-in your arms-
Spoby post-2x25
-:-
"I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home…"
-"Arms" by Christina Perri
-:-
It was supposed to be over.
That was the one coherent thought running through Spencer's mind as she watched the coroners wheel Maya—or what they thought was Maya, she rationed, attempting optimism, but knowing, with their luck, there was little room for it—away, numbly, as Emily clung to her, her wracking sobs slowly breaking Spencer's heart.
It was supposed to be over.
After all, it was, in a way. Mona was locked up. Dr. Sullivan had returned. Garrett had been arrested. Her one true love, her Toby, had come back to her. The four friends knew who had been tormenting them for so long. They could move on. Be at peace. Find closure. But she should've known. Every time they closed a door, the universe violently kicked open another.
"She's gone. Oh my God," Emily sobbed, her tears streaking down her cheeks, glowing silver in the glare of the flashing police and ambulance sirens. "I never…I never got to-to say g-goodbye. I never…" she broke off, incoherent, and Spencer attempted to soothe her.
"Shhh…" she consoled, although she knew it was useless. "Maybe it's not Maya. Maybe she's still…"
"It's Maya," Emily croaked. "It has to be. Mona must've done this to her."
"That bitch," Hanna hissed vehemently, her blue eyes narrowing in rage. "Wait till I get my hands on her. I'm gonna…"
"Han, she's locked up, so there's no use to go making idle threats," Spencer said, willing the blonde to stop upsetting Emily more.
Hanna exhaled, her face crumpling. "Em, I am so, so sorry," she said, putting her arms around the dark-haired girl, a tear slipping down her cheek.
Aria joined the group embrace, looking pale in the flashing lights. "I know you don't believe us right now, but it will be okay," she murmured.
For a long moment, the four friends hugged, gripping one another like a lifeline. They had been each other's constant support throughout the A drama, and they felt as if they could always count on each other. They had been through Hell and back, but had never turned on each other. They were practically her sisters, more so than her real sister, Spencer mused. Closing her eyes, she silently prayed for them to easily get through this latest disaster.
"Emily?" the four friends looked up to see a teary-eyed Mrs. Fields before them, a tentative look on her lined face. "Honey, they want you to go down to the station for questioning. Do you want me to drive you?"
"Yeah," Emily rasped, wiping her brimming eyes. "Thanks, Mom."
Mrs. Fields nodded, smiling sadly, her own eyes welling. "No problem, sweetie. I'll see you in the car," she added, sensing that Emily needed a moment with her friends.
As her mother walked towards her green minivan, Emily turned to face her three closest friends. "I better go," she sniffled.
"Oh, Em," Hanna reached up to hug her. "It'll be okay."
"We love you," Aria added, hugging her, too.
"Call us if you need anything," Spencer whispered, rubbing her shoulder.
Emily nodded shakily. "I'll…let you guys know what happens."
She headed off after her mother, leaving Spencer, Aria, and Hanna behind.
"And then there were three," Hanna said grimly.
"I can't believe it," Aria said.
"I know," Spencer sighed, closing her brown eyes.
It was supposed to be over. Why isn't it over?
"Spencer?"
Her eyes shot open at the familiar voice. Toby stood nearby, wearing a look of concern and confusion. Just seeing his face sent bolts of electricity—want and need and love—coursing through her veins. She ran, without any hesitation, into his welcoming arms, as he caught her reflexively. She buried her head in his shoulder, his fingers running through her silky brown waves, his strong arms holding her close, protecting her.
And she was home.
Suddenly, all the emotions from the past few weeks caught up to her, and she burst into tears, pressing herself closer to him. Toby immediately hugged her closer, smoothing her hair.
"Shhh…shhh, Spencer, it's okay. It's okay, I'm here. I'm here, Spence. It's okay. Shhh, don't cry." He whispered, attempting to staunch the flow of translucent droplets down her pale cheeks.
Eventually, her sobs slowed to whimpers, and she pulled back to see his face. Toby brushed away a still-falling tear with the pad of his thumb, his beautiful azure eyes filled with concern and love as he moved forward to lay a benevolent kiss on her temple.
"Spencer," he breathed, "What happened?"
"They-they found a body. They think it's Maya's but-but they're not sure." She managed, biting her lip to keep from crying again.
Toby looked shocked. "Where's Emily? Is she okay?"
Spencer sighed. "At the police station. She's…pretty devastated, obviously, but…" her voice trailed off. What more was there to say?
Toby brushed her fingers gently across her cheek. "And…are you okay?" he asked gently, his ocean-colored eyes swimming as he scanned her face.
She shook her head. "It's just…I thought it was all over. Mona's gone, Garrett got arrested…and we can all move on. But it's like, one disaster ends, and then another one happens. Like we can never catch a break."
As she finished speaking, Toby gently ran his hand through her dark hair, his heart breaking for her. He loved her so much that seeing her like this killed him. Why couldn't they just be together in complete peace, complete bliss, without any of the evils of the world closing in on them?
Toby kissed her forehead. "I'm so, so sorry, Spencer. I…I wish there was something I could do."
She looked up at him, her brown eyes peering up into his. Didn't he know how much he'd done just by being him? How much she owed him just for coming into her life, for giving her his unconditional, pure love? "Just hold me. Please, Toby."
His blue eyes welled up at the desperation in her voice as her hand wrapped tightly around his. "Always," he murmured reassuringly into her hair. "Spencer…I love you."
"I love you, too," she replied softly, her voice quivering as she spoke.
His eyes lit up in happiness as he registered what she had said.
And then slowly, their lips met.
The kiss started slow, but gradually grew more heated. When oxygen became a necessity again, the couple pulled away, Spencer's hand cupping Toby's cheek, his arm secured protectively around her slim waist.
"I didn't believe it," he suddenly murmured, looking into her eyes, stroking her cheek.
She looked up, her brows knitting in confusion. "Didn't believe what?"
"What Emily told me, about you and…" he stopped, knowing neither one of them was prepared to hear his name. "Anyway, I didn't believe her."
"Why?" she breathed.
"She's a bad liar. And…I trusted you. I trust you. That's why I wrote you the note. I wanted you to know that I never believed you would cheat on me, but even if you didn't…want me, I would still always love you."
A passage from the wrinkled, tearstained letter she had committed to memory, now tucked beneath her pillow, flashed through her mind: "You're the only person I've ever trusted, the one bright light in my life... I hope you know that I'm not leaving because I've erased you from my heart, but because I want you to be happy. I know now that maybe I'm not that guy, the one who sweeps you off your feet and who you want to spend the rest of your life with, but I know he's out there somewhere, and Spencer, I hope with all my heart that you find him, and that he's deserving of you. Because for me, you'll always be that girl. The girl I truly love…"
Toby continued, "And then…I realized that I loved you so much that I had to find answers on my own. I tracked down Dr. Sullivan, and she…she told me about A—er, Mona—and why you were being…"
"Distant," Spencer supplied.
Toby nodded. "Distant," he repeated. "And so when I came back, I thought Jenna might have something to do with all of it, so I tried to work on the inside. That's why I went back to being her loyal seeing eye. And that's why I had to keep my distance from you."
"So Jenna wouldn't get suspicious," Spencer said slowly, digesting Toby's story.
Toby nodded in confirmation, his blue irises boring lovingly into Spencer's. "Spence, those were the hardest few weeks of my life. I…You won't believe how many times I almost picked up the phone and called you. I missed you so, so much, I-"
"Toby," Spencer interrupted, gently placing her hand over his. "Toby. I missed you, too. So, so much. I'm so glad you came back. I don't know what I'd do if you hadn't." she buried her head in his shoulder, sighing in contentment as she felt his lips brush against her neck, his fingers running through her now-tangled dark hair. Toby loved her. He always had loved her. And somehow, even as her world had fallen apart that night, completely been thrown off-kilter and turned on its head, he managed to comfort her, to give her hope for a better tomorrow, to help her move on from this horrible space of time called today. To escape the scars and anguish of her past. To truly be reborn.
"Spence?" Spencer pulled away from Toby, turning to see Aria and Hanna standing a few feet away, wearing sad smiles, glad that their friend was reunited with someone they knew she loved, but still shaken up from the discovery of Maya's body.
"My mom called," Hanna said, toying with a blond curl. "She wants me at home tonight."
"So do my parents," Aria chimed in sympathetically. "Are you going to be okay by yourself?"
"Yeah," Spencer blurted automatically, although she knew that the impending nightmares almost certainly awaiting her would be horrific and vivid. "I'll be fine."
Aria and Hanna looked doubtful, but didn't object as they pulled Spencer into a three-way hug, Toby backing away a little to give Spencer some time with her friends. "Call us?" Hanna asked, pulling away.
Spencer nodded. "Be careful," she warned gently, touching Aria's shoulder.
Aria smiled slightly. "'Course. Team Sparia will touch base soon?"
"And Team Spanna?" Hanna put in, smiling a little too.
"Of course." Spencer's lips curled up a little in spite of herself.
"We love you Spence," Hanna said, giving her one last hug.
"Love you too," Spencer replied, grateful to have such loyal best friends. At least some good had come out of this mess.
"Call. Seriously," Aria said, pulling away and giving Spencer a hard look. Hanna gave her a sisterly kiss on the cheek, taking both her hands and affixing her baby blue eyes on her best friend. "Hey," the blond began, touching Spencer's arm, "I'm really, really glad Toby came back for you." A sincere smile washed over her features, and Spencer was once again struck by how lucky she was. Hanna was probably hurting so much over the revelation of "A" and the betrayal of knowing someone she once trusted had turned on her, yet she still conjured up happiness for Spencer.
"Thanks, Han," Spencer whispered, hugging her again. "Get some sleep, okay?"
Hanna nodded lightly. "Yes, mom." She flashed another watery smile at Spencer, before heading off after Aria.
Suddenly exhausted, Spencer turned back to face her concerned boyfriend. Boyfriend. I can call him my boyfriend again.
Toby leaned over, brushing a stray strand of hair away from her mocha-brown eyes, kissing her temple softly. "Do you really think I'm going to leave you alone tonight?"
Spencer tilted her head back to look into his hypnotic eyes. It would be easy enough to smuggle Toby into her house. Her parents were both out of town, and Melissa was sleeping in the barn. Plus, she really didn't want to be alone, either—especially not tonight, when the nightmares that she'd been suffering ever since Ali's disappearance would be at their prime. Not to mention the fact that she really, really, really wanted to cuddle up in Toby's warm, strong arms, desperate as she was to make up for the lost time between them.
"No," she breathed. "If I know you, then you'll probably insist on driving me home. You'll carry me up to bed and get me a glass of water. Maybe you'll even draw me up a bath, but you'll let me handle that part myself because you're such a gentleman. Then, you'll tuck me in and kiss me goodnight and hold me in your arms until you know I'm asleep." She swallowed, feeling a warm, airy feeling in her chest as she looked up at him. "And when I wake up, I'll be so happy, because even though my life has all the charm of a steel trap, it's okay. Because I have you, and that's all I could ever need."
Chuckling softly, he ran a hand through her hair, over her neck, and down her back, stopping at her waist.
"I guess you do know me," he teased softly, laying a kiss to the top of her head. "But if you have an objection to that plan…"
"No!" her amber-colored eyes widened in alarm at the prospect of ever leaving the comfort and safety of Toby's presence. "I mean, no. I'm fine with that plan."
Toby smiled down at her lovingly, and she felt her heart soar as he whispered, "That's my girl."
-:-
a/n: hey guys! so this is probably very, very late, since this is from 225 and we are now—gasps!—almost halfway through season three, but a dear friend of mine, Bree, gave me this prompt when i was bored out of my mind, so here it is. therefore, the idea credit goes to her—while the actual (crappy) story credit is mine. thanks again, Bree! love ya, chica! 3
anyway, this is a two-parter, and #2 should be up wednesday. and for those interested, i have another oneshot in the works, set to be published thursday, also derived from Bree's ingenuity. so stay tuned!
and don't forget to leave little ole me a review! i'll love you forever if you do ;)
xox, -Ana
p.s. finale tomorrow nite! how excited are you guys on a scale of screaming to jumping off buildings? tell me ;) #FinaleFever