Welcome one and all to the first chapter of Aloha Madness! I am your host, the Crazy man! This will be my first story I've ever made, so some constructive criticism is appreciated, however no flames please. This will have yaoi at some point, some bashing and some bloody scenes, those of faint heart or those that hate such things please turn back now.

Disclaimer I DON"T OWN NARUTO.

"HEY YOU GUYS!" - Words

'The fuck is with him?' - Thoughts

"SHIT ITS HIM" - Demons/non-humans

Chapter 1: Enter Insanity

Zabuza was having the time of his life, he has found his target, whipped Kakashi into a water prison, and got to scare a group of little cute genin. At 6ft tall, weighing in at 158 lbs of pure ninja muscle, there is little that can cause him alarm. He has single-handedly changed the Kiri graduation exam and has henceforth been known as "The Demon of the Bloody Mist." With his Decapitating Carving Knife, many have fallen to this great demon, but nothing will have prepared him for what is about to occur.

"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts!" a strange voice sang that immediately put Zabuza on edge.

'What is this voice? It's a man's voice but the only men here are myself and Kakashi.' Zabuza looked around, sweeping the area with the eyes of a stone cold killer.

The small group of genin weren't faring any better, as Naruto did have a plan but that was put on hold as soon as he heard the voice. Still standing in formation, Naruto swept the area with the cerulean blue eyes that held pain and sadness in them.

"Dobe, this is not the time to start singing stupid songs!" Sasuke exclaimed to Naruto as he too was overcome with a feeling of dread.

"Yeah, what Sasuke-kun said Naruto-baka!" Sakura's shrill annoying voice made even Zabuza, who has heard the death screams of many a foe, flinch in pain.

Kakashi, who at this time was in an underwater prison, heard Sakura's voice actually through the prison itself. 'Reminder to self; get some god damn earplugs.'

"Here they are all standing in a row!" The voice, belonging to a figure was heard more clearly as said figure approached to group of genin. The mist seemingly sticking to the figure, keeping them from being seen clearly. "Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head!" The figure sang again, adding a laugh at the end.

'This guy, he seems to love coconuts a lot.' Thought all 3 genin as the figure stopped at about 10 yards away. 'Better ask him what he's doing there and hopefully add a worshipper to my greatness' Sasuke thought with his patented Uchiha smirk.

"In the name of the Uchiha clan and Konoha, who goes there?" Sasuke yelled at the figure. 'Sasuke better know what he's doing, or else that ass of his is glass.' Naruto thought, while not caring that he likes Sasuke's ass.

The mist slowly peeled away to reveal a man, but this man put even Zabuza on edge. The figure stood at 6'1", towering over Sasuke's meager height of 4'8". Built like he has seen blood on his hands, the man had muscles that bulged with enough power to snap spines like toothpicks. He had a black bandana wrapped around his head, not allowing any of the genin a view of the man's head. Moving down to his eyes, Naruto noticed a look he has seen in the mirror, but added with a touch of insanity, something he was sure he has seen before. The man had a scar running down his eye to his mouth, said mouth showed the genin that all his teeth were filed to a point.

'Just this freak's face is sending me into nervous jitters, but good thing that Sasuke-kun is here to protect me!' Guess who said that.

The man wore a tight black tank top, showing that he has small scars all over his body, some even looked self-inflicted. Around his wrists he wore what appeared to be handcuffs, broken off at the second link. For his lower body, he wore a neon orange prison jumpsuit, letting the top half of it fall around his waist, it was kept up by a length of chain around the waist. A pair of black combat boots adorned his feet, the bottoms stained crimson with blood. Sheathed at his waist was a weird katana, the sword was 4ft long, had a handle wrapped in purple silk, but the guard was what looked like a link to a chain. To add to the level of scary, the man never stopped smiling.

"Give em a twist!" At this point the man cracks his neck loudly to where the genin wince at the loudness. "A flick of the wrist!" Here the man cracks his knuckles to the point that Sakura thought they were going to fall off. "That's what the showman said!" The man then throws out his arms in a display of showmanship, while looking towards the sky.

'Better hit him while he's distracted' Sasuke thought while running towards the man, ignoring Naruto's cries of outrage. Throwing a few kunai, Sasuke was amazed when they all hit dead in the man's arms, finally showing the blood he has is black.

"YOU STOPPED MY FAVORITE SONG! PREPARE FOR A COUNTER ATTACK!" The man cried out as he grabbed the kunai imbedded in him and throwing them at Sasuke's feet. This small action caused the headstrong Uchiha to flop face-first into the mud. A sweatdrop appeared on those watching this, 'How can he be so stupid?' Was the groups thought on the matter.

Seeing Sasuke flat on the ground gave Sakura the idea to charge with all her might….towards Sasuke's prone form. She then perceeded to talk to Sasuke even though he was close to unconsciousness in what just happened. The man proceeded to let out a stream of high pitched giggles while looking at Naruto, said genin cocked his head in confusion which made the man laugh harder.

"Who are you?" Inquired Naruto as his other teammates were indisposed of because of said man. The man cocked his head to the side as he laughed with insanity.

"I am many things my child! I am a writer, a musician, a poet, a collector, an animal lover, and a person who loves to help others. But that is different from what you are asking is it not?" Naruto could only nod in confusion. "My name, is one that mothers tell their children to hide from, what demons are scared of, what women and men want to be with, I am simply Kyōki."

"You're insanity? What kind of name is that?" At this remark, Kyōki gains a tic mark. "A name that has Zabu-chan over there swearing up a storm."

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Not him! I can take him though! I have been training for awhile since I've last seen him." Zabuza said with his trademark growl.

"Excuse me, I have to go take care of Zabu-chan." Taking a stance with his hands facing himself and Zabuza, Kyōki put his fingers in the shape of a gun. (Picture Alucard releasing his power.) "INSANITY STYLE!" Kyōki yelled out with a grin, as Zabuza braced himself for whatever was about to happen, he was not prepared to have Kyōki blur right in front of him and yell in his face.

"BOOT TO THE BALLS!" WIth this said to his face, Zabuza was confused till he felt Kyōki's boot slam into his balls, dropping like a sack of potatoes, Zabuza let go of his water prison, allowing Kakashi to blur to his genin's side.

"I will take him from here." A soft feminine voice said. Looking up, the group saw a mist hunting ninja with Zabuza on their back. "But I want to see the blood when you cut off his head!" Kyōki whined across the way. "Thank you and goodbye." Disappearing in the mist, the hunter nin left the genin and one tired jounin with insanity incarnate.

"Why are you here?" Kakashi lazily drawled out while still standing ready for action.

"That is very simple! The reason why I am here is that I smelled something cute and wanting attention." Kyōki drawled out and just as lazily. Sniffing the air, Kyōki blurred in front of the three genin who now are standing in a line with the order being Sasuke on the left, Sakura in the middle, and Naruto on the right.

Kyōki took a deep breath in when he smelled Sasuke, "Hmmm an Uchiha, cute, but only craves power, likely to betray his county for said power." Sniffing again, he turned towards Sakura, "a Haruno, only wants attention, belittles others while ignoring her own faults and weaknesses." Ignoring the indignant shout from said puppy, he turned towards the last member of the group. Smelling again, he became drowsy with happiness. "An Uzumaki! With something else hidden, cutie, craves attention, wants the world to know his power, but is denied that every day. You smell of vanilla, a perfect scent for a perfect boy."

This had 5 different responses, Naruto blushed, Sasuke brooded, Sakura started blubbering, Kakashi giggled, and Tazuna drank heavily.

Taking out his sword, he laid it on his hands and kneeled down in front of Naruto. "With the honor by my sword, I do pledge loyalty to you, may your enemies be mine and may we win cutest couple at band camp!" Getting back up, he flashed an insane grin at Naruto.

Again having 5 different responses, Naruto blushed harder, Sasuke looked pissed, Sakura got angry, Kakashi looked confused, and Tazuna, well he drank hard.

"Well Tazuna, let's get you home, where is it?" Kakashi drawled, "Oh it's just over that way I'll walk you there" "Alright team move out!"

"AND I'M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!" And with that, the team, plus a fan, set off to parts unknown.

AND ITS DONE! What do guys think of it?! I actually had this idea for a long time, wondering if it would work, Diablo 3 and other things kinda took my mind off of it though but now im here writing this piece of fiction. Please come back for more if you liked it, if not sorry i suck.

And as always, I will see you, in the next chapter!

~The Crazy Man