Deadpool started whistling. "The pee pee song, I'm gonna sing the pee pee song." He sang.
The other two men at his side ignored him. Deadpool continued to pee happily.
"Hey, nice dick." He said after a while, commenting on the person to his left.
"Please shut up," the man said. Deadpool decided to go back to peeing.
"Ah… haven't drained the ol' lizard since I got here," Deadpool remarked, remembering only fighting bad guys and eating chimichangas for the whole time. "After tacos for breakfast and chimichangas for lunch, really fills your bladder, huh?"
The men beside him seemed disconcert but Deadpool really can't tell from the dim lighting. Like seriously, it's like peeing in those local Chinese bathrooms in the nighttime!
"Dude don't talk when I pee alright?" The man to his right said, obviously flustered by the superhero's scanty remarks. Deadpool acted like the man was talking to a wall.
Instead, he started whistling again.
"Ahhh, the water is cold. And deep." He said. Nobody asked why he meant deep. Dang, they're all so boring!
He cleared throat, eager to start another conversation.
"You know, I don't measure by length, I go by weight." He said.
"Uh…" Chopped liver looked like his tongue got cut off. Deadpool resisted the urge to pee in the man's mouth.
"Hey, blood in your pee is normal right?" He asked.
"Uh… I don't think so?" Chopped liver guy said.
Deadpool whistled nervously.
Awww, come on brain! Think of something funny, a dick joke or something! Anything! He racked his brain for any slip of dick joke that was in his head. Nothing came up.
"Curse you chopped liver!" He said out of nowhere.
"Um… who?" Some random guy said. He couldn't tell whether it was coming form his right or left. Literally, they're all so boring there's no way to tell them apart!
"Oh well, dick hair!" He yelled, stepping back. He pulled out his two guns and aimed it at the two men still peeing. Pressing on the trigger, he planted two bullets straight in the two men's head.
"Dick hair, take care! Get it?" Deadpool laughed. The two men laid there, unmoving.
"Aww, come on nobody's going to laugh?" He said.
Still no movement.
"Oh well, goodbye," Deadpool waved at the two corpses.
Just before he stepped out of the toilet, he remembered to zip his pants.
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