This just kind of popped into my head one day, and I decided why not, might as well write it. This is supposed to be set after Voldemorts return. First Fanfic, and a oneshot. If you have any ideas for another title, please tell me. Reviews appreciated. (Edited 3/21/08)
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except my keyboard.
Fred and George Weasley were bored out of their minds. Their joke shop Weasley's Wizard Wheezes was booming and they were just raking in the galleons. That wasn't the problem, however. The problem was there was no excitement. With Voldemort back, most grown wizards and witches became more serious and fearful. There was no point in pulling tricks on each other, and any pranks in a populated area might be mistaken as a Death Eater attack, and even Fred and George knew not to cross that line. If they pranked the customers, there was a chance they would loose business. Back at Hogwarts, Fred never thought he would actually miss the senile old caretaker and his crazy cat, but now he found himself wishing he was there to grumble at them and haul them by their ears to Professor McGonagall for another transgression of the rules, made up or not. In accordance to his thoughts, Fred turned to his twin and stated, "It's so boring without Hogwarts."
George sighed and nodded sadly. "I know what you mean. No banquets, nobody to play mass pranks on, no greasy gits glaring at us across the room, no Filch coming after us trying to catch us…" He smiled at the last two thoughts. Oh, how Snape and Filch had tried to get them in trouble over the years.
Then Fred suddenly got one of his great ideas. The kind of idea that once led to the twins taking refuge in the Gryffindor common room to hide from a rabid Filch. "Hey George, you know how we're in the Order and all…"
"Yeah, and mum had a fit about it"
"Well, I was thinking they could use a laugh, and You-Know-Who and his Death Eaters could afford to lighten up a bit."
George's eyes lit up. "I see exactly what you mean."
Voldemort smirked. He and his followers were attacking another village. Magical this time, but that only made it more fun. Muggles couldn't fight back. The Death Eaters Apparated around him as he strode in the village. Just as they reached the boundary of the village, a red light came streaking out from a pile of bushes, and a Death Eater fell down, stunned. Another red beam of light shot towards the attacking group, this time from behind a tree. The smarter Death Eaters threw up shields to defend their slower comrades. Voldemort ground his teeth in frustration. Dumbledore and his Order again! They had occasionally showed up at a village, and it was quite an annoyance, expecting a slaughter and instead getting a band of bigoted do-gooders. Determined to take care of them himself and give his Death Eaters a cue (he wondered how some of them managed to walk and breathe at the same time with the IQ levels they possesed), he waved his wand and bellowed, AVADA KEDAVRA!"
He narrowed his eyes as the expected green light didn't shoot from the wand but rather nothing happened. Voldemort glared at his wand, and hissed in fury. His fury quickly changed to confusion, then indignation as his first and only wand tore itself from his grip, and walloped him on the side of his head. He batted it away with one slender hand, but it came soaring back to hit him again. He took a half-step back, and this time the wand launched itself at his eye. Voldemort snarled and swatted at the wand again, ducking slightly and dodging to his left. The wand followed, and bounced against his head. One Death Eater, with thoughts of thanks and glory dancing in his head, attempted to summon Volemort's wand. Like lemmings, the rest of Voldemort's followers then began attempting to catch, summon, curse, or otherwise stop or obtain the errant wand. Unfortunately, their plan didn't work very well. Nothing happened for a minute, but then as if on cue, all their wands either began attack their owners or changed into something else with a loud bang.
The group who had set out to murder a village now had other things to worry about. They scattered in confusion, trying to dodge wands bent on attacking them. Their yelling, cursing, and crashing into inanimate objects however, awoke some of the villagers, and they raised the alarm. Now faced against a mass of armed, angry wizards and witches with no wands, Voldemort ground his teeth in anger and frustration, the disappeared with barely a pop. It took the Death Eaters a moment to realize he had gone, but then they all followed suit. The raiding party arrived at headquarters, defeated and wandless, facing the wrath of a very angered master.
Voldemort bared his teeth and hissed furiously at his Death Eaters. "Trick wands." He glared at each of them, radiating homicidal fury. "Voldemort and his Death Eaters were foiled by trick wands!" He caught one a wand that had somehow followed a helpless Death Eater and snapped it in half. "Find out who did this, and where our wands are, or else I will be very displeased." with that last threat, he stormed away wishing he had his wand if only to tortured a few of them to make himself feel better. He would have to find whoever had done this to him, and make sure to make an example. Nobody did that to Lord Voldemort and lived. Trick wands indeed. He hissed for Nagini, holding out the snapped wand. She would help him find the perpetrator's scent, and then nothing would save who did this.