I like to play GMOD. A lot. Seriously, It's fun. So one night, I was browsing the intertubes and came across a map pack including the map "ttt_x". Ah, but this was no ordinary map pack as I discovered later that night after booting the game up for a good round of raucous tiddlywinks of the online variety. As soon as the match started, I noticed something very weird about the textures, they looked as if they were made of hyper-realistic human flesh! I was mildly put off, but not too much, as many things in this planet are made of human flesh, so I loaded my server and sent out a few messages to my friends informing them everything was up and running. But, as I soon found out, my friends list was no ordinary friends list, but a friends list full of...ENEMIES! These were, of course, not my enemies, but the enemies of the enemies of my friends, so in a word, friends. I wait a while, but for some odd reason...nobody respond ed. A few minutes later I had a message pop up, so I checked it; it turned out to be a friend request from some user name "XX666NATAS666XX". I hadn't played any games with him, so I sent messages out to my friends to see if they knew him. As before no one responded; I tried to decline, but the button for accept was depressed anyway, and almost immediately he joined my game. I was getting sort of nervous, so I muted him in game chat and tried to enjoy the game. The icon popped up informing me he was saying something I couldn't hear. As I played the game more, a red tint began to set itself over my screen. Eventually my game froze and I was unable to exit, at this point NATAS approached me and began speaking again; this time however, the face-texture of his character showed a severely altered Doctor Kleiner with his lips extended to his forehead, so it was as if his head was only teeth and red skin. Then, my mouse moves and unmutes the game volume, when I tried to re-mute it but my mouse is frozen. NATAS's vocalizations, now audible were revealed to be nothing more than unintelligible mutterings, and it was almost comical to see Kliener's massive lips flap around on his face, as if they were trying to generate enough lift to fly him out of the map. But, it was then that I realized that his muttering wasn't muttering at all, it was some kind of code! It was the konami code! Upon uttering the last button name, all the faces that had been serving as the games textures opened their eyes and began crying hyper realistic blood. As the hyper realistic blood swept across the map, I tried to shoot at NATAS but my gun had been replaced with hyper realistic rubber. In a hyper realistic fashion, NATAS hyper realistically obtained corporeality and jumped through my screen. We both subsequently drowned in the stream of hyper realistic blood that flooded out of my computer monitor.
-The End-