Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon or the Christina Perri song 'Jar of Hearts'.
I know I didn't use another chorus at the end, but it was getting lengthy. =3 Please R&R and always enjoy. n_n
EDIT:: Fixed some formatting errors with the italics and changed a 'to' to a 'so'. Accidents happen. x3
Jar of Hearts
I know I can't take one more step towards you.
My eyes blurred. It was so hard to believe that right here, right now, you were standing before me. I wanted so badly to run up to you… To tell you that I was so sorry. I was wrong. I was stupid. Please… Take me back.
"Angela, are you alright?"
I quickly snapped out of it.
'Cause all that's waiting is regret…
"I'm fine, Phoebe." I smiled my plastic smile and gave my teal-haired friend a pat on the arm. She looked at me doubtfully and then across the grass towards the river bank where I had been staring ever since we arrived at the Firefly Festival. She noticed him, too.
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?
"You don't need him." She insisted. "He's not worth it."
"What are you talking about? Who? I was just staring at the fireflies, chill." I snapped and let out a strained giggle.
"…I know it's hard, but you just have to… forget." Phoebe shrugged, seeing right through me.
I picked at the grass with my hand where we were sitting and sighed. I let the torn grass fall out of my hand without looking, reaching for another handful. "Easier said than done."
You lost the love I loved the most…
Chase let out a clear laugh, the one I remembered he used when I was leaning into him like that. Silly girl. Foolish girl. I shook my head dismally at the oblivious Maya. She was so clueless… He was probably going to do the same thing to her in the end.
I let myself close my eyes and remember last year's festival. It's so bizarre how everything can completely flip in such a short period of time. Just to think… Chase asking me to go… Blushing like mad… Watching the lanterns float away… Drifting off to sleep… Feeling so safe.
I learned to live… Half alive…
Maya poked Chase with a flower, whispering something and he nodded. Suddenly, he looked up and caught sight of me and my sad eyes. I did my best to cover up, pretend I wasn't staring. I didn't want to look desperate. That's ridiculously embarrassing.
His eyes glowed in the low light and he smiled at me.
And now you want me one more time…
I gulped.
And who do you think you are?
Running 'round leaving scars…
Collecting your jar of hearts,
And tearing love apart…?
Phoebe nudged my arm. "Angela… Stop it. Come on, you promised you weren't going to think about him when we came. We're here as singles and we're happy about it – so start acting like it! Come on, you promised."
I smiled at her. "I'm sorry… I'm being so stupid. It's just so hard to believe, you know? I mean – I want to warn Maya or something—"
"There's nothing you can do. He's a jerk and we all know it." She shrugged.
Chase looked away from us and out at the water. He looked so confident and carefree.
You're gonna catch a cold,
From the ice inside your soul.
So don't come back for me,
Who do you think you are?
"Hey, Angela!" Chase waved, walking up to me.
I looked up from brushing Hazel, who gave an appreciative whinny, and waved back. "Hey, what's up?"
He slowed his pace and lingered by the fence post.
After a few minutes of silence, I finally spoke up. "Can I help you? You're kinda freakin' me out…"
Chase laughed and shook his head. "Just watching you… So are you free tonight?"
"Free?" I asked, feeling a little nervous. This was the fourth time he's asked me out. "Free for what?"
"Dinner?"
The butterflies in my stomach flew up to my mouth, making it hard for me to speak. I didn't want to let them fly out. "D-Dinner?"
"Yeah." He nodded, a piece of hair falling into his face. It wasn't sloppy though – it just made him impossibly better-looking. "So what do you say?"
"…Okay. Sounds… nice." I nodded.
"Great!" His face lit up. "And don't worry; I'll do all the cooking. Just show up by the lighthouse, okay? Six o'clock?"
"Six o'clock." I agreed with a grin.
And the hour rolled around soon enough. I actually tried wearing make-up; I put on my cleanest outfit, did up my hair, and strolled as casually as I could to the lighthouse. What I found was Chase sitting cross-legged on a picnic blanket with an assortment of food.
"Thought you'd never show." He smirked.
I blushed and sat down on the blanket.
I hear you're asking all around,
If I am anywhere to be found…
By the end of the meal, he had me talking freely and laughing. I felt silly and wildly free. The sun was setting and the food was nearly gone, but I didn't even feel full.
"—see why it's so silly? I mean – I felt so… weird!" I finished off my millionth story. He seemed like such a good listener. "So… What do you think—"
Chase cut me off with a kiss. My eyes were wide open and everything, but I grew relaxed and just melted in.
But I have grown too strong…!
To ever fall back in your arms…
The sun was long gone, but I didn't want to leave. I leaned back into him, feeling so secure. I let out a sigh and stared out over the steady rhythm of the ocean's beat against the shore. We were both reclined and my left hand tore at the grass – something I always did when I was thinking. His hand slinked over my shoulder and met my right, intertwining our hands seamlessly.
I learned to live… Half alive…
And now you want me one more time…
I grumbled to myself, crossing my arms and looking away.
"What do you want me to say?" Chase demanded. "You're always mad these days. I can't help if you don't let me in!"
I shot him a seething glare. "Let you in? You don't want in! It's like… You used to care about what I said… Now you never listen to a word I say at all."
"That's ridiculous. Of course I care…" He reached out to me, but I shrugged him off.
"You're like… a stranger." I muttered.
And who do you think you are?
Running 'round leaving scars…
Collecting your jar of hearts…
And tearing love apart?
Like you thought I wouldn't know? I wouldn't notice? I was that stupid? I tapped my foot, not believing what I was seeing. Chase standing in front of me playing dumb. I wanted him to admit it though… I wanted to give him that chance. But so far, he wasn't taking it.
Chase rolled his eyes again. "Why're you so moody?"
"Look," I breathed, taking it at a calmer angle. "I'm giving you a chance to tell the truth."
"The truth? What are you talking about?"
Bluntly, I replied: "I know what you've done."
"Huh?"
"You honestly think I'm that stupid? I've seen you, Chase! God, it's not that hard for me to piece it together! You're making this so dramatic—"
"Me? You're the one yelling." Chase frowned.
"Stop trying to change the subject… Okay, I gave you the chance to say it yourself…" I began, hoping he'd intervene. Of course, he wouldn't. "Does the name 'Molly' ring a bell?"
Chase started and then feigned confusion. "Molly? That rancher girl? What about her?"
"You're dating her, too!" I accused. "Look, I'm not that much of a clingy girl, and if you want to date somebody else, I'm totally fine with it – but when you go behind my back…? After you promised me that there was no one else…?"
There was a long pause. So… It was true then. "You were my best friend… I could trust you."
You're gonna catch a cold,
From the ice inside your soul…
So don't come back for me,
Who do you think you are?
It was sunny outside. It felt so wrong…
I sat on the grassy hill outside my ranch, staring out over the fields. Hazel came up behind me, giving me a nudge with her warm nose. I patted her, but I didn't look at her.
My eyes have been so wet lately… It's rather annoying.
I tried to make myself smile and ended up gulping air and crying.
And it took so long just to feel alright…
Remember – how to put back the light in my eyes.
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed…
I walked out to the lighthouse and sat in the patch of dead grass that the picnic blanket had killed after so many times of spreading it out to sit there and watch the ocean. I held my knees up under my chin and held my shins. The wind felt so cold… I couldn't help but remember so many horribly sweet memories. It was like my subconscious hated me and was doing this on purpose.
I wouldn't let myself cry. Not over something so…
My hand tore at the grass and touched one of the last clovers.
'Cause you broke all your promises…
My reflections came to a halt as my hand touched something other than grass back in the present. I looked down, surprised to see the pink and white little clover flower. I plucked it up from the grass and stared at it.
"Angela! Are you even listening to me?" Phoebe harshly whispered in my ear. "You're seriously creeping me out with the far off stare… You're not dwelling, are you? I'll hit you, I swear."
And now you're back…
I looked up, ready to answer her, but looked at Chase instead. He saw me looking at him and he grinned and gave me a small wave Maya didn't see.
"Helloooo…?" Phoebe called.
You don't get to get me back!
I turned back to Phoebe with a genuine smile. "Phoebe, quit it. I'm fine."
She stared at me skeptically, the glow from the fireflies and the lanterns dancing off her glasses. "Hm…"
And who do you think you are?
Running 'round leaving scars,
Collecting your jar of hearts,
Tearing love apart.
You're gonna catch a cold,
From the ice inside your soul.
So don't come back for me,
Don't come back at all.
I stood up, wiping the grass from the back of my legs. Phoebe looked up at me. "Where ya goin'?"
"I think… I'm going to go to bed. Have some 'me' time… Feel alive again." I laughed the last part.
Phoebe let a smile spread across her face and held out her hands to me so I could help her stand. "That sounds like the old Angela! Glad to see you back. Have any idea what snapped you out of it?"
Who do you think you are?
I shrugged, starting to walk back up the hill away from the festival with her. "Dwelling, I guess. Seeing him with Maya… I think it helped me… in a strange way…"
"Yeah, that's weird." Phoebe agreed with a chuckle.
I shoved her off the path laughing and ran ahead. Phoebe chased after me, being a good sport and a good friend.
Who do you think you are?
I'll meet someone worth it someday. I'll be whole again. I left the flower behind.
Who do you think you… are?