Chapter 1
For the second evening that week she sat in her car on Pinewood Lane. The first evening she had seen them pull into their driveway and get out of the car together. The man had dark, greying hair and was dressed in a suit and tie. The woman, whose hair was a strawberry blonde, was also dressed as if coming from work. She could hear them talking as they walked toward the house, the woman laughing at something he said. The man rests his hand on her shoulder as she unlocks the door. Then they were gone, inside the house. This evening though, the house has been dark and quiet. At last she sighs and pulls away from the curb, the tail lights being swallowed up by the darkness.
Hours later Margo is lying on the guest room bed across the hall from her and Tom's room. Beside her, the little girl mumbles in her sleep. Putting her arm protectively around her, Margo thinks of all that has transpired this long evening...
Margo had been finally heading home after a long evening at work. Tom had already called her to say he'd keep her dinner warm and would wait up for her. Thinking of going home to her husband, she pressed the accelerator a little harder. She thought about how lucky she was to have such a wonderful man waiting for her at the end of the day. Her thoughts of Tom were soon interupted by the ringing of her cell phone.
"Hughes."
"Lieutenant, sorry to bother you, but there's a situation over at the Wagon Wheel. A woman was found shot in a room there about 10 minutes ago. Somehow there's a little kid involved too, I don't have all the details. There's officers and paramedics arriving on the scene now, but I thought you'd want to know."
"Yeah, thanks. I'm on my way." With a heavy sigh, Margo turns the car around and reluctantly calls Tom.
Margo rushed into the motel room to see several uniforms already there and a young woman lying unconscious on the floor. She
was surrounded by paramedics.
"Forensics is on the way Lieutenant. No sign of the perp though."
"Ok, seal off the- " Margo stopped short when she heard a child's scream coming from the bathroom.
She ran into the bathroom to find a uniform standing by the sink. Then, next to the tub, she saw a little girl huddled on the floor. The girl, Margo guessed, was about 4 or 5 years old. She was holding her knees against her chest, rocking herself and crying. Her long, dark hair was covering her face. Margo looked at the uniform. "What's going on?"
"When we got here she was locked in here. We forced the door open and she was there- just like this," he gestured toward the girl on the floor. "She won't talk- just cries. Everytime I get any closer to her, she screams."
Margo put her purse down on the floor. "Ok," she motioned for him to leave.
When the uniform left, Margo sat on the floor, not getting any closer to the girl, who was crying more quietly now but with her face still hidden.
"Honey, I'm a police officer. My name is Margo. I want to help you. I won't hurt you," she said quietly.
When there was no response, she continued soothingly, "Baby, I know something really scary happened here tonight. But you're safe now. I won't let anyone hurt you. I promise."
After a few seconds the girl slowly lifted her tear-stained face and tenatively looked at Margo with big, blue eyes.
As the girl's gaze met Margo's, she felt as if her heart was going to break. As a cop, Margo had seen her share of kids in tragic situations and had always had great empathy for them. But there was something about this little girl that triggered such strong feelings in her- feelings she couldn't even identify just then.
"What's your name?" she asked the girl.
The girl seemed to hesitate for a few moments, as if contemplating whether to trust this woman.
"Hannah. And I want my mama." She whispered.
"I know you do Hannah. And I know you must be so scared and confused right now. Can I sit by you?"
Hannah nodded her head slightly.
Margo took this as a yes and slid over slowly to sit beside the girl.
Hannah looked up at Margo as she settled next to her. "He hurt Mama," she hiccupped.
"Who hurt your mama?"
"My daddy."
"Does your daddy hurt your mama a lot?"
"I think so."
"Baby, can you tell me what happened tonight?"
"He banged on the door 'til it opened. Mama made me come in here and lock the door. Then they yelled a lot. Mama screamed. And there was a bang." Hannah started to cry again.
"You must have been so frightened," Margo tenatively put her arm around the girl who was crying harder again.
Surprising Margo, the girl crawled into her lap, her little body racked with sobs. Margo thought her heart was going to pound out of her chest as she held Hannah. She laid her head on top of Hannah's as she rocked her and tried not to cry herself. She couldn't explain this connection she felt to this little girl and the strong feelings it elicited.
For Tom, it had also been a very long night. He'd been disappointed when Margo called and told him she would be home even later because of the shooting. He'd started to worry a little after 2 hours went by, and he hadn't heard from her again. He was just about to try her cell when the phone rang. It had been Margo asking him to come to the station. Tom had heard in her voice that something was wrong.
Chapter 2
When he got to the station, Tom was told Margo was in her office. Opening her door, he saw her sitting at her desk, and in her arms was a little girl who appeared to be sleeping.
Margo put her finger to her lips, "Shhh...she just fell asleep".
Tom quietly closed the door behind him and sat in a chair next to Margo's desk. He kept his voice low, "Honey, you wanna tell me what's going on here?"
"Her name's Hannah. They found her in the motel bathroom. Apparently she was in there when her mother was shot. She was terrified, Tom. She wouldn't let anyone near her...she was inconsolable. I was able to sit by her and talk to her though. Eventually she talked to me and even let me hold her."
"Is her mom...?"
"No, she's in critical condition at Memorial. Apparently she's in surgery. They don't know if she'll make it," Margo said quietly.
"Honey, why is she here? I mean why doesn't child services have her?"
"Tom, she screamed when they tried to take her from me. There was no i.d. found for her mom, and she can't seem to tell us what their last name is or anything other than her own name.."
Tom thought for a moment, not liking the direction he thinks this conversation is heading, "So where are they going to place her?"
Margo took a deep breath, "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. There's a social worker trying to get through all the red tape so we can take her home with us... temporarily that is."
"Margo, sweetie, come on. You know darn well you can't take home every parentless child you come across!"
Margo tried to keep her voice even, "Tom, I've been a cop for a long time. I'm very well aware of that."
"Then why are we having this conversation? I'm sure there are plently of foster homes they could place her in for now," Tom said gently.
Margo looked Tom in the eyes, "Look, I don't expect you to understand right now, and I don't really understand it myself. But when I looked at this child's face for the first time, something in me just...just kinda gave way. And when she sat in my lap it was a like a tidal wave of all these intense feelings just washed over me. And when anyone else tried to hold her or even get near her, she just screamed and cried."
Tom got up and sat on the edge of the desk, right in front of his wife. "Margo, are you sure these feelings aren't just from missing Adam and Casey...or Danny? You know, missing having a little kid around? Or just your maternal instinct kicking into overdrive?"
"No," Margo shook her head. "No, they're not Tom. I told you I can't really explain it, and I don't really understand it myself. I feel a bond with her somehow. And it's not just because I miss our boys or anything like that. I want her to come home with us...until we know what's going to happen with her mom. Just for a few days. Please Tom."
Tom knew his wife could be very impulsive. It was one of the many things he loved about her, but it could also be extrememly frustrating to someone like Tom, who liked to think through every aspect of things before making any decisions. He also knew his wife had a big heart and that she was obviously shaken by the events of the evening. When Tom heard Margo's impassioned plea and saw the tears welling in her eyes, he knew he'd concede. "Ok, if child services can work through all the red tape, I guess a few days at our house won't hurt."
At that moment Hannah sleepily lifted her head and looked at Tom. Still feeling secure in Margo's arms, she sighed and went back to sleep.
When the little girl peered briefly at Tom, he couldn't explain it either, but there was something oddly familiar in those eyes.
It had taken hours to get all the paperwork to go through. Hannah had slept in Margo's arms the whole time. When they got home, just before three in the morning, Margo had carried her straight to the guest room to tuck her in. Tom lay in bed waiting for his wife. When 20 minutes went by, and Tom could hardly keep his eyes open any longer, he got up to check on his wife and the child. Standing at the guest room door, he saw Hannah tucked in under the covers, her dark brown, wavy hair spread out on the pillow. Margo was sound asleep beside her, with her arm protectively over the child. Sighing, Tom picked up the quilt off the end of the bed and covered Margo before kissing her tenderly on the cheek. He took a step back and watched his wife and Hannah sleeping so peacefully after the chaotic events of that night. He thought of all that had happened to his family over the last year and how things can just change in an instant.
Chapter 3
The last few days have been a whirlwind of emotion for Margo. She had taken the week off, something she hasn't done in a very long time. On the first morning that she woke up in the guest room next to a still sleeping Hannah, she was disoriented for a split second. But then the events of the previous night came rushing back to her. When Hannah stirred in her sleep, Margo could feel her heart ache for the little girl and the tears well up in her eyes.
Margo had spent her days with Hannah- playing with her, reading to her, holding her, and reassuring her. Hannah's mother had made it through the surgery but had not regained consciousness yet, the prognosis was questionable. When Hannah would ask about her mom, Margo tried to be as honest as possible without scaring her more. Nancy, Lisa, and Kim all stopped by to meet Hannah on the first day. Lisa even showed up with bags of new clothes and toys for her. Hannah was shy around the other women, but she let them near her and even played a few games with them. On Hannah's third day in the Hughes' house, Margo took advantage of her playing Candyland with Nancy in order to start some laundry. As she reached in the pocket of Hannah's little jeans, she felt a crumpled up slip of paper. Pulling the paper out, she started to throw it away but then changed her mind when she saw writing on it. Smoothing the paper out, she read it. What she saw made her gasp.
Tom had spent the past couple days going back and forth between work and home. Hannah had warmed up to him, letting him read to her and play games with her, but it was obvious she felt most comfortable with Margo. Hannah was fearful around men and wouldn't let Tom hug her or even get too near at times. He was a little worried about the strong attachment his wife and Hannah seemed to have formed. The future for Hannah was uncertain at best, and he knew Margo would be heartbroken when she had to leave their home. Tom was also starting to worry about the toll this could have on the physical health of his wife. When Hannah woke with nightmares calling for her mother several times the last couple nights, it was only Margo she allowed to comfort her. He knew Margo had not gotten more than a few hours sleep in a few days and that her health could suffer with too many more sleepless nights.
And if Tom was really honest with himself, he had to admit that his wife was not the only one forming an attachment to the little girl. He found himself growing more and more fond of Hannah. He looked forward to coming home from work at the end of the day to find Margo and her laughing together in front of the TV or out in the backyard playing. The sound of Hannah's laughter echoing through the house filled his heart with joy. And to hear Margo laugh like that again, after everything their family has gone through this past year, was enough to bring tears of happiness to Tom's eyes.
On the third evening Tom comes home after a late meeting. He thinks maybe tonight will be the night Hannah will let him hug her goodnight. All the lights in house are on when he arrives.
"Margo?" he calls. "Honey, I'm home."
When he is greeted by silence, he heads up the stairs, "Sweetie? Where are you?" Tom knows she has to be home- her car is in the driveway and her purse and cell phone were sitting on the kitchen table.
As Tom checks the upstairs rooms and still doesn't find any sign of Margo or Hannah, his anxiety begins to mount. He can't explain it, but he has a feeling something bad may have happened to them.
Holding back the panic he is beginning to feel, he runs back downstairs, through the open backdoor, and out into the backyard searching for his wife. As he paces on the deck, he pulls out his cell and begins to call neighbors and family to see if they know where she may be.
Ten minutes and several phone calls later, he is still no closer to knowing where Margo and Hannah are. The anxious feeling he had has taken root and is growing exponentially now.
Tom makes one more call. "Hey, Jack? This is Tom. You haven't heard from Margo have you?"
"I haven't seen or talked to Margo in several days, Tom."
"Jack...I think something's wrong. I came home a little while ago and there's no sign of her or Hannah. Her car and her purse are here. I've called everyone I can think of, and no one has seen or heard from her since earlier today."
"Calm down, Tom. There's gotta be an explanation."
Tom fights to keep his voice calm, "You don't understand. Margo wouldn't go anywhere with Hannah without leaving me a note or calling me. Besides, where would she be without her car or purse? And the backdoor was left open, she would've locked it if she left. Jack, I'm telling you something is wrong...I can just feel it!"
Jack sighes, "Ok, I admit it is a little strange. I'll be right over with a couple uniforms."
While Tom waits for Jack and the uniforms to search the house and yard, he paces around the family room fighting the growing panic he feels. "Margo, come on honey. Where'd you two go?" he whispers to himself.
After what seems like ages to Tom, Jack comes back inside. He and the uniforms had searched the house, and then the yard, patio, and driveway.
Tom looks up anxiously at Jack.
"Tom, I don't think you're going to like this, but we found traces of blood leading from the backyard and around to the driveway. We're sending a sample in to be analyzed, and the officers are talking to your neighbors right now. We also have someone checking the hospitals."
Tom grabs the back of the kitchen chair. He feels as if the room is spinning and he can't get enough air.
Jack reaches for Tom's arm, "Hey, it doesn't necessarily mean anything. It could just be from a dog or cat or something."
Tom looks at Jack, "Yeah, or it could be from my wife or that little girl."
Tom decides to follow Jack back to the station. He goes to Margo's office and sits in her chair. Picking up a picture of them off of her desk, he traces the outline of her jaw with his finger, "Sweetie, come on," he begs the image of his wife, "come in here and tell me you and Hannah just decided to take a long walk or something. Tell me how I'm overreacting and that you and Hannah are just fine...please honey."
Just then there is a knock at the door, startling Tom. He looks up to see Jack enter the office. By the look on Jack's face, he can tell Margo isn't going to come waltzing into the office telling him he's a worrywart. "What is it, Jack?" he forces himself to ask, not wanting to hear the answer.
Jack walks closer to the desk, "There's no one fitting Margo's or Hannah's description at any of the hospitals we checked, and the neighbors said they didn't see or hear anything unusual- in fact most weren't even home earlier in the day ."
Tom can tell Jack is holding back, "The blood?" he asks quietly.
Jack sighs, "The lab confirmed that the blood is human...and it matches Margo's bloodtype."
Margo slowly wakes and becomes aware of an intense pounding in her head. She reaches up to hold her head and feels something warm. When she pulls her hand away she can see blood on her hands. She tries to sit up, but a wave of nausea and dizziness sends her back down to the floor.
"Tom," she calls, her voice barely above a whisper.
She tries to sit up again. She is aware of a sharp pain in her wrist and another blinding pain in her head. She realizes that she is freezing and alone in a dim room before losing consciousness again.
Chapter 4
Two mornings later, a frantic Tom is pacing the house. He had gotten almost no sleep the past two days, trying to figure out what might have happened to his wife, hoping the phone would ring and it would be her. An amber alert had been issued for Hannah. The police had searched the house and the yard again, but there were still no leads. When he hears the paper hit the front steps, he goes to retrieve it. As he carries the paper back to the kitchen, a small slip of paper falls out. Tom unfolds the slip of paper:
1030 Front Street
1:00 pm today
If you ever want to see your wife alive again, come ALONE.
Tom spends the remainder of the morning trying to decide what to do. Eventually he decides he has no choice other than to go alone. He knows if he mentions the note to Jack, he'll insist Tom have back up. Tom knows he can't risk involving the police. If anything happened to Margo or Hannah he'd never forgive himself.
Margo wakes to find herself still alone in the darkened room. She has no idea how long she has been out of it, and vaguely remembers waking a few times, only to lose consciousness again. She tries to focus her eyes enough to look around the room. The only light is being shed from a dim lightbulb and a very small, dirty window near the ceiling. There are a few crates and plastic containers stacked around the room and nothing else. Her head is still pounding and every muscle and bone in her body aches intensely. She manages to pull herself to a sitting position, despite the pain in her wrist. Shivering and dizzy, she wonders where she is and how long she's been there. The last thing she can remember is playing in the backyard with Hannah. She prays Hannah is ok.
Just then she hears the door being unlocked. She is shocked to see James enter.
"I see you're finally awake. Sorry I had to be so rough with you the other night, you really put up a fight. Not that I'd expect anything less from you."
"Margo struggles to remember anything and can't. Where's Hannah?" Margo demands, feeling her whole body shaking.
"Easy now, I assure you the girl is fine."
"Where am I? Why'd you take us?" Margo tries to get up, but the room begins to spin and she falls back to the floor.
"You'll get answers. All in due time though. First we have to wait for your beloved husband to get here. Hopefully he won't do anything stupid like involve the police," James smirks.
"Tom...," Margo moans. She feels as if the room is spinning around her and everything fades to darkness again.
Tom arrives at the given address. It is an old warehouse in a deserted area outside of town. He hesitantly opens the door and slips inside. As soon as the door closes behind him, he can feel the barrel of a gun being pushed into his back.
"Welcome Tom, " James says from behind him, " I see you've come alone. I knew you were a sensible guy." James pats down Tom, taking his cell phone from him, but finds nothing else worth confiscating.
Recognizing James' voice, a shiver runs through Tom. "Where's Margo and Hannah. I swear...if you've hurt them, I'll-"
"You'll what, Tom? I don't think you're in position to be making threats," James taunts.
"Dammit James, where are they?" Tom says through clenched teeth.
"The girl is with me...don't worry she's just fine. Your wife however, she proved just as feisty as ever. She put up quite a fight, but I was able to sedate her. She got roughed up pretty good in the process though..."
Tom feels sick to his stomach. "What do you want with us?"
"You'll find out...all in due time."
"Take me to see Margo. I need to see her," Tom demands frantically.
"Ok, ok," James laughs leading Tom to a small room off to the side.
Unlocking the door, he shoves Tom inside, almost knocking him off his feet. He then quickly closes the door and locks it again.
As Tom's eyes adjust to the dim light, he can see Margo lying on her side facing the wall on the other end of the small room.
"Margo!", he rushes over to her, "Honey, are you ok?". He slowly turns her over and realizes she is unconscious.
Her face is bruised with a deep gash on her forehead. There's dried blood on her face and hands. He can also see her wrist is swollen.
"Oh God! Margo, it's me. It's Tom. Baby, please open your eyes."
Margo begins to moan. She can hear Tom's voice and feel his touch. She thinks she is dreaming at first. Slowly she opens her eyes and tries to push herself to sitting again.
"Take it easy, sweetie," Tom gingerly takes her in his arms, cradling her. He can feel her shivering. He kisses her forehead and smoothes her hair. Her skin feels hot to the touch. "I was so worried about you. You're burning up honey."
"I'm so cold, Tom," she whispers.
"I know, baby. I'll keep you warm," Tom replies, holding her a little closer.
"It's James... James has us. I don't know what he's done with Hannah. Oh God, Tom, if he's done anything to hurt her..."
"He said she's fine. James has done some awful things, but I don't think he'd intentionally hurt a child. Look, as soon as we find out what he wants, we'll figure out a way to find her and get all of us out of here."
Tom looks down to see Margo's eyes closing, "Just sleep now, honey. I'll take care of you."
Tom spends the rest of the day watching over Margo. James had appeared briefly one more time and granted them a thin blanket and some water. Tom covers Margo and is able to wake her enough to take a few sips from the water bottle. She sleeps the rest of the day with her head in Tom's lap. Moaning off and on, she periodically calls Tom's name and Hannah's name. It seems to Tom that her skin has grown even hotter as the day goes on. He wonders if the gash on her head is infected. He worries that the drug James had given her may have hurt her liver. And he knows she needs her antirejection medication. As Tom runs his fingers through Margo's hair and tries to figure out what James could want with them and how they'll get out of there, she begins to stir again.
Margo slowly opens her eyes again, afraid that maybe Tom's presence really was just a dream. As she looks up and feels Tom's tender touch on her cheek, she knows he really is there. With Tom's help, Margo manages to slowly sit up and drink some more water. As she starts to shiver again, Tom puts his arm around her and pulls her close, kissing the top of her head.
"Tom, there's something I didn't have a chance to tell you...about Hannah," she says weakly.
"What is it, honey?"
"Yesterday I was checking the pockets of her jeans before I put them in the washing machine. And I found a crumpled piece of paper. Tom, the paper had our name and address written on it."
Tom looks down at Margo, "What?"
Margo continues, "It said Tom and Margo Hughes 724 Pinewood Lane Oakdale. I asked Hannah about it, she said her mom had put it in there when her father was banging on the motel room door."
Tom thinks a moment, "Why would her mom have our name and address?"
"I don't know, Tom. But I'd sure like to find out why-"
Margo is interrupted by James letting himself back into the room. Tom pulls Margo a little closer.
"Ah, Margo, I see your husband has made some use of himself. You're looking a little better than earlier." James sneers.
"What do you want James? Enough games." Tom demands.
"Well aren't we getting a bit demanding?" James answers. "But I guess this is as good a time as any to fill you in on a few little details."
"We're listening," Margo says as she tries to keep herself from shaking.
James continues, "Well you see it all started long, long ago."
Chapter 5
James walks over and sits on one of the crates, toying with his gun. "Remember that night I found Margo after she fell in the catacombs?"
Tom snaps, "Of course we remember, we lost our baby that night!"
"Actually that baby is very much alive," James retorts with an amused look.
"That's not possible. They told us at the hospital the baby didn't make it," Margo says quietly.
"My, my for a lawyer and a police detective, you two are pretty stupid. Did you ever SEE the baby?"
"No, we didn't see the baby. The doctors told us it would be too painful," Tom is almost yelling now.
"Yes, well...with enough money and the right kind of pressure applied, that doctor would have told you anything."
"No, James, no," Margo whimpers.
Tom feels his anger mounting, "Why should we believe a word you say?"
"Why would I lie about it? Don't you two fools think I have better things to do than hang out here in Oakdale and make up stories for you?" James laughs.
Margo's head is still pounding and she feels tears running down her face. She can't explain it, but she knows James is telling the truth. "What did you do with our baby?" she asks desperately, afraid to hear the answer.
"Well," continues James laughing, "that's the funny part. You see I took her. I decided you two had taken enough from me, and I wanted revenge. I took her and raised her as my own...as a Stenbeck."
"You bastard!" Tom screams.
James raises his gun, "Be careful, Tom."
"Anyway, back to the baby I stole from you," James says with a laugh. "Her name's Megan, Megan Stenbeck. I told her she was adopted- that I once knew her parents and they didn't want her. I sent her to the finest boarding schools, made sure she had everything she ever wanted."
Tom can feel the bile rising in his throat as James talks but doesn't trust himself to speak.
"The ironic thing is," James chuckles, "when she was a teenager and began to find out about some of my, shall we say, dealings, she wanted nothing to do with me. Just like a Hughes, always following the rules..doing the right thing. She started to ask questions about who her parents were...started snooping around. I could see that she wasn't going to be loyal to me...that she would be of no use to me. So I told her. I gave her your name and told her she can do what she wants, but that you didn't want her then and probably don't now. The next day she was gone, took off with some miserable boyfriend she had latched onto."
Tom takes a deep breath telling himself to be calm. He can feel Margo shaking against him, "Why are you here now? What's Hannah have to do with all this?"
James shakes his head, "Man, you are slow. Hannah is my granddaughter. Well, technically she's your granddaughter," he laughs as if this were all a big joke. "I found out recently through some of my contacts that Megan had had Hannah with that loser boyfriend. My contact told me that he was abusive to Megan and she had recently left him. I was also told Megan had been in Oakdale for the last few weeks. I summized she must have finally decided to contact you."
Tom seethes, "Megan was shot, probably by her boyfriend. She's in the hospital. That's how we found Hannah. What do you want with Hannah anyway?"
"Well, you see, I figured since Megan turned out to be such a disappointment, I would see if Hannah was any better. Maybe the Hughes blood doesn't flow quite as strong in her. I plan on leaving town with her soon. I thought about just taking her and leaving without telling you anything, but she was never out of your wife's sight. Besides, this is so much more fun- seeing the looks on your faces. It really makes it all worth it. You two can hang out here untill someone finds you...well if someone finds you."
He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a used candle and a matchbook. "I noticed earlier the lightbulb in here burned out. Here, I found this lying around," he tosses the candle and matchbook on the floor in front of them, "maybe you two can enjoy a little romance tonight." With a laugh he leaves, locking the door behind him.
Tom and Margo are left clinging to eachother in the darkness. The enormity of what they just learned has rendered them speechless.
Finally Tom finds his voice again. "This is unbelievable!" Tom seethes. "I swear, I'll kill him!"
Margo continues to shake, "Oh my God. Our baby. Our baby's alive. And she may be...oh God she may be dying or dead by now. We may never know her."
"I know," Tom whispers.
Margo starts to cry harder, "How could he do this? We missed everything with her. We thought she was dead, Tom! Oh God, she thinks we didn't want her!"
Margo becomes racked with sobs.
Tom holds her tightly, crying himself now, "I know. I know, sweetie," is all he can manage to say.
They continue to hold eachother while they cry, trying to come to terms with the magnitude of what they just learned.
After a while, Tom notices Margo is still shivering. He pulls her close again and brings her head onto his lap. As he strokes her cheek, he is once more alarmed at how hot her skin feels.
"Tom?"
"Yeah babe?"
"We gotta get Hannah and get out of here. We can't let James take our granddaughter away too." Margo has trouble fighting the fatigue she still feels and her eyes begin to close again.
"We will. We will, honey. Just sleep for a little bit. We'll think of something," Tom soothes.
Tom is exhausted himself but knows he can't afford to sleep. He has to think of some way to get them out of here. He carefully lays Margo's head on the floor and begins to get up to see how secure the door feels and if he can reach the small window. Realizing it has grown quite dark in the room, he reaches out and grabs the matchbook. He lights the candle and places it on the floor near them before going to investigate.
Margo begins to dream. She dreams of long ago when she found out she had lost the baby. She's lying in the hospital bed with Tom holding her hand, and they're both crying.
"I'm so sorry Tom. I'm so sorry," she sobs.
"Don't be sorry, honey. I just thank God you're all right."
"But we both wanted it so much."
"Don't sweetie," Tom lays his head against her shoulder. "Don't."
"Oh God," Margo whispers.
The anguish of losing their child washes a new over her- an emotional pain so intense she cries out in her sleep.
Tom, interrupted from his exploration of their confines, rushes over to kneel beside her. He knows she is having a bad dream. "Shh sweetie...it's ok. I'm right here," he tries to reassure her as he smoothes her hair.
Tom is startled when James bursts through the door half dragging Hannah, who looks physically fine but is crying.
Margo stirs again in her sleep, waking with a jolt when James lets the door slam behind them.
"We wouldn't want to leave without saying goodbye first," James taunts.
Margo, sitting up slowly, sees that James has Hannah. The dream she had feels as if it happened just yesterday. As the events of the last hour or so come flooding back to her, she is filled with a hatred of James and all he has done to her family that is more intense than any other hatred she has ever known. Even more intense than the hate she felt toward Nevins and Fickett after she was raped. Before she knows it, and despite her fatigue and the pain she's in, she finds herself lunging at James.
James is startled when Margo suddenly tries to attack him. He quickly raises his gun and shoots, hitting her shoulder. Hannah breaks free of James and runs toward Margo.
As Margo falls, and James is momentarliy distracted, Tom takes the opportunity to tackle him. He throws James to the ground and tries to pry the gun out of his hand. During the scuffle several crates are knocked over and some of the plastic containers turn over, spilling their contents onto the floor. As a heavy crate falls onto James, knocking him unconscious, Tom's foot accidently kicks the candle knocking it over. Before Tom has time to even grab the gun off the floor, there are flames everywhere. He quickly realizes from the smell that the substance that was spilled onto the floor must be kerosene. Who knew what the other crates and containers contained?
"We gotta get out of here! Tom runs to Margo and Hannah. He pulls Margo off the floor and scoops Hannah into his arms. Carrying Hannah and half dragging Margo, he runs out of the room and from the building just as they hear a loud explosion behind them.
Chapter 6
Tom watches Margo sleep. He brushes back a piece of hair that has fallen in her face, running his fingers along the edge of the bandage that now covers the cut on her forehead. Tom knows that he, Margo, and Hannah were lucky to make it out of the burning building alive last night. Luckily help had come quickly, despite Tom not having his cell phone. Tom had ridden in the ambulance with Margo, Hannah sitting rigidly on his lap. She had been shaken up by the whole ordeal and Tom had to continually reassure her that Margo would be ok. He hoped desperately this was the truth. Tom thinks how happy Hannah had been when they got to the hospital and she was able to visit her mom, who had surprised everyone and was now conscious and recovering.
Margo, on the other hand, was not doing well at all. They had been able to set her broken wrist, give her antibiotics for the infected cut on her forehead, and even remove the bullet in her shoulder without much trouble. But shortly before midnight, she had taken a turn for the worse. She had woken up with severe pain in her right side and was disoriented. Tom had held her and tried to comfort her while the doctors put a rush on the results of her liver function tests that had been done earlier. While they waited, he cradled Margo in his arms and slowly rocked her. At times she didn't seem to realize Tom was even there. She had called repeatedly for Hannah, begging James not to take her. Tom, who was becoming increasingly panicked about her condition, tried his best to reassure her that Hannah was safe. When the doctor returned with the test results, Tom could see by his face that the news was not good.
"Mr. Hughes, I'm sorry to tell you that the reults of Margo's tests indicate she is in acute liver failure- her body is rejecting her liver. It's probably a result of not having her antirejection meds and the heavy sedative she was given- it was a real cocktail of drugs from what we can tell. We're putting her back on the transplant list, but to be honest, she doesn't have much time to wait."
Tom felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room. He looked at Margo to see if she understood what the doctor had just said. He knew right away she hadn't even heard because she had lost consciousness.
As Tom continues to watch her sleep, he prays that somehow Margo will make it through this. He had asked the doctor about using a live donor again. The doctor had said it was a viable possiblity, but they knew from before no one in the family was a match except Katie. And Katie donating again was apparently not an option.
Tom also wants to meet his daughter. He had been waiting to see Megan until Margo could go with him. Now with Margo's present condition, that has all changed. He doesn't want to leave his wife, even for a second, but knows he needs to alteast see Megan. He also has a desperate hope, that he doesn't want to admit even to himself , that Megan is a match and would help Margo. He tries to push back this hope that, despite his silent protests, has taken root in his heart and is growing. But it is like trying to push back a wave in the ocean.
As Tom looks at Margo's monitors praying quietly for guidance and for some sign she's improving, there is a knock at the door. Tom turns to see Bob, who had been filled in on everything earlier, standing there holding Hannah's hand.
"Sorry to interrupt son, but there's a little girl here who has been begging to see you guys. I told her Margo was sick and that she's sleeping- so only for a few minutes."
Tom stands up and forces a smile on his face, "Hey Hannah. You were so brave. I'm so proud of you."
Hannah hesitantly walks closer to Margo's bed, standing near Tom. She looks at Margo. "Is Margo going to be ok?"
Tom doesn't want to lie to Hannah, but he doesn't want to scare her either. "Margo is really sick and she needs an operation to make her better."
Hannah walks a little closer to the bed. "Why doesn't she wake up?"
"Because her body is really tired and she needs the rest. Hey! I heard your mom is better."
The attempt to change the subject seems to work. "She may get to go home today. I told her all about you and Margo and how you took care of me. I told her she'll love you 'cause I do."
As hard as Tom tries he can't stop the tears from coming. "We love you too Hannah", he says in a shaky voice.
Hannah, realizing Tom is sad, reaches out to him and takes his hand in her's. "Don't cry, Margo will get better," she tells him. And for the first time she lets Tom hug her.
Chapter 7
After visiting Tom and Margo, Lisa had come to take Hannah shopping. "A girl's day," she had called over her shoulder as she and Hannah waved goodbye to Tom and Bob.
"How are you doing?" Bob asks his son.
"Not too good, Dad. Not too good," Tom answers embracing his dad.
"I know you're going through so much right now, Tom."
"Dad, I have to meet Megan. I was hoping Margo and I could meet her together for the first time... but now," Tom shakes his head. "I'm so scared, Dad. I'm terrified she hates us. James told her we didn't want her. And Margo...she's running out of time. And I thought maybe...," Tom can't bring himself to finish.
Bob looks Tom in the eye, "Son, are you hoping that maybe Megan...," he lets his voice trail off, leaving the idea hanging in the air.
Tom knows exactly what his dad is referring to. "Oh God Dad. I'm so ashamed to even think of asking Megan to help Margo like that. I mean what am I supposed to say, 'Hey Megan, gee I'm really sorry you grew up under the care of a madman because you thought your mom and I abandoned you. But, hey, why don't you think about risking your own life to save the mom's you never even met?' Tom hangs his head.
Bob reaches out and puts a hand on his son's shoulder.
Tom looks at his dad with fresh tears in his eyes. "I feel so damn helpless, Dad. I'm desperate. If Margo doesn't make it..." Tom lowers his head again, trying to hold back the tears and unable to even verbalize the thought any further.
"Son, why don't you just go meet her and see what happens. Just take it from there. I'll stay right here with Margo until you get back. If there's any change at all, I'll call you right away."
Tom thinks for a few seconds and then, sighing and wiping his eyes, walks over to Margo's bed. He looks at her for a second, all the tubes and wires she's attached to bring back memories of the last time she was in the hospital. A fresh wave of helplessness and fear washes over him. He carefully sits next to her on the bed and holds her hand in his. "Sweetie, I'm going to go for just a little while. I swear I'll be right back. Dad is going to stay right here with you. I'm gonna find a way to make you better. I promise." He chokes back a sob and bends down to gently kiss Margo's lips. "I'll be right back," he whispers again. Then wiping the tears from his face, he walks from the room.
As he approaches the door to Megan's room he can see it is open. Hesistantly he walks closer to stand in the doorway. Megan, who is sitting in bed, looks up to see him. Tom can't help but gasp as he looks at his daughter for the first time. She has long, wavy dark hair- a lot like his- but her face is a spitting image of Margo's. She has the same sapphire blue eyes, the same cheek bones, the same nose and mouth. Tears fill his eyes and he wants to run over and hug her but forces himself to be patient.
Tom takes a step forward as Megan just stares at him. He sees from her expression that she knows who he is, but both are afraid to speak- not knowing what to say.
Finally Tom, barely trusting his voice, forces himself to speak. "Please, Megan, please believe your mom and I loved you and wanted you more than anything."
Megan studies Tom for a second more, then says quietly, "James...he told me that he knew my parents and they didn't want me. He always said he did me a favor by taking me and I owed my life and my loyalty to him."
Tom's eyes fill with tears, "No Megan," he shakes his head, "Margo was with James when she fell. She had you early at the hospital, and they told us you didn't make it. My God, we thought our baby was dead!" Tom is crying now. "We wanted you so much! We were completely devastated. Oh God, I just can't believe you're here now."
Finding herself on the verge of tears as well, Megan says, "I want to believe you. But my whole life I've been told otherwise...made to feel like love only comes with conidtions...strings attached. I...I hated myself for a long time."
"Megan, we would do anything...anything to go back and change things. I'm so sorry you had to grow up that way."
Megan thinks for a moment, "Most of my life was spent in boarding schools. Even on holidays, I would usually go home with friends. I'd watch them with their parents and wonder what was wrong with me that made my parents give me up. Sometimes James would come to visit. He'd take me skiing or something and talk to me about how I was growing up and owed him my loyalty. I guess as I got older there was a part of me that knew James might be lying about my parents. Eventually I found out what kind of man he was and it scared me and sickened me. He told me I was a huge disappointment to him," she pauses a few seconds, contemplating something. "I think that's why when Michael, Hannah's dad, came along and paid attention to me and said he loved me, I believed him. Even though he would hit me, I still thought he loved me and that somehow I deserved it."
Tom feels a deep anger, first at Michael for hurting his daughter, and then at himself for not being there to protect her. "I'm so incredibly sorry I wasn't there to help you, but Megan, no one deserves that."
"I know that now," Megan continues, "but at the time I just wanted to find out who my real parents were and why they left me. And I wanted to get away from James. Oh God, there were so many times growing up, I just wanted a mother...my mother. That's why when he finally gave me your names, I left with Michael. I intended to find you, but the abuse got worse...and then I got pregnant with Hannah."
Tom is almost afraid to ask, "Did he ever-"
"No! He never laid a hand on Hannah," Megan says before he can finish. "A few weeks ago though he really laid into me and Hannah saw it. That's when I left. I came to Oakdale because I had already learned this is where you lived. I found your house...I watched you come home from work one night."
"Why didn't you come to us as soon as you got to Oakdale?"
"I guess I was afraid to approach you...just in case what James said about you not wanting me was true. And then the other night...when Michael found us...I put the paper with your name in Hannah's pocket and had her lock herself in the bathroom. I knew Michael had been drinking and was furious, and I was scared what he might do."
"And that's when he broke in and shot you." Tom finishes. "Margo found Hannah crying in the bathroom. They kinda formed a bond and she came home with us for a few days."
"I know, Hannah told me all about it. She really loves Margo- and you too. She felt safe with you guys. And thanks so much for getting her back from James. I don't know what I would have done if he'd left with her."
"She's a great kid. We were happy to have her."
"We'll have to explain this to her somehow." Megan says.
"Yeah, we will," Tom concurs. "Together we'll figure something out to help her understand."
Megan hesitates then asks, "Where is Margo?" She had wanted to ask earlier but had been afraid Tom would tell her Margo didn't want to see her.
"Margo is really, really sick." Tom tells Megan briefly about Margo contracting HCV from the rape and having the live donor transplant a few years ago. "Now, her body is rejecting her liver...and she's dying," Tom finishes in a whisper.
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Isn't there anything they can do?"
"She's on the waiting list for a transplant, but it could take months or more, and they say she only has days...or if we can find a match, she can get piece of liver from a live donor again."
"What's she like...Margo...my mom...tell me about her."
Tom goes to stand by the window, looking out at the afternoon sky that has now clouded over. How could he tell Megan about Margo? Where would he even begin to describe the woman he has loved more than anything for almost half his life? The woman he shares children with, a home with, almost a lifetime worth of memories with. The woman who has seen him at his worst and still loves him. The woman he wakes up next to every morning. The woman whose eyes he can get lost in. The woman he knows he couldn't bear to live without. His best friend, his lover, his soulmate. How does he even begin to put these things into words?
Tom sighs and turns to look at Megan, "You look just like her," he says quietly. "Same blue eyes, same nose, same mouth- only her hair has never been as dark as yours- more red. She's absolutely beautiful, except she doesn't know it. And when she smiles...when she smiles it lights up her whole face. She's a detective, actually she's chief of detectives now. She's tough- practically fearless at times- but there is still a vulnerablity there that she doesn't like to let many people see. She's a great mom. She can't cook at all, but she can make anything grow in our garden. She can be infuriatingly impulsive, but she keeps me from getting too serious. She likes sunflowers, chocolate peanutbutter brownies, detective novels, and these pink fuzzy slippers that she's had forever but will never get rid of. She has a big heart that's so full of love. She felt so guilty when we thought we had lost you. She blamed herself. The grief was overwhelming. She wanted you so much, Megan. You have to believe that. Your mom and I have been through so much together. If I lose her now...I don't know what I'll do," Tom finishes.
Tom looks up at his daughter to see she is quietly crying. He is struck by how much she has endured in her life yet how vulnerable she looks right now. Recognizing that look, he realizes it is the same vulnerability he sees under the tough exterior of his wife. He is overwhelmed by a feeling of wanting to protect his daughter. He couldn't be there for her when she was growing up or when Michael hurt her, and he feels a desperate need to protect her now. Tom knows right then and there that he cannot ever ask her to risk her life- even for Margo. And he also knows Margo would refuse to let her. It was hard enough for them when it was Katie, who Tom has known since the day she was born and loves like his own sister. He can't even begin to contemplate a life without Margo, but at the same time he realizes he loves his new-found daughter deeply as well. How could he even think of risking one life for another?
A long forgotten memory suddenly comes back to Tom. He was at the beach as a kid. He was standing waist high in the water, holding his dad's hand. Seemingly out of nowhere, a big wave appeared. A wall of water that towered over him for just an instant. Before Tom had time to even think, it had crashed down on him, knocking him off his feet and wrenching his hand from his dad's. Tom can remember the roaring sound of the water rushing over him. He can remember how helpless he felt as his body was thrown around like a ragdoll in the current. He can remember how he started to panic when he couldn't tell which direction was up and which was down. And then, just as he felt his lungs were going to burst, it was over. Just as quickly as it started, the roaring was gone, his body was still, and he felt his dad's hand pulling him back to his feet.
Tom realizes he feels as if he's been knocked down by that powerful wave again. He feels so utterly helpless at the realization of all the things in his life that are beyond his control right now-his daughter's childhood being stolen from them, Casey's imprisonment, and especially Margo's illness. Except this time, the water won't stop rushing over him and no one is there to grab his hand and pull him to his feet.
He goes over to Megan, who looks up with tears in her eyes. He slowly leans down to give her a kiss on the forehead, "I love you so much. I've got to get back to Margo." He turns and walks quickly out of the room and back to his wife.
Chapter 8
Later that day, there is still no change in Margo. Tom has sat with her while she drifts in and out of consciousness. Her fever has risen again. As Tom gently wipes her face with a luke warm washcloth, he thinks of his conversation with Megan earlier. He hopes she really does believe him about them wanting her. As Margo moans in her sleep, he thinks she may never have a chance to meet their daughter. He feels as if his heart is breaking into a million pieces.
As the afternoon wears on, Bob and John both beg Tom to go get some rest. Tom refuses to leave Margo's side. After a while though, he can't keep his eyes open any longer. Holding Margo's hand, his head falls forward until it is resting on her shoulder.
Tom begins to dream. He dreams of himself and Margo walking on a beach hand in hand. The sun is shining overhead, and there's a warm breeze blowing through their hair. Tom can feel the wet sand beneath his feet. They stop walking and turn to face eachother. Tom cups her face in his hands.
"Sweetie, I love you so much."
Margo gently holds his wrists. "I love you too, baby. Tom, you have to make things right with Megan. Make her understand what really happened. And please be there for Hannah and the boys too."
"We'll make her understand together. We'll both be there for Hannah."
"No Tom. We can't. I have to go now. Tell all the kids I love them."
As Margo speaks the wind picks up and a dense fog rolls in obscuring the sun. "Honey, please don't leave me," Tom begs.
"I'm so sorry," Margo says tearfully as she backs away from Tom.
Tom reaches out for her and tries to grab hold of her. But it is like trying to grab hold of the wind. He quickly begins to lose sight of Margo in the dense fog. He tries to run after her but finds his feet are stuck in the sand. Before he knows it, her image has been completely swallowed up by the fog. Tom cries desperately, "Margo, no! Please don't leave me! I need you! No!" His voice is lost in the wind.
After Megan signs her discharge papers, she goes to Margo's room. She tentatively stands in the doorway watching her father and mother sleep. She takes a few steps into the room in order to see her mother better. Even with Margo's eyes closed, Megan can still see the striking resemblance between them. It seems unreal to her, that after all these years, here she is in the same room with her parents. And after her meeting with Tom, she knows for certain now that James was lying to her about them not wanting her.
As if sensing her presence, Tom opens his eyes and lifts his head to see Megan standing at the foot of the bed. He recalls the dream he had and has to struggle to keep his composure in front of his daughter.
"They're letting me go today... I wanted to see Margo." Megan walks toward the bed looking at her mother. As Tom stands back to make room for her, she reaches down to take Margo's hand.
At Megan's touch, her eyes slowly open. From where he stands, Tom can see a look of clarity and complete understanding in his wife's eyes.
Megan is shocked when Margo's eyes open. Looking into her mother's eyes is almost like looking into a mirrior. Megan can't help but let out a sob.
"Hey, baby," Margo soothes, her voice weak, "I love you so much, Megan. I'm so sorry. Please believe that."
Megan, crying freely now, bends down to gingerly hug her mother.
Tom watches as Margo weakly puts her arm around Megan and holds her daughter for the first time. It terrifies him to think it could also be the last.
They stay like that until Margo's eyes close and her arm slowly falls away. Megan sits up, her face streaked with tears. She turns to her father. "I want to help her," she sobs. "I want to be her donor- if I match."
Tom feels torn again- torn between wanting to save his wife and fear for his daughter's life. Taking a deep breath he walks over to Megan and takes her hands in his. "Thank you. Thank you so much, honey. But you can't. I won't allow it and your mother wouldn't allow it. It's too dangerous. There is no way we'll let you risk your life."
"But I want to! It's so unfair! We've missed out on so much. We just met and now she's dying. I have to do something!"
"I know. I know it's all so unfair. And we all feel so helpless right now. But there are serious risks to being a donor- you have a daughter to think about. And you're recovering from a gun shot wound. Besides, there's no gaurantee you're even a match."
"Well let's at least find out if I'm a match!"
Tom can see Megan has definitely inherited some of Margo's stubborness and impulsivity- and also her big heart, "Look, I can't stop you from being tested. But, I'm serious Megan, we won't allow it, even if you are a match."
As Megan begins to protest again, Bob comes rushing into the room out of breath.
Tom and Megan turn to look at him in surprise.
"You won't believe it!" Bob smiles. "A cadaver liver became available and because of Margo's condition she's going to receive it."
The rest of the day and night for Tom is a blur of forms being signed, nurses running around to get Margo ready and up to the OR, and waiting. Like last time, the waiting is the worst. Hannah is able to stay with Gram as the remainder of the family paces the waiting room. Eventually Tom sits by Megan and takes her hand. They sit hand in hand, each trying to gather strength from the other's presence. It is the longest night of their lives.
Chapter 9
Early the next morning, Tom is sitting by Margo's bed holding her hand as she sleeps. As the first rays of sunlight stream through the window, Tom can see that Margo's skin has regained a much healthier looking color. He remembers how late last night he had watched his dad come down the hall from the OR toward the waiting room. As Bob came closer to him, Tom felt as if everything was suddenly going in slow motion. Thinking about it now, all Tom can remember is his dad telling him that the surgeon said Margo made it through the surgery with no complications. The next thing he knew, he had broken down and was crying tears of relief in his dad's arms. When his tears finally subsided, he had turned to look at Megan. She was sitting quietly with tears rolling down her cheeks. Tom had sat down next to her. Taking her face in his hands, he had wiped her tears away with his thumbs, marveling once more at how much she looked like Margo. Tom was afraid if he tried to speak he would start crying all over again. But it was Megan who broke the silence.
"She's gonna be ok?" She asked in a shaky voice. "My...my mom's really going to be ok." This time it was a statement.
"Yeah, thank God." Was all Tom could manage to say before gathering his daughter in his arms.
Margo begins to stir and mumble in her sleep bringing Tom back to the present. "Tom...Tom?"
"I'm right here baby," he answers squeezing her hand.
Margo opens her eyes.
"You did great. They say you're going to be good as new after a lot of rest."
"Tom?"
"Yeah, sweetie?"
"Did I imagine it, or did I meet our daughter?" she asks tenatively.
Tom smiles tenderly at Margo and caresses her cheek with the back of his hand. "No, it was real. She was here and she wanted to give part of her liver to you."
"Oh...wow. I hope you told her no way though."
"More or less, that's what I said. Although, she's proving to be about as stubborn as you."
"I guess she doesn't hate us too much then."
"No, honey. I had a long talk with her. She understands."
"Thank God. I want to see her again, Tom." Margo says trying to suppress a yawn.
"You will, you will. Just rest first."
"Tom, I want to see her. I'm not tired. I'm not...I'm not..."
Tom smiles as Margo falls asleep in midsentence. "Sure, sweetie, you're not tired at all," he laughs. "And you're just as stubborn as your daughter seems to be," he adds quietly.
Yawning as well, Tom sits in the chair next to the bed and leans forward to lay his head by Margo. Running his fingertips up and down her arm, he falls asleep and begins to dream.
He and Margo are at the beach again, but the fog is gone and the sun sparkles on the ocean. This time they are wading in the water. Tom looks down to see the frothy water swirling around their ankles. Margo takes his hand and begins to lead him out toward where the waves are breaking. Tom stiffens, remembering the feeling of being knocked down and thrown about when he was a kid. When he feels her gently tug on his arm, he follows, despite his fear.
"You know if you time it right you can dive right through them?" Margo says pointing at the breakers as they continue to wade out, up to their waists now.
A big wave heads toward them, the top just beginning to spill over, white and bubbly. Tom can feel his anxiety mounting as the wave approaches, but he stands his ground.
When the wave gets right in front of them, Margo yells, "Now!"
Hand in hand they dive head first through the wave. Tom expects to hear the roaring over his head and feel his body being bounced around on the ocean floor again. Instead, all he hears is Margo's laughter as his feet find the sandy bottom, and they stand up together, still holding hands.
The next time Margo opens her eyes, it is early evening and Tom's still right by her side, but he is asleep with his head on her bed next to her arm. She runs her fingers through his hair.
Tom sits up to see his wife is awake.
Margo, wincing, begins to try to sit up.
Putting a hand out to stop her from moving any further, Tom eases her back down onto the pillow. "What are you doing, sweetie?"
"Tom, no, I don't want to waste anymore time. We've missed too much with her already."
"I know, Margo." Tom says patiently. "That's why just a little longer won't hurt. You're not going anywhere until your doctor says you can."
"Bully," she states defiantly but with a small smile. She reluctantly settles back onto her pillow, trying not to let Tom see how much pain she is in.
"That's my girl," Tom brushes his lips against hers.
Margo reaches out to hold the back of Tom's head, bringing his lips to hers again.
Tom cups her cheek as their kiss deepens.
They are interrupted by the sound of a throat being cleared from the doorway.
Tom looks up to see his dad. "To be continued later," he whispers to Margo.
"Sorry to interrupt but I thought you two might want to know that there is an adorable little girl and her mother who are begging to see you."
Just then, Hannah pops out from behind Bob and runs over to Tom and Margo giggling. Tom lifts her up onto the bed and places her very carefully next to Margo's left side. Hannah cuddles up next to Margo, who is able to slowly put her good arm around the child.
"Margo, I'm so happy you're ok!" Hannah exclaims. "And look, my mama is better too! "
Margo looks up to see Megan standing at the foot of her bed. She tentatively motions for Megan to come over. Megan walks around and gingerly sits on the other side of her. "I'm so glad you're ok. I was so scared."
"I'm gonna be just fine now," Margo says as she takes her daughter's hand carefully in her injured one.
As Hannah lays her head against Margo's shoulder, Megan smiles, her face lighting up.
Taking a step back, Tom looks at the three of them. 'My girl's,' he thinks to himself and laughs.
They look at him. "What?" Margo asks.
"I was just thinking...my girls...," Tom says it aloud this time, loving the way it sounds.
Margo smiles back at him, her whole face lighting up just the way Megan's had a couple seconds ago, "Yeah, we're your girls."
Chapter 10
Tom is standing in his robe in the living room among discarded boxes and wrapping paper. It is late in the evening and the house is quiet, the only light is being shed from the white lights of the Christmas tree. He looks at an ornament that they have given to Hannah this year. He thinks about how their lives have changed so dramatically over the past few months. Margo and Megan had both recovered fully. Michael was caught and plead guilty to all charges. Megan and Hannah had moved in with them. Hannah had readliy accepted Tom and Margo as her grandparents. She had started kindegarten and was thriving. Tom, after discovering Megan had an interest in law, had given her a job at his law office while she also attended pre-law classes. Casey had been released and returned home a few weeks before Thanksgiving. He was having a rough time, but he seemed to take the news of his older sister and neice in stride. In fact, he and Megan had become quite close. Tom is glad that he has Megan to talk to when he can't talk to him or Margo. And Adam and Danny are both home for Christmas. Their house, that had been so quiet since the boys left, is now filled with family and laughter again.
There have been times the past few months when Tom can feel an anger welling up in him. An anger, like an insidious weed, that threatens to take over his heart. Sometimes he feels it during important occasions like Hannah's birthday. As she blew out her six candles, everyone clapped and cheered. On the outside Tom was smiling and laughing, but inside, he could feel the anger growing. Anger at James for all the birthdays and other milestones he and Margo missed with Megan.
And sometimes it's the little, everyday things- like watching the girls in the garden. Margo was showing them how to plant bulbs and all three were laughing- three almost identical smiles on their dirt-streaked faces. Tom watched them with amusement and love, but soon he realized that the anger is simmering again- just underneath the surface. An anger for all James has stolen from them. For all they can never get back.
Tom knows though that if he isn't careful, the anger will grow. It'll grow and spread until, like a weed choking out the flowers, it overtakes all the feelings of love and joy he has everytime Megan and Hannah are around. If he lets the anger transcend the love and the joy, than James has won. And he isn't about to let James take anything else from him or his family. So Tom talks. He talks to Margo, the only other person who truly understands. They've spent many nights lying in bed facing eachother, their noses only inches apart, talking- sometimes crying but mostly just talking. The more he and Margo talk and are honest about their feelings, the less power the anger has.
Just as he reaches up to straighten an ornament on the tree, he feels Margo's arms slide around his waist from behind. As she kisses the back of his neck, he can feel goosebumps form. Turning around to face her, he slides his arms around her. "Sweetie, I think this may be the best Christmas ever."
"I think you're right, baby." She says as she takes his hand and leads him to the couch. Lying back and resting her head against the couch's arm, she puts her feet up, pulling Tom down next to her.
Tom lies down next to Margo. Putting his head on her chest, he settles into her arms. "A lot has happened since last Christmas."
"Yeah, it sure has," Margo says while holding him closer and running a hand through his hair.
Tom shifts to look up at Margo. "I love you so much," he whispers before kissing her passionately.
"I know. I love you too, more than you'll ever know," she says, her breathing growing heavy.
As they continue to kiss, Margo begins to loosen his robe. Slipping her hands inside, she runs her fingers along his chest.
Tom moans quietly at the feel of her hands on his skin. He slides his leg between hers and begins to unbotton her pajama top.
After a few bottons are undone, Margo grabs his hand. "Babe, we can't do this here," she whispers breathlessly.
Tom stops and then looks into her eyes a moment before kissing her deeply one more time. "I guess that's the only downfall of having a full house again. No more making love wherever and whenever we feel like it," he says resting his head on her shoulder.
"Yeah...but that's a small price to pay to have our family all together."
Tom looks up at Margo. He kisses her nose and smiles in agreement.
With the same idea in mind, they get up and head for the privacy of their bedroom. As they climb the stairs Margo stops a step above Tom and turns to reach out and cup his cheek. "You know my darling, life is pretty good."
Tom smiles remembering this exchange from long ago, "Pretty good? What're you talking about? It's damn near perfect."
After one more tender kiss, they head the rest of the way up the stairs hand in hand.
Later that night, Tom is woken from a deep sleep by Hannah's frightened cries. Quietly he gets out bed, careful to avoid waking Margo, and rushes to Hannah's room. When Hannah was having nightmares almost every night, and Margo and Megan were still recovering, it was Tom that went to her. Now the nightmares come far less frequently. But when they do, it is still Tom that goes to her most nights. And it is Tom she wants. Entering her room, Tom goes quickly to her bed and gathers his grandaughter in his arms.
"Shhhh...It's ok sweetie. It was just a bad dream. I'm here now."
She quiets at the sounds of his voice and the feel of his arms around her.
Looking at Tom she says sleepily, "Sing me the song...please."
Tom knows exactly what song she's wanting. It is the song he sings to her every night when he tucks her into bed.
Laying her gently back on the pillow and tucking the covers snuggly around her, Tom watches her fight to keep her eyes open. Looking at his granddaughter now, he knows for certain that there is no longer room in his heart for the hate and the anger about the past, only the deep love he feels for his family and the hope he has for their future. With a small smile on his face, he starts to sing:
The forests of April awaken from sleep,
and flowers unfold through the snow,
and the wind rushes high, and the river runs deep,
and it sings what you already know.
You already know.
Evermore I will love you.
Evermore I will stay ever right here to hold you.
Never so far away.
And though I know sometimes you go to find your way alone,
evermore I will love you.
You are ever my own.
Though nothing is certain as seasons and time,
though nothing will be as before,
still everywhere and always it's certain that I'm
with you forever, evermore.
Evermore I will love you.
Evermore I will stay ever right here to hold you.
Never so far away.
And though I know sometimes you go to find your way alone,
evermore I will love you.
You are ever my own.
Forever
and evermore.
(lyrics-Sandra Boynton, Dog Train, 2005)
Chapter 10 (Margo's point of view)
Margo stands by Hannah's bed, watching her sleep. Sometimes in the evenings when the house is quiet, she feels compelled to make sure the past few months weren't really a dream. So she goes to Hannah's room, as if to make sure she is really there and not just some figment of her imagination. As she watches her granddaughter sleeping peacefully, her chest rising and falling with each breath, Margo thinks how much their lives have changed over the past few months.
Although she is better now, her recovery from the surgery had been much harder than last time, forcing her to stay in bed and rest much of the time. Hannah loved to cuddle up next to Margo and entertain her with tales of school and her new friends. And Megan had come to keep her company when she wasn't in class or working at Tom's office. They would sit together on Margo's bed and talk. Margo would tell Megan all about the family and their lives in Oakdale, and Megan would tell Margo what her life growing up with James was like. Even though it was painful, each detail like a knife poking at her heart, Margo wanted Megan to tell her all about her past. Usually they would talk until Margo could no longer keep her eyes open, often falling asleep in mid-conversation. When Margo would wake again, Tom would usually be there, cuddled next to her, just watching over her.
Despite all the joy and the laughter that having Megan and Hannah enter their lives has brought, sometimes Margo still feels a deep sense of longing and despair wash over her. An agonizing need to be able to turn back the clock and do things differently that night in the catacombs. And a mourning for all the milestones she's missed with Megan. She and Tom talk, but sometimes these feelings are so intense that she can hardly breath much less verbalize them. She feels then as if she is being buried under all the guilt.
One night recently the guilt and the longing to change the past were so strong, she couldn't sleep. She had gotten up and stared out the bedroom window replaying in her head a conversation she had with Megan earlier in the day.
"Honey? What's wrong?"
Margo jumped at the sound of Tom's voice. She continued to look out the window. "I'm ok, baby. Everything's ok. Go back to sleep. Sorry I woke you."
"Margo please talk to me. Don't shut me out," Tom pleaded.
Margo turned around to see Tom sitting on the edge of their bed looking at her with concern in his hazel eyes. She went over and sat by him. "It's...it's just Megan told me today...I mean I asked her to tell me... about how at the end of the school year she was always the last one to go home. She said she would watch all day with envy as the other girls' parents would greet them with hugs and kisses. And then, laughing they would load their suitcases into their cars and drive off. Megan said she was always left standing alone at the end of day until James' driver would finally show up to take her home. There were no hugs or kisses or laughter for her."
Tom looked at Margo, "That's awful," is all he could manage to say. He thought for a moment more then asked, "Sweetie, why do you have Megan tell you these things? I mean, I know it hurts you to hear them."
"I just have to know, Tom. I just have to know what it was like. Oh God, even though knowing hurts so much." Margo struggled to hold back fresh tears.
Tom took her hands in his. He looked into her eyes and said carefully, "I just wonder sometimes...and please don't take this the wrong way...if you want to hear these things in order to punish yourself."
Margo knew in her heart that Tom was right. She knew there was a part a her that felt desperately guilty for what happened the night Megan was born and for all she endured growing up. Margo knew it wasn't rational, but there was a part of her that felt like if she could just feel the same pain that Megan did, then it might atone for her not being there for her daughter.
"We should have been there for her Tom. She never should have even been at that school. She never should have been with James. I never should have gone into the catacombs that night. So, yeah, God help me, I guess I do need to hear all the painful details of Megan's life. Each time it's like a stab to my heart, but I need to hear them," Margo cried, her tears falling freely now.
Without saying a word, Tom gathered Margo in his arms and held her until her tears finally subsided. When she eventually pulled away and looked into his eyes, she saw such a deep love there. "I love you so much, Tom," she said in a voice shaky with emotion.
In response, Tom cupped her cheek and gently brushed his thumb over her lips before kissing her tenderly.
"Honey, we could drive ourselves crazy with all the should of's, could of's, and would of's. But the bottom line is, sweetie, it was not your fault. What happened to you in the catacombs was an accident. And our baby was taken by an evil man." Tom wiped her remaining tears with the back of his hand. "Sweetie, it's ok to talk about the painful parts of the past, but I'm learning that if we let it consume us, until there is no more joy in the present, then James has won. And I'll be damned if that man is going to take anything else from my family."
As Margo stands now, watching Hannah sleep so peacefully, she knows Tom was right. She has also begun to realize that slowly but surely they are building their own memories. Hannah and Megan have added so much happiness to their lives, and she has so much love for her family. She vows to herself that there is no way she'll let James rob her of that too.
Margo kisses Hannah's cheek and smoothes her hair, before heading back to her bedroom. She stands by the bed and watches Tom sleeping for a moment. She knows he's been dealing with his own guilt and his own anger, yet he has been there for her every step of the way. She loves observing the close bond that has grown between her husband and Hannah. When she sees them together, playing catch in the backyard or just snuggling on the couch watching "Cinderella" for the fiftieth time, it fills her heart with so much joy and love.
As she carefully climbs back into bed, trying not to wake Tom, she thinks how thankful she is for her husband. As she lays her head on the pillow, Tom turns over and snuggles up to her. He kisses her shoulder before laying his head on her chest, holding her close to him.
Margo feels so secure in his embrace. She holds him with one arm, running her fingertips up and down his bare back with the other.
"Where'd you go, sweetie?" he asks sleepily.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you, babe. I was just checking on Hannah." Margo says as she kisses his forehead.
"Everything ok?" Tom asks nuzzling her neck and holding her tighter.
"Yeah, everything is great." And Margo knows she means it. Lying here in the arms of the man she loves more than anything in the world, all the worry, all the regret, and all the guilt just vanish. She knows without a doubt that everything will be ok.
