Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the idea for this fanfic, which is not intended for profit.
Notes: *grins* This is a short fic I wrote this is hopefully funny. It was a strange idea that came to me last night so I decided to take a break off of romance and try it. It's supposed to be a glimpse of what the CCS characters are truly like when they're not acting behind the camera. I rated it PG 13 because of language and some sexual references, and thought I should probably put it there instead of PG. Remember this is just supposed to be humorous, hope you enjoy!
Behind the Camera
"Okay, that's a wrap! Great job so far today guys, we're done with that episode."
Everyone sighed in relief. "It's about damn time," Sakura muttered, ripping off the pink costume she was wearing. "If I have to walk around in this being so cheerful and smiling for another second I'll pass out."
Syaoran cried in horror, "Oh Sakura you meanie! I loved that costume and wanted to borrow it but you just destroyed it." His eyes began to fill with tears as he scooped the torn pieces of fabric in his hands and lovingly stroked them while whispering that it would be okay.
Sakura rolled her eyes and pushed him out of her way, "Please tell me we're done all this crap for today."
The director shook her head, "We have a tight schedule here, we must film some of the next episode before we're finished."
Eriol groaned, "But I have two hot chicks waiting for me at my love shack. They're important customers!"
She waved her hand dismissing the subject. "It'll just have to wait. Everyone take a ten minute break, then we'll get started again."
"Where the hell is my water?"
I'm so sorry Miss Daidouji, I was so busy fixing Nakuru's hair that I didn't have time to go get your – "
Tomoyo cut him off, her eyes flashing furiously. "I don't want to hear your excuses, all I asked for was for one little glass of water. Now get off your lazy ass and get it for me before I fire you!"
The nervous man bowed and apologized again then quickly ran off to find some water before all hell broke loose.
Kaho strolled into the building casually. "What'd I miss?"
"Where have you been?"
She pulled off her sunglasses and glanced at the director with bored expression. "So I'm a little late, I was busy." She tossed her hair over her shoulder, "What am I supposed to be doing anyway?"
The director sighed in frustration, "You play in the scene where Eriol reveals his true identity to everyone and explains a bit, remember? You show up at the door because you knew all along, blah blah blah."
Kaho's mouth twisted in distaste, "Oh yes, where I have to give hints that the little pervert and I are secretly together. Why must you make me out to be a pedophile, I hate kids!"
"Well it's no piece of cake pretending to be with you either, sugar, you certainly aren't too fun when it comes to playing in bed."
Sakura raised her eyebrows, "Really?" She grinned sassily, "Well Eriol, you aren't exactly a real thrill either."
He frowned at her, "You're just angry because you weren't worth another go."
Sakura narrowed her eyes. "Angry? I was very relieved I wouldn't have to look at you naked again."
"Your little screams of ecstasy beg to differ."
She laughed, "Couldn't you tell I was faking? How could I not over your small – "
"Okay that's enough details. I'm sure we've all experienced how bad Eriol is." Touya stepped in between them, interrupting the fight.
"Touya!" Syaoran squealed in delight and ran over to glomp him. "I'm so glad to see you, I missed you like so much!"
Touya played with his lover's wild hair. "I missed you too my little sweetcake."
Everyone sweatdropped and turned away as the two began to passionately make out.
Fed up from waiting, Tomoyo stomped around trying to get attention. "Will someone get a damn glass of water! My throat is sore from singing those stupid songs all day and I need water RIGHT NOW!"
"Would you shut up? We're getting a headache from your constant whining and complaining."
Tomoyo walked over and grabbed a fistful of Sakura's hair. "Now you listen to me you little skank, I will complain all I want because my mother is very important and rich and I can do what ever I want!" The two girls glared with dislike at each other.
Yue rushed in out of breath. "I'm not late am I? I'm so sorry, I got caught in traffic."
Everyone ignored him.
"I have an announcement to make if everyone would please pay attention." He waited and when no one moved he continued anyway. "Well you see… I've fallen in love with my other self, Yukito, and we're running away to get married!"
Everyone continued to ignore him.
The director appeared at hearing these words. "Oh no you don't, not until after we're done this entire series and the second movie. And you better keep your freak relationship off the set, got it?"
"Yes ma'am…"
She turned to everyone else, "Get back into your costumes, there's only 5 minutes left." With that the director spun on her heels and left.
Nakuru gave an impatient groan as he struggled to put on his girl costume. "Someone want to help me with the zipper, my wig keeps getting caught in it."
Kero who had been sleeping in a cage backed into a corner fearfully as one of the assistants tried to get him to eat. "Keep those awful sweet things away from me! They're evil I tell you, evil!"
Sakura turned away from Tomoyo muttering a curse under her breath. "Hey Touya, Fagboy, would you two please do everyone a favor and get a friggin' room?"
They stopped for a moment taking large breaths and looked at her. "You know my loving beautiful sister, I think that is a great idea." Touya swept Syaoran into his arms who giggled playfully and the two disappeared to find an empty room where they could have a good shag.
"Places people! We have to run through this ending scene."
Tomoyo sighed and took a long drag of her cigarette. She pulled a long poofy dress over her usual tight revealing clothes and took her place on the set. Sakura joined her, putting on one of the school uniforms.
"Action!"
At her cue, Tomoyo picked up a video camera. "Oh Sakura-chan, you are just sooo kawaii!" She squealed.
Sakura hid her disgusted look and plastered a huge smile on her face. "I… Wait, crap I forget my line."
The director threw her hands up. "Kinomoto, that's the third time today you've forgot your lines, why didn't you study them? And where the hell is Touya and Syaoran, their parts are really soon!"
As soon as the words left her mouth, Touya and Syaoran re-appeared looking a bit out of breath. Their hair and clothes were messed, some even ripped. "Syaoran, why aren't you wearing any pants… Nevermind, I don't even want to ask. Let's just move on to the scene where Yue is angry at Eriol for not telling him."
Yue and Eriol took their places. Yue put on a hurt, angry look, "Why didn't you tell me you had been reborn?"
Eriol began his line then stopped when he noticed something. "Yue, you're missing one of your contacts, I can see your one brown eye."
"Oh no, that's the second one this week! Help me look for it." He got on his hands and knees and began to search for his contact.
The director bit her lip trying to hold back her anger, but it was no use. "Alright, damnit I quit! You people are terrible; you're all fired. I'll find someone else or just cancel this stupid show." She threw the script on the floor and stormed out of the room.
All the characters turned to look at each other for a moment then returned back to what they had been doing. Touya and Syaoran once again disappeared to find another room. Kero ran around screaming crazily about the evilness of sweet food. Spinel began to hump Nakuru's leg as he frantically tried to pull the woman costume off. Eriol began to hit on Fujitaka who was too busy wishing he didn't have children to notice. Yue gave up on searching for his contact and decided to go back to trying to figure out a way to get Yukito a body of his own for their wedding night. Kaho left furious after realizing Terada had been cheating on her with one of his students.
Tomoyo gulped down half a glass of scotch and looked at Sakura. "I wonder what's up the director's ass today?"
She shrugged. "The hell if I know, let's go see if we can get parts on Dawson's Creek."
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tenshi_sakura@magicgirl.com, or write it in a review. Arigatou! ^_^*******************************************************************