The anti-twilight poem
(Edwards's pov)
The sun is out today.
Outside I will shine
I may seem gay
But Jacob please be mine
(Bella's point of view)
Edward, Edward, Edward, Edward
I love u Edward
I dreamt of u Edward
Your pale skin reminded me of Colgate toothpaste Edward
I love you Edward
I haven't seen you for 2 HOURS Edward.
Where are u Edward?
I must find u….Edward
(Bella proceeds to drive to the Cullen's house like the obsessive bitch she is)
(Bella's pov at the Cullen's house)
I broke in through the window
I hope you don't mind but I really was shocked at what I did find
I saw Jacob giving you head
Then you started moaning and riding on top of the bed
So I drove home took a knife and made myself dead.
A/n: Tell me what you think. Bring on the flames they are inevitable at this point. But I want you all to know that I just hate twilight and Stephanie Meyer and half of the fans (you know those obsessive fans that worship twilight as if it were a religion and can't think of anything good about twilight but Edward, Edward, Edward. OMG they need to die, and that's saying a lot because there are some in my family. I know, I'm evil) I want to add more chapters. chapter two was going to be Jacobs point of view. Also you r all more than welcome to give me some suggestions for couples because i am trying to make this as funny and outragous as possible. but the one suggestion i will not take is to stop the story because i will tell the world what a homo edward was meant to be (come on the dude sparkles like a fairy if that doesn't scream gay then you have a problem)