Watching
I watch him all the time. I don't think he realizes it – I would be surprised if he did. But I still do. I watch as he slowly falls into a deeper depression. I watch the light – that special spark – that used to dominate his eyes slowly go out. I watch as he buries my body – I see the secret tears that he thinks no one sees. I see him try to live the life I asked him to live. The life that involved that girl and her son. I see him get up in the morning, putting a smile – though fake – on his face, trying to act like I don't take up every second of his mind. I watch as he tries to forget about me…as he tries to forget that I ever existed. But I also watch…how on every clear starry night – on a perfect night – he goes to where it all happened – that horrible dirt road – and scream up to the heavens. I watch him snap, break, shatter, scream and beg but when the sun rises I see him get up, dust himself off and try and act like it never happened. I didn't want to leave – who would…who would want to leave the one they love – but I didn't really have much of a choice now did I? I watch it all. I watch how his life slowly starts to become a down ward spiral. I watch as every day it gets harder and harder for him to get up in the morning – to find a reason to live. And when he finally does break for good I'm there…watching. I watch as he collapses screaming that he gives up, that he can't do it anymore. I watch as he begs for forgiveness because he won't be able to keep the promise he made me. I watch it all happen and when he finely does give up I'm there to greet him. With open arm.
Because all this time…I never left him…I always there…just watching…waiting…waiting for the perfect moment for us to see each other again.