A/N: Get ready for something weird. Something so weird, you might have confused looks on your expressions as you read this.
For, this is my stab at comedy: MWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Light Gets Traumatized
L twirled his spoon around gracefully before inserting yet another bit of ice cream into his mouth. He glanced over at Light, the man he suspected of being Kira and the one he was handcuffed to. He wondered if the day would ever come in which he would come out the victor.
In the mean time, Light watched the computer avidly for any signs of activity only to find none with each look. Even though he did this willingly, he really hated his job. He missed killing people who "deserved to die" in his eyes.
"Soon," his dark conscious mind reassured him, "Soon, you will rule the world."
"Yes," Light cackled to himself. "Yes, I will."
"Will what, Light-kun?"
His brown eyes landed disdainfully on his rival L, who he swore to kill one day.
"I will graduate from college. I look forward to it," he lied, of course.
Once these words left his lips, Light thought he heard a rustling noise that seemed to originate from the ceiling of the hotel. It annoyed him somewhat, but he coolly averted his gaze to the computer again. Hopefully, he had merely thought he heard that swishing; just when he rested faith in this, though, the ceiling trembled from too much weight and pressure.
"Ryuzaki, did you hear that noise?"
"Yes, now that you mention it. It sounds as if it came from the ceiling, which is probably the source. In fact—"
L didn't have to say another word, for the ceiling collapsed.
A scream could be heard from the next floor above (coming from Misa, no surprise) as several fluffy puffballs descended onto the floor.
When Light leapt up to investigate this situation, dragging L with him, he noted that these balls of fluff were none other than...
Hamsters.
A series of horrible flashbacks rushed through Light's mind when he saw these monstrosities. One memory that particularly stood out, however, was one in which he grasped onto his bleeding hand when a hamster bit him.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" he screamed and nearly fell down due to his tremendous phobia of the everyday pets. Why had they come back to haunt him? All he had ever done in the past few months was pass judgment on people. Was that so wrong?
"Hi," the leader of the group waved with a tiny paw, "I'm Hamtaro and these other hamsters are the Ham-Hams."
"T—Talking hamsters?!?" Light stuttered. "Since when have there been talking hamsters in the world?"
At this point, L sensed a bead of perspiration trickle down his temple; all he could make out of the hamsters was just a bunch of various squeaks. Even a few came from Light. He pondered over all the possible ideas that Light Yagami aka Kira could have in his mind. The other members of the task force and Misa practically destroyed the door to see who had screamed.
"Light, are you OK?" Misa shrieked, rushing over to her "boyfriend's" side.
Light managed to gather enough breath to say, "Yes, Misa, I'm fine. It's just these hamsters talked."
Hamtaro chirruped, "Of course we did! But only you can understand us because your dead hamster bit you all those years ago."
"Mr. Fluff-Fluff, you mean?" Light muttered pensively. "How do you know about Mr. Fluff-Fluff?!?"
"Word gets by quickly in the hamster world," another Ham-Ham squeaked.
L, still confused by Light's squeaking, sighed. "This is getting ridiculous. For some reason I can't even begin to comprehend, Yagami-san, your son has been squeaking to the hamsters."
"I didn't know Light was part hamster!" Matsuda tried to joke, earning agonized looks from the other members.
"Be quiet, Matsuda," Aizawa scolded.
Soichiro Yagami thought over L's words as to the mental condition of his son. It was strange that Light had decided to try speaking hamster language.
"Light usually doesn't act like this."
"I'm fine, Dad. It's just these hamsters, in all honesty, creep me out."
"That is a strange phobia indeed... I never heard of such a case," L pointed out.
"I'm not crazy, everyone! I am perfectly sane...perfectly sane...perfectly..."
"Don't worry, Light, I believe you," Misa attempted cheering him.
Light inwardly laughed at what would happen next; he was confident that he could do this. Unfortunately, a hamster bit him before he could enact his evil plot, just like Mr. Fluff-Fluff had.
"I don't trust you," he squeaked, "you're bad—you're the bad guy."
"I AM NOT THE BAD GUY, I AM JUSTICE!!!" Light shouted as he took out his Death Note, which had been hidden in his pants pocket for some reason.
"Now, all you stupid hamsters are going to receive the judgment that God will pass!"
Once he revealed the notebook to all, he scribbled down names of the hamsters. Why he knew their names was a weird occurrence in itself. Though, the most likely reason was that Ryuk, bored and in need of some entertainment, hissed the pets' names to him.
"Hahahahahahaha! Take that you furry idiots!" Light laughed his insanely chilling laugh.
"Hmm... I believe this increases the chances of Light-kun being Kira by a considerable margin—I would venture that it's ninety-five percent now."
A stunned Light glowered menacingly at L, who had managed to figure him out. Then, completely losing his mind, he yelled, "You'll never take me alive!" as he jumped out the window. Poor L forcibly went along for the ride.
Fortunately, the two of them landed on soft bags of garbage at a dumpster in the premises of the hotel.
"Like I said, Light, it's ninety-five percent. I suggest more confinement," L informed with a delicate smirk on his lips.
"But, I hated those damn hamsters!" Light screamed horribly.
A/N: This is what happens when Light goes crazy! I probably broke some of the Death Note rules and made the plot weird, but I don't care. I made this Death Note/ Hamtaro crossover, because some of Death Note's voice actors worked with that weird show, Brad Swaile included. He voiced Light by the way. Ah, so weird! You guys can review if you want, but man! I am one crazy person waiting to happen!