The Job Offer
…It's all in a life's work
They always said behind the Red Head Girl's back that she didn't have a heart. It was true. She tried faking it by
studying those around her. The woman with the funny laugh who made hot chocolate chip cookies and put
band-aids on the skinned knees of the neighborhood children who played with her son. Then there was the
gruff man who was married to the woman (who sometimes wore a nurse's outfit), he could yell, but he treated
his bratty, mean, overly sensuous daughter like gold and would sit with her at the kitchen table to discuss men
and life over coffee and cake. It was time to go back East where she belonged. The wiry young man, brother to
bratty girl, son to the nurse mother and the gruff dad was supposed to be her boyfriend. Midge wasn't in
California and she was going to meet her at Polly's Diner in the MegaPlex Mall in New Jersey. Bob was already
there, he said he couldn't wait to pass the platter of golden and crispy fried chicken! She received the phone call
at 3 a.m. last week that it was time to say goodbye. Bye to the neighborhood parents, bye to the wiry young
man who really did want to marry her, bye to the brown boy who loved candy and was from a foreign land, bye
to the guy who wanted to have his first real dance with her and who smoked illegal cigarettes, bye to the pretty
boy, and bye to the chatty-never-shut-up girl with the pretty outfits. She was allowed to bring one of them with
her. She didn't have a heart and her brain was pre-determined. Mr. Montgomery said to pick the one that would
be suited for a good job offer. So she looked at the options. Wiry boy would ruin everything, he'd get too
nervous, would bolt and then bad things would happen. She couldn't take him along. Pretty boy was too pretty.
Mr. Montgomery said they were overstocked with pretty boys. Chatty-never-shut-up girl was also a no-go for
the same reasons. There weren't many brown boys in the MegaPlex mall. So it could be no one other than that
guy.
It was the next day at noon when Hyde was in the Forman kitchen drinking from a bottle of Coke and waiting
for Mrs. Forman to supply him with a grilled cheese sandwich.
Donna came in through the slider door and sat in the sea foam green kitchen chair that was reserved for gruff
Dad.
"Hi, Hyde…."
"Hey, Donna…" He knew better than to ask her to make him a sandwich!
"I have great news! You have to promise not to tell anyone though…"
"Sure…"
"I have a job in the MegaPlex mall in New Jersey and you can't work at the Fotohut forever…. so I asked Mr.
Montgomery and he said the Record Hut is hiring…"
"You want me to leave my cushy job at the Fotohut so I could still work for minimum wage, but actually will have
to work at the record store?"
"It's more than that! You get to sit on the sofa, wear these big headphones, and listen to music all day for
promotion!"
Hyde always wanted to get out of Point Place. He didn't think being in different surroundings without the safe
bubble of being able to live in the Forman house would be a good thing at this time. Not for a stupid, low paying
low rung job.
"I don't think so, Donna…."
"Okay…" She sighed and put her hands on her cheeks, "I'll come clean. Midge will be waiting for me at Polly's
Diner. It's inside the mall. And I don't want to go by myself. You don't have to take the job. Just meet with Mr.
Montgomery and see the store. He'll be retiring soon. Maybe you could be groomed to be the manager!"
How could Hyde ignore one of his first real friends in all of Point Place? He wanted to kiss her on the dance floor
regardless of how Forman felt for Donna. Granted those romantic feelings eventually waned, but she was still
one his closest friends. If she needed someone there so she could bond with her mother again then why not
go?
"Okay…Okay…"
"Thank you."
Hyde slept during the entire plane ride. He wondered where did Donna get the money for two plane tickets?
How was he going to get back to Point Place? He was going to have call Forman on the nearest payphone and
get picked up in the Vista Cruiser, besides it would be good for him to get out of the puke hole for a while as
well.
Hyde thought Donna had been spending way too much time with Jackie in the basement and didn't understand
the need for her to go into JcPenney and come out wearing a powder blue t-shirt, crisp jeans, brown clogs and
carrying a backpack.
"What's the backpack for?" He asked
"For schoolbooks. I hope you don't mind that I need to go to the make up counter and hair salon…."
"What time is Midge arriving?"
"Midge will be waiting for me at Polly's diner. Why don't you go the Record Hut? I told Mr. Montgomery that
you'd be stopping by. I'll meet you after hair and make up."
Something was clearly up with Donna. Maybe she and Forman couldn't handle how serious their relationship
progressed and went south. Maybe she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown? Whatever. He didn't want
to add to her stress in anyway. He could check out the vinyl and use the money he stole from Forman's Candy
Land Box to pay for it. It was a win-win. Still he wished he could really help Donna sort through her problems.
The Record Hut was like any record store in America in 1978. The infamous Mr. Montgomery was a middle-aged
man who seemed too eager over his appearance of being there.
"You are perfect."
Hyde dropped the Led Zeppelin album that he already owned back in its space.
"Excuse me, Man?"
"I'm sorry. It's just that Donna described you perfectly. Where is she?"
"Getting dolled up."
Why did this man act like he had a history with her?
"I hope that you'll consider the job, Steven…"
"It's Hyde…"
"Sorry…of course it is. I just got this red velvet sofa imported from Asia to create a listening area to get the
young kids to buy records. All you have to do is sit here and put your feet up. It's a groovy job, man."
He was about 10 years too late with his choice of the word groovy.
"How much do you pay?"
"We can discuss salary and perks later. Listen, Donna tells me you like to indulge in…a smoke…would you follow
me to the backroom?"
This hyper Mr. Montgomery could certainly use a joint. Maybe, he was cool after all?
It was after hours when Donna reappeared. Her red hair all shiny, parted on the side, and fastened with a faux
tortoise barrette. Her make up soft and pretty. She was standing over Hyde who fell asleep in Mr. Montgomery's
office. That indulgence had to be spiked with something else.
"Hey—Hey…Donna what time is it?" Hyde rubbed his eyes.
"Time?"
"You look pretty."
"Thank you. It's your turn to go to hair and make up."
"What? Donna you have been acting strange lately. What in the hell is going on?"
"This is home. Have it your way. I have to meet my family at Polly's Diner. Bye now that guy." Donna turned on
her heels– she wasn't wearing sneakers or even boots similar to his, she was wearing brown penny loafers!
She looked like a page in an catalog. Hyde ran after her as Mr. Montgomery stayed in the shadows.
"Donna…" Hyde called out, but she wouldn't answer him.
There were no words. Absolutely no words when Hyde's eyes first gazed at Midge who was in a pose of
passing a basket of plastic fried chicken to Bob. They weren't real. They were mannequins. There was a college
age girl who looked similar to Donna but with strawberry blonde hair. She was picking at a prop salad and there
was a younger girl about 15 sipping a soda (which really was brown colored plastic ice) in a red tumbler through
a straw. This had to be effects of the drug as he watched Donna get to her place at the end of the booth and
raising her plate for a piece of fried chicken as she froze like the others. Hyde shook his head and stepped back
to view all of this.
It was display booth with a sign on the wood paneling that stated: The Pinciotti's from New Jersey Love Our
Crispy Fried Chicken (Except for Val who is on a diet!)…
Donna wanted him to be one of them!
He was going to have process how the years were all based on lies later. He had to get out of this mall before
he was Mr. Montgomery's next victim.
Hyde thought this was too easy. No one was chasing him. No mannequins were coming to life from every
storefront to take over him. No one was calling out for him. Maybe, this really was a product of a bad high and he
and Donna could laugh over this as they took the plane back to Point Place and eat some of Mrs. Forman's good
old-fashioned home cooking, which was probably 1000 times better than Polly's. He made it to the exit and
picked up the Led Zeppelin album that he was looking at earlier that was all that Mr. Montgomery needed to do.
They always picked up the merchandise that appealed to them.
The hair was straightened on that guy. His shades were replaced with the John Lennon granny style that were
retro cool with the young kids getting into The Beatles. Mr. Montgomery let him hold the cover of Abbey Road
even though there were no sounds coming from the real for sale XtraSoundPhonic headphones that were
attached to the black cardboard stereo with its equally cardboard faux record. Donna made a good choice with
this one. As her and her family would forever dine on the chicken dinner, that guy could listen to music as the
money flowed into the cash registers of the MegaPlex Mall in an ordinary town in New Jersey.
They were home.
20 Years Later
The trouble came from China. Compact Discs were making the record player obsolete. The industry was starting
to move away from vinyl and the Record Hut changed its name to the Listening Hut, but the concept was
starting to get old and that guy, who had a good run, was split into parts. His head joined the Red Head Girl's
(with divorce being too common the mannequin display, described as creepy by the younger demographic was
destroyed) in the sports store on the top shelf. His head wearing snow goggles and a ski hat and her head
wearing the matching version in as they shared a black and white striped scarf. That guys legs were in the shoe
department modeling the new Reeboks in the window. Dad Pinciotti's were on the other side wearing men's
career lace-ups. One of that guys arms was in the jewelry department of an anchor store showcasing the latest
in men's gold watches and the other arm was in a box of spare parts in the basement. Mr. Montgomery was
getting ready to retire and was personally delivering the upper torso of Mom Pinciotti to the Ladies
Undergarments section in JcPenney. Her head was going to the soon-to-be-defunct Millinery Department to
showcase a B-Movie star's line of wigs. The merchandise would change, but there would always be a need for
mannequins to show the shoppers exactly what they want. They needed outsiders. There were many that guys
to join many that girls in the MegaPlex Mall.
Val and Tina Pinciotti were being shipped to Halverson's in Point Place, Wisconsin the town where the Red Head
Girl's family was sent and where the original that guy was from. They were going to work in the Neon Dream
Boutique. The more mass-produced fun offshoot of a Benetton type of store with more affordable pieces.
"Thank you, Mr. Montgomery." Said the woman behind the counter. She always admired the rack on Mom Midge!
She was sad to see the popular Chicken Dinner Family Display at Polly's go. The kids thought it was creepy.
The vocal always-wanting-a-boycott-over-something feminist majority thought that sister Val was an
advert for anorexia and a bad example to young women everywhere. It was such a landmark institution! That's
how popular it was! And now it was gone.
"We're going to need more mannequins. The population is getting older, we really could
use some new displays."
"It sounds like you have an idea, Betty."
"I found Red Head Girl's box when I went to get hand to model a sapphire ring…. She left behind a yearbook…"
"Those kids aren't kids anymore."
"We need a busy working mom. She can either go in the fitness department or she can be used with a kid
mannequin in the shoe department."
"Tell me more."
"It took a lot of digging in the local library to go through the newspapers on Microfiche."
"It sounds like you have someone in mind…"
"This woman is perfect, she has 2 children, 2 dogs, and 1 ungrateful husband by the looks of her pictures, she
has the perfect income. She's a real estate agent. She would be such an asset to the MegaPlex Mall."
"What's her name?" Mr. Montgomery needed to know. No one could beat the prices nor the displays at the
MegaPlex Mall in New Jersey.
"Jackie Burkhart-Kelso."
The End