Hello :)
This is my first ever fanfic (literally... I'm too nervous for words!). It is not long, and for that I apologise. Whenever I read a fanfic, I always look for a long, incredibly thought out story... and I'm afraid that this doesn't live up to that at all. This was just something I wrote in about 10 minutes, and I thought I would post it as some sort of 'test'. I never believed that I was capable enough to actually post something on here... so I do ask if you happen to respond to this, that you will be fair. I realise that I am no writer... I just wanted to give this thing a try.
Anyway, that's enough of me being melodramatic ;). If you have the time to write a review, I would much appreciate it. I want to know if I should even bother continuing with this 'hobby' of mine.
I chose 'Death Note' as I am currently reading it at the moment. I love 'L'... he is by far my favourite character :D *Before I forget... I don't own any of these characters. As much as I would love to own Ryusaki, I don't. I know this is pretty obvious... but it seems like a standard procedure :P.
There is also a slight Yaoi theme in this. Although it is not completely obvious, it is still there slightly (as was my intention) so please don't be upset/offended by it.
The end is coming soon. I can feel it. I have hardly been wrong in my entire life. In fact, my career and reputation is based on my deductive reasoning, and I have reason to believe that I will be dead soon.
Every move you make is captivating. The sudden change in your demeanour, coupled with your ever growing sense of agitation. It all points to one thing; you are Kira. The 13 day rule is still a mystery to me, and if said rule were true then I have no reason to suspect you, as you were detained for much longer than that. Having said that, the rule makes no sense to me. I can't quite help but feel that this was a clever hoax devised by you in order to prove your innocence.
Nonetheless I cannot ignore the feeling in my gut. You are a completely different person to what you were a few days ago. When you and I were bound together by handcuffs, you did not hold the same presence you do now. It is almost like you have retrieved your memories from somewhere and you're finally realising the role you played. I have no idea if this is true.
I do however know I have little time left in this world. I suppose, to you I have served my purpose. I am little more than an obstacle.
I feel so lost. I cannot begin to comprehend how I'm truly feeling. I suppose this is because I pride myself on detaching from whatever case I am working on. But you were different Light Yagami. In you I saw an equal and a challenge. You were so charismatic and so difficult to read, that I couldn't help but be interested in what you would think of or do next. You were a marvellous enigma that I would finally be able to understand. The many times I had thought I had figured you out, you suddenly transpired as something different.
It left me frustrated yet easily besotted. I wanted to be around you as often as I possibly could. You kept challenging me and I could tell that you were not in awe of me nor did you respect me as so many individuals often do… despite what you may have proclaimed.
And as I sit beneath you on this staircase, drying your feet, I cannot help but feel sorrow for what I may miss out on. It'll be lonely. I will miss you Light. I have never felt such thrill from a chase as I had with this one. I have never been as close to a suspect either. This whole ordeal was without a doubt the most intriguing and complex case I have ever dealt with. I have enjoyed the time I have spent with you, not just as a detective, but as a friend.
I cannot help but feel that I have grown attached to you. The way you are passionate with your convictions. The way in which your deductive skills match my own. It is no coincidence that these things have sparked a growing admiration for you. I have never felt this way about an individual before. Part of me doesn't even care that the probability of you being Kira is incredibly high (if not, certain). I just like you. You are indeed the first person I have ever liked.
If only things were different. Perhaps you and I would have been real friends, and not some façade. Perhaps you and I would live long and happy lives, relinquishing in our almost superior stances. If things were different, perhaps you would see me for who I really am, and not just some enemy that ties you down. Perhaps I wouldn't see you as nothing more than a serial killer.
My phone rings and I answer it. There is some new information regarding the Kira case. I feel little triumph over this. I can see it in your eyes that you have other plans… plans that decipher mine.
You stand above me. Tall and proud. If it were not for the glimmering evil in your eyes, you would be a perfect specimen of humanity.
I sigh in spite of myself. Light Yagami, you would have been perfect. I cannot help that I think of you more as an equal than as an enemy. In fact, you are the first person who has reached me. I don't want to believe that you are in fact Kira, but my conclusion is overwhelming and hard to ignore. If you are in fact not Kira, then I may one day ask you to join forces with me. More than that; I want you and I to spend a lifetime together. If I am wrong, then there is nothing from stopping me from claiming you as my own. We are so similar that it is inconceivable to be apart from each other. I have never had such satisfaction from working with someone as I had with you. I am by no means naïve. I do not rule out the probability that I am attracted to your intelligence. I feel exhilarated at the possibility of competition and I suppose that in itself is something I seek in a partner.
I have never been one for romance. I pride myself on my work. Whilst I do not necessarily see myself as superior, I do in fact know that I am much more intelligent than the majority of people I come across; otherwise I would not have been given such credibility and authority. I suppose it would be fitting that I would look for someone of intelligence in a romantic partner. Such notion hadn't occurred to me until I had met you. You are the only one on the same level as me. Regardless of your gender, I cannot ignore the fact that you were and are intriguing.
This upsets me. I fear that my fondness of you has diluted my reasoning. Perhaps in my softened state, I neglected to prosecute you as I should have done. Yes, my mind was on the case, but I have let my guard down, and I fear that this will be my undoing.
In times like these, I lament that you clearly don't regard me in the same light. I could wish that you would turn around and proclaim your love for me and reject everything you believed in as Kira. But I know Kira. Kira is stubborn. Kira will not let anything get in the way of justice.
And that is why I fear I may die soon. Kira will not open himself to the possibility of happiness… there is a higher cause as far as he's concerned. And in a way I pity that. I am just glad I understood the concept before I left this world. In a way, this makes me more superior to Kira. In a way, it has shown that I have already won. He will never understand the feeling of love. The feeling of happiness and completion… and for that I pity him and await death with open arms.