The North Star
Happy senru day 2014! Period drama and lemony love await~! Please enjoy the story!
(quick edit and name change(!) on 12th July)
The dayscape from the castle rooftops is enough to set anyone staring. The wind whistles and whips around the peaks and tiles like a child swinging around a tree trunk, making your breath catch in your throat. The planes surround you on three sides, stretching for miles. It is a god's playground, dressed in a thousand nuanced shades of green. A young river approaches through the low hills, feeding our moats before reuniting with the sea.
They say that the Emperor is himself prone to stand idle at his window for hours at a time, doing nothing but staring out at the timelessness of this place.
Today, however, I am not staring outwards across the calm sea or the green carpet world, but down into the noisy courtyard far below.
It is the castle's outer keep. A huge gateway in the outer wall marks the main entrance to the castle complex, with a long wooden bridge that spans the internal moat up to the doors of the castle itself. Across this bridge guests have been arriving all morning, riding past the mounted guards who stand to attention on either side, eyeing the new arrivals with nearly as much attention as I.
I am six stories above the ground, clutching somewhat precariously at the smooth roof tiles, peering over the edge. Such a steep drop might have set my mind sick with dizziness, except for the concentration that runs through me like an iron rod. I have an important task to complete. So I watch them intently, like a hawk observing rabbits.
A quiet rustle behind me sends my muscles into tight coils, but I quickly relax, realising that noise was a customary, purposeful sound, audible despite the wailing winds. Comparable, I suppose, to a polite cough.
I do not move immediately, but subconsciously take careful stock of myself. I am all but invisible, cloaking my presence fiercely, camouflaged against the blue roof tiles. I am sure I have not been seen. And yet...
I feel suddenly irritated. I took such care, and yet he has found me here as if I were nothing but a child attempting to beat an adult at hide-and-seek. Reluctantly, I turn my eyes away from the monstrous drop and observe the grey-haired man standing not five feet behind me, high on the sloping roof.
"Kiminobu," he greets me with something of a twinkle in this eye, "You have found a good position."
I straighten, as if not at all concerned by the plummeting drop behind me, and give him a brief bow. "Thank you, sensei."
"Tell me what you have seen."
"One hundred and twenty nine guests have already arrived," I inform him proudly. "And among them I have identified five possible imposters and impersonators."
He nods sagely, then gestures vaguely towards the gate where three giant war horses are now trotting through, the echo of their thunderous hooves on the wooden bridge audible despite the distance.
"And what of these guests?" he queries.
I follow the line of his arm and look down to consider the approaching horses.
"Three warriors," I observe. "By their armour they have wealthy patrons. But it is ceremonial, impractical. The brown horse has an uneven gait, perhaps wounded or ill-bred. Perhaps they met trouble on the road. Failing pray to banditry casts question on their skill and experience. There is youth in the manner of their riding. They sit with a certain style, a way of weaving, that marks them as young. Younger than most warriors of standing."
My mentor is nodding quietly along, and I feel a satisfied flush.
"And your conclusions?" he prompts.
"First born sons," I reply without missing a beat. "Sent to represent wealthier fathers."
"Wrong."
I am caught wrong-footed. "What?" I ask weakly. I cannot see where I have faltered in my observations.
He smiles slightly, his white beard shifting against the cotton of his clothes. "Look at the dirt on the white horse compared to the grey. Then compare it to the chocolate."
I squint slightly as I peer downwards again. It is difficult to make out such details from this distance. "There appears to be a slight difference in the colour..." I acknowledge cautiously.
"The white is flecked with grey-tinted clay," my mentor explains, "of the sort you find in the Western valleys. The chocolate, you'll notice, is cleaner. Not because it is fresher, but because the dust of the Southern mountains brushes off more easily. Finally the grey horse carries an all-together darker soil. Eastern forestry would account for that."
There is no point wondering how he can see such things with his old eyes. He still stands some way behind me while I squint desperately to make out the minute details he mentions.
"They didn't travel together," I conclude finally from his hints. "They have come from different corners of the empire."
"And yet they are travelling together now. Clearly they had some prior arrangement to meet before approaching the castle. That suggests a closeness, a friendship between them, that young lordlings from distance provinces are unlikely to share. Now, notice the banners they fly."
I shrug. "The Emperor's banner. It is not uncommon. Many guests have displayed it as they arrived."
"Most guests have displayed it because they live in the surrounding lands, and owe first fealty to the Emperor directly. But for those who travel from further-afield, it is more common to display the banners of their home provinces, their daimyos and their patrons."
I hesitate, but am forced to nod. I had made a mistake. I should have noticed that.
"Yet these three distant travellers display only the banner of the Emperor. What does that suggest?"
"That either they are the Emperor's emissaries in distance provinces, or else they owe no intermediate loyalty, that is to say, they aredaimyos themselves."
The old man smirks and points with an imprudent finger. "Maki Shinichi, The Emperor's Star in the East. Fujima Kenji, The Emperor's Star in the West. Mitsui Hisashi, The Emperor's Star in the South."
I suppress my gasp of surprise. "The Emperor's Stars?" I echo, aghast. This has been a miscalculation among miscalculations. How could I have mistaken them for arrogant, first-born lordlings? The mistake is bad enough to make me wince.
My face must have plummeted, because the old man smiles sympathetically at me.
"Come down to the hallway," he says in consolation, "and you will see the Emperor greet his oldest and most loyal friends."
We arrive in the main hall just as the three warriors enter, each walking slightly bow legged due to the many hours of riding, and each with his beast-fashioned helmet tucked under his right arm. I notice a tiger, a dragon, and a panther.
My mentor and I vanish readily into the shadows at the side of the hall, remaining still and hidden as the warriors come forward.
I am relieved to see that I had not been mistaken in all my observations. The three of them are as young as I had estimated them to be. Early twenties. Perhaps the same age as the Emperor himself.
They are all uniquely distinct. Mitsui – Star in the South – is the tallest, with a thin frame and a handsome face. Maki – of the East – is wider and stronger, with a serious, mature look. Finally Fujima – Star in the West – is shorter and fresher faced. Of the three, he looks the most approachable, the least hardened. I immediately feel wary of him. My experience has taught me that it is those who seem least suited to their positions who hold them with the most skill. If this youthful boy commands all the armies of the West, there must be good reason for it.
Abruptly the double doors at the further end of the corridor crash open and two men come tearing in amidst a positive flurry of silk and fragrance. The interruption confuses my senses for a moment, and I even reach for my kodachi, unable to attribute the commotion to anything other than an enemy attack. My mentor reaches out and snatches my wrist before I can draw the blade.
The Three Stars demonstrate more presence of mind than I, for they drop to their knees and bow their heads. But the whirl of silk that is the Emperor does not slow to accept their formalities but plunges right among them, catching them all in his embrace.
The second man, who I realise now is the Emperor's man-servant, stops nearby, red-faced and short of breath. He puts his hands on his knees and wheezes in distress.
Fujima splutters and blows a silken sleeve off his face, and Mitsui scowls as he tries to push away the tight grip of his liege.
"Sendoh! By all the gods get off!"
The Emperor takes only a half step back and looks at the somewhat dishevelled men before him, laughter painted across his young face. Mitsui, Maki and Fujima stare back at him, slow smiles growing upon their expressions.
I stand amazed. Partly by the fact that I'd so nearly drawn my blade against the Emperor, partly because the scene before me is quite unlike anything I've ever seen before.
The Emperor Sendoh has always struck me as a profoundly private man, serious and quiet. He doesn't speak often to the servants and advisers that surround him, and certainly not to me. He became Emperor at the youthful age of seventeen, but it isn't easy to think of him as young. He has a dark intensity about him, a sharpness in his eyes that makes him frequently seem a great deal older than he really is. He is also the only person – besides my mentor – who routinely notices my presence when I attempt to hide. Not even my best attempts at the arts seem to confuse him.
Today, however, he seems quite a different person from the quiet and careful man I have become used to guarding. Laughter bubbles easily from his lips, and there is something relaxed, almost mischievous about his expression. I expect he is excited about the event.
"This," my mentor whispers close to my ear, "is their third visit to the castle in the last six years. Once for the Emperor's inauguration, once for his wedding, and today to celebrate his first-born son."
I nod seriously. The celebration tonight is to formally present the child - the future Emperor - to the court. For the first time, my mentor will not be the Emperor's first bodyguard, and is charged instead with the well-being of the infant. The task of the Emperor's primary protection has thus been handed down to me. I have been training for years for this day, and yet somehow it still seems so hugely beyond me.
Simply watching the scene from my hidden corner, invisible amongst the shadows, reminds me that there are a great many things I still didn't know.
I do notice, however, that as he converses, the Emperor's eyes keep sliding irresistibility towards the main doors as if expecting, or perhaps hoping, that some other guest would also arrive.
It strikes me abruptly then that I have failed to ask the most obvious question.
Where is the fourth star?
The largest of the courtyard gardens and all the surrounding rooms have been given over to the celebration. Servants carry food and pour drinks for the guests who sit elegantly in each interconnected room, sharing stories and laughter. Charming lanterns and streamers have been laced from the rooftops and tree branches, the candle light barely flickering in a night without a breath of wind.
One of the rooms has been reserved for the emperor's use, and a black lacquer screen painted in gold and silver obscures him from view. The slats in the screen are angled such that the Emperor can look out, but others cannot look in. I get the impression that the Emperor is not overly fond of the arrangement, but suffers it for the sake of tradition and safety.
I have already overseen the delivery of the Emperor's food, meticulously checked for signs of interference or poison, and while the guests are eating I drift cautiously among them, listening to the cadence of their conversation.
Some general complaints about taxes and farming rights. A little gossip over the expected future match of the new baby – Noble Yu's daughter is three already, and will be too old; Noble Loung's wife is some six months pregnant, perhaps she will bear a girl?
I walk on.
At one end of the room the Three Stars are seated, surrounded by a number of young noble women. The ladies are listening with wonder to the stories and jokes of their three companions, delicately hiding their mouths with their long sleeves as they laugh.
"Is it true," one of the women asks, her eyes shining in the candlelight "that you knew the Emperor as a child?"
"That's right," Mistui confirms with a smooth nod and a smile that seems to entrance his listeners. "We all trained together under the same master for many years. As children we were like brothers. We still are." He takes a casual sip of his sake.
"Was the Emperor much skilled with the sword?" another lady whispers eagerly.
"Among the best," Maki informs her, his demeanour no less smooth than Mitsui's. "He is truly an exceptional man."
"And you... his great Stars..." a third woman comments, fluttering her lashes a little, "...they say you are the Emperor's most powerful swordsmen. His most loyal generals."
"We protect his borders – to the East, West, South and North." Fujima explains. "And we are honoured to serve him."
"The East, West, South and North," she repeats thoughtfully. "How remarkable. And yet..." her sharp eyes move between them, "...I see only three. Where is the fourth Star?"
There is a hush, and the three men share a quick glance. I move a little closer to listen. It is Maki who finally speaks.
"The Northern border is a somewhat troubled region. It is rare that the North Star is able to leave the land unattended. Besides he is... ah... not so fond of gatherings such as this. He finds little pleasure in company."
"But even he will be eager to see the Emperor again," Fujima adds softly. "He will be here, if it is in his power."
Mitsui only purses his lips, and says nothing.
Sensing things left unsaid, I wait hopefully, but the conversation quickly moves on to more frivolous topics.
I think of what little I know about the Northern border. It seems very remote, very far away from here. A wilderness, mountainous and cold, populated only by roaming tribes eeking out a living on the snow-bound land. Beyond the Northern border is the Land of the Mauds; giant men, winter-hardened and little better than barbarians, who roar over our borders sporadically, pillaging outposts and stealing resources. To me, having grown up in the green fields of the castle, the place is little more than a distant unreality.
I begin to continue my walk around the room when a sudden stirring near the door catches my attention. I look up to see the inner door panel slide open to reveal a giant of a man standing in its frame. My first thought is of a monster. Deer antlers rise from his helmet so they nearly scratch the ceiling. His feet, legs and body are wrapped in thick fur such that the sword at his waist seems comically small by contrast. But the thing that really strikes me are the blue eyes that flash hard and cruel behind a snarling wolf-like mask.
A Maud, I realise, shocked. I have only heard of them in storybooks, but there is no mistaking those eyes like ice. For the second time that day, I reach prematurely for my blade.
"Good gods!" Maki bellows in astonishment, causing every head to turn his way. "Look at you. This is a party, not a battlefield!" He lets out a loud, warm laugh, and some of the tension eases.
I see the blue eyes blink as if momentarily confused, flickering in Maki's direction. Then the giant man moves towards where the three Stars are beckoning to him. The women draw back slightly. At least, I feel with relief, it does not appear as if he will attack. And if he were to, I could ask no better than he should be flanked by the Stars themselves. I am prepared to lay down my life for my Emperor, but as it is, I don't fancy my chances against this warrior from the North.
I hold my breath as he comes close to me, pressing myself flush against the wall to avoid jostling his furs as he passes.
As he draws level, his eyes flash directly to me and linger there, locking upon my face as if burning it into his memory. It so so rare for someone to notice me that I am forced to swallow my astonishment.
I feel suddenly cold to my soul. An frightened rush of adrenaline spikes in me, and I swiftly leave the room as soon as he's passed.
I hurry to the Emperor's room and find him kneeling close to the lacquer screen, pressing his eye to the gap in the slats, watching the party that is somehow beyond his reach.
He hears me enter, although I make no sound, and turns to look at me. There is expectation in his stare, and I guess he is keen for news of the party.
"Your Majesty," I greet him, dropping to my knees and pressing my forehead to the ground.
He grunts impatiently, and I lift my eyes and swallow nervously. "A Maudic man has just arrived."
He sits up a little straighter. "Maudic?"
I nod. "Do... do you want him removed... my lord?"
Even as I say it, I'm not even sure how such a thing can be accomplished. I wish fervently that I could consult with my mentor now.
However, the Emperor stares at me as if I have grown three heads. "Removed? By all the gods, no. What's wrong with you?"
I hesitate, confused. The barbarian Mauds are natural enemies of the Empire. Wild, unpredictable and violent. The sort of monsters that mothers use to frighten children into obedience. Be home by dinner or the Mauds will get you. It is unheard of that one should be seen this far south. Except now it seems one of them had just walked into the feast.
The Emperor sees my distressed look, and his expression finally cracks in amusement. "That Maudic man is Rukawa Kaede," he informs me with something of a sly smile. "He is my General in the North."
For a moment, his words simply don't make any sense, and I simply stare at him blankly.
"The Star in the North?" I finally manage to mutter hoarsely.
He nods, and to my relief, he still seems amused. "I have Four Stars. Four men who are beyond reproach or question. They have my trust, absolutely. Their word is as good as mine. You will obey them and treat them as you would me."
I must be gaping like a fish. "But... but..." I stammer. "A Maud?"
A flash of displeasure crosses his brow, and I know I am treading dangerous waters, but I can't retract the question now it has been uttered.
The silence prickles ominously, and I am just beginning to imagine how ugly my severed head will look mounted on a spike, when the Emperor finally speaks.
"The Northern border is... uniquely problematic," he says, and I allow myself relax a little. It seems I will survive my mistake. "The Mauds are a constant threat, and the Northern tribes have little or no loyalty towards me. They are different people, with different customs and languages from ours. Holding the border requires very skilful leadership. You are right, Lord Rukawa has a certain amount of Maudic blood in him, and that works in our favour. He commands much respect among the Northern tribes while remaining completely loyal to me. There is simply no other who could fulfil such a role."
I wait, but it seems he has finished. I let out the breath I didn't realise I'd been holding, and make to press my forehead to the ground once again.
"I understand. I hope you will forgive my ignorance. I will not make such a mistake aga-"
He cuts me off with an abrupt wave of his hand, and I snap my mouth shut as if he had struck me. I wonder what I have said wrong for a moment, until I realise that he is listening to something outside the room. I, too, tilt my head to listen, and hear the quiet swish of someone approaching. At his signal, I hastily step back into the shadows, and vanish from sight.
A half-second later, the Queen steps into the room. Her intelligent eyes fix upon the Emperor as she offers him a swift bow.
"My Lord and Husband," she addresses him. Her voice sounds cold, and it is impossible to miss the low anger in her words. I take in the sight of her. She is a remarkable woman – beautiful, regal and fantastically wealthy. First daughter of the Lord Miya, one of the most powerful men in the realm, she has certainly inherited all of his authority. There are jewels at her neck, her ears and wrists, upon her hair ornaments, and even encrusted into the silk of her slippers. Her stunning blue robe is embroidered with a thousand blossoms, and at the centre of each lies a tiny pearl. The cuffs and neck are lined with soft white fur. She is every inch a queen. Her natural-born regality makes the Emperor himself seem almost impoverished by contrast.
"My Precious Queen," he returns her greeting with an easy smile, seemingly oblivious to her mood.
"He is here," she says bluntly, her eyes narrow. "That Maud."
The Emperor smiles indulgently. "So I have been informed."
The Queen purses her lips slightly. "I dislike that man," she says crisply. "I dislike his eyes. The way you look at him. The hours you spend in his company."
"We grew up together," the Emperor explains patiently, with the air of a man repeating a line that has long lost its lustre after years of repetition. "He is a brother to me."
"It is a sully upon your reputation. It is a sully upon mine. They talk. The nobles... even the servants!"
The Emperor lifts his eyes towards the ceiling for a moment, a quiet sigh escaping his lips, then he stands and approaches her.
I hold my breath, not knowing what to expect. It is scandalous to speak in such a way to the Emperor, even for the queen. I rather think he might strike her a blow, a smart slap across her cheek, but I am wrong. He only grasps her arms in his warm hands and sets his eyes upon her flushed and unhappy face.
"My beautiful wife," he breathes comfortingly, "my Queen."
He pulls her softly against his chest and laces his fingers into her hair with loving tenderness. "You know I will do anything to make you happy. I will defend you to my last breath; I will never let you want for anything. Should you feel cold, I will give you the very clothes I wear to warm you. I would throw myself from the roof of this castle if only it would please you. You are the mother of my child, and I want nothing but that you should be safe and happy. In all these things I promise I will never, never let you down but Miyuki, beautiful Miyuki..." he draws back and peers intensely into her eyes, "...please understand. In this one thing, and this one thing alone, I will always fail you."
I hold my breath.
The Queen stares at him, frowns, and steps away from him.
"Don't let me see it," she hisses finally. "I don't want to see anything. Do not speak to him, greet him, acknowledge him. I don't want you to even look at him in my presence."
The Emperor smiles, a little sadly, and dips his head in agreement. With a final deep-set frown the Queen turns upon her heel and leaves.
It is nearly the middle of the night when the Emperor shifts in his sheets and sits up in bed. I have not moved from my post by his door, although my eyes are a little heavy with tiredness and boredom. It is my first time to guard the Emperor while he sleeps, and I wonder how my mentor managed to keep awake night after night, for so many years.
I see the Emperor part the soft curtains that surrounded his bed, and peer out at me. "Kogure," he summons me to his side in a low whisper. "Come, help me dress."
Somewhat startled – surely this is a job for the manservant now asleep in the adjacent room? – I step out of the shadows and help him to stand. At his soft instruction I drape a silken night-robe about his shoulders and assist him to tie the obi at his waist. He shuffles his feet into warm slippers and gestures for me to follow him.
"Now come," he tells me, "and by all the gods keep quiet."
Somewhat alarmed by this strange turn of events, I do my best to follow him. He moves swiftly down the corridors of the castle with a silence that even I envy. He is certainly skilled. I recall what the Stars said about his swordsmanship, and guess it was not all exaggeration.
I wonder now if we are perhaps visiting the queen or one of the many concubines, and feel myself grow a little hot with nerves. Of course I know that such things happen from time to time, but for it to occur on my very first night..?
However, we soon turn off the expected route, and head instead for the Western-most rooms where the guests are staying, and stop before an otherwise unremarkable door. The Emperor glances at me from the corner of his eye.
"This will go more smoothly," he cautions, "if you are not seen."
"I understand," I whisper back with a short nod, and immediately begin cloaking my presence. My skill in this art is strong, and my efforts are usually enough to confound anyone, but the Emperor continues to stare at me almost sympathetically before sighing and tapping quietly on the wooden frame of the doorway.
A responding grunt reaches us, and the Emperor slides open the screen and steps instead. I follow, little more than a shadow at his heels.
It is a guest room. Goodly sized, with a large futon laid out in the middle, sheets neatly made, unslept in. Each of the room's four corners is occupied by a square floor lamp, though only one is lit. Beside the bed, a young man is kneeling, dressed in a simple cotton night robe, his hands balled into fists where they rest on top of his thighs. His eyes are closed as if meditating. I do not recognise him.
I slip silently into the room as the Emperor closes the door and vanish into one of the dark corners.
"What's this?" the Emperor addresses the young man jokingly. "Do you no longer bow to your sovereign?"
The young man snorts derisively and opens his eyes.
I suppress my gasp. The Maud!
He looks quite different without his furs. Much reduced in size. The man who seemed taller than a giant is, I see now, actually slightly shorter than the Emperor. He is slim and handsome, despite his eyes. I find myself staring.
"It's been a long time," the Emperor says softly, moving to kneel by the opposite side of the bed, facing the other man across the sheets. There is gentleness in his actions. It is a different sort of greeting from the one he gave his other three friends only that afternoon.
Silence hangs in the air as they watch each other, perhaps taking note of changes that have occurred since the last time they met. The air feels tense. As if waiting for something to happen.
"How is your daughter?" the Emperor finally breaks the silence.
The Maud presses his lip tightly together. "She is well," he replies formally, averting his eyes, "not yet a year old."
The silence returns. I have to resist a powerful urge to shift my weight under the heavy awkwardness in the room. I hope the Emperor will say whatever he came to say quickly, so we can leave.
"Will you leave tomorrow?" the Emperor continues his apparent small talk.
"I will leave tonight."
"Tonight!" The plaintive disappointment in the Emperor's voice is impossible to miss. "It's five days hard riding to even get here, will you only stay a few hours?"
The Maud lifts his eyes. "I have no wish to anger the queen."
"Damn her!" the Emperor exclaims with a dramatic sweep of his arm. "What difference does she make?"
A small sigh. "Don't be naïve, Akira. That family is still powerful. Your rulings have cost them dearly recently. They lost their land holdings in Tsoya, and remember the queen's brother died in the Southern war only last year – don't think they'll forget that quickly. I'm already concerned about your safety. There's no telling what they'll do – even more so now there is this child..." he trails off with a frown.
They both look at each other. The Emperor seems unhappy and Lord Rukawa clenches his fists on his lap.
I am surprised. Is he suggesting that the Miya family may somehow harm the Emperor? I'm not sure, but I remember the queen's words, her cold anger about the Maud's presence, her eagerness that the Emperor shouldn't meet him. Is this what it looks like when rival factions move against one another? I frown to myself. I have little experience in politics.
"By the way, Akira..." Lord Rukawa continues, his Maudic-blue eyes sliding over to me. "Who is that boy?"
My eyes widen. I feel myself turn pale.
The Emperor's shoulders lift in a silent sigh, as if he expected as much. The Maud keeps his eyes on me.
It doesn't seem right to speak up – the question was not directed to me and besides, I am not supposed to be here at all. On the other hand, staying as I am – hiding apparently effectually in the shadows - seems a futile and somewhat embarrassing exercise. An awful clamminess climbs up my back, and across the palms of my hands.
Luckily, before I can make up my mind what to do, the Emperor speaks. "He is my bodyguard. One of Tetsun's ninja."
"Where is the old man?" Lord Rukawa wants to know.
"With my son."
Lord Rukawa frowns so deeply, lines appear like valleys in his smooth brow.
"Ridiculous!" he exclaims, his voice full of concern. "You are the Emperor! You are under far more direct threat than..."
The Emperor cuts him off with a lift of his hand. "I will not allow even the slightest risk to my son's safety. Besides, Kogure is among the best. Tetsun himself says he hasn't had a student his equal in twenty years."
Lord Rukawa does not look convinced. He reaches out a hand and almost snatches up his sword that rests on the floor at the head of the futon and gets to his feet.
"Well then let's see how good he is..." he says coolly, and comes my way.
I try to breathe slowly and evenly, but I have to confess that the sight of that Maudic Warrior reaching for his sword makes me a little weak at the knees. I try not to let my nervousness show as he approaches, heavy purpose in every bare-footed step.
The furs that earlier made him seem so unrealistically big, had hidden just as much. Dressed in his simple night robe I can clearly see that he is all muscle and sinew and tiger. Everything about him is thrumming power. This General from the North.
"Kaede..." the Emperor says with a half-hearted sigh, "...don't-"
An instant. His foot moves forward half a pace, that is all. A small whirlwind along a blade and he is at my neck, his breath on my cheek, his eyes ferocious. The cold steel sets goosebumps over my skin, but I meet his stare. I haven't flinched.
He waits a moment longer, his sword at my throat and our eyes locked in a fierce battle of wills. Then he steps away again, sheaving his blade with a metallic hiss, and narrows his eyes.
"Decent," he admits coldly. "But he still isn't good enough. A student is still a student. Potential is still nothing but potential. He isn't ready." His eyes glare at me. "Get out."
I wait for the Emperor to speak, but he says nothing. He sits with his back to me, so I can judge neither from his expression nor his eyes. I hesitate.
Lord Rukawa leans a little closer to me. He is a good two feet taller, and far broader. My arts favour the shadows, tricks and traps and tools. I have a lot of skill with my short kodachi, but in a straight up fight I know I have no chance against such a man as this.
He knows it as well.
"Get. Out."
Still the Emperor says nothing. I do not know what to do. The protection of the Emperor is my sacred duty. I'm not supposed to leave his side. But the Emperor told me only this evening that I was to obey the Four Stars as if they were Emperors themselves. That they, and they alone, have his full trust.
Truth be told I am more than a little eager to leave. This Maud frightens me in a way I've never known. He seems the stuff of stories, with his pale marble skin and deadly blue eyes. My feet may even have pointed towards the door, but in a sudden rush of madness, I somehow square my shoulders even though I am still leaning away from his radiating aura.
"No." I manage to refuse him.
"No?" he repeats, his voice little more than a whisper that chills me to my soul.
I lean forwards of my own accord, narrowing my eyes, willing my voice into a lash. In the end my voice carries more force than I could have even hoped. "I will not leave the Emperor in the company of a Maud."
I glare at him. The silence rings.
It rings and rings and does not end.
When the Emperor finally turns to look at me, his face is a mask of anger. Fury seemingly beyond bounds. The force of it would have made me take two steps backwards had there not been a wall behind me. It probably was unwise, I recall a little too late, to draw attention to Lord Rukawa's questionable lineage.
As it is, Lord Rukawa is the one who steps backwards, away from me, his face arranged in strange astonishment. Then he claps his hand down onto the Emperor's shoulder as if for support, and seems to relax a little.
"Good," he says.
The Emperor looks surprised and glances up at the man beside him.
"Kaede..." he begins, but trails off when he sees that the Maud is looking at me with an unidentifiable expression. Is he angry? Impressed? Apathetic? I can't tell at all.
Eventually he nods his head again, as if to confirm his earlier hypothesis. "He has good eyes now," he says.
The Emperor glances over at me, but returns his eyes to Lord Rukawa almost immediately. The Maud ignores him.
He steps instead towards me once again, something flickering deep within his gaze. I am as tense as a spring, not knowing whether I am going to be praised, skewered on the end of the Maud's sword, or beheaded at the behest of the Emperor. Is this really only my first day as the Emperor's bodyguard? Is it going to be like this all the time? I'm not sure I can stand the pressure.
"The Mauds..." Lord Rukawa begins, his eyes wholly dark and fixed on me such that I cannot bring myself for a moment to look away. "...are they your enemies? Is that your job as bodyguard - to protect the Emperor from the rampaging hordes?"
I blink at him. It sounds like a rhetorical question, but he appears to be waiting for an answer. I don't know what he expects me to say. I lick my suddenly dry lips. I have never even seen a Maud before this day. They are dangerous of course, but they are distant too.
It seems I am taking too long to answer, because his expression grows impatient.
"It's easy," he says, "when your enemies are visible. When they salivate at the mouth. When they charge you with axes and their shields. It's easy to recognise danger when it looks like a Maud. But you will never see a Maud within a hundred leagues of this castle in your life time. Never. Do you know why?"
"Because you are guarding the Northern border," I reply immediately, my voice barely louder than a whisper. I am utterly out matched by this man. He hardly seemed older than I, yet his voice rings with experience far beyond his years.
I hope my deference will get him off my back. Most generals like to hear praise. They always strike me most with their profound sense of self-importance. Stroking their ego, paying homage to their prowess in battle, has always worked well. I suppose I ought to have guessed, though, that the man before me was different.
Instead of an expression of smugness, he looks surprised, perhaps even repulsed. His lips form a tight, angry line.
"Do you think I am some sort of god?" he asks contemptuously. "Don't be ridiculous. The Mauds are a dangerous, powerful enemy perfectly capable of overwhelming me. But they have no interest in kingship, in government, in politics. They barely have a ruler of their own. The position of Emperor, the concept of country... their language doesn't even have words for such things. The mountains are their homeland, certain resources are necessary to their survival, that is all."
He pauses and gives a sigh then. A heavy one, that seems to come from the very depths of his heart. I am at once struck by a tiredness about him that I hadn't noticed before. He lifts his eyes to meet mine through his fringe.
"This castle," he continues, "is far more dangerous than the Northern border will ever be. The Emperor's real enemies don't wield swords or shout battle chants. They are the ones you see every day. Who change his sheets. Who serve him breakfast. Who share his bed. Who discuss politics and bow and simper and fawn. An entire legion of Maud are less dangerous than the snakes around us right now."
He pauses, and there is anger in him, his eyes suddenly smouldering. His hand grips his sword hilt fiercely, as if it were to blame.
"But I cannot be here." He reveals finally, his frustration audible in his voice. "I cannot protect him from the threats under his feet. It is you who I must protect him. I would not have you trust a single person in this castle. Not the queen, not the man-servants, the cooks, the politicians, not the Emperor's own judgement. And least of all me."
I open my mouth to reply. But why? I want to know. Why can't you be here, if it bothers you so much? If he is in so much danger?
The Emperor interrupts me before I can speak.
"That's enough," he says finally, in a tone that is not to be argued with. "Kaede, join me please."
Lord Rukawa hesitates, but turns away from me and returns slowly to where he had previously sat, seating himself elegantly opposite the Emperor on the further side of the futon. I once again attempt to utilise my art and vanish amongst the shadows although, truth be told, I don't hold much hope of success. It doesn't seem to matter too much.
This time, when the two men allow their eyes to meet across the space, I am filled with the sudden sense that – to them at least – I have abruptly ceased to exist.
I watch the royal façade seem to physically roll off the Emperor. He looks at once so much smaller, and yet... so much more. Slowly, carefully, he begins to crawl forward on his hands, onto the silk of the futon, and with gentle curiosity, presses his palm to Rukawa's cheek.
The action is unusual, to say the least. Yet the Maud does not move away. Instead he leans against the gentle hand and closes his eyes with a sigh.
For a moment, the Emperor looks sorrowful.
"Must you leave tonight?" he asks in a whisper.
The Maud gives a silent nod.
The Emperor frowns. Then he puts his hands on Rukawa's shoulders and guides him to lay back upon the futon, the ice blue eyes flickering seductively open. The Emperor follows him with his own body until one is draped over the other. I'm staring in complete confusion. Something tickles in the pit of my stomach as I somehow come to realise what this is. I swallow and press my lips together tightly as I watch.
Rukawa looks up at the Emperor through half-lidded eyes, sighs a little, and closes them as the Emperor sets gentle kisses on his brow, his nose, finally his mouth.
And suddenly the queen's anger is explained. I realise that Lord Rukawa does not speak cleverly – his concern for the Emperor, his suspicions of the Miya family, are not born from selfish politics, but something deeper entirely.
A soft moan. I see Rukawa's hands move to Sendoh's back, rustling their way up the expensive silk robe before settling in his hair – clenching his fists a little – holding him against his mouth. They press against one another eagerly, confidently, as if the sensation is a comfortable, familiar one. As if they know each other well. Reuniting after however many years apart.
Childhood friends, I recall what the other Stars had said.
Lord Rukawa parts his legs slightly, just enough that Emperor Sendoh can settle his weight more comfortably between them even as he pushes his hands under the cloth of Rukawa's robe, forcing away fabric to reveal strong, smooth shoulders, not breaking the eager smoothing of his lips even for a moment. Rukawa gives an accommodating arch of his back and Sendoh digs his fingers into the knot of his obi, pulling it apart until the robe falls open at his waist leaving Rukawa unfurled and naked at the centre of the open cloth. He sits up readily and removes his arms from the sleeves even as Sendoh pulls back to undo the knot of his own robe. Rukawa's arms are back around him, holding him hungrily, even as he shrugs his way out of the clothing and they fall once again against the futon.
I press my hand against my mouth, trying to suppress my own short breaths. I realise I am panting. My back slides down the wall until I am sitting at the base of it, aware suddenly that my own desires are rising, twitching and seeping between my legs. I have to close my eyes so as not to shame myself further, but it only makes the sounds of them seem louder in my ears. The rustling of fabric, the wetness of lips, the soft moans from hungry throats. I can't resist a second look from beneath my lashes.
The Emperor has caught the Maud's wrists in his hands, pinning them above his head, looking down into the face that stares wantonly back. He smiles coyly.
"Come and live here with me," he tempts in a low, sultry voice, dipping his head to lick lasciviously at Rukawa's lips, only to pull away when they part hungrily for him. "Forget the North. I want to see you everyday. I want to taste you everyday – like I used to do." He lowers his hips to rub their now bare shafts together so that Rukawa tosses his head and bites his lower lip with an alluring moan.
His eyes full of happy laughter, Sendoh releases his hands only to clutch fiercely at his hips, bringing his mouth down to Rukawa's seeping erection. He lets it slide slowly into his mouth, gripping it with his lips from tip to base. I see Rukawa curl his toes against the blanket and groan, throwing his head from side to side, clutching desperately at Sendoh's hair with his hands.
Again and again Sendoh bobs his head, driving the Maud into a frenzy of gasps and moans, sweat trickling from his brow, lips parted as he gasps at the hot air, moving his hips eagerly with the motion. The muscles in his thighs and firm stomach move enticingly under his skin. I press my hand between my own legs, almost as if to force my erection downwards again, and let out my moan as softly as I can.
Just before Lord Rukawa can reach his peak, the Emperor pulls away. He lifts the Maud's legs further apart, shuffling his knees against the soft futon, pushing forward eagerly like a child reaching for a treat. The response is automatic, craving, all invitation. Blue eyes smoulder dazedly beneath heavy lashes. Strong thighs embrace his sides, a body that is warm, hungry and welcoming. A place that feels like coming home.
I bite my knuckle as the Emperor enters him, and Lord Rukawa throws back his head with a short cry. The smooth arch of his neck arrests all my attention, pale and delicate, the small lump of his adam's apple made more prominent by his vulnerable position. Entirely open, laid to waste. Sendoh's lips suckle on that exquisite neck thirstily, even as he thrusts himself forward eagerly.
I watch the way Rukawa's long fingers clutch desperately at the sheet, his nails twisting the fabric in passion. The slight rubbing motion between his clothes and his back as he is pushed back and forth on the futon. The wrinkles and folds that gather in the cloth around Sendoh's knees.
These two men. Two men bound together in ways that I cannot even begin to fathom. Their history. Their relationship. Their bond. Where did it come from, this dangerous but godly pleasure they share? What brings them together? What is keeping them apart? A feeling so deep, so far reaching that I can feel it in my chest from where I sit, just a small and awed voyeur to a passion I cannot touch.
It ends as they finish together, the Emperor's final violent thrust coupled with the Maud's last gasping groan, spilling himself between their two bodies. Then they collapse together, holding one another tightly as if they can't bear to let go.
I lift my hand to my face and realise there are unexplained tears on my cheeks.
Minutes pass. Silence.
I begin to wonder if they haven't fallen asleep peacefully together. Gradually my own arousal seeps away from me. Finally, I have semblance enough to climb back to my feet. I recall that I am supposed to be guarding the Emperor, and that I ought at least to make a show of doing so. I stand away from the wall and try to force myself to be more alert.
It must be thirty minutes, longer perhaps, before Lord Rukawa moves. He extracts himself carefully from the dozing king's embrace and begins to dress himself. He spares me no more than a passing glance. I almost want to protest. It doesn't seem right that he should leave after the intense scene I just witnessed. Surely these two men belong together perpetually.
He leaves his sleeping robe where it is, crumpled beneath the Emperor's body. Instead he dresses in his light armour, with his thick furs on top. It is fascinating to watch him disappear into the shell of a fierce Maudic warrior after I have just watched him come utterly undone in the Emperor's hands.
It isn't until he finishing strapping his sword to his waist that the Emperor speaks.
"Kaede..."
Lord Rukawa freezes. Even I had assumed the Emperor was sleeping. The Maud turns back to look down at him. There is a little reluctance in his look. I expect he was hoping to sneak away unnoticed.
The Emperor props himself up on his elbows and watches him.
"...I've been thinking," he says. "About the future."
The Maud's look becomes openly wary.
"Your daughter. When she is of age, I will have her marry my son."
Both Lord Rukawa and I look astonished.
"She will be the next queen," the Emperor continues excitedly. "Your descendants will be kings..." his eyes glitter almost mischievously. "The royal line will be your blood mixed with mine."
There is a stunned silence. I put my hand to my mouth. This is a honour – an honour beyond honours, lasting for generations to come.
Lord Rukawa, however, looks down at his own hand, opening and closing his palm in agitation.
"I am no noble," he says finally with a slow shake of his head. "And there is... Maud in me."
The Emperor shakes his head too. "You are the Star in the North – one of my greatest generals. You are nobility in your own right. Besides your wife is a Noble's daughter herself. Your daughter is certainly fit for an Emperor. There is no one who would protest the match."
Lord Rukawa lifts his eyes and shakes his head for the last time.
"No," he says with finality. "I would not wish this upon her."
The Emperor climbs onto his knees, his expression imploring, but the Maud has already reached the door, his furred boots silent against the mats.
"What do you mean?" Sendoh insists, his mouth agape with anxiety as he watches his lover slip softly away from him yet again.
Lord Rukawa gives him a final look. "I would not have her know this pain," he explains, lifting one pale hand to brush against his own chest. His eyes flicker downwards. "The agony of loving a king."
A swish of the door, and he is gone.
We wait in silence, the Emperor and I, but nothing happens.
Eventually, far below us in the courtyard, the sound of hooves thundering over the keep bridge reaches our ears. I glance at the Emperor, only to see him with his face buried in his hands, sobbing.
I feel his pain like a knife in my own heart.
"Why?" I can't help but force the word from my throat. It isn't my place to comment, but this doesn't seem right at all. There is no mistaking the love shared between these two men. "Why can't he stay? You want him here. How can he refuse?"
When the Emperor lifts his head I am struck by his expression. He looks lost. Like a small child.
"He..." he begins, his breathing a little harsh, "...holds the North for me. He is my... Northern Star. That... that is his place."
Six days hard riding, the Emperor had said. Six days to reach the Northern mountains. The distance seems completely unreasonable. There is simply no other who could fulfil such a role. Yes, the Emperor had said that too.
"But why can't he..?" I trail off mid-question. Of course I know why he can't stay longer. The queen's anger, the perceived insult, the threat of the powerful Miya family. It was perhaps the ultimate irony that the man Rukawa most wanted to protect was endangered just by his presence.
It is love, I realised, that pulls them together. And the same love drives them apart.
I imagine for a moment Lord Rukawa leading the tribesmen of the North, protecting the Emperor's borders from the rampaging Mauds. Doing the only thing he can to help protect his king.
Knowing that his presence at the castle only causes the Emperor greater danger, but on these rare days of celebration being ultimately unable to keep himself away.
This is what he meant. The agony of loving a king.
I move forward, collecting the discarded silk robe from the floor and draping it around the Emperor's bare shoulders.
"Your Majesty," I whisper to him. "We should return to your quarters."
I do not want the queen to know you spent the night here She will be glad that Lord Rukawa has left so soon. Let us leave her to wonder why. Let me help protect you and the love you share with him a little longer.
With my hand gentle on his back, I encourage the Emperor through the midnight corridors of his castle. It seems strange that the bedroom we left not an hour before seems utterly unchanged. Completely untouched by the earthquake of understanding that has ripped through my soul.
Eventually the Emperor is sleep again in his lonely bed, and I remain his silent sentinel by the door.
Far above us, the wind plays on about the rooftop. It seems the Emperor's days of staring dreamily across the landscape are not yet over.
-the end.
You say that love goes anywhere,
In your darkest time it's just enough to know it's there.
When you go I'll let you be,
But you're killing everything in me.
I'll wake up tomorrow and I'll start,
tonight it feels so hard.
Am I only dreaming?
(Polaris by Jimmy Eat World)
Ans: Been working on this for a while, but rushed out the end today since it was senru day (ahahah I forgot about it – opps!) Probably could have been better but, alas, this will just have to do.
Reviews are hugely appreciated! Such a review whore :( Even if you don't like it, please let me know, I am always super eager to improve.
I have another senru fic in the works (70% finished?) which will hopefully be done within the month since it is now – summer! yay! no more school for over a month~! (I'm a teacher, not a student, by the way, haha).
In other news, I recently took a trip to Japan and was lucky enough to finally visit Nijo Castle. Was so happy wandering around the grounds and imagining Sendoh's childhood there. Good times :) I also visited the grounds of the Imperial Palace in Tokyo but, of course, Edo Castle is sadly no more. Unfortunately I was visiting with my mother (!) so I couldn't make it to the Ikebukuro Mandarake (aka the BL/doujinshi paradise!) therefore another trip must be planned soon – mwahaha.
Finally, PRIN is back! I expect almost all senru fans know Prin and her senru doujinshi Deep Purple :D She has restocked with 2014 versions of the books which can be purchased from her website now! She has also hinted at a continuation of Deep Purple (we've been waiting SO LONG!) - I'm totally psyched for that :D Woohoo! senru joy everywhere!
Polaris by Jimmy Eat World