"No, I mean I shouldn't be here, Jeremy. Why are you thinking about me while you're calling her?" Anna squinted her eyes at him, trying to scold him even though deep down, she was relieved that Jeremy still wanted her around for the moment.
"I didn't think I was!" he shot right back, causing her eyes to widen and head jerk back slightly in surprise. The frustration and confusion was clear on the sixteen year old's face and Anna couldn't help but feel sympathetic towards him. "Look, I don't know, okay? I don't know what I'm doing, Anna." He continued, but then Jeremy saw her reaction and amended his statement, his whole body softening this time and his tone dropped lower. "The problem is I-.. I don't think I can stop thinking about you."
Anna froze, not expecting that answer but at the same time, if she was human again, her heart would be racing right now. She shook her head slightly and offered a small, sad smile. "I can't stop thinking about you either." She moved closer to him, taking a seat on the bed beside him, watching as the emotions that rolled through Jeremy played on his face.
"What are we gonna do?" he asked quietly, tilting his head in her direction. Anna lifted her hand, her silent offer obvious to Jeremy in the way his head ducked down first before he lifted his own hand up to her. They liked to do this, to hold their hands again each other and pretend to be able to feel the other person. It offered him comfort and helped Anna to feel a little less alone in a world where she was all by herself. This time, though, was different. As Jeremy's hand reached for hers, their fingertips touched. Not like ghostly air pretend touching, they actually touched. He felt her. His Anna. Jeremy couldn't believe this. By the look on Anna's face, she couldn't believe it either. Taking a deep breath and a leap of faith, Jeremy moved his hand again, both their eyes watching as he interlaced his fingers with hers, giving a tiny squeeze once they were completely linked.
"Do you.. feel this?" he whispered in quiet excitement, looking back up to Anna's utter look of shock.
"What's going on.." she murmured and barely wiggled her fingers against their embrace. "I can feel you!" she looked up to him quickly. The surprise changed to one of happiness, like her once-human heart was going to burst. "How can I feel you?"
Their eyes stayed locked on each other for what felt like forever, finally touching each other for the first time since the night she died. The night Jeremy thought he would never see her again, that things would once again never be the same. As if they were mirror images of each other, Anna and Jeremy turned their gazes from each other to their hands, which were finally where they belonged again.
XXXXX
"Jeremy, you really should be getting to bed. It's 2 in the morning and the Lantern festival is tomorrow," Anna grinned, once again trying to convince him to sleep, but as usual, she was saying one thing and wanting another. Jeremy just shook his head with a soft chuckle and turned his body a little more towards her. After discovering that Jeremy's ability to see Anna had transformed into being able to touch her as well, the two had fallen back into his bed to explore just what this all meant. Granted, he was confused, shocked- she was dead. The painful memory of her being ripped from his arms still haunted his nightmares and he would never be able to get the sound of her cries out of his head. And yet, here she was.
They were both laying on their sides, one hand tucked under a pillow to prop their head up while their eyes stayed occupied with the image of their fingers brushing against each other. Jeremy couldn't help but revel in the fact that he could hold her hand again, hold her body in his arms.. Maybe even press her lips against his and feel the way she used to respond to it.. He never got to kiss her goodbye, or ever have any real goodbye actually, so to have her back, here, with him, was everything he had dreamed of. The more they laid there, on his bed, just like they used to, Jeremy was finding it harder and harder to resist leaning over the few inches between them and indulge in that piece of heaven. But, he held back. Because of Bonnie. It was bad enough that he was laying in bed with his ex holding hands with her. But for now, he didn't want to ruin this moment with Anna because of his guilt. Jeremy didn't know how much longer this was going to last, and he wasn't going to waste a single moment.
"Do you really think I can sleep knowing that my cute stalker chick is watching?" he teased playfully, his fingers idly weaving in and out and around hers. He had almost forgotten how soft her skin was, and he couldn't stop smiling as their contact continued.
Anna's face flushed a light pink, both from the look on his face and the words he said. "Didn't used to stop you. I remember a time when you couldn't sleep without me and my stalker eyes." she joked right back, allowing her own fingers to rub against his, though Jeremy's had more movement and more control of the situation. She wasn't going to push anything on him, not like she used to when they first met. After all, he wasn't hers anymore.. She didn't have any say in his life or what he did, who he loved.
Jeremy saw the change in color of her cheeks, unable to recall the last time she had ever blushed. Could vampires even blush? Apparently ghost vampires could. The smile on his face disappeared at her attempt at a joke, his whole expression becoming somber.
"I still can't sleep without you, Anna," he said quietly, his eyes dipping back to their hands and away from her face at his own bashfulness. "I feel safe when I know you're here. After I lost you, I.." he let out a sigh. "The only way I could sleep was Elena's sleeping pills or one of Bonnie's spells sometimes." It was odd saying her name in Anna's presence, just as it was to say Anna's where Bonnie could hear it. Jeremy doubted he would ever get used to that.
"The thing is, you were always on my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about you, or missing you. It was horrible, because everyone was telling me that I needed to move on, and I've tried to, with Bonnie.." He caught her gaze once more and Anna looked as though she was going to pass out, or maybe kiss him. Or maybe that was wishful thinking on Jeremy's part.
"But Anna, I never really moved on. I don't know if I ever will."
Anna didn't know what he was doing, why he was saying these things. They freaked her out, and not because the man she never stopped loving seemed to maybe still hold those feelings for her! She was worried about what she was doing to him, to his life, by being here. Whether they liked it or not, she was dead. His uncle had driven the fatal blow to her heart. The dead were supposed to move on and not continue to hurt those they love. But there was something different, something about the way Anna felt about Jeremy, and in turn, how Jeremy felt about her, that wouldn't let her fully move on. And now, here they were, human and ghost, staying up into the early hours of the morning just like they used to, with neither of them able to move on from the other.
She thought what to say, about reciprocating the words- or even adding on them, telling Jeremy she still loved him. But out of nerves or worry or some other emotion she couldn't quite explain, Anna didn't. Instead, she wrapped her fingers tighter around his, and after hours of letting their skin just brush against each other in a simple, loving way, Anna lifted his hand to her lips, pressing a light kiss just above his knuckles.
Jeremy's heart fluttered for a second as he watched her kiss his hand, and for a second he was overwhelmed with the desire to pull his hand away and take her mouth with his. But again, he held back. A little smile crept back onto his face, his chocolate eyes almost sparkling as he looked at her. Finally, after what felt like forever, he spoke.
"Fine, I'll get some sleep then," he whispered to her and closed his eyes. At the same time, as Jeremy slowly began to slip into unconsciousness, his hand tugged lightly on hers and brought it close to him, right against his chest. Underneath was a heart that beat only for her, full of all the love and passion that never truly went away. Anna just smiled.