AN: Annnndd here's another songfic for Skyeward, except it's kind of sad and full of angst and I'm so mad at myself for writing this but I couldn't help it?
I own nothing and the song is 'I Miss You' by the Henningsens
They were still stuck in this motel. It was okay, not super dirty but still not fancy either. Not like their hotel in Dublin.
A streak of pain made its way through her heart with that thought. With a sigh she lifted herself up off the bed she had claimed in her and Jemma's room and made her way towards the door.
"Skye? Where are you-"
"I'm just going for a walk Jem, nothing to be worried about."
She didn't mean to snap at her friend, she just needed to clear her head.
She opened the room's heavy door and walked out into the hallway letting it swing shut behind her. She didn't have a specific destination in mind she just needed to move. If she sat there any longer looking at his picture she'd go crazy.
How did it come to this?
She left the Rising Tide after the Miles incident because she felt S.H.I.E.L.D. had a greater purpose. She felt needed and above all wanted even after betraying the team.
Her training sessions with Grant got more intense as time went on due to her motivation and if she looked hard enough she swore she saw pride in his eyes when she finally mastered a move.
She let out a scoff as she continued her slow walk through the corridor of the motel.
It's been made perfectly clear to her that what she thought and what actually was were two complete polar opposites. She thought S.H.I.E.L.D. was good. She thought Mike Peterson was a good guy. She thought she could trust everyone on the bus. She thought Grant cared—
No…stop.
She couldn't keep doing this to herself. It's been what a day and she's already starting to feel like a love sick girl after a break up? No. That was not Skye.
She lived on her own out of a van for Christ sake. She obviously didn't need anyone, especially some traitor.
I miss the simple conversations
The silence in the hallway was starting to bother her.
I miss the silence in between
I miss the board games.
That's okay. Missing things like playing board games is fine. He was a formidable foe, and she missed the challenge. It was that simple. It was okay for her to miss that.
I miss the clatter in the kitchen
So was missing the conversations over food he would make them in an attempt to make her eat healthier.
It always seemed to help me sleep
She'd been too wrapped up in her thoughts to notice the lone tear that had made its way down her cheeks. She stopped walking and wiped it away quickly, swallowing the lump in her throat.
Well. Maybe it was okay to miss a little bit more than that.
But most of all,
She began her walk again, although this time slower, running a hand along the wall as she went.
Who was she kidding?
Grant.
Well fuck.
I miss you.
The punching bag was his only option in his attempt to clear his thoughts.
He couldn't get her out of his head. All day and all night, her face in the cafe haunted him.
He was so busy before with the notion that she actually cared for him and was willing to go with him that he hadn't noticed how weird she had been acting.
I miss the way that you could move me
Those kisses though.
They had to be real right?
With just a corner of your smile
His punches became harder on the bag as his heart rate sped up.
She had told him he was a good man.
The gentle way that you could save me
They were quicker now.
She said she wanted it. Wanted them.
With just a want to in your eyes
He could feel the drop of sweat make its way down his forehead.
But most of all,
Blinding pain went through his fingers up his arm as he landed his last punch. He hadn't registered how hard he was punching the bag until now.
Steadying it with hands on both sides he rested his head against it.
I miss you
It was times he was alone like this that he missed her teasing the most. Who knew that one day he would do anything just to be hear her call him 'Robot' or 'Turbo'.
I miss the way you made me better
He remembered when she first started training. She didn't know how to even wrap her hands and it had become their ritual for him to wrap them himself before every practice. She would smile each time too as he gently caressed her hands, always running a thumb over the top of her hands as he finished.
I miss the touch that made me melt
Even when they weren't training she took his breath away.
I miss being wrapped up in you, baby
He wished he hadn't been so hard on her after her lying. He really was in no place to judge but he had to keep up the façade.
He wanted so much to reach out to her and tell her that he would always be there for her, but he knew it would be another lie on top of the stack already weighing him down. Even though he was hard on her though, she kept breaking his walls down piece by piece.
Instead of always wrapped up in myself
After the berserker staff in Dublin—
Fuck.
Of course he reminded himself of freaking Dublin.
He should have taken her hand at the bar. He should have told her everything—God knows he almost did. The look in her eyes as she sat adjacent to him almost was his undoing.
But most of all,
That's why he left so quickly and made up some excuse for a rain check. He wasn't even thinking about the mission to be honest. It was just to keep her safe.
Maybe if he had stayed with her that night, instead of the Cavalry, he would have been with her and not paired up with May the day she was shot.
He could have actually protected her.
I miss you
He squeezed his eyes shut tightly.
He leaned back away from the punching bag and with a deep breath let his arms fall to his sides.
Movement in the hallway outside the training room caught his attention as he watched Hydra soldiers in formation walk pass with guns at their sides surrounding a S.H.I.E.L.D. prisoner.
He felt his mouth fall into a frown as a feeling of sorrow filled his heart.
I know I drew a line in the sand that I can't cross back over
They were on opposite sides of the playing field now.
He knew Coulson would keep her safe, but it doesn't mean he didn't wish she was there with him. He didn't want her with Hydra or even Garrett for that matter. He just wanted her with him.
I know baby you'll be fine
In fact he wanted her as far away from Garrett as possible now that Raina had let him in on Skye's secret.
But if you don't mind,
He scoffed at himself.
Yet you tried to bring her right to the front door.
His heart broke when he tried to actually be honest with her and admitted his feelings were actually real only for her to reject him. He only wanted to make her see that he was trying.
I'll never recover
He had been trying for so long and had sacrificed too much in order to stop now but he knew if she would have asked him to, he would have given up everything at that moment just as long as he could feel her lips on his again.
Never recover
He knew he wasn't a good man, and had even tried to tell her as such. He had done things that he was not proud of on any sort of level.
I miss the simple conversations
Still though, he'd do anything to go back and just sit on the bus and listen to her ramble about whatever. Hell, he'd do anything to just sit in the same room with her at this point.
I miss the silence in between
Yet there was a glimmer of hope he had held on to ever since she saved him from his heart attack that maybe she didn't hate him. Maybe he'd have a chance to make her understand.
I miss that little bit of hope,
No…I don't deserve the chance.
You might be coming back to me
He grabbed his water bottle and towel and made his way to his room. The corridor was silent and he slowed his pace to a stroll as he ran his palm over the windows that ran the length of it.
But most of all,
The sun was setting in the distance.
Skye.
He would do anything to go back. To go back and fix himself by fixing this situation.
most of all
But he can't.
I miss you.
A/N: And there it is. I like doing song fics because I feel they give off the appropriate mood and emotion that I want it to, but if you don't like it don't read it I guess? Lol
Let me know whatcha think!