Live From the Field
(co-presented by The Illustrious Crackpot, Dib Membrane, Zim and GIR)
Is this thing on? Testing...YESSS!!! The text is showing up on the screen!!!
I can see that.
OK, OK. Hi, this is The Illustrious Crackpot here. And this is my assistant—eh, CO-PARTNER Dib, who has a NORMAL-sized head.
Thank you.
All righty. This is a speech-to-text program here, one of the latest models. It even has good spelling and punctuation and it differentiates between human voices by using a different typeset. Dib, say something so they can tell the thing about the different typesets.
But I've said stuff already! The "different typesetting" stuff is OBVIOUS!
Um...OK, yeah. And, as you can see, it also puts a line of periods whenever there's some sort of silence. Well, back to the typesetting thing—for the purposes of this report my voice is appearing as normal text and Dib's is appearing as bold text. Makes sense, right?
They can already TELL that my voice is the bold text. And besides, it DOESN'T make sense—I mean, YOU? With NORMAL te——
BE QUIET! YOUR HEAD IS BIG!
...But you just said my head wasn't——
IT IS!
No it's NOT...well, shouldn't we be telling them about the REPORT now?
If YOU'RE going to play Andy Griffith this time, Dib, YOU tell them!
OK, I will! We're going to use this speech-to-text program to do a report on Zim, the ALIEN, INSIDE HIS OWN BASE!! With this report, as well as any ALIEN technology we can manage to pick up, we can finally convince other people that Zim's an ALIEN!
Actually, DIB'S the one concerned with proving that Zim's an alien. I'm just here for the heck of it.
By the way, don't you think using a video camera would be a bit more, I dunno, CREDIBLE? I mean, people could think we just typed this all up and pretended we did a report. Let's get some video feed!
We can't use the video!! is text only!
Wait...we're posting it THERE? That's stupid! They'll think it's all made up!
You can't honestly think we're going to ignore the legions of "Invader Zim" fans! They've got vampire cults out there!!!! They'd eat us alive if we didn't bring the info straight to them!
Oh, come on. CANNIBALISM?
That reminds me of the Willy Wonka line from the Tim Burton movie! "Everything in this room is eatable. Even I am eatable, but that is called cannibalism, which is frowned upon in most societies."
Ummmmmm...oh-KAAAAAY. Well, back to the vampire cults, why they made a show about MY LIFE and passed it off as a CARTOON is beyond me. And why they cancelled it after only twenty-seven episodes is even WEIRDER. But if we get video feed, they can watch it on online news networks or something!!!
Well...well...the sound of the camera would attract attention when we try to sneak into Zim's base! He'd hear us!!
The sound of us TALKING TO A COMPUTER will make even MORE noise!
YEAH? Well...YOUR HEAD IS BIG!!
No it's—oh, why do I bother? Arguing with a complete lunatic is not something I need to make a habit of.
Why not? "It just may be a lunatic you're looking for..."
Stop making pointless outside references! Now let's GO!