A/N: I just want to apologize for the atrocity that follows... my muse is extremely evil. I didn't want to write this, but when an idea forms in my head it goes down on paper. My muse has issues... she loves angst with a passion. Tears soon result... from me if I don't listen to her T.T I'm not saying there won't be humor, I can't resist playing with poor Eiri-san's sanity. Then again... I can't resist playing with anyone's sanity. So now, instead of making you read any more of this pointless rant... On with the story! Oh yeah, disclaimer and warnings...

Warnings: Yaoi, angst, OOC-ness (I tried to keep it to a minimum...)

Disclaimer: Murakami-san is the one who owns Gravitation and it's characters, I just use them for my own amusement.

Chapter 1 (Eiri)

"You're annoying me. Get out," Eiri said with a glare in Shuichi's general direction. Once again, Shuichi found himself sitting on the floor in the hall outside Eiri's apartment with his belongings.

"Yuki… why?" he asked, tears gathering at the corner of his eyes. Instead on bursting into tears as Eiri expected, Shuichi balled up his fists, closed his eyes, and stood. "Yuki…" Surprised, Eiri turned around to face him.

"What is it, you little brat?" Shuichi stood silently for a moment, shaking.

"Yuki you… I've tried! No matter how much you insulted me, or how many times you kicked me out, I came back. I came back because I love you. And yet… You always push me away. No more!" Shuichi yelled. He grabbed his belongings and ran out the door. Eiri reached out after his retreating form.

"Wait…" he whispered. He sank down against the wall. I'm sorry. It's for the best…" He held back his tears and walked back into his apartment. "He's better off without me. Looking at his laptop he was struck with an idea. His editor had been pestering him for a new story, and now he had one.

He sat down and began to type. Already the story was forming in his mind. Only his baka and those close to him would see the similarities between the story and his own life. Shuichi… he thought. He'd never admit it aloud, but he really did love the little brat. If only it didn't have to be this way… But HE would kill him. He's capable of it, I'm sure.

Eiri leaned back in his chair. He lit a cigarette and closed his eyes as the events of "that day" came flooding back.

Flashback

"Sensei!" Eiri called. "Sorry I'm late, are you mad?" Kitazawa Yuki looked up at his student and smiled.

"No, not at all." Eiri smiled back in relief and laughed.

"Ne, sensei. We'll be together forever, right?" he asked. Yuki nodded, still smiling.

The scene flashed to an empty room. Every detail of that place was burned into Eiri's memory. He could still see the beer bottle lying on the floor, the pools of blood slowly spreading and merging. He could see himself, holding the gun in his lap, staring at the bodies. Yuki's voice resounded in his head.

"You've always been such a good boy," he said. Yuki turned as two men entered the room. Eiri watched, confused, as one of the two men handed Yuki a folded bill. "After you," Yuki said. Turning to Eiri, the men laughed. As if to stop him from attempting to run, one of them moved their coat a little, just enough for him to catch a glimpse of a gun. An idea struck him and he squeezed his eyes shut. He waited until they were close enough. Lunging for the gun, he held it, shaking.

"B-back off! I-I'll shoot!" he threatened. The men laughed and kept moving toward him.

"You don't have the courage, little boy," one taunted. He reached for Eiri.

Squeezing his eyes shut tighter, Eiri backed up a few steps. Raising the gun, he pulled the trigger. Once. Twice. Two thuds as two bodies hit the floor. Eiri opened his eyes to see Yuki advancing angrily. Fear made him panic. He pointed the gun at Yuki and fired. The bullet missed its target and tore through the sleeve of Yuki's shirt. Eiri fired again but missed completely. Backing up further and further, Eiri hit a wall and gasped. He swallowed hard, aimed, and fired. The bullet hit Yuki's thigh and he fell, clutching at his leg.

As Yuki fell, Eiri looked up and saw Tohma standing in the doorway. His face twisted into an expression of terror, Eiri dropped the gun and ran to him. Tohma held the sobbing boy as he cried as well.

"You're not to blame. It wasn't your fault," he whispered. Gently pulling Eiri to his feet, he put a protective arm around his shoulders and led him out.

"What about him?" Tohma looked back at Yuki with disgust.

"Leave him there. He'll die of blood loss eventually," he replied.

End Flashback

The ashes from Eiri's cigarette dropped onto his lap and brought him out of his daze.

"OW! SHIT!"

Koiishi: So that's that for chapter 1. I hope you liked it! Please review. Flames will be used to keep me warm- NE is really cold in the winter!

Eiri: You made me a sentimental idiot! What were you thinking?

Koiishi: Blame my evil muse! It's all her fault!

Shuichi: Whaaaaa Yuki doesn't love me any more! -starts bawling his head off-

Eiri: ... evil grin I'll show you that I do love you, my little baka.

Koiishi: -gets out video camera- This could be fun!