So at first I thought I'd ruined everything.

I'd even made a note to myself: 'don't ever let emotions get the better of you'.

Please as if I have any self-control.

I'm not supposed to like her. She is bossy and harsh and uses way too many French words in her everyday vocabulary. She is rude, and when you make her laugh her face turns all read and her nose scrunches up. Speaking of her laugh, it is quite adorable. Her eyes are beautiful too. Those cerulean orbs were gorgeous. They were always so penetrating and she can always tell when I am lying. Gosh I love her.

Why'd ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you..
Must you make me laugh so much?
It's bad enough we get along so well..
Say goodnight and go.

We're past that though. The whole angst teenage love thing: so last week. Right now we're in her room relaxing and listening to music. Her parents are away and she got lonely. We decided that we'd be better as friends. Well Paige did, I just sat there thinking of all the times we had skipped school to have sex, watch movies, and sleep. Of course it didn't matter at the time. We were both in love and in the last couple months of our senior year and attendance wasn't vital. I'll admit, I think about our past a lot. Particularly our intimate past.

Daydreaming,
Bed scenes in... the corner cafe
And then I'm left in bits recovering tectonic... tremblings
You get me every time.

But now we are in her room and she is doing it again. She is doing what she does best these days. Sending me mixed signals. I can't get mad at her though. It's hard to stay mad at the girl. She's just too damn charming.

These past couple of weeks she has been pulling on my heartstrings. She has been dangling all this hope in front of my face and then yanking it away so fast, my hoop earrings nearly get pulled off. Tonight I'm wearing studs though.

I can't help but love her. I just have this underlying hope that we will end up together. Gosh she is adorable.

Why'd ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you..
Must you make me laugh so much?
It's bad enough we get along so well..
Say goodnight and go.

'I should get going' I say.

'The bus is coming soon.' I say.

She just sits there in MY tank top that she thought she would look amazing in (which she does) and in her flannel pajama bottoms. I get up to go wearing her brother's old hockey jersey from when he was probably twelve. She grabs the strings on the pajama bottoms that she let me borrow, and pulls me back down.

'Catch the 2 o clock' she says.

So I stay and she lays her head in my lap after we have watched Forrest Gump and The Notebook, and after we've done each other's nails, and told the corniest knock-knock jokes that sent us both into an endless fit of laughter.

We make Piña Coladas and lay flat on her carpet, tipsy.

'I feel like I am a million pounds.' I say.

'I feel like I'm falling in love with you all over again.' She whispers.

One of these days,

You'll miss your train,
And come stay with me...
(It's always say goodnight and go)
We'll have drinks,
And talk about things and,
Any excuse to stay awake with you...
You'd sleep here,
I'd sleep there,
But then the heating may be down again,
At my convenience...
We'd be good,

We'd be great together...

We drag ourselves up to her bed. We share and intense gaze as she tells me that she wants every night to be like this. I smile and she leans in to kiss me. I wrap my arms around her and we fall asleep like that.

Why's it always always
goodnight and go?
Oh, Darling not again,
Goodnight and... go...