A/N: Oh god, I'm sorry...that it's short.

Marechiyo Omaeda thought he was going to go insane. He had never been so panicked before in his life.

'Where are they? Where are they?'

He had practically torn apart most of Soul Society in his desperate search. He uprooted stones, trees, walls...he even checked inside Mayuri Kurotsuchi's cloak while he was STILL wearing it, which was about the dumbest thing anyone could have done. This stupidity of his caused him to be chased after by Konjiki Ashisogi Jizō for about an hour.

Eventually, now back in the 2nd Division area, Omaeda was ready to just give up. "Dammit...where the hell could my fried rice crackers have gone?!"

"...Looking for these?"

Glancing up, Omaeda saw Soifon sitting on top of the wall above him...with a bag of fried rice crackers in her hands. He had never been more happy to see his captain in his entire life.

"S-Soifon-taichou...you found my beloved fried rice crackers! Thank you so much!" Omaeda said, a greedy grin spread out on his thuggish face.

Opening the bag, Soifon reached in and pulled out a single cracker. Biting into it, she replied, "...Actually, it was me who took them in the first place. And...I'm not sure if I'll give them back, either..."

Omaeda gasped. "What?! Why would you do that?!"

Soifon ate another cracker, and licked her fingers rather seductively. "Because...you always get crumbs in my hair when you eat them. All the time, no matter how many times I tell you not to be so messy, you still do it. Besides...these things are actually kind of good..."

"But...but...but I-"

"It's your own fault, Omaeda..."

Tears in his eyes, Omaeda fell to his knees and cried, "Please, Soifon-taichou! I cannot live without my fried rice crackers! Well...I can, but it would be a very painful existence, I assure you! So...give them back! Please!"

Sighing, Soifon leaped down in front of Omaeda and held out the bag. "Fine...here. You can have the rest. Just stop whining, you big baby..."

"T-Thank you, taichou!"

Omaeda quickly snatched the bag away and dug around inside...only to find it was empty. "W...W...WHAAAAAT?! IT'S EMPTY?!"

Taking her hand out from behind her back, Soifon revealed a single fried rice cracker held between her fingers. "I guess this is the last one, huh?"

Omaeda's eyes grew wide, and he started to salivate a bit. "P...Please...may I have it? Please, Soifon-taichou?"

"If you want it...take it with your mouth, then." Suddenly, Soifon lifted the cracker up to her lips and bit down on it. Instead of eating it, however, she just held it with her teeth, and she smirked at Omaeda's confused expression.

Omaeda thought about it for a while. 'Soifon-taichou...is she...is she trying to TEMPT me?! Seriously...I mean, if she wants me to take that rice cracker with my mouth, and she's holding it in her mouth, then that means we'll end up...HOLY CRAP!'

Sweating profusely, Omaeda began to back away as he stammered, "Uh...uh...n-no thanks, Soifon-taichou. I...err...that is...I think I'll be fine without any rice crackers t-t-today...r-really...I'll just...have some takoyaki or something...y-yeah...um...see ya!"

Then, he spun around and ran off, even pushing over a few guards just to get away.

Pissed off and feeling rejected, Soifon ate the cracker and sighed heavily. 'Argh! Why the hell does he have to be such an idiot...?'