If we had met under different circumstances, would my heart still ache for you? Would I still think of you when I'm alone at night? Would I still want to beat the hell out of your boyfriend? Cho Kyuhyun, what have you done to me?
"Jongwoon, you didn't sing as well as usual." Ah, Jungsoo hyung is as sharp as always. It's our lunch break, and I snuck out earlier to escape from the object of my affections and his lover. Jungsoo must have saw me.
Hyung plops down on the seat next to me. He gives me one of his knowing smiles. "Want to talk about it?" he asks, and I know that he expects me to tell him everything. And because he's my hyung, and because he's a good friend, I do.
"I'm in love with Kyuhyun." I confess, and Jungsoo nods knowingly. Because it's a bond we share, since he also knows the pain of unrequited love. Because he loves Youngwoon, even though the stupid muscle-head is smooching Hyukjae.
"Are you going to tell him?" Jungsoo asks, and I laugh dryly. "Sure, and have Sungmin hate me." I snort. Hyung merely keeps quiet, his ever present smile plastered on his face. "So, the magnae, eh. How did it even begin?" he asks. "I don't know. Ever since we first met? That one time we went out to eat? When we first performed as KRY with Ryeowook? I'm not sure. I just love him." I shrug. Jungsoo chuckles. "Love is mysterious, isn't it?" he stands up and stretches. "Well, if you ever need help, come to me. We can be unrequited love buddies or something." I laugh for real, something I haven't done in a while. "Sure, hyung."
At least I'm not the only one.
That night, Ryeowook whips up a delicious dinner. "Because we worked so hard today." he explains, but from the way he's been looking at Sungmin, it's probably because he needed to concentrate on something else. Donghae seems a bit stressed as well, from the way he looks when he notices Youngwoon and Hyukjae together.
Is this the year of unrequited loves or something?
"Hyung." Kyuhyun approaches me after dinner. "Will you help me with my singing?" he asks. I'm more than willing to help, especially if it gets him away from Sungmin.
We sing and laugh and reminisce for hours, until Sungmin drags the magnae away to watch a movie. I go to my room and close my eyes, deciding to just sleep.
Too bad I forget to use my blankets.
I wake up with a terrible cold. Ryeowook tries to get me out of bed, but I just take out my blankets and actually use them, because I feel like crap. The eternal magnae finally gives up and orders everyone who isn't working for the day to take care of me. Hyukjae in the morning, Ryeowook himself in the afternoon, and finally Kyuhyun in the evening. Should I be happy?
As Hyukjae sits in a chair next to my bed, I begin to think about everyone in Super Junior. Especially those who are happy, like Heechul and Hankyung, who are so totally in love, Siwon, who doesn't seem interested in pursuing a relationship, and Shindong, who is satisfied with his life. And let's not forget about Kibum, who can probably find a very beautiful young lady with the snap of his fingers.
Lucky jerks.
I groan, and Hyukjae looks at me in alarm. "Are you okay, Jongwoon? Do you want me to get you anything?" he asks worriedly. "Uh... No." I shake my head. "I was wondering... How did you even come to love Youngwoon?" I ask. Hyukjae thinks. "To be honest, I like his body. Very strong and sexy." I felt like slapping him. "Seriously? What else?" I ask. "Hm... I can't say his mind... Maybe his personality? No... Nothing, I suppose..." Hyukjae looks confused. "IDIOT!" I shout and instantly regret it, because my thought bursts into flames. I begin to cough, and the dance machine scurries off to the kitchen to get me some water. He returns quickly and hands me a glass of water gingerly, as if he was afraid of me.
"Sorry," I apologize after a few gulps of water, "But I don't think iy's real if you love someone for only his or her body." "You're probably right." Hyukjae says thoughtfully. We sit in silence. Very awkward silence. "I like Donghae," he finally says, "because he's cute, funny, and nice to be with. Does that mean I love him?" Since when was I a love expert? "I don't know. Spend some time with him and find out by yourself." I roll my eyes.
At exactly noon, Ryeowook comes into my room holding a tray of food. "Get better hyung! So you then you can thank me for my hospitality and take me to an amusement park!" he tells me. I laugh. He may sound like he's joking, but he means it. We eat and talk about life. However, when it came to the subject of love, Ryeowook begins to cry. "Wookie?" I ask, startled by the sudden change in his mood. "Sorry, Jongwoon, I just- it's so hard seeing Sungmin and Kyuhyun together!" he sniffs. "Now now, everything will be okay." I try to calm him down, but he cries harder. "No, it won't! B-because t-they're so close! Sungmin would never consider me! I mean, look at Kyu! He's tall, sexy, and talented!" "Hey now, don't be like that." I pull Ryeowook into an embrace. "If anything, you're more suited for Sungmin that Kyuhyun is. Minnie prefers the cuter and sweeter types, anyway." or, that's how I feel, but I don't tell that to Wookie. "Really?" he asks, looking up at me with his big, innocent eyes. "Really." I say and smile. I wipe away the rest of his tears and kiss his forehead, because that's what a good hyung does. "So tell Sungmin how you feel, okay?" I hear a shuffling noise from outside my room. "Hyung, you're the best!" Ryeowook hugs me, and the door opens a little. It goes by unnoticed to Ryeowook, but I can hear footsteps retreating down the hallway. Was someone eavesdropping on us?
At around 5:30, Kyuhyun takes Ryeowook's place by my bed.
"How are you feeling, hyung?" he asks, smoothing the blankets over my shoulders. "A lot better than before." I tell him, and it's the truth. "That's great." he replies. Kyuhyun turns away from me and stares at the ank at the far corner of my room. My three tortoises stare back at him.
"Isn'tit weird, having those guys look at you all day?" he finally asks. "You get used to it." I reply. "Besides, they're kind of cute." "They remind me of you." Kyuhyun laughs. "They're strange." "That's not very nice, Kyu." I pout up at him. "I never said it was a bad thing." he gives me one of his cheeky smiles, and my heart skips a beat. I decide that it's not a good idea to keep looking at him, because I'm sure to force myself onto him. I turn away and face the wall. There's a moment of silence.
It feels like a dau passed, but no, it's just a few long minutes. But I don't say anything, because then Kyuhyun would reply, and I'd want to turn and look at him.
"Are you awake, hyung?" Kyuhyun murmurs. I don't reply. I hear shuffling, and my mattress is weighed down, right next to my head. I squeeze my eyes shut. "Hyung?" the hairs on the back of my neck stand up when I feel his hot breath on my ear. "I know you're awake, hyung." he mutters. "I happened to hear your conversation with Ryeowook earlier. So, he's better for Sungmin than I am?" I freeze. So Kyuhyun was the eavesdropper? Why? "Then, who am I better for? Maybe Kibum?" he chuckles. "Or... How about you, hyung?" I still don't reply because I don't know what to say. "Jongwoon." he whispers my name huskily into my ear. I feel his lips graze my earlobe. "Sometimes, when I'm with Singmin, I wish he is you. I... Yearn for you, Jongwoon." the weight on my bed is removed. There are footsteps. The light turns off, and the door clicks shut, telling me that I am alone.
I breathe out a long, shaky sigh. Was that really Kyuhyun? Did he really mean what he said? Or was it all a hilarious joke for him?
A week later, Kyuhyun leaves for a concert in Beijing with Super Junior M.
Hyukjae breaks up with Youngwoon, who is then comforted by Jungsoo hyung. I'm sure we all know where this is going.
Sometimes at night, I can hear Sungmin talking to Ryeowook on the phone. It seems that his relationship is falling apart, since Kyuhyun has become more indifferent to Sungmin.
Three weeks later, Super Junior M returns. Donghae instantly rushes to see Hyukjae. Sungmin and Ryeowook exchange shy greetings, but then begin to eagerly chat.
"Jerk." Kyuhyun says that nigh when he joins me on the roof of our home. "Excuse me?" I ask, a bit surprised. "You're the reason why it never worked out with Minnie." he accuses me. But he smiles brightly. "Because you told Wookie to tell Sungmin everything." "Well... I support them." I defend myself with a stupid excuse, but hey, who cares? "I do too." Kyuhyun agrees with me. He moves closer to me and leans against me. "Hey, look! A shooting star! Say your wish three times!" Kyuhyun points at the sky. Indeed, a brilliant streak of light is traveling in the pitch black sky. I open my mouth to speak, but Kyuhyun beats me to it. "Jongwoon, Jongwoon, Jongwoon!" he calls out. Then he turns to me and smirks. "Is my wish granted?"
Soft lips meet mine, and we kiss.
A great way to end a great night.
My love isn't unrequited anymore.