A/N: My first Psych one shot. Idea came to me when I was talking with my best friend. :) Hope you enjoy and please review!
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own the awesome show or the even more amazing characters. Sigh. How sad...
Warning: Contains some spoilers from 'This Episode Sucks.'
Carlton Lassiter leaned back in his chair, said chair squeaking as he did so. Carlton grimaced at the squeak. He wasn't able to prove it yet, but he knew the annoying as hell "psychic," Shawn Spencer, had something to do with it.
He sighed when his chair again squeaked. The station was unusually quiet because the idiot and his friend, Burton Guster, hadn't shown up today for some reason unknown to him. He shook his head; he refused to think of the younger man.
Instead, to take his mind of things, he looked around the station that was pretty empty and void of the typical hustle and bustle. Looking back, his day was pretty uneventful...It started with getting his 4 year old daughter Hollie ready for pre-school, which proved to be a more laborious task than it should have been. Normally his wife of 5 years, Marlowe, would do this, but she was currently out of town visiting her family. He would've accompanied her, but considering he arrested his own brother-in-law (Marlowe's brother) for almost stealing his blood and stealing and consequently killing innocent civilians...let's just say the Viccellio's were none too happy when their daughter brought him over and even less when they found out the two were happily engaged.
Anyway, after attempting to tie bows in his daughter's curly blonde hair, taking her to pre-school, seeing she was missing her left shoe and rushing home, then finally dropping her off (shoes and all), his day continued at work where he strangely had no cases; only paperwork to finish of cases he completed with his partner, Juliet Spencer (though he refused to call her anything other than O'Hara), before she went on maternity leave for the second time now.
Now the head detective was left with absoluetly no work and it was only noon.
Another 30 minutes passed until he received a call. Looking at the caller ID, he saw it was from...the pre-school? What could've possibly happened? Hollie was always a good kid, listening to rules...he answered, not receiving any more information as to clue him into what was happening; only that the principal needed him down at the school as soon as possible.
He climbed into the Crown Vic and drove down to his daughter's pre-school for the third time today. He walked in and was directed by the receptionist to the principal's office, where he saw...Spencer. Of all people. He groaned and sat in one of the designated waiting chairs, farthest away from the bothersome burnette.
Shawn smiled at him. "Hey Lassi-saurous!" he greeted ratherly loudly.
Carlton grumbled, "What are you doing here, Spencer?"
Shawn put on an expression of mock hurt and put a hand to his chest. "Lassie, I am truly hurt. How could you forget that Jules' had her heart set on this place for our little Rylie? Her heart, Lassie! Her heart!"
Carlton shook his head and ran a hand through his short hair. Another thing he knew, but couldn't quite prove; Spencer just happening to enroll his son Rylie (who also was 4 years old) at the very same pre-school as his princess. He was sure he did it just to annoy him in places other than the station and to affect Hollie in some way or another...
A young woman with dark brown hair pulled back into a bun came around the corner, holding hands with the two children in question. Rylie was bouncing up and down, the chaperone clearly struggling to keep him by her side, while Hollie walked with poise...calmly walking by the older woman's side and holding her hand. Carlton smiled to himself.
'Oughta girl...' he thought to himself.
Seeing the two fathers, the woman let go of their hands. Rylie litterally jumped to his father and hopped in place in front of him, talking so quickly it sounded more like a hum of sound rather than actual human words. And Hollie skipped over to her dad, smiling widely.
"Hi daddy," the blonde with big blue eyes greeted in her usual bubbly manner.
Carlton smiled back; no matter how upset he was, his little princess and Marlowe could always make him happy again.
He picked her up and set the small girl on his lap, frowning again.
"Why are you sticky?" he asked her.
Hollie glared at the younger Spencer across from them. "He threw pineapple at me." she informed angrily.
"He what?" Carlton asked in a tone much like her own, also glaring, but at the older of the two burnettes.
Shawn smiled back. "What can I say? The boy likes pineapple."
"Spencer, what the hell is-" Carlton started yelling, but stopped short when the door of the principal's office swung open.
The principal (Kirstin Bernsen, Carlton saw the name plate on her desk from outside her office) smiled a small smile that was directed at the adults that clearly meant 'you both are trash for letting your kids screw up like this.' Only problem was Carlton was yet to know what exactly his kid did.
The older woman lead the four inside, sitting at her own desk.
"Please sit down," Principal Bernsen said, motioning at the three chairs near the door. Shawn smiled at her, clearly putting on the "Spencer Charm" and sat in the middle chair, leaving Carlton no choice but to sit next to the aggravating "psychic." Grumbling, he sat down; trying to scoot as far away from the man on his right as much as he could in the limited space.
The two kids sat in a pair of smaller chairs closer to the daunting woman's desk. Rylie smiled a similair charming smile to that of Shawn's at Hollie who glared at him, crossed her arms, and turned her petite body away from him.
"What seems to be the problem?" Carlton asked in the most polite voice he could muster.
Completely ignoring him, Principal Bernsen said, "I've called both of you down here today because according to Mr. Hill, Rylie's and Hollie's teacher, Hollie...well. I didn't believe it at first, but...it seems she arrested your son, Mr. Spencer..."
"What?" both Shawn and Carlton asked simotaneously.
Shawn started laughing loudly. "Are you saying we're here because of his kid?" he asked, pointing to Carlton. "Not mine?"
Carlton glared at him. "What exactly happened?"
Principal Bernsen looked at a paper. "Mr. Hill informed me that Hollie pushed Rylie against one of the trees outside, tied his hands behind his back, and left him under the jungle gym."
"He threw pineapple at me first!" Hollie frowned.
"She questioned me," Rylie said, leaning back in his chair, smirking.
"He stole my gummy bears!" Hollie exclaimed. "That's assault and robbery, you no good criminal!"
"I think you need to find more information about what happened here other than what some no brain, idiotic teacher reported," Carlton said.
"I second that mention," Shawn said.
"Motion. It's I second that motion," Carlton corrected.
"I've heard it both ways, Lassifrass. Anyway, I agree with the pasty detective. We need more information here...plus, I really wanna hear how little Lassie arrested my Ryles," he said with a triumphant smirk.
Carlton rolled his eyes and smiled at his baby girl. "Why don't you tell us your side first?"
Hollie smiled back. "Okay, daddy. I was sitting at the arts and crafts table making a card for mommy's brother in jail and I saw the meanie-head go to the block place. He played with the blocks and was being a dummy and the blocks fell on him. Then I saw my gummy bears fall out of his pocket. And I know because my name was on the bag. So at lunch, I sat with him and started asking him questions about it, but he was being stupid like usual and kept talking in a weird accent. Then at recess I kept asking him questions, but then he threw his pineapple chunks at me and started running. So I chased him, threw him against the tree, took the bow out of my hair and tied his hands behind his back because I didn't have any handcuffs. And I took him to under the playground because it has bars and could be like a cell, but not before I told him his Miranda Rights and what he did; theft and assault. Then I left him there when we went back inside because he deserved to be punished."
Shawn started laughing again. "Wow. When I said little Lassie, I didn't think it'd be litterally. Ryles tell us your side of the story."
Rylie smiled. "Exactly that. She's right. I just really wanted gummy bears...would you believe I thought it was community bears?"
Hollie glared at Rylie, while Carlton glared at Shawn. "I don't know what my child did wrong. She's clearly the victim here. That young delinquent stole her property and threw fruit at her. All my daughter did was conduct a proper interrogation and make a perfect arrest."
Principal Bernsen sighed, clearly not getting the results she hoped for. "Why don't both of you take Hollie and Rylie home for the day and we'll try again tomorrow."
"Sweet! More time to play video games with Uncle Gus!" Shawn said jumping to his feet.
Rylie giggled and similarily jumped to his feet, following his dad outside.
Carlton shook his head and picked up his young daughter, carrying her out.
Hollie frowned and looked at her father. "Daddy, are you mad at me?"
Carlton looked at her. "Mad at you? Hollie, I couldn't be more proud...not only did you perform your first sort of investigation by yourself, it was Spencer. That makes it all the better."
Hollie smiled and hugged his neck. Carlton smiled contently and hugged back.
"Hey Lassie!" Spencer called to him. Carlton groaned and put Hollie down. He then turned and faced the beign of his existance.
"Crazy stuff, right? I'm going to take Ryles out for smoothies. Wanna come?" He offered with a goofy smile.
Carlton glared at him. "Keep your theiving son away from my daughter."
"Oh Lassie..." Shawn shook his head in an amused fashion and patted him on the back in a way much like a parent would to a child who didn't understand what was right in front of them.
"Look at our two younglings..." He gestured to Rylie and Hollie. Rylie was saying something to Hollie and by the murderous expression on her face, was none too pleased with what he said.
"Can't you see it? It's amor. Love. Just wait...they're gonna end up together. It's already happening," Shawn smirked triumphantly.
Carlton looked at him incredulously. "What?"
Shawn smirked again. "Just know that us Spencers have a thing for blondes, Lassie." And with that, he started walking away to the children.
Carlton's hands curled into fists so tight, his knuckles were white. "They're four, Spencer!"
A/N: So how was that? I, for one, can totally see Lassie's kid arresting other kids haha