Note: This was inspired by two stories I read on this site a month or so ago and by the notion that Bianca's flashbacks seemed to be brushed aside a little.
Warning: This references the Michael Cambias rape and murder storylines and though not graphic it may make some readers uncomfortable, my apologies in advance if that is the case.
Disclaimer: AMC and the Minx ladies do not belong to me I'm merely borrowing them to feed my Minxaholic addiction
Nightmares
Wildwind is an old mansion steeped in Pine Valley history, memories clinging to its every room like dust upon its old unused furniture. In the dead of night while everyone else sleeps Bianca Montgomery walks the hallowed halls trying to let memories ease away the nightmare that had woke her.
Moonlight filters through the many windows in the grand ballroom falling down upon the white sheets that have been thrown haphazardly over the rounded settees. Bianca huddles upon a familiar seat drawing her knees beneath her chin and hugging them to her. This was the room in which her life had changed forever; where with her heart beating painfully in her chest and her eyes locked on her mother's she had declared to all the world that she was gay. Bianca could still see the pain in Erica's eyes, could still hear the collective gasps echoing around them and among all of the emotions that had swam through her mind the most prevalent had been freedom. It had been the first time since she'd left rehab that she could breathe without feeling like her chest was constricted.
Bianca's chest constricted now, the nightmare weighting down on her more than she wanted to admit. So much had happened in so short a time one heartache followed closely by another; coming to terms with Zach's death only to have Kendall hover close to deaths door ; battling a divorce with Reese only to end up in St Barts for a wedding that never was and enduring the worrisome days of Erica's kidnap only to be bound and locked up by Ricky Torres. And then the flashbacks.
Bianca sucked in a deep breath huddling her knees a little closer as her mind travelled back in time again to that night and the many painful ones that followed. Rape even the word itself made her shudder involuntarily; her body feeling again the oppressive soul shattering invasion. Michael Cambias had taken so much from her that night, the Kane strength that had helped her through her anorexia and emerging sexuality had cowered away leaving her helpless to the brutal attack. Bianca had carried around so much shame for that, shame and pain and despair.
Therapy had helped Bianca to come to terms with what had happened and the feelings it had caused. The shame had finally begun to dissolve only to resurface with her broken memories of the night she had taken a man's life. There was only one person in Pine Valley who didn't think that what Bianca had done was understandable, justifiable even, and that person was herself. Bianca closed her eyes and remembered putting her hand upon her extended stomach feeling Miranda's tiny form moving inside and the shame of her actions had hit her full on. Life no matter how despicable was not hers to take.
Bianca got to her feet and made her way back upstairs her tortured thoughts following her like shadows. The girls' bedroom door was ajar, she slipped into the room soundlessly and approached Miranda's bed. Her miracle child lay cocooned in sleep, her brown tresses spilling out along the pillow and mixing with the blonde of AJ's head. The sight brought tears to Bianca's eyes, the birthday twins asleep together not a thought or care in the world to disturb them. Bianca lightly swept brown locks away from AJ's face, the gentle touch making the sleeping boy smile. A rush of love flooded Bianca's heart and she bent her lips to his brow placing a feather light kiss there before doing the same to Miranda. The little girl's eyes flicked open staring straight into Bianca's.
"Love you mommy."
The sleepy tone threatened to cause tears to spill as Bianca smiled at her oldest child.
"Love you too my miracle."
Brown eyes closed and sleep reclaimed the little girl. Bianca turned from the bed and quietly approached Gabrielle. The youngest Montgomery was sprawled out like a star, arms and legs reaching for opposing corners of the bed, the duvet a forgotten element that threatened to warm the floor. With a gentleness borne of practice Bianca repositioned the duvet so that it was back on top of her sleeping baby rather than beneath her. Gabrielle did not stir, not even when her mother eased wet strands of hair from between her sleeping lips and kissed her forehead softly.
"Love you baby."
Bianca turned from the room not surprised to find Marissa standing in the doorway watching her.
"Nightmare?"
Bianca nodded at the quiet question her heart flooding again with a rush of love when the redhead held her arms out in invitation. The brunette stepped into them the fear and shame melting away, her body turning boneless as Marissa pulled her tight against her.
"I love you."
Three simple words whispered against the skin of Bianca's shoulder to reach deep inside her. They curled around her heart soothing over the scars the past had left, they swam down into her stomach waking butterflies that took to flight and they rushed up into her mind chasing away the shadows that had lurked there since she'd woken from her nightmare. Bianca pulled away enough to look into hazel eyes where she could see the love Marissa felt for her. Smiling lips closed the distance between them and kissed Bianca with a gentleness that promised to love her, to protect her and to always be there.
Bianca knew she would always have nightmares, that she would always feel shame for extinguishing a life but in that moment outside the room that held their future Bianca also knew that she would always have Marissa and a love that would light up even her darkest nights.