Disclaimer: I don't own Dean, Cas or Sam, nor am I affiliated with the CW TV network. I also do not own the song "Wanted" by Hunter Hayes. I have changed a few things in the song purely for the story, no disrespect meant.
A/N: This is my first Destiel fic; constructive criticism would be super appreciated. Let me know what you think. And yes I know this is a country song and yes I know Dean wouldn't be caught dead listening to something like this, but I heard the song the other day and I couldn't help this from being written.
2/4/13: I just edited this to fix all the typos that found while recently reading this. Nothing has changed.
Summary: Set after the end of "When the Levee Breaks" 4x21. Established Destiel. Based largely on the song "Wanted" by Hunter Hayes.
Dean was half way through his bottle of Jack, lying on the floor where had fallen after he stumbled through the door into the no name motel room he was staying in. Crawling over to lean against his bed he went to pull out his phone and ended up tipping over, sloshing the liquor on the front of his shirt and pants. Retrieving his phone and taking another long swallow from the bottle he managed to finally open it after a few failed attempts.
Fumbling over the small buttons on the phone, he fought through his drunken stupor to find Sam's name. Only upon finding it did it cross his alcohol riddled mind that Sam, his baby brother left him. Beat him and left him, all for Ruby.
Taking another gulp from the bottle, sloshing a generous amount across his front once again he began to slide down the end of the bed. Slouching there Dean began to cry body wrenching heartbroken sobs. He didn't hear the sound of wings flapping announcing the arrival of his boyfriend, Angel of the Lord, Castiel.
"Dean?" Castiel asked confused as to why Dean was lying slumped against the bed.
"Go away Cas." Dean slurred as he took another swig from the mostly empty bottle of Jack, "I'm fine Cas, I just need to be alone."
"You look far from alright Dean let me help you." Cas said kneeling down besides the hunter and gently tried to pry the bottle and phone from the drunken man.
"I said I'm fine Cas! Just leave me alone."
"I won't leave until you tell me what is wrong Dean." Cas answered stubbornly deciding that if he couldn't move his boyfriend he would sit beside him until he decided to talk or passed out whichever came first.
"Cas-"Dean started to argue but in his inebriated state it came out sounding less then convincing.
"I told you I'm not leaving so you may as well save your breath."
Dean didn't answer but handed Cas his phone.
"What do you want me to do with this Dean?" The angel asked puzzled unsure of what the jerky hand movement Dean was making was supposed to mean.
"Open the damn thing." Dean growled on the verge of another breakdown.
Opening the phone he didn't notice anything different from any other phone he had used since he had come to earth but scanned the screen anyway.
"What am I looking at Dean? This doesn't look any different to me."
"Contacts" Dean slurred listing heavily to his right where Cas was sitting.
"What?"
"Look at the contacts Cas, look at them."
Clicking the buttons he pulled up the contacts, and he still didn't see anything different.
"Dean I don't see anything special about your contacts, did you want me to call someone?" Cas asked looking over to see Dean nearly leaning on him.
Dean didn't answer him right away waiting for a couple of minutes before he replied as if to make sure he was picking the right words. "Everyone leaves me Cas because I can't do a damn thing right." Dean answered finishing the last of the liquor, throwing the bottle against the wall watching it shatter into a million pieces, just like his life had.
"I tried; I tried so damn hard for this family. I put up with the questions from Sam when we were kids, then the arguing between Dad and Sam as he grew up. Then they all left, Sam left for college, Dad left me for his damn quest for revenge and traded himself for me, Sam fights me and leaves me again. I don't understand what I did to deserve this." Dean stopped again taking a deep breath trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to explode, "Sure they tried to show me that they loved me but something changed in them, they were never the same after Dad lost Mom and Sam lost Jess. Dad and Sam they are more alike then I think either one of them would want to admit, but they loved each other. Something nobody ever felt towards me sure they tried to make me feel like they needed me but it was never the same as what they felt towards each other." Dean finished as the tears he had been holding back finally fell from his bloodshot emerald eyes.
Cas leaned back against the bed and closed his eyes, his heart breaking. How had he let it get this far it was his job to make sure Dean knew he was loved, that he loved him.
The angel took his left arm and gently pulled Dean the rest of the way down so he was wrapped in the angel's arm and snuggled against his muscular chest. "Dean, I love you. I'm sorry I haven't being doing a good enough job showing you." Cas replied looking down at Dean who was staring half lidded at the wall across the room, tears silently slipping from his eyes.
Kissing the top of Dean's head, "Come on let's get you in bed."
Realizing Dean wouldn't be any help, Cas wrapped one arm around his lover's knees and the other around his back lifting him as if he was a small child and settled him gently on the bed. Taking off Dean's boots and setting them at the foot of the bed he wrapped the quilt around the drunken hunter. Looking him over one more time, he went to turn off the light and get Dean a glass of water. Turning to leave the room Cas heard Dean whimper something but couldn't make out what was being said.
"What did you say Dean?" Cas whispered sitting on the side of the bed and settled a hand on Dean's hip.
"Are you gonna leave me too?" Dean whispered.
Stunned that Dean would think that it took him a moment to reply. "Dean I will never leave you, not in a million years. I love you and I will do whatever it takes to show you that. Soon your brother will realize that too you just need to have faith." Cas answered forgetting the glass of water and went to settle himself on the bed besides Dean pulling him into his arms.
"Cas he chose a demon, a damn demon, over me. He doesn't give two shits about me anymore, never has." Dean slurred on the edge of passing out.
"I guess it's just you and me then." Cas answered trying to squeeze into Dean's stubborn, alcohol filled mind that somebody does love him and won't leave him.
The two sat in the dark motel room for awhile with only the street light streaming in through the smudged window to shine in the room. It had been quiet for awhile nothing from Dean or Cas just the relaxing calm that Cas's grace was projecting towards Dean.
In a soft sweet timbre Cas began to sing what he was feeling hoping that Dean would understand.
You know I'd fall apart without you
I don't know how you do what you do
'Cause everything that don't make sense about me
It makes sense when I'm with you
Like everything that's green, I need you
But it's more than one and one makes two
So put aside the math and the logic of it
You gotta know you're wanted too
I wanna wrap you up
Wanna kiss your lips
I wanna make you feel wanted
I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
And never let you forget it
Yeah I, wanna make you feel wanted
Anyone can tell you you're pretty
(Yeah)
And you get that all the time, I know you do
But your beauty's deeper than the makeup
And I wanna show you what I see tonight
When I wrap you up
When I kiss your lips
I wanna make you feel wanted
I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
And never let you forget it
'Cause Baby I, wanna make you feel wanted
As good as you make me feel
I wanna make you feel better
Better than your fairy tales
Better than your best dreams
You're more than everything I need
You're all I ever wanted
All I ever wanted
And I just wanna wrap you up
Wanna kiss your lips
I wanna make you feel wanted
And I wanna call you mine
Wanna hold your hand forever
And never let you forget it
Yeah I, wanna make you feel wanted
Baby I, wanna make you feel wanted
'Cause you'll always be wanted
As the angel finished the song he leaned back against the headboard pulling Dean along with him. Looking down Cas saw that at some point the hunter had fallen asleep.
"No matter what you are going through Dean, I will always love you and nothing will ever change that. I'll never let you forget you not as long as I'm alive." Cas whispered into the soft blonde hair that was resting under his chin.
"Good night Dean, sweet dreams" Cas whispered and got comfortable for the long night that lay ahead of him.
A/N: So what do you think? Don't forget to review.