Author's Note: This is just a little one-shot that wouldn't leave me alone. I'm finally getting over my writer's block for "A Weekend Away", so a new chapter should be up this week!
Disclaimer: I don't own Bones, Fox does. This is just for fun.
She sat in the very last pew on the left side of the church. The rest of her team was sitting in the second one, but she couldn't bring herself to join them. They were all happy that he was getting married, but she…let's just say she would have been happier to be anywhere but here. But she had promised him that she would come and she had to. You don't break a promise.
She listened as the priest asked if anyone in the room protested this union. She wanted to stand up and say something, but she knew that he was happy and that was all that mattered, right? Just because she was pretty sure she was in love with him didn't matter. Who was she to take his happiness away?
She let her thoughts drift back to that mistletoe kiss they had shared because of Caroline Julian. The way his lips had pressed against hers and the fact that she had ended giving him her gum. The way she had grabbed the lapels of his coat to pull him to her. She had lied when she said it had been like kissing her brother-it was the only thing she could think of at the time that might relieve some of the awkwardness in the room. Frankly, it was the best kiss she had ever had. Not that she could tell him that now. No, that would be extremely out of line and un-called for.
She turned her attention back to the couple at the front of the room just to see him lean in to "kiss the bride." She looked down at her hands clasped in her lap and felt a tear run down her cheek. She made no attempt to wipe it away as she turned to see him making his way down the aisle with his new wife. His eyes were scanning the room and they soon found hers, their gazes locking. Another tear rolled down her cheek and this time she reached up to brush it away. By then he was already out the door and Angela was walking up to her.
"Why are you sitting back here, sweetie?" Angela said, giving her friend a puzzled look. "Everyone else was up there." She gestured with her hand towards the front of the room.
"I don't want to talk about it, Angela."
"You're not dressed for a wedding. Where's your dress? Are you going to the reception?" She didn't answer, just stood and walked out, Angela following close on her heels.
"I'm not going to the reception." She finally replied, having exited the church and walked over to her car in silence. "I promised Booth that I would come to the wedding-I never said anything about the reception."
"Well, if you go to a wedding, you usually go to the reception." Angela put both hands on her hips and gave her friend a searching look. "And promising to go to a wedding usually implies promising to go to a reception afterwards."
"Look at me, Angela. I'm not wearing a dress, my hair isn't done and there's no makeup on my face. There is no way in hell that I'm going to that reception anyway."
"And why not? If you're not going to go, then can you at least tell me why not?"
"No, I can't, Angela." She put her own hands on her hips and glared at her friend. "You don't need to know, anyway."
"I know what's wrong, all right? Why didn't you just tell him?"
"He was happy. I wasn't going to break up that happiness for my own gain." She began to dig through her purse for her keys, but couldn't find them. Looking over into the window of her car, she realized that she had locked them inside. Just one more thing to make this day worse than it already was.
Following her friend's gaze, Angela saw the keys that were sitting on the driver's seat. "Looks like you're going to need a ride. How about I take you home, you can grab your dress and we can go to the reception?"
"Fine. I'll go to the stupid reception. Will that make you happy, Angela?" She exclaimed, stepping around her friend on the way to her car.
"I'm sorry, sweetie."
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An hour later, she had been forced into a strapless, knee-length, and turquoise dress. Her hair and makeup were done to Angela's satisfaction and she'd even gotten her to allow her to wear flats with her dress. If she was being forced to go to this reception, she wanted to be comfortable.
She stepped into the hall with Angela by her side. The bride's parents must have some money, because Booth couldn't have rented as good a place as this. First of all, it was beautiful inside and secondly, it was surrounded by a garden, which was lit up. She felt a lump rise in her throat as she looked around. She spotted Booth and his new wife talking to another couple at the other end of the hall and sighed. Maybe if she had told him how she felt, that could have been her.
I can't do this, she thought to herself.
"Yes, you can. He needs your support." She looked over at Angela and realized that she must have spoken the words aloud. She took a deep breath and followed Angela through the crowd to Booth.
"Bones, I didn't think you were going to make it." He said, a look of genuine surprise on his face.
"Well, I promised to go to your wedding and Angela says that promising to go to a wedding implies that you go the reception and I couldn't break my promise." She found herself babbling, unable to look him in the eye. Instead, she found herself staring at a spot that was somewhere to the left of his head.
"I'm glad you're here." He gave her a small smile and looked like he was about to say something else when his wife grabbed his arm.
"Seeley, dinner's about to be served. We have to go to our seats. Oh, hi Dr. Brennan." His wife-what was her name? For some strange reason, she found that she couldn't remember- turned to look at her.
"Hi. Um, me and Angela should go sit down, too." She stammered, turning towards Angela. "Where did you say we were sitting again?"
"Right over there." Angela pointed. "So, we'll see you two later!" She yelled as Brennan dragged her away towards their table.
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Dinner had been served and music was beginning to play. She watched from where she was sitting as Booth led his wife out onto the dance floor for the traditional first dance. She looked around to find the rest of her team gone. All of them must have found something better to do than sit here. So why shouldn't she?
She found herself exiting the hall into the garden. No one else was out here and she made her way to a stone bench. She sat with her back to the door and leaned forward with her face in her hands. She felt the tears begin to well up and let them run down her cheeks uninhibited as there was no one around to see her cry.
She didn't know how long she had been sitting there when she heard his familiar footsteps heading towards her. She looked down at her hands clasped in her lap as he sat down next to her. She felt the tears fill her eyes once again and one began to trace the familiar path across her cheek. Why couldn't she stop crying?!
"She's pregnant." He spoke softly, his words cutting through the tension between them.
"What?" She looked over at him in shock. "She's…what?"
"Pregnant." He drew in a deep breath, but continued to look straight ahead. "I never wanted to marry her…but I had to." He paused and turned to face her. "I just thought you should know."
She held his gaze. For a second, she thought she saw tears in his eyes, but he blinked and they were gone, so she wasn't sure if they had been there at all. "Why didn't you tell me before?"
"I couldn't. It hurt too much."
"What hurt so much that you couldn't tell me your girlfriend was pregnant and that's why you had to marry her?"
"Realizing…that…I could never…be with you." He stammered, his voice nearly a whisper. "That I had no more hope…that maybe someday…we could be more than just partners." His chest began to rise and fall rapidly as he struggled to keep his emotions at bay.
"You love me? Is that what you're saying?" She asked.
"Yes. That's what I'm saying. I just never told you because I thought you'd run and…I couldn't lose you." She looked away and for a moment, there was silence.
"I'm sorry." She heard him whisper as he stood. She couldn't look up at him and after a moment, he turned and headed back into the hall.
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She sat in her office a few months later, staring off into space. It was around midnight, but she felt no inclination to go home.
This was when she missed him the most. He used to find her here and make her go home. He'd stay if she wanted him to and never asked any questions. The ache that filled her chest would only get worse, she knew, as time passed tonight. As her longing for everything to go back to the way it was grew bigger and she could no longer fight the tears that would begin to run down her cheeks.
After his wedding, they both realized that they simply couldn't continue working together. They had broken each other's hearts and there was no turning back from that. They may wish that everything would return to normal, but it wouldn't. She had filled out the form requesting a new partner and he had been transferred into a different part of the homicide division. She never saw him anymore, but she still didn't know if this was a good or bad thing.
She heard footsteps echo through the empty lab and for a split second, she thought they were his. But she knew better and soon Angela walked into her office.
"Sweetie, you need to go home." Angela stood in her doorway, arms crossed over her chest.
She turned to look at her friend. "Today, we would have been partners for five years." She waited for the tears, but none came. Maybe she had finally cried herself out. "I miss him."
"I know, Bren. We all miss him." Angela stepped into her office and grabbed her things.
She stood slowly. "Five years is a long time, Ang."
"I know. Come on, I'll take you home." She followed her friend from the lab. Although she may have lost Booth, at least she still had Angela.