touches and kisses before but he feels like he could breath easier now.

"When you need something, like saving you from bad vampires that make you uncomfortable, I'm still going to kick their asses, you know that?" He needs to make this clear. That she still can have almost everything from him.

"Wouldn't be fair. Jasper, Emmett, Edward and you against a poor vampire that just falls for my perfection?" He clearly knows why he had fallen in love with her in a first way. It wouldn't be easy in the beginning, both of them know, but it would work someday.

"Go and find your boy, Carlisle. And don't feel guilty about it. We can nothing for love."

"Thank you so much", he whispered the last time against this familiar lips, "For everything you had give me even when you had known it so much earlier than me."

"Remember the first time you said you're in love with me?", Esme asked with a light smile. Sure he remembers. At the same moment, it comes up to his mind where he can find his boy.

"I felt guilty opposite to Edward", Esme said but he was thinking about the time he needs to come to this place. Could be under two days.

1971

It was January, the 15th as he finds his boy exactly where he had expected him after his insight. It was the place at that Edward had told him the first time that he loves him. Almost forty years ago. Now the place had changed and both of them two. But not his feelings. He just changed his view.

"What you want here, Carlisle? Leave me alone." He sees the strength it took Edward to hold up a neutral face. But the darker as normal eyes tells him the truth. He holds up his mental shields to make sure Edward just listen to his actions and words.

Without a word, he goes to his boy. Stops just a few centimeters in front of the younger. For the first time since Edward left, he feels complete again. And for the first time since he had woken up as a vampire he felt happy.

"Finding you and bring you home", he whispered quietly as he took the younger's face in his hands. He doesn't even see any hope in this beautiful face.

"Do you love me?" Now he recognizes surprise.

"You know that I do it, Carlisle."

"Yes." But the instant of making Edward saying things about romantic love and the truth of the feelings he leans forward and presses his lips to the others. Edward gasps softly. It was hard to hold up his mental shields but he needs to make sure that his boy knew it. It would be too easy over the mental way. He needs to speak it aloud. Slowly Edward relaxed against his lips during he was motionless. Minutes passed, maybe it was just seconds until his boy was relaxed full and reply light to his touch. For countless moments their just stand there and feel the other for the first time.

"I'm so sorry for all these years", he whispered as he takes a bit distance between them and feels Edward shiver a bit.

"I'm sorry for being selfish for so long time", he sighed after a little kiss. His boy had closed his eyes and just feel and hear him.

"I'm sorry for taking so long to find you." Again a little kiss. There were many things he wants to apologize about. But Edward interrupts him with a whispered plea.

"Kiss me right." As his boy wished, he kissed him right.

The missing piece falls away. It wasn't near anymore. It was in his arms right now. He would apologize later more.

Now he just wants to make sure that he gives Edward everything his needy boy needs. It begins with shy kisses before he deepened it. His boy was a fast learner for someone that never kiss.

He makes sure he let his mind unlocked as the clothes were ripped from their bodies.

"Don't hide", Edward muttered as he distracted a bit with his searching hands, "Want to see anything. Like in the beginning." And he unlocked his mind. Give Edward all his thoughts as he explored every inch from this not so boyish body. He doesn't let his reflexes crawl up the wands as he prepared his boy. He makes sure that Edwards first experience in sex would be a good one.

Hours later, after countless apologized and misses he hold his boy tight in his arms. Both of them looking at the sun that comes up behind the mountains. So familiar the scene but so new at the same time. He couldn't believe that he holds him and be him so near.

"How's Esme?", Edward asked after a while. His boy sounds worried.

"She takes it good. They all. Ans she stays", he explained, "She had expected it. How long, Edward? And be true to me." He set a little kiss to the chaos of hair before he fishes out a sheet out of this beautiful hair. He decided that it was brown with a light touch of red.

"Almost ever. Think it was this first view stuff. But realizing? Around 1925. Accepting around 1940, as I speak with Eleazar, you know?" They fall in silence again but it wasn't uncomfortable. As the sun had almost reached their highest point, he speaks again.

"Edward?"

"Hmh?"

"I love you."

"Love you too."

END