Forgiveness isn't easy – Ratchet and Clank
Basic plot: Ratchet, Clank and the Galactic Rangers were concerned about Serina's safety and wellbeing, unsure if sending her out to Drek industries was good idea, due to her weak and frail nature. Unfortunately, Serina overhears their conversation and runs off, confused and heartbroken. In a moment of blind anger and rage, she decides to get revenge on her friends by teaming up with Drek to make them pay for thinking she wasn't capable of completing the mission. But in the end, Drek destroys Novalis, and Serina instantly realises what she has done. Greif stricken, she flees back to Veldin and confines herself with the orphanage, horrified at what she had done. Ratchet also returns to Veldin, overwhelmed with emotions. Not only did Qwark betray the rangers, the only person he could relate to betrayed him too. So filled with hurt and anger, he takes refuge within the garage and tries to distract himself. One of them will have to make the first move in order to fix their friendship, but will a heartfelt apology be enough to bring these two back together?
Serina's POV
I'm such an idiot.
A stupid, hopeless, useless idiot. He was just trying to protect me, they all were. And what do I do?
I betray them.
They gave me nothing but kindness, and I just threw it back in their faces. Why did I think that working with the enemy would help? Why?
I currently lay on my bed on my stomach, my face buried in my pillow. My eyes sting from the tears that constantly stream down my face and soak into the soft fabric. I don't know how long I've been lying here for, but I don't care. I'm never moving from this spot, I am never leaving this place ever again. I slowly lifted my face from my pillow, and saw that my tears had left a small stain on the fabric. My usual reaction would be to laugh it off and get over it, since I've cried into that pillow more times than I can count. But now, I didn't have anything to laugh about. Every ounce of happiness had been literally sucked out of me and had been destroyed. The only remaining emotions I had were sadness and gut-wrenching guilt. I tried to wipe away my tears, but whenever I wiped them away, new ones would form and trickle down my cheeks. My vision was blurry due to my unstable emotions, but I could still see my protosuit, discarded on the floor, along with my helmet. I looked away, small sobs escaping from my mouth. I was never good enough to be a Galactic Ranger, especially when my body is as frail as it is. I'm surprised they didn't make me work with Elaris and Clank, since I wouldn't have been much use to them. I only became a Ranger because I just happened to be with Ratchet and Clank in the ship when they saved Aleero City from the invasion. I didn't even do anything.
It was Ratchet and Clank who did all the work, not me. So when captain Qwark was asked if he was going to let the three of us become Galactic Rangers, I wanted to decline straight away.
But…
I didn't. Seeing all those people cheering and applauding us made me feel… happy. Like I was finally being accepted into the world, despite my unique appearance. Not to mention being a Galactic Ranger has been my dream since I was little. But when my dream finally came true, I felt like a liar. A fraud. I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve to be called a hero. I didn't deserve…
I could feel even more tears stream down my cheeks as I thought about everything I had done. "God, I'm so pathetic…" I mumbled to myself, sniffling and trying to once again wipe away the tears that continued to dampen my face. I brought my knees up to my chin, and wrapped my arms around my legs. I stared at the wooden floor, allowing myself to become mesmerised by the thin lines that travelled along each individual floor board. I was so distracted by the (not very interesting) floor that I didn't hear the soft sound of knocking on my door until a soft voice came from the other side.
"Serina? Can I come in sweetheart?"
Aunt Freda's muffled voice snapped me out of my trance, and I moved my legs so that they draped over the side of the bed, my bare feet making contact with the hard wooden floor. I sniffed once more, and tried to get rid of any tears that remained on my face. Once I was certain that I looked somewhat presentable, I cleared my throat and replied to Aunt Freda's question.
"Yeah, you can come in."
I see the doorknob to my door twist, and the door opened slowly, almost like it was mocking me about what was coming. I knew that Aunt Freda would try her best to make me feel better like she has done in the past, but to completely honest, I don't think even she could get rid of this feeling that I have. Aunt Freda's figure came into view as she stepped through the doorway and closed the door behind her. She turned herself towards me, her emerald eyes full of heartfelt concern. I avoided her gaze, turning my head away. I had told her what had happened at the Deplanetizer and how I blamed myself for the destruction of Novalis, and before she had had a chance to respond, I had retreated to my room, ashamed of myself. I hadn't wanted to hear what she was going to say. I was afraid that she would be disappointed in me. Now I was going to face her response head on, and I'm not going to lie, I was absolutely terrified.
She slowly made her way towards me, her feet shuffling along the floor. She eventually came to a stop beside me, and she slowly sat down on the bed. I stared into my lap with my hands resting on my thighs, gripping the fabric of my shorts tightly. I could feel Aunt Freda's eyes on me, but I refused to look at her.
I couldn't.
"Serina, look at me" Aunt Freda said, her soft voice encouraging me to respond. I didn't listen to her request, I just continued to stare into my lap, hoping that I would just disappear. That's when I felt a gentle hand under my chin. Aunt Freda used her hand to lift my chin upwards and turn my head slightly, so now her gaze was locked with mine. I swallowed the huge lump in my throat, and waited for her say something.
"Sweetheart, why on earth did you betray your friends like that? They were only trying to protect you, so why go with the person you were trying to defeat?"
Shoot, I knew she would ask that question.
I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, but I blinked them away. I'm not going to cry in front of her, I've done too much of that in the past already. I breathed in deeply, and tried to speak.
"I-I…"
I tried to say something, but my words were caught in my throat. I could feel the tears in my eyes again.
Oh god, please don't cry. Don't cry, don't…
As soon as one single tear slid down my cheek, a waterfall of tears followed, small sobs erupting from my body. In an instant, I fell forward and collapsed into Aunt Freda's arms, wrapping my arms around her.
"I-I'm so sorry Aunt Freda! I'm sorry! I d-don't know why I did it! I just don't know…" I sobbed, squeezing my eyes shut as tears continued to fall down my face. I felt Aunt Freda's hand move to my head as she ran her fingers through my long black hair.
"Shhh sweetheart, it's okay. But you know, I'm not the one you should be apologising too."
I leaned back slightly so I was looking at her again, confused by what she meant. Tears were still sliding down my cheeks, and I was positive that my eyes were bloodshot from all the crying I was doing. Aunt Freda placed a hand on my cheek, wiping away a stray tear away with her thumb.
"You need to go see him" She said simply, a small smile appearing on her lips. It took a second, but it finally clicked.
"You mean Ratchet? A-Aunt Freda, I don't think I-I can. He must h-hate me…" I said, my voice lowering to a soft whisper. Aunt Freda shook her head.
"You don't know that. The only way to fix everything is to go see him and talk things over."
"No offence, but I don't think just talking is going to cut it" I replied, moving away from Aunt Freda and standing up from the bed, turning my back to her and folding my arms over my chest, trying to comfort myself. I hear Aunt Freda stand up and walk over to me, placing her hands on my shoulders and giving them a small squeeze.
"You will never know until you try sweetheart. Look, in situations like these, forgiveness isn't easy, I know that much. But if you want to make things right with Ratchet and the others, you are going to have be brave and take a chance, even if it ends badly" She said, moving one hand from my shoulder to lightly stroke my head. I sighed deeply.
As much as I didn't want to admit it, she had a point.
If I wanted to fix this, I had to make the first move. I turned around so that I was facing Aunt Freda once more, and I wrapped my arms around her in one last hug. She chuckled softly as she returned the gesture, giving my back a small pat with her hand. After a moment we separated, Aunt Freda giving me a heart-warming smile.
"So, I'm judging by that expression on your face that you've decided to take a chance then?" She asked, raising her eyebrow in amusement. It took a second to realise what she meant. I didn't notice until she pointed it out, but a huge grin was plastered onto my face. I bet if I looked in the mirror right now I would look like an idiot.
"You bet. And if things don't work out between Ratchet and I, I know I'll always have you beside me" I said. I rushed over to the door and opened it, but before I went through the doorway, I looked back over my shoulder. Aunt Freda stood in the middle of the room, her hands resting on her chest, her green eyes shining with happiness.
"Aunt Freda?" I said, my hand still clutching the door handle. A slightly confused look came over her face, but she answered me anyway.
"Yes?"
"Thank you. For everything."
I gave her one last smile before I turned my head back around and ran out of my room and down the hallway. When I came to the stair case that leads to the first floor, instead of taking the stairs, I sat on the handrail and slid down it until I reached the bottom. I leapt off the rail and sprinted towards the front door, my heart racing and strands of hair sticking to my face. I pushed open the doors and bolted outside and into the harsh Veldin sun. I kept running forward until a thought came to my mind. I skidded to a halt, my feet slipping slightly on the rocky ground. I faceplamed, laughing at myself. I was so determined to make things right with Ratchet, I hadn't thought about I was supposed to get there. I couldn't walk to the garage, that's for sure. I could see the outline of it in the distance, but even if I tried, my body wouldn't be able to handle walking in the heat. I didn't have a ship either, so that was out too. I racked my brain trying to figure out a way to get there, when I heard a small chuckle from behind me. I turned to find Aunt Freda standing in front of the entrance to the orphanage with something in her hands.
"I think you forgot something" She said simply, holding out the object in front of her. The thing she was holding was my jetpack, the one that Captain Qwark had given me. I laughed out loud, rubbing the back of my neck with my hand in embarrassment.
"Yeah, it seems I did."
I jogged over to Aunt Freda, took the jetpack, ushered a quick "thank you" and put on the jetpack, securing the harness and making sure it wouldn't undo itself. Once I was satisfied, I activated the jetpack, and in a matter of seconds, I was hovering in the air. I turned (not very well I might add, I mean come on, it's hard to turn around in mid-air!) around to give Aunt Freda a wave goodbye, which she returned enthusiastically. I turned back around, and thrusted forward, the jetpack giving a massive amount of speed. I soared through the air, enjoying the gentle breeze that met with my face.
This was it. This was my only chance to make things right. I can't imagine a life without Ratchet, not after everything we have been through. And if he doesn't want me in his life…
I have no choice, but to accept it.
It wasn't long before the garage came into full view, and I felt my heart start to pound in my chest. I took refuge behind a nearby boulder, landing on the ground with a solid thud. I undid the harness of my jetpack and took it off, placing it at my feet. I grabbed the top of the boulder, and standing on my tip toes, I glanced over the top of it. The garage door was wide open, and I could see two figures inside. Ratchet was one of them, he appeared to be sweeping. The second figure was smaller, and looked to be sitting on a small toolbox.
Clank.
To be honest, I was more afraid of Ratchet than I was of Clank. I mean, he was on the phoenix with Elaris when Novalis was destroyed, so I have no idea if he knows what I did, or if Ratchet has told him. Only one way to find out. I slowly moved away from my hiding place, so I was now out in the open. Ratchet had his back to me, so I felt less nervous, but my heart was still racing. I took a deep breath, and slowly made my way towards them, my feet making soft crunching sounds against the ground. As I got closer, Ratchet and Clank became more visible. Ratchet was sweeping the floor still, his tail swishing back and forth angrily. Clank on the other hand was just sitting on a red toolbox, watching Ratchet sweep. I swallowed the huge lump in my throat and continued to walk forward, when Clank turned his head and looked right at me. I paused mid stride, my heart pounding so loudly in my chest that I could barely hear myself think. Clank blinked a few times, then to my surprise, he gave me a small wave.
"Hello Miss Evelyn" He said. I didn't respond at first, mostly because I couldn't figure out what he was feeling. That's the one thing that bugs me about robots, most of the time they don't show emotions, so I had no idea if Clank was mad at me. I smiled awkwardly at him, and waved back.
"Uh, Hi Clank." I glanced over at Ratchet, who had stopped sweeping suddenly, he was pretty much frozen in place. I gulped, and diverted my attention back to Clank. I folded my arms in front of me, my nervousness increasing each second.
"So… Did Ratchet tell you what happened?" I asked, curious to see Clank's response.
"Yes."
"Are you… Are you mad at me?"
"I cannot say at this moment in time" He says blankly.
That wasn't the reaction I was expecting, but in all honesty, it made me feel a bit better. But Clank wasn't who I was worried about. I looked over at Ratchet again, who was still in the same position, gripping the broom with his back to me. I took a step towards him. It was now or never.
"Ratchet, look I'm-"
"Save it." He suddenly cut me off, his voice low and dripping with anger. He placed the broom down, and turned around to face me. And I'm not going to lie when I say that I took a step back.
The look he was giving me was one of pure hatred, anger, hurt, and pretty much every negative emotion you could think of was mixed into this one expression. His emerald eyes were piercing into me, sending a cold chill up my spine. I had never seen this side of Ratchet before, and it was quite scary. But I needed to make things right.
I had to.
I took another step forward, my mind desperately searching for something to say.
"Please, just let me explain-"
"I don't wanna listen to anything you have to say" He retaliated, his ears lowering and his tail swishing in frustration. That's when he turned his back to me and started to walk away. I stood there for a moment, not sure what to do. Is this what I came all the way here for? To be shut down without even getting a chance to apologize? I shook my head. No way was I going to take that for an answer. I walked right up to Ratchet and placed my hand on his shoulder to stop him from walking away.
"Ratchet wait-"
Suddenly, he whipped around… And shoved me.
He shoved me.
The force of his shove caused me to fall backwards and land on my back with a painful thud. My head made contact with the hard floor, and for a split second, my vision blurred. After a brief moment of dizziness, I sat up slowly, clutching my head, which was throbbing. I looked at Ratchet, who was breathing heavily and his hands were clenched into fists.
"Don't you ever touch me again, traitor." He spat the words out like they were poison. That last word echoed through my head.
Traitor.
He was right. I was a traitor. That's when I felt a cold hand on my arm. I turned to see Clank, who had a sympathetic look on his face. He turns his head to Ratchet.
"Ratchet, that was uncalled for. She was just trying to-"
"Shut it Clank! This is between me and her" He snapped, his eyes blazing with fury. My mouth opened in shock at Ratchet's words. He had never talked to Clank like that before, so hearing him say that made my nerves increase dramatically. If he was willing to speak to him like that, he was a lot angrier than I thought. Clank didn't seem phased by Ratchet's outburst though, which was surprising to say the least. I turned my head to Clank and gave his hand that was still resting on my arm a gentle pat, before I slowly stood up, my balance surprisingly stable despite how hard I had hit the ground. I was still scared though.
I wanted to run. I wanted to run away and hide, I wanted to hide forever. But…
I couldn't.
Not now, not when I'm so close. I felt a surge of confidence flow through me, and with that, I spoke.
"If you think that shoving me will make me leave, you're wrong" I said, brushing off any unwanted dirt off of my shorts. I gazed into his eyes, anger still present within them. His hands were back to being clenched into fists, his posture stiff and defensive, like he was expecting me to come near him again. I knew better than that of course, so I stayed where I was.
"Look, I know I'm the last person you want to see right now, and I know that you probably hate me. But believe me, you have every right to."
Ratchet stayed silent, so that gave me the courage to keep talking.
"I know that what I did is unforgivable, and I deserved that shove. But, I want to make things right with you, with the Galactic Rangers. I want to be friends with you again" I said, surprisingly calmly. I hadn't broken eye contact with Ratchet through the whole thing, and I noticed that for a brief moment, his eyes seemed to show the tiniest hint of regret. But it was gone in a matter of seconds, replaced once again with anger and hurt. I knew that what I had said so far wasn't going to be enough, so I kept going.
"Before everything, my childhood and my life was… a huge mess. I was teased every day for being different, and let's just say that I've dealt with more than a simple shove." I paused again, hoping that one little detail would sink in. It seemed to work somewhat, cause Ratchet's ears seemed to twitch slightly at the word "shove", and that tiny look of regret had resurfaced.
"I felt like every day was just another day. Another day to be teased and ridiculed, another day of crying and wondering why my family left me. I had nothing to smile about, nothing to laugh about. My life was literally like a living nightmare." With each word, Ratchet's demeanour seemed to change from blind rage and anger to genuine regret, but it was still too early to tell for sure.
"But then I met you."
A look of surprise fell upon Ratchet's face, his ears perking up slightly. A small smile crept upon my face at his reaction, but I knew that I had to keep going.
"When we met, you didn't show any signs of disgust or fear towards me, you accepted me for who I was. When I was with you, I was able to laugh, to smile! I was able to live, knowing that you were my friend. And I would do anything to get you to trust me again." I paused for the last time, taking a deep breath, preparing myself for the final thing that I was going to say to him.
"What I'm trying to say is that I'm truly sorry. And I understand if you don't want to see me anymore." With that, I turned around and started to walk away from Ratchet and Clank, my heart feeling like it was being ripped in two. I wasn't expecting Ratchet to stop me from leaving, because by the look on his face, it seemed like he would never forgive me. I could feel the tears slowly sliding down my cheeks, my hands hanging loosely at my sides. That's when I felt a hand grab my own, stopping me in my tracks. I turned my head suddenly to find Ratchet standing there, his hand tightly gripping mine.
He was crying.
Tears dampened his orange fur, his emerald eyes glassy from the tears that continued to stream down his face. It was a strange sight, seeming him cry. I hadn't seen him do it before. We both stood there for a moment, unable to say anything to one another. That's when Ratchet spoke, a smile appearing on his face.
"I forgive you."
I stood there, my mind trying to process what he just said.
He forgives me.
He forgives me.
My legs felt like jelly, and before I knew it, I collapsed onto my knees, my emotions spiralling out of control. Tears fell down my face like a waterfall, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop them. Through my blurred vision, I could see Ratchet look at me sympathetically, tears still present on his face. He then proceeded to pull me towards him and wrap his arms around me, hugging me tightly. Since I was on my knees, I was now the same height as him, my head now resting on his shoulder. I instantly returned the hug, my arms squeezing him tighter than I probably should have, but he didn't seem to mind. Neither of us spoke during that moment, there was no need to. After a minute or so of silence, we separated, myself wiping away some tears that had managed to escape. Ratchet had stopped crying too, but his fur was still damp from when his tears had fallen down his cheeks. I smiled at him brightly, a small giggle escaping my mouth. He returned the smile, his green eyes shining. I hear Clank clear his throat, and Ratchet and I both turned to see him standing not too far away from where we were. How long had he been standing there? An Idea suddenly came to mind, and in an instant, I leapt to my feet and picked the little robot up in my arms, holding him tightly.
"Don't think I forgot about you little guy!" I exclaimed, laughing out loud as I nuzzled his antenna. He giggled in response, his bright green eyes shining brightly. Ratchet laughed as well, also nuzzling the robot's head.
"I'm sorry pal, for snapping at you like that."
"It is quite alright Ratchet, I know you did not mean it" Clank replied, as I placed him back down on the ground. A small smirk appeared on my face, as a funny thought came to mind.
"You know Ratchet, I wonder what Cora would say when she finds out that you cried" I said, raising an eyebrow at him mischievously. Ratchet smirked.
"You wouldn't dare." His voice was plagued with sarcasm, but I decided to play along.
"Oh I would. It would be payback for shoving me earlier. So… See ya sucker!" I said, breaking into a run, pretending to go find Cora and tell her about Ratchet. This is what we did when no one else was around, muck about and make fun of each other.
"Hey! Get back here!" Ratchet exclaimed, running after me, laughing out loud as we ran around the garage like a bunch of children.
I finally felt like my life was going the way I wanted it to, I felt like this was how my childhood was supposed to be like. And for the first time ever…
I felt like life was worth living.