Well, I really don't know what to say about this. My first attempt at writing FMA (my obsession for the past couple months), and I come up with this angsty little thing. Oh well, what the plot bunnies want, the plot bunnies get (because frankly, my plot bunnies are vicious, and they scare the crap out of me)

So, yeah. No explanation can be given for this. My apologies.

The report had come in only the day before, it's envelope a crisp, stark white, the stamped address across the front a starkly contrasting red.

'Colonel Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist,

We regret to inform you that there has been a fatal accident in East City involving one of your subordinates, along with several other civilians.'

Oh god, he had thought. Oh god, please don't be talking about-

'At approximately 10 pm on the evening of Thursday, August 15, Major Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, was seen chasing another man- who we have now identified as the Stormfire Alchemist, wanted for crimes against the state- into a condemned building in the D Sector of the city, soon after having reportedly attacked him 5-10 minutes prior, resulting in the injury of several civilians.
Witnesses reported several flashes of alchemic light, as well as several explosions, coming from within the building. For approximately twenty minutes, the two men fought, the battle ending only when the building collapsed.'

No.

'Emergency response teams were at the scene as soon as possible, and began searching the wreckage once it was deemed safe.'

NO.

'In the past twenty four hours there has been no sign of any bodies, although an automail arm, believed to be that which belonged to the Fullmetal Alchemist, has been found. As of August 16, both parties involved in the collapse are presumed-'

Roy let the paper drift out of his hands, the final word imprinted in his brain.
Dead.
Edward Elric was dead.

His first though was how impossible that was. How could he be dead? Edward Elric couldn't just DIE, it went against every law of nature.
No, Edward wasn't dead.

He couldn't be dead.

*ONE WEEK LATER*

The funeral was quick. An official ceremony had already been held in both Central and East City. Roy had attended both, and had already seen many of Edward's friends from his travels as they mourned. But the small gathering of close friends and family in Risembool was probably the best. Ed would have liked it.
The Rockbells and Al had been adamant that the automail arm, the only part of Edward that had been found, be buried in Risembool, next to the boy's mother. Of course Roy had agreed. He understood better than anyone else in the military just how much Trisha Elric meant to her sons; it would have been wrong for Ed to be buried anywhere else.
As for the ceremony itself, it was quite brief. Several of the villagers had shown up to pay their last respects. Al spoke over the grave as the coffin was lowered, his words echoing through his armor. Even if he couldn't cry, his voice shuddered and hiccuped every few moments with unshed tears.
Winry had fixed the arm, and it was in perfect condition, wrapped in a swatch of bright red fabric, like his coat had been. The girl ignored Roy for most of the afternoon, only speaking to him briefly to thank him for returning Ed's arm.
The ceremony wasn't long. Before long, the villagers had left, followed by Pinako, then a reluctant Winry, who wiped her tear tracked cheeks as she turned away from the grave. Finally, Al left. Roy could tell he wanted to stay, but soon clouds started drifting above them, signaling the start of a storm soon. As much as he hated leaving, Al couldn't risk his blood seal being rinsed away by the rain; "Not after all Brother sacrificed." he had whispered before turning away.

But Roy stayed.

An hour passed, and still Roy stood there. The clouds, dark and swollen with rain, sat ominously overhead. And Roy just stood there.

Another hour. The clouds rumbled with thunder, but no rain fell.

One more hour, and it finally began to rain. It poured down from the skies, pounding relentlessly into the fresh-turned earth.

Just as he finally turned away, the first bolt of lightning flashed across the sky, illuminating the words engraved on the headstone:
' Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist
1899 - 1913
Loving Brother, son, and friend
"Even when our eyes are closed, there's a whole world out there that lives outside ourselves and our dreams." -Edward Elric ' (1)

And in that moment, three hours after the final words had been said, and the coffin buried, Roy finally broke down.

Because Ed's eyes were closed, forever. And the world went on.

He was gone. He was never coming back. He was fucking dead!

Roy collapsed to the ground, crying, sobbing, for the first time since that damn letter had come.

"Fullmetal, you fucking idiot!" he screamed to the sky. The storm drowned out his anguished cries.

"It wasn't supposed to happen like this! You were supposed to grow up, return your brother's body!" he beat the ground as his tears fell, mixing with the rain.
"What about Al? You left your brother behind, you idiot! How could you do that? You destroyed him!
"And Winry Rockbell. Remember her? She loved you, moron. What is she supposed to do?" his voice was raspy from screaming, his breath ragged.
"What about me?" he might as well say it. The thunder crashed above him, no one could hear. So he screamed it to the weeping heavens, almost as if calling to him would bring him back "Damn it Edward, I was supposed to protect you! I was supposed to crack a joke when you walked into my office, probably something about your height, and you were supposed to get pissed off and start ranting.
"You were supposed to throw your messy report on my desk, and I was going to say something about how sloppy it was, and that you should really put some more effort into your reports. And you'd just scoff at me, like it was the most ridiculous suggestion in the world.
"But no! You just had to run into the condemned building, didn't you? You just HAD to chase the guy in there and start a fight. What else is new?" The words came tumbling out, the wishes for the past, the questions that would forever go unanswered.

"News flash, Ed. You died. You're dead and buried." he gave a strangled, wry laugh. Roy buried his head in his hands, utterly defeated.
"I was supposed to protect you." he sobbed "I'm so sorry, Ed. I'm so sorry. I failed, oh god, I'm so sorry, I failed you. I should never had let you go after that freak. I should have known you'd chase him, I should have known you do something so stupid. This is all my fault, oh god Ed I'm so, SO sorry. Please forgive me, please, I'm sorry." he was stuck, stuck in this loop of apologizing to a headstone and begging for a dead man's forgiveness.

(1) The quote is from episode 48 of Brotherhood.

Poor Roy :'(

So, yeah. This is just a sample of some of the angsty sh*t that I come up with on a regular basis. No, seriously. I have tons of this crap on my iPod, waiting to be finished/published.

Now, how about a review? Because reviews make me happy, and happy Firefly means (possibly) happy (ish) fanfics (probably not)!

Come on, please? I'd like to know how I did, my writing can use all the help it can get!

Adios, people!