Resident Evil:
Chris' Real POV
Chapter 1
Lately Chris has'nt been able to quit thinking about the horrors of the "resicence" or the arctic base. "Come to think of it, those were really funny..." he thought.
Chris began writing a humor about his "horrible" experience.
We were all in the chopper headed for Racoon Forest. Barry was fixing his gun. What else is new.
"I don't think he found teh chewing gum in the barrel of his Colt Python." Chris said to himself. Then he remembered Barry saying, "This gun smells "minty" fresh."
"Oops... Maybe he did know." Chris said.
Anyway, aftre he said that I quickly stood so that he did'nt notice that my breath was "minty fresh" and knocked on the pilot door. "Wesker! Joeseph! let me in!" I said. It took'em a few minutes but they finally let me in. They looked ruffled and when Wesker asked me what I wanted and I said "Nothin' really. Just killin time." he yelled at me to get out and when he turned around I noticed white stuff on the seat of his pants.
"Leaving!" said with a grotesquely twisted look on my face, and I "quickly" left the pilot room.
"Yeeek! I heard Jill scream. I ran over and asked her what was wrong.
"A rat!" she yelled. "It's under that chair!"
I reached under and pulled out a gerbil. Everyone stared at me. "What?" I hid it behind my back. "It's nothin." I stuffed it into my pocket. "Charlie, you are'nt suppose to scare Jill. Even if it is fun." I whispered to it.
"Chris, are you talking to your pants? Again?" asked Jill.
"Uh n... uh yeah... They make... uh... interesting... uh... conversation." I said.
"Chris." Jill said with what seemed to me a touch of love in her voice.
"Yeah?" I replied 'expectantly.'
Jill said, "Stay within a 10 yard radius of me at all times."
Suddenly the radio on my belt crackled, "Oohoohoo. Chris thought he was gonna get some." said a voice recognized as Rebecca's. "Well, I've gotta go be mindlessly scared some more until you save me so it was nice talkin to ya."
"Kick. Uhhhhh!" a noise crackled over the radio.
"Yeeek! It fell off!" Rebecca screamed.
"Crrrkkk..." the radio went off.
"That was random," I said.
"We're coming in for a landing." Joseph said over the PA.
"Hey Jill!" I said "I know why Joseph just sounded so tired."
"Why?" Jill asked as Wesker and Joseph walked up.
"Because..." I started.
"SMACK!" Wesker hit me on the head.
"Oww..." I moaned.
"Don't talk out of line!" Wesker yelled at me.
"Wesker..." Jill said. "You've got something on your butt."
Barry was still working on his gun. I walked up to him, "Hey, Barry! Time to..." words came up at Chris' waist:
BARRY IS INVESTIGATING
"Wha?!" I said. "Cheap! This is my humor! Not my game!"
"Barry! Quit investigating, it gets on my nerves! You do it too much!" I yelled.
Joseph opened the door and everyone walked out single file.
*Jill's POV*
"Bing!" sounded a noise like something hitting metal. Jill turned around and saw Chris laying flat on his face.
"What happened, Chris?" she asked.
Chris slightly lifted his head. "Some... gum... stuck... to... my... shoe... Uhh." He put his face back down flat.
*Back to Chris' POV*
"Heh. heh. heh." Barry laughed.
Chris' Real POV
Chapter 1
Lately Chris has'nt been able to quit thinking about the horrors of the "resicence" or the arctic base. "Come to think of it, those were really funny..." he thought.
Chris began writing a humor about his "horrible" experience.
We were all in the chopper headed for Racoon Forest. Barry was fixing his gun. What else is new.
"I don't think he found teh chewing gum in the barrel of his Colt Python." Chris said to himself. Then he remembered Barry saying, "This gun smells "minty" fresh."
"Oops... Maybe he did know." Chris said.
Anyway, aftre he said that I quickly stood so that he did'nt notice that my breath was "minty fresh" and knocked on the pilot door. "Wesker! Joeseph! let me in!" I said. It took'em a few minutes but they finally let me in. They looked ruffled and when Wesker asked me what I wanted and I said "Nothin' really. Just killin time." he yelled at me to get out and when he turned around I noticed white stuff on the seat of his pants.
"Leaving!" said with a grotesquely twisted look on my face, and I "quickly" left the pilot room.
"Yeeek! I heard Jill scream. I ran over and asked her what was wrong.
"A rat!" she yelled. "It's under that chair!"
I reached under and pulled out a gerbil. Everyone stared at me. "What?" I hid it behind my back. "It's nothin." I stuffed it into my pocket. "Charlie, you are'nt suppose to scare Jill. Even if it is fun." I whispered to it.
"Chris, are you talking to your pants? Again?" asked Jill.
"Uh n... uh yeah... They make... uh... interesting... uh... conversation." I said.
"Chris." Jill said with what seemed to me a touch of love in her voice.
"Yeah?" I replied 'expectantly.'
Jill said, "Stay within a 10 yard radius of me at all times."
Suddenly the radio on my belt crackled, "Oohoohoo. Chris thought he was gonna get some." said a voice recognized as Rebecca's. "Well, I've gotta go be mindlessly scared some more until you save me so it was nice talkin to ya."
"Kick. Uhhhhh!" a noise crackled over the radio.
"Yeeek! It fell off!" Rebecca screamed.
"Crrrkkk..." the radio went off.
"That was random," I said.
"We're coming in for a landing." Joseph said over the PA.
"Hey Jill!" I said "I know why Joseph just sounded so tired."
"Why?" Jill asked as Wesker and Joseph walked up.
"Because..." I started.
"SMACK!" Wesker hit me on the head.
"Oww..." I moaned.
"Don't talk out of line!" Wesker yelled at me.
"Wesker..." Jill said. "You've got something on your butt."
Barry was still working on his gun. I walked up to him, "Hey, Barry! Time to..." words came up at Chris' waist:
BARRY IS INVESTIGATING
"Wha?!" I said. "Cheap! This is my humor! Not my game!"
"Barry! Quit investigating, it gets on my nerves! You do it too much!" I yelled.
Joseph opened the door and everyone walked out single file.
*Jill's POV*
"Bing!" sounded a noise like something hitting metal. Jill turned around and saw Chris laying flat on his face.
"What happened, Chris?" she asked.
Chris slightly lifted his head. "Some... gum... stuck... to... my... shoe... Uhh." He put his face back down flat.
*Back to Chris' POV*
"Heh. heh. heh." Barry laughed.