Seattle was just like Carly remembered; it had been four years since she left... Four long years since she'd been home. She pulled out her phone and texted her dad, who was still in Italy, to let him know she'd arrived. She'd just graduated college, studying to be a teacher, and had decided to come home instead of staying in Italy.
Her first stop was Freddie's old apartment but no one answered so she knocked on Spencer's door, hoping he still lived in 8-C of Bushwell Plaza. The door swung open and her older brother, his hair back down to his shoulder, answered. He didn't looks as cheerful as he had four years ago, but she supposed a lot could happen in that amount of time.
"Hey Spencer!"
"Carly!" he said, his face lighting up and hugging his sister tightly, "How's it been?" he asked, "It's been..."
"Four years." she interrupted, "Four and a half years." she corrected."
"Wow... It seems like just yesterday you left.."
She nodded, "So um... how are you?"
"I'm... I'm okay" he finally replied quietly,
"Where is everyone?" she asked. "Where's Freddie? And Sam?"
"I have no idea, " he admitted with a hint of sadness, "only Gibby comes by anymore... You'll find him probably at the Groovy Smoothie."
"It's still open?!" she asked excitedly, "Thanks Spence! I owe you, I'll be back!" She dashed for the door but was stopped by Spencer
"Wait!" he said, "You never told me how you're trip was."
She turned to face him, "Oh it was... interesting."she finally said, "I got my degree in education, so I'm gonna look for a job around here at an elementary school or something. I still want to get a degree in telecommunications though, I like to have options, but I have other things to focus on first...Plus Italy was great, but it's no Seattle."
"Any boyfriends?"
"Not really... You know who my heart belongs to.."
"Wild parties?" he teased.
"Possibly." she replied with a giggle, "I'll fill you in on the rest I promise, I just wanna let everyone know I'm back."
He nodded, "Go for it kiddo." There's been quite a few changes since you left Kiddo... I just hope you can handle them, and maybe even fix a few mistakes people have made.
"Wait! Look at my squirrel!"
"What squirrel."
"My cam squirrel caught fire, so I made a new one." He held up a squirrel made of paper mache and was painted orange with blue eyes.
She giggled and shook her head, "somethings never change." she teased.
"Somethings change to much." he replied.
Before she could ask him what he meant he turned and headed upstairs "Okayyy then.." she muttered before heading to the Groovy Smoothie to see Gibby.
She arrived to find the Groovy Smoothie looking exactly like it had before she left. When she walked in, however, T-Bo was nowhere to be found; instead Gibby was walking around in an orange shirt trying to sell food on a stick.
He apparently noticed her as he stopped, a taco falling off the stick he was carrying them around, "Carly?" he asked.
"Gibby!"
He put the tacos on a stick, which brought back memories of when Spencer had burnt down her room, and rushed over to hug her, "I've missed you... We all missed you."
"Where is everyone?" she asked, patting his back, "Where's T-Bo?"
His eyes locked onto hers, "Freddie and Sam well... You need to talk to Freddie.." His tone lightened as he smiled, "As for T-Bo, he won the lottery and practically gave me the place.
She ignored his news about T-Bo as she felt increasingly worried about her best friends. "What is it?" she asked, and for the first time since she'd been back the ice cold fingers of panic curled around her throat "Are they okay?!"
"Ask Freddie." Was all he said, "Here's a key to his apartment." he said, digging into his pocket, "I go over and take smoothies once and awhile."
She gripped the key as if it were a long lost treasure and nodded, unable to shake that feeling of dread "Thanks Gibby."
"Gibbeh" was all he said, inciting a giggle from Carly before she left.
She let herself into Freddie's apartment Well, I guess I can consider this payback for practically living at my place. She thought dryly.
Freddie lay on his couch, a small orange bottle in his hand. He hadn't been able to fall asleep until dawn and with the help of at least five pain killers and a sleeping pill. The nightmares kept him away, along with the pain from his meetings with Sam. He turned in his sleep, gripping the couch cushion; he hadn't even made it to bed before passing out, as the nightmares came back
"Come with me then." Colonel Shay had said.
Freddie bit back the feeling of hopelessness, after all she'd never pick him over her dad. His hopes rose, however, when she said that it was crazy. Then she had turned to Sam and asked her opinion. He knew what was coming next, she was going to ask him... And he would tell her to go because he couldn't be selfish. "You should go." he said, proud of himself for not choking on the words.
Just when things seemed like they would be okay she followed him upstairs, took his hand... and kissed him. The kiss had felt right, but she had still left, left him alone.
He was briefly awoken by a knock on the door but decided to ignore it, he didn't want to talk to Gibby right now.
The next knock on his door woke him up again and he grumbled as he headed towards the door "God damn it Gibby" he said as he forced his door open, "WHAT?!" he said.
"F-Freddie?"
He froze, his heart felt like it wasn't beating anymore, "C-Carly...?"
She nodded and pulled him into a hug, "What's wrong Freddie?"
You weren't supposed to come back... They said you weren't coming back. He thought, "It's just... been so long."
"You didn't think I was coming back did you?"
No. "Yes of course."
"Where's Sam?"
His eyes widened, fear flashing through his eyes, "I-I don't know.." he lied. Suddenly his cell phone rang, No... Not now..
"Who is that?" she asked curiously.
"N-No one" he stuttered.
"You're a horrible liar." she teased, "Come on... You can tell me."
"It's... Sam." he finally said.
"Oh... So you do know where she is?" she asked suspiciously.
"She's... She inherited her mother's house." she said, "Her mother just ran off, never looked back."
"Poor Sam, I'm gonna go talk to her." she said softly, "Then I'll come back." she promised.
No! The voice in his head screamed, If she goes to Sam she'll discover the real you, not the boy she kissed four and a half years ago!
"I'll be here..." he said, forcing a cheery smile.
She kissed his cheek and smiled before turning around to leave, letting a worried frown take over her face, something was definitely wrong here. And I'm going to find out what she thought, determination replacing her panic.
The walk to the Puckett house was one Carly knew well, she'd walked it many days to make sure Sam went to school.
A fond memory fought its way to the surface, past her fears and worries, and she smiled softly at it.
She had been pounding on the door for a good ten minutes when finally Sam answered, "Oh... hey cupcake." she said, though she didn't sound happy to see her. "Time for school?"
"School started twenty minutes ago!" she said, "Now come on...We're gonna be late."
"Hang on, you gotta check out why I didn't answer, I stayed up all night doing this." Sam slipped over to her laptop and brought it to the door, showing Carly a picture of Mrs. Briggs's head photodocked to a rhino.
"You didn't" the brunette groaned.
"I did." her blonde friend confirmed, "It's on the school website now."
"I'm not taking the heat for this one Sam."
"Please?"
"No!"
"Pretty please... For me?"
Carly finally sighed, "Fine,... But you owe me for this."
She rolled her eyes at the memory and shook her head, if it hadn't been for her blonde friend's antics iCarly would never have existed... The trio would have never existed. She would have never realized how she felt about...
Don't go there! She said, closing her eyes and shaking her head as if she were trying to shake her thoughts out of her head. She arrived at the Puckett house in no time, though she wished she'd stayed with Freddie now. The look of the house, it hadn't changed much in the last four and a half years, but not it made chills run down her spine. What's wrong with me? She thought angrily, There's nothing to be scared of, it's just Sam... Your best friend.
She walked up to the door and knocked determinately, taking a deep breath and tapping her other hand against her leg nervously. Finally the door swung open and her blonde friend answered, though she looked about ten years older now.
"Carly?" She asked, squinting as if she hadn't seen sunlight in forever.
"Sam?" The brunette replied, "What's wrong with you?"
"Hungover." she muttered and stepped back to let Carly in, "Welcome back... I guess."
"You guess?"
"You left me, you left Freddie... You left us all, what do you expect me to do? Dance in joy that you're back?"
"You told me to go!"
"Because I didn't want to appear selfish, you should have known none of us wanted you to go... Except maybe Spencer."
"I'm not a mind reader!" Carly said defensively.
"Yeah well, you're a bitch too." She snarled.
"What's wrong with Freddie?" Carly suddenly blurted out, wanting to change the topic.
"Nothin', he just realizes how useless he is..."
"Sam!"
"He is, he isn't worth a damn and we both know it."
"He's worth ten of you." the brunette woman replied angrily.
"Oh yeah? Then how come he begs me to hurt him? Begs me to make him feel pain.."
"You're not.."
She nodded, a cold smile forming across her lips, "We don't need you anymore Carly, I don't need you holding me back!"
"Holding you back?"
"Yeah, I didn't realize it while you were here... But our friendship, iCarly, all of that stupid shit was holding me back!"
She felt in her chest, just like she'd felt when she realized what she was leaving behind, and it was getting bigger "S-Sam..." She ducked as a glass bottle flew out of her hand.
"GET OUT!" Sam screamed.
She frowned but nodded, seeing no point in staying, she ducked out the door in a hurry and blinked back tears. I've lost my best friend to her own darkness She thought, Or was she ever really my friend?
She hurried back to Bushwell Plaza and took the stairs up to her floor. The hallways held some good memories, but she had no time to dwell on them, she needed to see Freddie, but she also wanted to see Spencer... His advice would be fantastic right now so she let herself into her old apartment. "Spencer?" she called.
"Spencer here!"
"Can we talk?"
"Of course Kiddo.."
"Did you know what Sam has been doing to Freddie?!"
He paused, not quite sure how to answer this, "I tried..."
"You tried?!" she said.
"He wouldn't let anyone help, Gibby and I both tried... His mother too, she finally gave up and just... Left."
"She left?"
"She left." he repeated, "Freddie just lives... Alone?"
"He works, sometimes, mostly gets unemployment for rent."
"Oh my god... Why won't he let anyone help him?"
Her older brother just stared at her, "Because we weren't the person he needed."
"Then who does he need?!"
"I thought that'd be obvious... He needs you."
She stared dumbfounded, "Really? He... I've been such an idiot, I need to save him..."
"Then go save him, he needs it."
She nodded and quickly left, determined to do whatever it took to save Freddie.
His door was unlocked so she let herself in and found him sitting on his couch "Freddie?" she asked, nudging him.
She looked down at the coffee table and noticed a orange bottle, picking it up she frowned "Vicodin?" she asked curiously as she studied the label with her phone as a flashlight. Why does he need Vicodin? She thought curiously.
"Good stuff." he said, causing her to jump and drop the bottle.
"Why are you on heavy pain killers?" she demanded
"For pain, I'm sure you've been to see Sam."
She nodded and turned on a lamp for light, "Are you really asking her to hurt you?"
"Not by choice... Well, used to be not by choice, now I just do it because I don't have anything else to do."
Why are you telling her these things? The voice hissed in his ear, She's going to leave and Sam will be all you have.
"Shut up." he hissed.
"what?"
"Nothing... So how was Italy?"
"Don't change the topic Freddie.." she said firmly, "What happened to you."
He sighed and stood up, he was a little thinner than he'd been before she left but he was definitely still attractive. Stop it Carly She thought, biting her lip as he slid his shirt off.
The sight made her gasp, his chest was covered in scars, as were his arms and stomach. She walked over to him and traced one of the scars with her finger, causing him to shiver.
"Sam gets... Angrier than usual sometimes."
"'Angry'" She said, biting back a sob, "She's out of control Freddie!"
His eyes hardened, "She's all I have Carly... You left and I was.."
She cut him off with a kiss, "I'm here now." she whispered, taking his hand. "I will save you... and you won't ever have to suffer again."
He put his hand on her cheek, his touch still made her knees week, and kissed her again, "I... Save me?" he asked.
She nodded, her eyes locking with his "You're eyes they... They don't have that light anymore." she whispered, "I want them to light up when they see me like they used to."
"I'm not that boy anymore." he whispered.
"Nonsense." she whispered back, "You're still the same Freddie I used to confide in, the same Freddie I fell for."
His eyes widened at her last sentence but instead of saying something he kissed her again. She moaned softly into the kiss, she'd been waiting four and a half years for them to kiss like this and soon the kisses were turning desperate, full of need and longing that had been built up over the last few years they'd been apart.
Then they were laying on the couch, her on top of him, and she was planting kisses down his neck and back up to his lips, "I've missed you." she whispered softly against his lips.
"Words will never express how much I've missed you." he replied before kissing her again tenderly and passionately. She pulled back to look into his eyes and she could feel his breath hitting her neck, making her shiver "Are you sure you want this...?"
"I've wanted this since I was eleven." he whispered, "Well... maybe not quite this but you know what I mean."
She giggled and put a finger on his lips, before sliding out of her shirt.
"I'm Broken Carly." he finally whispered as he leaned up to kiss her neck.
She bit back a moan and smiled, "Then I'll fix you.." she whispered simply as they descended into a cloud of lust and need.
She woke up in his bedroom, not quite she how she'd gotten there, but slid out of bed and covered herself with one of his T-shirts, which was way too big on her, and walked into the kitchen.
Freddie awoke to the smell of coffee, Bit late for Coffee isn't it? He thought as he rolled out of bed and slipped a pair of blue jeans on.
"Evenin' beautiful." he said.
"Well hello handsome." she said happily, "How're you feeling?"
He walked up and planted a series of kisses on her neck, "fantastic." he whispered, "How about you?"
"Just... Great." she said, trying not to blush at the feel of his lips on her neck.
"Coffee? This late at night?" he asked curiously.
She shrugged, "I was thirsty, and I love coffee... I missed Seattle coffee."
Before he could reply there was a knock on the door, "It's either Sam or Gibby." he whispered and she didn't miss the tone of fear when he said Sam.
"I'll handle it." she said, "You be ready to call the cops if it's Sam and I can't handle her."
The brunette opened the door and, sure enough, it was Sam. "Found himself a new slut has he?" she slurred, obviously drunk.
"Go home Sam, just go home... Freddie doesn't need you anymore."
"Why don't you make me you skunkbag bitch?" she asked.
"Don't make me hurt you Sam... I'm not the same girl you know."
"Oh yeah? Well why don't you make me go home?"
Carly had been bluffing, she'd never had any interest in fighting, "I'll call the cops." she warned.
Sam just shook her head and shoved her way past Carly, "If he doesn't want me anymore he should be main enough to tell me that he doesn't want me!"
Carly raced to catch her, "Freddie call the cops!"
Sam's eyes widened, "Do it and I'll kill you!" she shouted.
Two minutes later he came out, looking more confident, "Cops are on their way."
"How could you betray me like this?" she demanded, looking at him.
"You betrayed me Sam; this is just me moving on with my life."
"She'll leave you! She'll leave and I won't be here and you'll be alone to pick up the pieces!"
He shook his head, "No Sam..." he said, talking more confident than he felt right about now. "She won't leave."
The cops showed up just then, walking in the open door, "We got a report of a domestic incident?"
"Yeah, this is Sam Puckett... She's not wanted here, and she's been abusing Freddie the last four years."
"That's a serious charge." the second officer, a woman, said. "Got proof?"
"Just look at him!" she said, "And we'll both testify if we need."
"We'll keep you to that." she said, "Miss Puckett you're going to need to come with me."
"I ain't going anywhere" she slurred, "fucking pigs." she said, "Fucking cops can kiss my ASS"
The police offers just hauled her away, handcuffed, kicking and screaming.
Carly smiled at Freddie, "That takes care of that.." she said before walking over to him, "You okay?"
"I'm fine." he lied, "Just let me finish up in the bathroom."
She nodded and he walked back into the bathroom, where his mask fell and he slumped down on the toilet. He reached down into a bag on nestled between the side of the toilet and the wall and grabbed a needle and vial.
He filled up the needle and smiled as it penetrated his skin. He pushed down on the needle, letting the contents wash through his veins, making everything seem okay...
Note: thanks to my beta reader for having so much patience with me. I hope you guys enjoy this one, if it gets a good review or two, or more... please more, I'll write a sequel I have in mind. Please Read and review and note I don't own iCarly!