Title: cast away the clouds
Summary: You could never love enough.
Word Count: 322
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Yet more angst. It'll never end. More overuse of italics. Again. And the drabble ends in Jacob/Bella, so for the Edward/Bella 'shippers out there...you might want to stay away from this.
Disclaimer: The Twilight Series isn't mine - it's all Stephenie Meyer's. The only thing I own is this drabble.
Notes: For Ely. Who else? 3 Oh, and this is from Bella's POV. "Him" in italics refers to Edward; "him" in regular text refers to Jacob. Okay, I'm shutting up now. Hope you like this, hon!
- - -
You have to hurt me to heal me.
-
You can't love him enough.
Enough to break you.
Never could.
-
You love him more than life itself. You will die and he'll (set you free) make you an eternal prisoner.
You've given too much of yourself to him (nearly all of you). You can only give him a small piece.
Give him more than that, you will cease to exist.
That's what happens when you're selfish. When you can't let go of them.
You could never love enough.
-
He won you over with his eyes of gold and way with words.
You're being unfair to him. To them both.
You can't stop yourself from wishing, from wanting more -
- Can't stop being selfish.
-
You didn't easily forgive him.
When he left you, your world crashed. He killed you. (You might as well had been dead.)
He left you, even after promising that he would never let go of you . . . yet he let you fall.
Leaving you was a mistake, he says -
- That's something you can't ever forgive.
(Thinking of it at all is condemning himself to hell.)
He kisses you for the last time and walks out of your life.
You don't cry.
The fairy tale is over.
Goodbye, Bella. I love you.
-
Soon you find yourself at his house. Your second home.
He doesn't say anything, only invites you inside.
You begin to slowly heal.
-
He doesn't let you fall. Never lets you go.
-
It wasn't that you couldn't love him enough -
- You wouldn't.
Loving you hurt him.
(His pain is your pain.)
You had nothing left of yourself to give back.
You didn't want him to suffer more than he already had.
He means too much to you.
-
You thought you loved him. He was your ideal man.
You wanted perfection -
- Didn't need it.
He was everything you wanted; he is all you need.
-
You have to lose me to find me.