Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing, more's the pity. If I did, Seras... never mind.

Hi people! Another SerasxAlucard oneshot from me. This will be very lemony, so if you are of a delicate nature, so to speak, this isn't for you. Consider yourself warned. Kind of plotless smut. Dedicated to all those who like this stuff as much as me!

One Night In Patrick

Alucard walked briskly down the decrepit corridor of a certain mansion in Patrick, Northern Ireland. He had just come from the battle zone with Anderson, his master's question still ringing in his ears.

"Why did you turn the police girl?" she had asked.

He was not sure how to answer. Or what to say, really. He had told her it was possibly drunk on moonlight, drunk on blood, or he just wanted to test the human spirit. But there was something else, something he had not voiced to his master. From the moment he saw her, struggling valiantly yet vainly in the undead priest's arms, he had felt an immense attraction to her. He continued his walk down the corridor, Seras following diligently behind him, her Harkonnen cannon resting on one shoulder. He looked around.

"Managing to keep up, Police Girl?"

He smiled. He knew her long, beautiful legs would be easily capable of keeping the pace he was setting. But he just wanted to hear her speak. He needed to make a decision.

"Yes, Master. You know, I still really wish you would call me Seras."

She looked stunning when she pouted, which she was doing now. 'So beautiful,' Alucard thought. 'Like the first spring rose after a hard winter. Perfect.' He stood, staring at her, running his eyes over her titillating body, drinking up her beauty with his eyes.

"Ummm... Master?"

She was nervous, wondering why he was staring at her so much. 'Have I done something? Why is he staring at me? Is something wrong with me?' She was beginning to blush under her master's relentless stare.

"Master? Is something wrong?"

"I have come to a decision, Police Girl."

"What decision would that be, if it's alright to ask?"

"It is alright. The decision concerns you as well," he told her smiling darkly.

'Oh no...' "Wh- What was the decision?" She really didn't like the look on his face. What was he going to do to her?

His face remained locked in that dark smile. "Rather than tell you, let me show you. Come with me." He turned and began to walk quickly away from her.

"But..." Caught by surprise, Seras ran to catch up.

"Master, what was your decision?" Curiosity warred with dread in her mind. She still wanted to know what he was going to do to her, but at the same time, she was terrified of the possibilities.

"Just follow, Police Girl. You'll see."

They reached a stairwell. Alucard began to climb upwards towards the third floor.

"Master... shouldn't we be going down to meet up with the rest of the troops?"

"Soon, Police Girl, soon. Are you coming?"

She hesitated, then her curiosity took over and she began to climb the stairs after him. He had reached the next floor and had disappeared into a dark, dusty, empty and plain room. She reached the top as well and followed him in. The door, decrepit as it was, quietly closed behind her.

"Okay Master, what did we come up here for? Did you feel something?"

"Yes... but not what you think."

Seras barely had time to stammer "Wh- What?" before his lips descended onto hers. She flinched in surprise, then found herself leaning into the kiss. His eyes looked into hers, and his voice whispered in her ear:

"You're so beautiful... I'm glad you are mine."

Seras was surprised; it was the first time her master had shown anything that had even resembled affection for her. A fog had seemed to have descended on her mind; she opened her mouth to speak, but found she couldn't. His lips descended on hers again, his fingers working at the buttons on her shirt. She began to run her hands over his strong, masculine chest, feeling the taught muscle through the fabric of his shirt and waistcoat. Her shirt was undone, and Alucard threw it back over her shoulders, exposing her large round breasts. She wasn't wearing anything under the shirt, and his hand immediately began to play with her nipple, rolling it and squeezing it between his fingers until it became erect. His other hand fell to her taught buttocks, caressing them with his hand. She moaned into his mouth, making him smile. She pulled back, breaking their kiss.

"As much as I'm enjoying this, Master, the troops are waiting for us."

He smiled. "Then let's not let them get impatient, shall we?"

Before she could react, he had spun her round so her back was to him. He pushed her against the wall, not hard enough to hurt, holding her there while he slid her skirt up her hips, exposing her pert backside and a lacy, black thong. He smiled, caressing the smooth skin of her buttock, then pulled the thong down her legs to the floor.

"M- Master? Are you sure?" Seras was nervous, he could tell.

"Are you?"

Prepared to stop if she wanted, he looked at her. She nodded, and turned her head to the wall, resting her forehead against the rough plaster. One of his hands kept hers pinned above her head, while the other was undoing his trousers. He freed his throbbing shaft from the confines of its fabric prison, and stepped close to her. She gasped when she felt the tip rub softly along her buttock. He said to her:

"Are you ready?"

"Will it hurt?"

"Only at first. It will get much better."

She nodded and said: "Then I am ready."

He slowly slid his shaft between her buttocks, not stopping until he felt some resistance. Here he paused for a moment to let her gather herself; then he pushed his shaft in her rear entrance. She gasped loudly as he pushed, in pain or not he wasn't sure, but he didn't stop pushing until the base of his shaft met her skin. He paused again, letting her adjust. She was gasping loudly, in both pain and pleasure he could tell. One hand pinning hers, the other resting on the pale, smooth skin of her behind, he began to thrust his shaft in and out of her. She gasped again, and moaned with each thrust. She was enjoying this now, he could tell. He took the hand pinning her wrists and slid it down her ribs, across her hips and down to her lower lips. He could feel the wetness of them; her center was soaking. As he thrust, he carefully slid his finger into her on the alternate. He would thrust, then his finger would slide into her, increasing her moans twofold. He was nearing his orgasm, and a groan escaped his lips.

Her hands fell, one hand went behind her to hold his shaft with her thumb and first finger encircling the base, the other hand going to her lower lips to clasp with his, her fingers joining his fingers' journey into her wetness. They were both breathing in gasps and groans. He could feel himself on the brink of orgasm, when her muscles clenched and increased the pressure on his shaft, sending him way over the edge. His seed shot into her, and she gasped at the feeling. She was increasing the pace as well, her fingers pulling his into her deeper and faster, until she screamed, and every muscle in her body seemed to contract and relax at the same time. They stood leaning against the wall, both gasping, his shaft still inside her. He stepped back, his shaft sliding out of her, and her groan seemed both to emanate pleasure at the feeling and grief at the loss if it. He smiled, and pushed himself pack into his trousers, sealing them back in their fabric prison. She was still gasping, but was reclaiming her thong from the floor and sliding it up her smooth, pale legs. She was sliding the skirt back down over her hips when Alucard stepped forward, and, wrapping his arms around her, stepped them both through a portal to where the soldiers were waiting.

Silence descended suddenly. There were about fifty of them in total, and they were all staring at Seras, whose skirt was still showing off way too much thigh for her liking, and when she looked down at herself she saw her shirt was still unbuttoned, her large breasts exposed to the world. She screamed, and wrapped her arms around them, trying to block them from sight. She looked round and saw the cause of her dilemma. Her master stood there, laughing madly. She tried to find a way to cover her breasts with one arm, failing miserably, to free one arm to hit her master as hard as she could, as often as she could. He stood there, laughing, absorbing her blows like they were nothing.

"Master!" That wasn't fair!" she screamed pitifully.

He paused laughing for a moment to say: "I know!" and disappeared.

Seras, muttering promises of murder under her breath, climbed into one of the halftracks, doing up the buttons of her shirt. The soldiers, realizing the show was over, were more than happy to crowd into the other halftrack, despite having to sit practically on each other's knees. None of them wanted to share a space with an angry vampire.

Alucard's laughter echoed in her head for a very long time.

Well, that was fun! Hope you enjoyed reading it! Please, leave a review to tell me what you thought. But no flames! Again, this wasn't beta'd so I'm most profusely sorry for any mistakes. Please point them out to me if you see any.