Let's Be Us Again

(Brennan's point of view)

"Booth you are going to be alright. Come on, I'm right here. BOOTH! Come on Booth!" The words echo in my head. No matter what I do, I can't get the memories of that night to stop haunting me. I can still see his eyes pleading for me to help him, to hold on to him and make everything better. I wanted to make all the pain go away. To everyone else it appears that I have dealt with his death and have moved on, but they don't know what is going on inside my head. Inside I'm drowning. I don't know how to feel without Booth. I don't know how to process that he is gone. When Angela speaks I barely hear her.

"I have to go the funeral and I need my best friend there." I nod in agreement.

It isn't that I don't want to be there. He was my partner, but going to his funeral means that he is really gone and I don't know if I can handle that. This is Booth, the man I thought was invincible and nothing could touch him. If I go to his funeral it will mean that he is really dead and that can't be possible.

There are flowers everywhere to honor the man that everyone respected and loved. The sky is so blue and the sun is shining as if all is right in the world. How could the world be so bright and blue without Booth? I'm in a fog, but I can hear Caroline talking. She is talking about how Booth made the ultimate sacrifice to save his partner. When I hear this my emotions threaten to overtake me.

All of these emotions are coming to the top and I know that if this doesn't end soon I'm going to lose it. I shouldn't be here. None of us should be here.

"That woman was aiming the gun at me and I would have happily taken the bullet," I say out loud, but only Angela can hear me. She reassures me that she knows that I would have saved Booth if I had the opportunity. Booth should be alive and yet Caroline is still talking about the man that he was and about God.

"If there really was a God, why wouldn't he have saved Booth," I say angrily to Angela.

Suddenly there is a commotion and I can't figure out what is going on. Why is someone fighting at a funeral? Who is that man and why is that guard fighting with him? That guard….oh my God…..that guard. It can't be.

Before I have time to process anything, the casket is knocked over and the fake body falls out. I realize at that moment that he needs my help. And even though the only emotion I have at the moment is anger, I have to help save him. All the built up emotion and anger I have had for the past 2 weeks comes out as I knock the mystery man unconscious that the "guard" was fighting with.

"Bones, nice shot!"

There standing in front of me is my partner. The man I have grieved for, the man that I would have died for. He is alive. How could this be? The anger is coursing through my veins. He can see in my face that I am fighting every emotion possible.

"What?"

And then I let my anger go once more and I hit him as hard as I can and walk away.

He is following me into the lab, trying to make me understand that I should have been told, but the pain is still there.

"After I got shot, the bureau faked my death so I could finally get that guy."

"I don't care."

"I drove him underground! He said the only way we would see him again was at my funeral."

I cut him off. "I don't care."

He's talking to Hodgins about National security and protocol and I keep walking. I want to hurt him, the way he hurt me. I try to act like I don't care.

"I knew I shouldn't have gone to that funeral. It was a complete waste of time just like I said."

"Wait a second you thought my funeral was a waste of time?"

Everyone is talking about the funeral and I just keep walking. I need to move on before my emotions get the best of me again.

"Just know that I won't be attending your next funeral," I spout another attempt to hurt him to make him feel what I'm feeling.

"Bones, I'm telling you, you were supposed to know that I wasn't really dead. I swear. That is why I thought you weren't crying."

"Informed by whom exactly," asked Cam.

"I gave a list of people to the bureau to inform that I was not really dead. You know if they didn't tell you, it's not my fault."

"Dr. Brennan is actually upset because she had to face strong emotions that she would rather deny. Striking Agent Booth shows the depth of her feelings for him. It was very passionate act," responded Dr. Sweets.

My mind is swimming with emotions right now. How can Sweets know what I'm feeling? I look at him as if he is completely wrong about my emotions.

Suddenly Booth is in my face agreeing with Sweets. "Thank you. Did you hear that? PASSION!"

I am in his face now. My anger is showing far more than I wanted to, but he let me believe he was dead and I can't forgive him for that.

"Yes because anger is a Passion! Anger at being manipulated, pretending to be dead..." I scream as Zack interrupts my rant.

Booth can clearly see he isn't getting through to me, so he walks away.

The package Zack hands me changes everything. It is time to go back to work. Time to figure out how Gormogon got in the lab, but I can't concentrate. My mind is still reeling from what just happened. How could I not know? How could he have not called me? Does he know the agony I have been in for 2 weeks? As he leaves the lab I want to follow him. I'm terrified that if he walks out the door I will never see him again. What if the past hour has all been a dream and he is really gone. Reality sets in and I have to get back to work. Will we work this out? Will we be us again?

Tell me what I have to do tonight
Cause I'd do anything to make it right
Let's be us again
I'm sorry for the way I lost my head
I don't why I said the things I said
Let's be us again

(Booth's point of view)

As I walk into my apartment I can still hear the hurt in her voice, "Yes because anger is a Passion! Anger at being manipulated, pretending to be dead..."

How could this have happened? She was supposed to know. Why didn't I call her to make sure she knew? I did what I promised her I would never do. I left her just like everyone else in her life has. That is why she is so angry.

Suddenly the door opens and there she is standing in my bathroom, clearly still angry. I am shocked that she is there and at first I'm not sure what to say. I want to make her understand that I never meant to hurt her and that I would never purposely leave her. I would do anything right now to make this right between us.

Before I have a chance to say anything she is yelling again about not being told. I'm trying to reason with her, but she is angry and she has every right to be. I get that now.

"Why didn't you call me, Booth?"

"I thought you knew and I had to be careful. I couldn't break protocol."

"Protocol? You have broken protocol many times before nearly risking my life in the process, but I can see that you clearly have no real concern for me."

I can't believe she just said that. How can she not know that she means the world to me and that I would do anything to protect her? Suddenly my emotions get the best of me and I stand up in the bathtub and yell at her.

"I took a bullet for you!"

She responds loudly, "Once! And that only goes so far." Her voice is cracking. She is clearly upset.

I freeze. What do I do now? I'm standing here completely naked and vulnerable in front of her. She asks me if I would like a towel never looking past my face. I finally realize the best solution is to sit back down in the water.

Here I stand with everything to lose
All I know is I don't wanna ever see the end
Baby please, I'm reachin out for you
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in
Lets be us again
Ooh Us again

"Fine, Bones. What is it you think I should have done?"

"You could have called me. Don't you trust me?"

With my life I thought. "Of course I trust you."

"Then why wasn't I notified? Aren't you curious as to why I wasn't told?"

"Do you want me to find out why you weren't told?"

"If it is important to you," she replies.

You are what is important to me and making us right again, but all I respond is "fine I'll find out."

Look at me I'm way past pride
Isn't there some way that we can try
To be us again

She steps out of the bathroom for me to get dressed. It is time we really talk. I want to know everything that she went through and I want to make her understand that I never meant to hurt her. When I walk out of the bathroom and into my living room I see her sitting on my couch. I watch her from the door way. She hasn't seen me come into the room yet so I take advantage of just looking at her. Two weeks without any contact with her was pure torture. When did she become the most important part of my life?

Even if it takes a while
I'll wait right here until I see that smile
That says we're us again

Never again will I leave her. I'm going to figure out how to make this work for us. I'm going to make her understand what she means to me and that I am falling in love with her. That's really what this is all about. I'm in love with Bones. And I want her to know the agony I went through being away from her for 2 weeks. It's time she knows everything. She turns around at that moment and she sees me and smiles. I know we are going to be alright and I know we are going to be us again.

Here I stand with everything to lose
All I know is I don't wanna ever see the end
Baby please, I'm reachin out for you
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in
Let's be us
Ohhh

(Brennan's point of view)

I just slid the bathroom door shut and walked slowly to the living room. What is happening? How could I have just walked in on Booth like that? He was in the bathtub, naked. For 2 weeks I thought he was dead and now a very alive Booth is getting dressed in the bathroom. Maybe I should just leave before my emotions get the best of me again. This day has been an emotional roller coaster. How do you tell someone that they mean the world to you and that you are so grateful for every breath that they take?

Here I stand with everything to lose
All I know is I don't wanna ever see the end
Baby please, I'm reachin out for you
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in
Let's be us
Ohhh

Baby baby, what would I do
Can't imagine life without you

What would I have done if I lost him? How many people get a second chance when they think someone died? I have him back and I need for him to know what I went through. He needs to know how empty my life was without him. He thinks I didn't cry over his death, little does he know that I cried myself to sleep almost every night. And the nights I didn't cry myself to sleep, I woke up to nightmares of that night, nightmares so powerful that I could feel the blood seeping through my fingers as I tried to save him. He needs to know that I'm falling in love with him. That's it. I'm in love with Booth. This is my second chance to get it right this time.

I turn around and I see him standing in the door way. He is alive. I smile at him and he knows that I'm okay. That we are going to be okay.

Here I stand with everything to lose
All I know is I don't wanna ever see the end
Baby please I'm reachin out for you
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in
Oh here I am I'm reachin out for you
Won't you open up your heart and let me come back in
Lets be us again
Oh, let's be us again