Title: James's Sneaky Marauder Plan to Get His Two Best Friends Together (Also Known As J.S.M.P.T.G.H.T.B.F.T.)
Rating: K+
Genre: Romance/Humor (at least I hope it's funny…)
Pairings: Implied Sirius/Remus
Warnings: Mentions of SLASH, but nothing graphic. A little bit of swearing.
Summary: James's is determined to get Sirius and Remus together. So he teams up with some helpful Gryffindors to succeed.
James's Sneaky Marauder Plan to Get His Two Best Friends Together (Also Known As J.S.M.P.T.G.H.T.B.F.T.)
James Potter had a dilemma. It wasn't about his long time crush, Lily Evans, or about a prank, or even about something school related.
No, James Potter's dilemma was about his two best friends--whom he considered his brothers--Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Right at this point there was nothing wrong with said best friends. They weren't fighting, nothing life threatening had happened with them, they were both, in all things considered, fine.
This dilemma was one much more serious. This dilemma was a matter of the heart!
Since the first time Sirius and Remus had laid eyes on each other James knew there was something between them. His suspicion only grew when they were twelve and a nervous Remus told them his secret, he was a werewolf. Sirius had been the first by his side to comfort him. But it hadn't ended there.
When they were thirteen it had been Sirius who suggested they become Aniumagus so they could be close to Remus. When they were fourteen it was Sirius who had cheered Remus up when his Grandfather died. When they were fifteen it had been Remus who had cheered Sirius up when his parents had officially disowned him.
And it had been James who had been the first to realize they loved each other. Now it was James who was going to get them together. But he needed help, and there was only one person who could possibly help him.
"Hey, Evans."
"Go away, Potter."
James sighed. "Look, Evans, I'm not here to bother you, I need your help."
The red-headed beauty looked up at him. "I am not helping you with one of your immature pranks."
"This isn't a prank."
"Then what is it?"
James looked around to make sure no one could overhear them. They were in the library and it was Sunday afternoon so needless to say no one was there.
"I'm trying to get my best friends together."
There was a pause in which Lily's expression turned from annoyance to surprise to curiosity.
"What? Why?"
James sat down across from her. For once she made no snappish remarks or demands for him to leave, it was a like a miracle! But he couldn't dwell on it, not now, maybe later. "Well, ever since they met there's been something between them, I just know it. Problem is they don't seem to realize it, so I need to push them along."
Lily smiled. "Wow, you're actually supporting and encouraging them?"
James gave her an offended frown. "Of course I am! They're my best friends, practically my brothers."
"I'm sorry." Lily said sincerely, looking a little taken back by his remark.
James softened and smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. Look, I need your help to get them together."
The Gryffindor girl agreed and together they planned what to do. It was simple, brilliant, and absolutely flawless! James was so proud; it was as though the plan were his baby, as he continued to gush over it. Their plan was set into action the very next day.
James was sitting in the common room with Remus (who was actually doing his homework), Sirius and Peter, who were both engaged in a very violent game of exploding snap. James glanced up, saw Lily, who gave him a stubble nod, and then turned to Remus, talking loud enough that Sirius and Peter could hear.
"So Mooney, I've always been curious. What's your type?"
Remus didn't even look up. "What are you up to, James?"
James put of a face of mock horror. "Me? Up to something? How could you suggest such a thing? I'm outraged at your false accusation. That was a low blow."
Sirius looked up from the game and gave a barking laugh. "Prongs, you sure you're a not a girl?"
James threw a pillow at Sirius, who dodged it easily. "What have I done to deserve such pain blowing remarks? I though we were friends!" James clutched his heart.
Remus actually looked up from his parchment, sighing loudly, a sign he'd given in. James lent forwards eagerly. "In answer to your question, I don't have one."
"You don't have one?" James asked blankly. "What kind of answer is that? Of course you have one!"
The Werewolf shrugged. "Being…you know…doesn't really appeal to most people."
James grinned like a maniac that frightened all his friends. "Most people," he mimicked Remus, "So you like girls and blokes then?"
Remus's cheeks tinted a faint pink and he frowned. "Don't try and twist my words, James."
James ignored him and sat back, looking satisfied. "I knew it."
He glanced at Sirius and Peter who had both halted in their game. Peter's mouth was open and his eyes were as round as saucers, but James ignored his reaction, instead he focused on Sirius. He knew Sirius well and one of the Black's weak traits was his ability to mask his emotions. Sirius had always been much too passionate for his own good and his emotions always played big across his face. He could lie smoothly enough, but his emotions were much too strong. Sirius face was blank with outright shock. James couldn't be happier.
"Prongs, you're an idiot," Remus said without emotion, returning to his work as though that closed the matter.
James's happy high fell sharply. That didn't work out so well…
But never fear a Marauder never gives up. James and Lily were back to planning in no time. This time Lily suggested they take a plan from a famous Muggle play Much Ado About Nothing.
"It's quiet simple," Lily promised.
So they got to work and in no time they'd devised a flawless plan. This one was going to work.
Lily began the plan with her friend, Mary. She and Mary sat in the library, close to where they knew Remus would be. Sure enough they caught a glimpse of the Marauder browsing the shelf beside their table.
Mary started. "I can't believe it's true!" She said in a hushed whisper, loud enough to catch Remus's attention. "It's so incredible."
Lily hushed her loudly. "The whole world can't know! It's embarrassing enough for him. Imagine, Sirius Black in love with Remus Lupin!"
The girls paused and tried to hold in their giggles when they heard Remus drop a book on his toe and curse quietly.
"Why doesn't Sirius just tell Remus?" Mary asked when she'd recovered.
"He doesn't want to loose Remus's friendship," Lily explained matter-of-factly. "That's why he's just acting normal and pretending he feels nothing."
"Does he really like Remus as much as you say?"
"Oh much, much more. He doesn't care that Remus is different he just loves him for him. I even heard him say that he thinks Remus is the most beautiful person in the whole world."
Mary gave a wistful sigh. "I never knew Sirius could be so romantic."
"Oh, he can be and he is, but only when it concerns Remus."
The two girls left, giggling loudly and attracting the attention of everyone in sight.
James employed the help of Lenard Sylver, the Keeper on the Gryffindor team and one of the few people outside of the Marauders that James trusted. The two waited in the entrance hall until they knew Sirius was near the staircase before they started talking. They timed it so that no one else would be around to hear.
"Are you sure?" Lenard began loudly, sounding surprised and a little scandalized.
James had to credit him in his acting abilities. "Oh yea, heard it from him myself. I had no idea who I should tell. I mean I can't tell Peter or Sirius, Remus would kill me if I let them know."
Lenard shook his head in disbelief. "Remus Lupin in love with someone like Sirius Black? I suppose it's fitting, although poor Remus, imagine if Sirius doesn't return his feelings?"
"It would probably kill Remus," James answered with a tone of sorrow. "Poor Remus, to be so in love with one of your closest friends. It must just kill him every time Sirius looks at him, touches him…I can't imagine."
"And you say he has to pretend as though nothing is going on? That would be even worse for him."
"If only Sirius could realize just how much Remus needs him…" James let his voice trail off. He was fighting not to grin in triumphant. "Oh well, we better go, practice is soon."
The two left the Castle, both confident in their achievements.
The next time James saw Sirius and Remus the two were acting distant and even a little cold. They avoided the other's eye, tried to stop any contact and wouldn't say a word to the other. James wanted to die. His plan had failed, again! What's more he'd destroyed their friendship!
He couldn't stand it. He was going to put an end to this right here and now! Squaring his shoulders the Gryffindor Chaser marched up to the two and slammed his hands on the table between them, causing both to jump.
"I've had enough!" James yelled.
"Prongs-"
"No!" James said, cutting off Sirius. "This is stupid and idiotic and bloody damn frustrating! You both like each other, it's so obvious! So get over yourselves and just get together already!"
Sirius was grinning. "Finished, Prongsy?" He glanced briefly at Remus. "We know what you've been doing, we figured it out ages ago, and-"
"We got together," Remus finished with a happy grin.
James stared at them. "You put me through all that!? You guys are so horrible!"
"Hey, we got together, that's good," Sirius pointed out.
"I suppose…" James crossed his arms. "You better remember that for the rest of your lives. If it wasn't for me you'd still be oblivious."
"Ok, Prongsy, we'll remember it forever," Sirius agreed. He reached across the table and took Remus's hand.
James reached over and pulled the two into a crushing hug. "Don't ever break up; I don't think I can think up another masterful plan."
The two laughed and agreed. James's Sneaky Marauder Plan to Get His Two Best Friends Together (Also Known As J.S.M.P.T.G.H.T.B.F.T.)was a complete success! Now he just had to find a way for Lily to go out with him…
-Fin-
I found this document while I was cleaning up my computer. It was half done so I decided to finish it. I don't remember how exactly I wanted to end it but I hope you all enjoyed it.
Please REVIEW!
With love,
Harpy Wings