Regrets
By TriGemini
Disclaimer: All the characters associated with CSI: NY belong to Anthony Zuiker, Jerry Bruckheimer Television, CBS, and Alliance Atlantis. Therefore, pleas do not sue.
If Danny Messer were to be honest, he'd be the last person to admit that he had regrets in his life. Whether they were good or bad, the point was that he had them. Nevertheless, like everybody else he had to deal with them.
He had to suppose that one of his biggest regrets happened after college. If he hadn't gotten into that bar fight than maybe, his baseball career wouldn't have come to such a short end. Then again, if that hadn't happened he never would've pursued a career in forensic science and law enforcement. Not to mention, the offer he got from Lt. Mac Taylor to work at the CSI Lab in New York City wouldn't have occurred either.
As a result, when he looked back on what happened. He didn't regret the sudden career change at all. Given that he found a job that, he actually liked and was actually good at doing. It even got to the point where he started to consider the people at the lab like his own family. More than his 'real one,' had ever been to him.
Like his boss, Mac Taylor. Not only did he see his boss as a mentor, but also he considered him a close friend, and at times even a father figure. Then there was his best friend Don Flack. He worked as a detective in the NYPD's Homicide division. The two were extremely close just like brothers. Sometimes he hated to admit it but he felt a lot closer to Don than he did to his own 'real' brother. Not to mention, his other friends that he had there as well. Such as, Dr. Sheldon Hawkes, Stella Bonasera, Lindsay Monroe, Sid Hammerback, Adam Ross, etc. Overall, they were like one big family.
The job of a crime scene investigator was known to be quite demanding. For the work, hours could be a bit unpredictable. Not to mention, it could be dangerous, as well.
Like when his good friend Aiden Burn had been killed. He thought about killing the guy who had done it. However, Mac told him he'd regret it and then he'd lose his badge. It was a good thing that Mac was able to talk some sense into him or else there would have been trouble.
Although, he had to confess that there were moments in which wondered why he hadn't quit this job. After all, he had many reasons to do so. However, he also realized it would be a bigger regret if he had actually gone through with it.
He'll also own up to the fact that he messed up a lot when he was younger. One of those regrets nearly cost him his badge. If he hadn't been so stupid and reckless as a teenager to have almost gotten involved with the Tanglewood Boys than maybe it wouldn't have come back to haunt him. Unfortunately, that regret hit him twice over. First, because it made him look bad in front of his boss when it was discovered and the second was because his older Louie almost got himself killed trying to clear his name of a murder he didn't commit.
He also regretted being on bad terms with his brother. Not that it ever occurred to him that being thrown out of the gang was Louie's way of protecting him. His main regret when his brother got hurt was never trying to make things right between them when they had the chance. Although, he did promise himself that if his brother made it out of his coma. He'd try to make things better. That way there would be no more regrets between them.
Now if there was one thing in Danny Messer's life that he didn't regret. It was going all the way to Bozeman, Montana to see her. The one woman that's been driving him crazy since the first time they'd met at the zoo.
Okay, technically he was the one really driving her crazy. He teased her when the opportunity arose; he even nicknamed her 'Montana,' which he knew annoyed the hell out of her. Not that she ever let any of his comments slide. For she always had a witty comeback ready for him.
Nevertheless, he never regretted taking the chance to go and be with her when it was obvious that she needed him. This was okay because he realized a long time ago that he needed her too and he hadn't even realized it until he almost lost her.
Now there was a moment he did regret.
He regretted in not being able to talk her out of going undercover. Because when he realized that, she'd been discovered and her life was in immediate danger. For that one moment, everything had just stopped for him. Seeing as how the only thing he wanted to do was find her and make sure that she was all right.
It wasn't until after he held her in his arms that it hit him like a ton of bricks. He nearly lost her in that one moment. It also became clear to him that he just wasn't going to lose a coworker, or a good friend, but someone he really cared about and loved. He knew than that, he had to try to tell her about how he felt.
He made his move and the results weren't what he expected. She told him directly that she couldn't be in a relationship with him. That there were some things in her life that she needed to deal with before she could let him in completely.
At that moment, he regretted many things. He regretted the moment she walked away from him. He regretted not telling her how he 'really' felt about her. He regretted in letting her distance herself from him. During those days that turned into weeks than months, he regretted a lot that came to Lindsay Monroe. Though, he didn't regret telling her that he'd be there for her if she needed him. He also didn't regret waiting for her return either.
Afterwards, he didn't regret when he suggested that he and Lindsay take their relationship slow. For he didn't want her to have any regrets in being with him. He knew that things with her were going to be different and so he had to make sure that he didn't scare her away from him in the time being.
As for the first night, they'd spent together. He certainly didn't regret that. It might have been somewhat unexpected but it still turned out to be perfect.
Not to mention, when he decided to give Lindsay a snow day he didn't regret that decision. She looked so peaceful lying on the pool table; he didn't have the heart to wake her up. Therefore, he took her shift. That proved to be another decision he didn't regret in his life. Even though, it meant getting hurt in the process. He was much happier knowing that it was him rather than her. Because if it had been her. He wasn't sure if he wanted to think along those lines. He was just happy to know that she was safe. Although, now it seemed like she was the one taking care of him and for that, he didn't have any regrets.
In the end, it was possible that he had many regrets. However, with time he'd probably be able to make up for some of them.
A/N: So was this good or bad to read? Please be nice when you review.