Slice Bryce.

"Dying is a mountain, best eaten without shame."

--Ancient Borneo Proverb.

"If I were to find a way to create with this bullet, a time portal in which you can run to the moon or something, would you pay money for it?"

"...I'm not sure I follow..."

"No, you're wrong. This is me at my most masochistic."

"No one ever doubted that, sir."

"Good." A gunshot rang throughout the chapel.

I used to have a job. A life. A family, of sorts. I killed people. Some people make hats, some baskets, some dance, some swim, some even write, but I... I used to have a job. I killed people for a living. There's no shame in it, never was, just like some people need hats or baskets, some people need to die; thusly, I was providing a valuable commodity to the people of the world. I was employed by a man named Bryce; a fisherman by trade, he was able to spot a certificate of authenticity on some sort of odd planetary... Uh... Wait... No, Fisherman by trade, superhero by night... Or... Mild mannered reporter for the Daily Bugle? Wait... No, Bryce was NOT a fisherman by trade, he was a helicopter pilot by trade. But he was more than that. He was our leader, and, in some ways, our father.

He called us the Secret Assassination/Reconnaissance Squad, or "SARS" for short. We worked for money, trying and trying to make ends meet, but we didn't really require housing, no matter how much we actually required housing. Instead of housing, he provided us with lodging, but we were encouraged to not make lives elsewhere, outside of SARS or Bryce. One of our members was a woman named "Sk00t'r." I'm not sure if Sk00t'r was her real name, because her parents, while being perfectly humorous people, I'm sure, wouldn't necessarily name their daughter Sk00t'r, what with the two zeroes and the apostrophe and all. It might have been a code name.

Anyway, Sk00t'r got married and started a family, and had a little daughter named Deputy Governor Danforth Sk00t'r II. Now, I'm not sure if her real name was Deputy Governor Danforth, or if her last name is Sk00t'r, all I know is that she was black. Anyway, the point of that story is, I soon got pregnant with Bryce's child. This would complicate my ability to kill correctly, and I might make a mistake, like being pregnant or something, and since I WAS in fact pregnant, there was no guarantee that I would ever be able to work for Bryce the same way again. So I decided to name my daughter Revered Hale of Beverly once she was born, and I ran.

I met a nice man, whose name I cannot seem to recall, and within a week, we were to be married. I was in the chapel, with all the guests, and the wedding was about to commence when ALL of a SUDDEN, the entire SARS gang burst through the chapel. I was afraid, and angry, as you probably may have guessed, because even though I SPECIFICALLY wrote "RSVP" on their invitations, so that I could know how much fish to order for the reception, they did NOT RSVP. So there I was, in the wedding chapel with not enough fish to feed everyone. Anyway, the wedding was about to go on as planned, when all of the sudden, The SARS gang whipped out their guns and started shootin' everyone in sight, killin' 'em all execution style. It was pretty bloody. Then, they grabbed me and beat the crap outta me and left me for dead on the floor. Then Bryce came. And shot me.

And so, as surely as God made little green apples, I will Slice Bryce.