Title: Only the Fool. . .
Author: Meghan Elizabeth
Series: DS9
Codes: B & Vicki Ann, K, Q, Vic, Riker
Summary: Julian and Vicki Ann attempt to deal with the feelings that
were brought up in their game of "Truth or Dare." Both receive some
'divine' assistance.
"Cuiusvis hominis est errare, nullius nisi insipientis in errore
perseverare."
Anybody can err, but only the fool persists in his fault. (Cicero, Philippicae orationes. Often quoted errare humanum est, ignoscere
divinum - to err is human, to forgive divine.)
Chapter 1
It had been a little over a week since Vicki Ann and Julian had spoken
to each other. After their game of "Truth or Dare," both of them felt a
little awkward around each other. Vicki Ann sat in Vic's, talking with
Kira and listening to the music. She was feeling pretty good and was
starting to forget about the situation with Julian when he came over.
"Nerys, could you excuse us for a moment? I'd like to speak to Vicki
Ann," he said.
Kira stood and allowed Julian to sit down. She gave Vicki Ann an
encouraging smile before leaving.
"I've been thinking. . ." Julian began.
"So have I," Vicki Ann interrupted. "And I think that we should talk
about what happened."
"I don't."
"What?"
"I think the whole thing is a bad situation."
"What is a bad situation?"
"Us."
"Why?"
"It didn't work last time, so what makes us think it will work this
time?"
"Nothing. But nothing says it won't, either."
"It won't."
"You don't know that."
"Yes, I do."
"What makes you think that?"
"Because you haven't changed."
"Me?"
"Yes. A few months after you left me, you did the same thing to David."
"He was trying to control my life."
"That was just an excuse. You're full of them!"
"I am not!"
"Yes, you are. You said that the reason you left me was because you were afraid that you had again chosen an abusive or controlling boyfriend. But you would have to have the IQ of a targ to believe that I would do that to you."
"So now I'm a liar and an idiot! Besides, if abuse and control was all you'd ever known, would you be scared too?"
"Scared of commitment maybe, but not me."
"Commitment would mean that I couldn't get out if things got bad."
"I was only asking you to take the job in the infirmary and move to the station, not marry me!"
"Yes, but-"
"Enough excuses! And enough games. You walked out on me. You shattered my heart into a million pieces. I can't forgive that."
"How do you think I felt? I didn't want to leave!"
"But you did it anyway! And it doesn't matter how you felt. I'm not going to put myself through that again!"
"I wouldn't do that!"
Julian leaned toward her as if he had a secret. "I don't believe you. For once, I don't believe you."
Vicki Ann was speechless.
"That's all I have to say." Julian stood and started to leave.
"Julian-" she called after him.
"No!" he shouted in reply, his back to her as he continued to walk away.
Kira returned, with Vic, who was on break. "What happened?"
Vicki Ann explained. "He's right. Even if I say I won't, there's no guarantee that I won't walk out on him again." She laughed slightly. "Ironic, isn't it? I can fight the Dominion, battle mutant viruses and detain a psychotic Q, but I can't commit to the man I love."
Vic brought her a drink. "Here, this will help. You know, I can't help but wonder if you screw things up on purpose because you don't think you deserve it."
"Possibly, it would explain a lot." She took a few sips of her drink and set it back down. "I don't know what to do."
"Perhaps a higher power might be in order."
"You mean the Prophets?"
"Why not?
"Well, for starters, I'm not Bajoran."
"Who says you have to be Bajoran to believe in the Prophets? True, they have dealt mostly with us, but they are watching over Junior, aren't they? Isn't that enough?"
"Possibly. But what would I do to ask for their guidance?"
"Pray. Or we could arrange for you to have an Orb experience."
"I think I've heard of those."
"Do you want me to speak to the Veda?"
Vicki Ann nodded. "Might as well. I could use some divine insight."
Chapter 2
Vicki Ann opened the orb and looked inside. The bright light streamed out from the box, almost blinding her. She fought the urge to look away and instead, stared harder at the direct center of the light. Soon, the light took shape and color and she saw her future played out before her.
A few years had passed and Vicki Ann had transferred to the Enterprise. One day, she came back from sickbay and found a message from Julian waiting for her.
"I know the Enterprise is coming to the station for repairs next week. I know that we haven't spoken much since you left, but I'd like to get together when you come. Please stop by the infirmary when you get a chance. I hope to see you then."
Vicki Ann walked into the infirmary on DS9. A few nurses recognized her and said hello. She walked to Julian's office and peeked her head in the doorway. "Julian," she called, her voice soft out of nervousness.
Julian spun around in his chair. His face lit up when he saw her. "Vicki Ann!" he said, getting up to greet her. "It's so good to see you." He hugged her, but pulled away quickly because he felt uncomfortable. He rubbed his hands together nervously. "Well, I'm about due for a break. How about I leave Jabra in charge and we can go somewhere and talk?"
Vicki Ann nodded. "Sure."
"I know how you feel about discussing private things in public places, so I thought we'd go to my quarters."
"That's fine with me."
They got some tea and sat in the living room. "Look, I know that we didn't exactly part on the best of terms and it was very wrong of me to get so angry for something that had happened so long ago. So . . . I'd like it if we could be friends again."
Vicki Ann smiled. "I'd like that very much."
"All's forgiven?"
"Yes."
"That's wonderful," Julian replied. "I'm sorry for rushing this, but I do have to get back to the infirmary. But, we're all going to Vic's tonight at 2300 hours. You can join us if you wish."
"That sounds nice. I'll be there."
Chapter 3
Vicki Ann and Kira sat at a table in Vic's. "Do you remember the last time we were here together?"
Kira nodded. "Yes. You and Julian argued."
"Don't remind me."
"You two talked today, didn't you? How did it go?"
"We talked. Julian forgave me for leaving and I forgave him for getting angry."
"That's good. Until he and Palis got back together, all he did was mope around."
"Palis?"
"He didn't tell you?"
"No."
"She came to the station about a year ago and the two of them spent a lot of time together. They realized that they still loved each other. They got back together and she's been staying on the station between shows and tours."
"Wow. I never saw that one coming."
Vic walked up on stage. "I have a friend here who told me some wonderful news. And I'd like to dedicate a song to him. This song's for Julian and Palis, who just got engaged." He motioned to the band and they began to play. "World on a String."
"Engaged?" Vicki Ann asked.
"I was wondering when he'd propose," Kira said.
"But Palis? He left her eleven years ago!"
"True love conquers all, I suppose."
Vicki Ann shrugged. "I guess.
"I'm going to get a drink. Do you want anything?"
"Martini, stirred." Kira nodded and went over to the bar. Vicki Ann sat at the table and listened to Vic, still in disbelief. Engaged? To Palis? She was awakened from her reverie by a familiar voice.
"Vicki Ann?"
She looked up and forced a smile. "Hello, Julian." She noticed that a tall, thin woman with dark brown hair and eyes.
He pointed to her. "Vicki Ann, this is Palis. Palis, this is Vicki Ann."
Palis held out her hand. "It's so nice to finally meet you. Julian's told me a lot about you." She spoke with a thick, French accent.
Vicki Ann shook her hand. "It's nice to meet you, too. And I've heard about you as well."
Julian turned back to Palis. "Why don't you go over to the bar and get a drink and I'll talk to Vicki Ann."
"Alright," Palis replied, kissing Julian on the cheek.
Vicki Ann watched the two whispering to each other and thought she felt nauseous. She watched Vic until Julian sat down at the table and Palis was gone.
"Vicki Ann, there's something I want to ask you."
She nodded, her curiosity increasing.
"You know that Palis and I are getting married and I was wondering if you would be my best man."
"Best man?"
"Best man, best woman, best person. . ."
"But, Julian, surely someone else would be a better choice. What about Miles?"
"He's stuck at the Academy."
"Garak?"
"Stuck on Cardassia."
Vicki Ann searched her brain for someone else. "Vic?"
Julian laughed. "Be serious. Face it. You're the only one left."
"Kira!"
Julian shook his head. "We're friends, but we're not that close. Come on, Vicki Ann."
"I'm very flattered, but-"
"Please."
"I'd love to-"
Julian didn't give her a chance to utter the protest that was coming after those words. "Thank you!" he exclaimed, getting up. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "You're wonderful." He straightened up. "Palis is waiting for me. I'll talk to you later about the details. Thanks again."
"Julian-" she called, but he waved her away. She sighed and put her head in her hands.
"Smooth move."
She turned around. Riker was standing behind her. "Hi, Will."
He joined her at the table. "I heard what happened just now with Julian."
"I've got myself into a mess, don't I?"
Kira chose that moment to arrive with the drinks. Vicki Ann grabbed hers immediately and downed it very quickly. "What happened?"
Since Vicki Ann was busy with her drink, Riker answered for her. "She just agreed to be Julian's best man at the wedding."
Vicki Ann finished her drink. "I did not agree! He wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise."
"Just think, you get to give the bachelor party," Riker teased.
"Very funny," Vicki Ann replied. "Must you joke about all my misfortunes?"
"No, only the ones involving you and Julian's love life." Riker laughed. "It will probably be the first time the best man is in love with the groom!"
Kira gasped. "You're still in love with Julian?"
Vicki Ann nodded. "That's why I left. I didn't want things to start up between us again."
"Why not?"
"Her fear of commitment. Or how did you say Vic put it? You messing things up on purpose because you think you don't deserve it or you'll screw it up anyway," Riker replied.
"It sounds like he's got a point," Kira added.
Vicki Ann sighed. "Well, it's to late now. Julian's moved on." She glanced across the room and watched the happy couple dancing and wished that she had never left the station.
Chapter 4
Julian glanced around at the quickly gathering wedding party. Everyone was there. Except Vicki Ann. He tracked down Kira and asked, "Where's Vicki Ann?"
Kira frowned. "She's not coming."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, she's not coming. She hasn't wanted to do this since the beginning."
"Well now's a fine time to tell me!"
"Don't be too hard on her."
"Don't be too hard on her? She's the most important person in the wedding, next to the bride and groom and she's quitting two hours before the wedding!" Julian's anger grew. He started to leave.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to talk to Vicki Ann and find out what's going on and then I'm going to kill her."
"Julian, don't-"
"No, Nerys. She's been playing games with me since the day we met and I've finally had enough!"
Kira continued to try to talk him out of it, but he wouldn't hear of it. She almost hoped that Julian didn't find Vicki Ann, because he probably wouldn't like what she had to say.
Julian found Vicki Ann in Quark's, half-drunk. He put his hand on her shoulder and swung her around to face him. "Why are you doing this to me? Why are you trying to ruin my wedding?"
"I'm not trying to ruin anything."
"Then why aren't you going to be in the wedding?"
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want to. I haven't wanted to do this since you asked me, but you wouldn't let me say no!"
"Why don't you want to do it?" Julian shook his head. "Never mind. I think I know why."
"Enlighten me, oh wise one."
"You're jealous."
"You're smarter than you look."
"You're jealous because I'm getting married and you're still alone. Because I've found someone and you haven't."
The alcohol had shortened Vicki Ann's temper to about a third of normal. "No, genius, that's not why I'm jealous." She stood, unsteadily, and pointed at Julian. The force of both his emotions mixed with her own were too much and tears started to fall. "I'm jealous because you're marrying her instead of me!" she screamed. "You were right and I knew it. I went back to the Enterprise to get away from you." She sat down again, beginning to feel exhausted from the emotional stress. "I was scared. Scared that you might change your mind and that I would leave you again and that you would never forgive me. And I've been miserable ever since. Because as much as I want to run, I need you in my life."
Julian was shocked, but still angry. "Well, Vicki Ann. You've finally done it. You've finally driven me away with your games. Don't ever speak to me again. In fact, I don't want to ever see you again." And he walked out.
The emotional stress and the alcohol made a final blow. Vicki Ann collapsed and had to be helped to her quarters, where she fell onto her bed and began to sob uncontrollably.
"Vicki Ann?" called a familiar voice.
She couldn't answer. The effects of the orb still clung to her.
Kira entered the shrine. When she saw Vicki Ann, she suspected something was wrong, so she shut the orb. When she did so, Vicki Ann collapsed. Kira tapped her comm badge. "Kira to infirmary. I need a medical team."
"What happened?" Julian asked, once they had gotten her into the infirmary.
"I don't know. I've never seen anyone react this way to an orb experience. Sure, people are quiet and exhausted afterward, but as far as I know, no one's ever gone into a coma."
"It might have something to do with her Betazoid heritage. Maybe the experience was too much for her."
Kira nodded. "People usually change their lives as a result of them." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I had no idea. . ."
Julian put his hand on her shoulder. "It's okay. It wasn't your fault. Go get some rest. I'll alert you if her condition changes."
"Thanks."
As Kira left, Julian sat down at his desk and began working. He soon gave up, when he found that he was checking monitor more than he was working.
Chapter 5
Julian couldn't concentrate on his work. He left Vicki Ann in the care of one of the nurses and went back to his quarters for a break. Julian decided to take his own advice and get some rest. He had taken a long, hot shower, changed and was trying to meditate. But he wasn't succeeding very well. His mind kept drifting back to what had happened in the infirmary with Vicki Ann. He sighed. Julian, you're not helping yourself by thinking about
her. You can't concentrate on meditating or on your work if you're thinking about her. Just forget about her for a little while and concentrate on something else.
He closed his eyes again and concentrated on slowing his breathing. After about ten minutes of so of this, he succeeded in clearing his mind. The sounds and feelings of his surroundings melted away and Julian found himself in complete and utter emptiness. Then, there was a flash of light and he found himself in a desert. Strangely enough, there were three sets of bleachers set up around a square arena. At the other end of the arena,
there was a platform with a throne-like chair on it with two similar, smaller chairs on either side. Julian was standing to the right of the platform and there were two men guarding him.
On the other side, trumpets sounded and a procession started to enter the arena. At the head of the procession was Lwaxana Troi.
The processions stopped once Lwaxana reached the throne. To Julian's surprise, she stood in front of the chair on the left.
A man stepped forward and announced, "Presenting Lwaxana Troi, Daughter of the Fifth House, Heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed, Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx."
Lwaxana bowed and replied, "Today is a joyous day for not only me, for my daughter as well. She has found true love and today we will determine whether he truly loves her and is worthy of her." She motioned to the procession. "Step forward my dear."
Out of the procession stepped Vicki Ann. On her feet were sandals and she wore a shimmering, sapphire blue top and a matching sarong that was slit to mid thigh on one side. As she made her journey to the platform, the announcer said, "Presenting Victorianna Troi, youngest daughter of Lwaxana Troi."
As Vicki Ann sat in the center chair, Lwaxana stepped forward again. "This custom goes back to the founding families. The heads of these families wanted to make sure that their daughters were marrying men worthy of them, so they developed this set of test for the suitors to prove their worth. Today we return to this custom determine whether Julian Bashir is worthy of and truly loves my daughter. The first test will test his strength to determine whether he can handle all that life may throw at him." She motioned to a man off the side of the platform. Then, Riker, Worf, and Q entered the area and surrounded Julian. "Begin."
"What? Me against these three? Are you insane? That's not a fair fight!" Julian exclaimed.
"A strong and wise man will beat all odd," Lwaxana replied.
"Do I get any weapons?"
"Only what you have now."
"Great," Julian muttered. He considered throwing the fight for a moment, but then he caught sight of Vicki Ann. She was talking to her mother and her eyes twinkled and shone a brilliant shade of blue. Julian kicked himself mentally. What the hell? Julian nodded at the three of his opponents and said, "I'm ready."
The blinding sunlight and scorching heat weakened Julian and played tricks on his senses. It became a fight for survival instead of a fight for a prize. Julian didn't remember winning, or even fighting for that matter, but before he knew if, the other three were being dragged out of the ring. Julian's wounds were tended to and he was given water.
Lwaxana stood. "There will be a break so that Julian may rest."
Julian drank all the water they gave him. He felt like he hadn't had anything to drink in weeks. While he was resting, a man came up to him. Julian recognized him as Commander Alexander from the Goddard.
"I have a proposition for you, Dr. Bashir. I have connections that would enable me to get you anything you desire; wealth, power, women, even the eradication of disease and illness. I can get you all of these things if you would be willing to give up Vicki Ann."
Julian looked up at him. "Are you serious? If you are willing to offer me all these things, then you must realize that she is worth giving up all of these things."
Alexander nodded and morphed into Q. He smiled at Julian and announced, "He passed the second test!"
Lwaxana smiled. "The third test will begin now."
Julian noticed that Vicki Ann had gone from her chair. The curtain on the side opened and five women emerged. They were identical from their feet to the golden brown, curly locks of their hair. They wore the same outfits as Vicki Ann. Their faces were covered with elaborate feather masks. Only their eyes were visible beneath the masks.
Q appeared. He was wearing a circus ringmaster's costume. He stepped over to the women. "Aright, Bashir. Time to choose. Which one is your beloved?"
Julian walked over to the row of women. He scrutinized each one closely before moving onto the next. Well, they all look alike. Julian thought to himself. He closed his eyes for a moment to think. He heard a voice in his head: Vicki Ann. Julian, don't rely on your eyes to find me. Follow your heart.
Julian opened his eyes and felt his feet leading him toward the fourth woman. He pointed to her. All of the women vanished, leaving only Vicki Ann, the fourth woman. Q snapped his fingers and Vicki Ann was in her seat.
"Congratulations, doctor! You're three for three!" Q exclaimed.
Lwaxana stood. "Bring him here."
Julian vanished and reappeared in front of the platform.
Lwaxana stood in front of him. "Do you love Victorianna Troi?"
Julian replied, "Yes."
"With all your heart?"
"Yes."
"Would you sacrifice all worldly goods for her?"
"Yes."
"Would you die for her?"
"Yes."
"Have you ever loved a woman this much?"
For some reason, Julian hadn't had to think about the previous questions. The answers just came out themselves. But not his one. He thought for a moment. Jadzia. But she's dead.
Ezri. No, Ezri is not Jadzia. You saw Ezri as Jadzia and transferred your affection for Jadzia to Ezri. Julian took a deep breath and answered. "Yes, I did love someone very much and would have been willing to do all of these things for her. But she's gone and now I love Vicki Ann." Julian noticed that Vicki Ann was holding back a smile.
"Congratulations, Julian," Lwaxana replied.
"Not so fast," Q muttered under his breath. He snapped his fingers and a facsimile of Jadzia appeared by Julian, wearing a costume like Vicki Ann's in an emerald shade.
Jadzia, or Q's representation of her, walked over to Julian and put her arms around him. She ran her fingers through his hair and brought her lips to his. She kissed him passionately. Julian felt himself give into her and kiss her back. Then, his mind screamed, This isn't real! Jadzia's dead!
He pushed her away and as he did so, he said, "No." Jadzia vanished.
The trumpets sounded and Julian was carried to the platform. Vicki Ann got up from her chair and walked over to him, smiling. She kissed him. Julian kissed her back and felt as if he'd made his decision.
Chapter 6
Julian opened his eyes. He was back in his quarters, sitting on the floor where he had been meditating. His comm badge beeped. "Dr. Bashir, please report to the infirmary."
He tapped his badge. "I'm on my way." He quickly changed into his uniform. As he put his clothes in the laundry bin, he noticed that they felt rough, like sandpaper. He thought nothing of it and went to the mirror. He ran his fingers through his hair to fix it. As he did so, he noticed that it felt sandy.
Julian, you're losing your mind.
Julian walked into the infirmary. "What's going on?" he asked.
"Dr. Troi's psilosynine have increased," the nurse replied.
Julian went over to the biobed. "High psilosynine levels indicate telepathy. How can she be using her telepathy in a coma? What the hell? The levels are stabilizing. She's fine." He looked up at the nurse. "Your shifts over now. You can leave now."
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay and help you with Dr. Troi?"
Julian shook his head. "I think I can handle it."
"Thank you, sir," the nurse replied, leaving.
Julian laid beside Vicki Ann on the biobed and put his arm around her. He stroked her hair and whispered, "I'm sorry. You never would have gone to the shrine if I hadn't argued with you. Yes, you broke my heart when you left, but if you leave me like this, they'll be nothing of it left."
A little while later, Vicki Ann opened her eyes and sat up. Julian was lying beside her on the biobed and had his arm around her. "What happened?"
"You reacted rather strongly to the orb experience. You were in a coma. Although, to tell you the truth, I have no idea why you woke up."
"I had the strangest dream."
"Your psilosynine levels were high. Maybe if we find out more about the dream, we'll know why the levels were high."
"Mother used the Paq, an old Betazoid courting custom, to make you prove that you love me. It's a series of tests that measure strength, loyalty, and determine greediness."
"I was meditating in my quarters and that's what I saw. How could-?"
"Remember the ringmaster?"
"Q."
"If Q's involved, it probably wasn't a dream."
"That would explain the sand," Julian muttered.
"One point for Victorianna," Q said as he appeared beside the biobed. "And one for Bashir for figuring out where the sand came from."
Vicki Ann grabbed Q's uniform collar. "How many times do I have to tell you not to interfere with my life?"
"I was just using a little 'divine intervention' to help the doctor here figure out his feelings."
"Why?"
Q tapped the side of her face with his hand. "Because I hate seeing you miserable."
Vicki Ann continued to glare at him. Q pulled the sides of her mouth up into a smile. She smacked his hands away and then laughed. "You never cease to amaze me, Q."
"The feeling is mutual, Vicki Ann." He glanced at Julian and then back to Vicki Ann. "Now, are you two going to kiss and make up? Or am I going to have to do that for you, too?"
Vicki Ann looked at Julian. "You want to go somewhere and talk?"
Julian nodded.
"I'll take care of that," Q replied. He snapped his fingers and Vicki Ann and Julian disappeared. They reappeared on the bleachers in the desert, although the temperature had dropped to a comfortable level.
She wrung her hands nervously as she spoke. "I saw the future we're headed for and I didn't like it. That's probably why I went into the coma. I was too traumatized." She looked up at Julian. "But, I know how to prevent it. I have to face my fears to prove that they're unwarranted. I won't leave. I'm staying here. With you. That is, if you forgive me for walking out on you."
"I don't know, Vicki Ann. How do I know you'll keep your word?"
"You don't." She reached out and took his hand in hers. "But I promise that I will do everything I can to make things work this time. I love you,Julian, and I can't live without you."
"I think last night answered the question of whether I do love you and how much. The question now is, do I take you back?"
Vicki Ann knew what he was going to say. "Julian, don't say it. I don't need to have my barriers down to know that you're going to say no. And I completely understand why. After all, I was in a similar situation myself."
Julian shook his head and laughed. "No, Vicki Ann, that's not what I was going to say."
"It wasn't?"
"No. I was going to say yes."
Vicki Ann grinned and hugged him, but Julian pushed her away so that he could look her in the eye.
"Let's take it slow this time. It think the speed of things last time might have helped to scare you."
"You've got a point. So, are you saying that you'd like to court me?"
"Yes, I am. Do you accept?"
"Yes, I do."
Julian leaned forward to kiss her.
"Hey! I thought we were taking it slow."
"A kiss is slow. As long as you stop there."
They kissed and Q chose that moment to return them to Quarks. "Well? Happily ever after?" he asked as the two parted.
"You're the omnipotent one, you tell us," Vicki Ann replied.
"Now you know I can't do that."
"That's never stopped you before!" She turned to Julian and squeezed his hand. "Well, since you can't tell us, we'll just have to wait and see."
The End
Author: Meghan Elizabeth
Series: DS9
Codes: B & Vicki Ann, K, Q, Vic, Riker
Summary: Julian and Vicki Ann attempt to deal with the feelings that
were brought up in their game of "Truth or Dare." Both receive some
'divine' assistance.
"Cuiusvis hominis est errare, nullius nisi insipientis in errore
perseverare."
Anybody can err, but only the fool persists in his fault. (Cicero, Philippicae orationes. Often quoted errare humanum est, ignoscere
divinum - to err is human, to forgive divine.)
Chapter 1
It had been a little over a week since Vicki Ann and Julian had spoken
to each other. After their game of "Truth or Dare," both of them felt a
little awkward around each other. Vicki Ann sat in Vic's, talking with
Kira and listening to the music. She was feeling pretty good and was
starting to forget about the situation with Julian when he came over.
"Nerys, could you excuse us for a moment? I'd like to speak to Vicki
Ann," he said.
Kira stood and allowed Julian to sit down. She gave Vicki Ann an
encouraging smile before leaving.
"I've been thinking. . ." Julian began.
"So have I," Vicki Ann interrupted. "And I think that we should talk
about what happened."
"I don't."
"What?"
"I think the whole thing is a bad situation."
"What is a bad situation?"
"Us."
"Why?"
"It didn't work last time, so what makes us think it will work this
time?"
"Nothing. But nothing says it won't, either."
"It won't."
"You don't know that."
"Yes, I do."
"What makes you think that?"
"Because you haven't changed."
"Me?"
"Yes. A few months after you left me, you did the same thing to David."
"He was trying to control my life."
"That was just an excuse. You're full of them!"
"I am not!"
"Yes, you are. You said that the reason you left me was because you were afraid that you had again chosen an abusive or controlling boyfriend. But you would have to have the IQ of a targ to believe that I would do that to you."
"So now I'm a liar and an idiot! Besides, if abuse and control was all you'd ever known, would you be scared too?"
"Scared of commitment maybe, but not me."
"Commitment would mean that I couldn't get out if things got bad."
"I was only asking you to take the job in the infirmary and move to the station, not marry me!"
"Yes, but-"
"Enough excuses! And enough games. You walked out on me. You shattered my heart into a million pieces. I can't forgive that."
"How do you think I felt? I didn't want to leave!"
"But you did it anyway! And it doesn't matter how you felt. I'm not going to put myself through that again!"
"I wouldn't do that!"
Julian leaned toward her as if he had a secret. "I don't believe you. For once, I don't believe you."
Vicki Ann was speechless.
"That's all I have to say." Julian stood and started to leave.
"Julian-" she called after him.
"No!" he shouted in reply, his back to her as he continued to walk away.
Kira returned, with Vic, who was on break. "What happened?"
Vicki Ann explained. "He's right. Even if I say I won't, there's no guarantee that I won't walk out on him again." She laughed slightly. "Ironic, isn't it? I can fight the Dominion, battle mutant viruses and detain a psychotic Q, but I can't commit to the man I love."
Vic brought her a drink. "Here, this will help. You know, I can't help but wonder if you screw things up on purpose because you don't think you deserve it."
"Possibly, it would explain a lot." She took a few sips of her drink and set it back down. "I don't know what to do."
"Perhaps a higher power might be in order."
"You mean the Prophets?"
"Why not?
"Well, for starters, I'm not Bajoran."
"Who says you have to be Bajoran to believe in the Prophets? True, they have dealt mostly with us, but they are watching over Junior, aren't they? Isn't that enough?"
"Possibly. But what would I do to ask for their guidance?"
"Pray. Or we could arrange for you to have an Orb experience."
"I think I've heard of those."
"Do you want me to speak to the Veda?"
Vicki Ann nodded. "Might as well. I could use some divine insight."
Chapter 2
Vicki Ann opened the orb and looked inside. The bright light streamed out from the box, almost blinding her. She fought the urge to look away and instead, stared harder at the direct center of the light. Soon, the light took shape and color and she saw her future played out before her.
A few years had passed and Vicki Ann had transferred to the Enterprise. One day, she came back from sickbay and found a message from Julian waiting for her.
"I know the Enterprise is coming to the station for repairs next week. I know that we haven't spoken much since you left, but I'd like to get together when you come. Please stop by the infirmary when you get a chance. I hope to see you then."
Vicki Ann walked into the infirmary on DS9. A few nurses recognized her and said hello. She walked to Julian's office and peeked her head in the doorway. "Julian," she called, her voice soft out of nervousness.
Julian spun around in his chair. His face lit up when he saw her. "Vicki Ann!" he said, getting up to greet her. "It's so good to see you." He hugged her, but pulled away quickly because he felt uncomfortable. He rubbed his hands together nervously. "Well, I'm about due for a break. How about I leave Jabra in charge and we can go somewhere and talk?"
Vicki Ann nodded. "Sure."
"I know how you feel about discussing private things in public places, so I thought we'd go to my quarters."
"That's fine with me."
They got some tea and sat in the living room. "Look, I know that we didn't exactly part on the best of terms and it was very wrong of me to get so angry for something that had happened so long ago. So . . . I'd like it if we could be friends again."
Vicki Ann smiled. "I'd like that very much."
"All's forgiven?"
"Yes."
"That's wonderful," Julian replied. "I'm sorry for rushing this, but I do have to get back to the infirmary. But, we're all going to Vic's tonight at 2300 hours. You can join us if you wish."
"That sounds nice. I'll be there."
Chapter 3
Vicki Ann and Kira sat at a table in Vic's. "Do you remember the last time we were here together?"
Kira nodded. "Yes. You and Julian argued."
"Don't remind me."
"You two talked today, didn't you? How did it go?"
"We talked. Julian forgave me for leaving and I forgave him for getting angry."
"That's good. Until he and Palis got back together, all he did was mope around."
"Palis?"
"He didn't tell you?"
"No."
"She came to the station about a year ago and the two of them spent a lot of time together. They realized that they still loved each other. They got back together and she's been staying on the station between shows and tours."
"Wow. I never saw that one coming."
Vic walked up on stage. "I have a friend here who told me some wonderful news. And I'd like to dedicate a song to him. This song's for Julian and Palis, who just got engaged." He motioned to the band and they began to play. "World on a String."
"Engaged?" Vicki Ann asked.
"I was wondering when he'd propose," Kira said.
"But Palis? He left her eleven years ago!"
"True love conquers all, I suppose."
Vicki Ann shrugged. "I guess.
"I'm going to get a drink. Do you want anything?"
"Martini, stirred." Kira nodded and went over to the bar. Vicki Ann sat at the table and listened to Vic, still in disbelief. Engaged? To Palis? She was awakened from her reverie by a familiar voice.
"Vicki Ann?"
She looked up and forced a smile. "Hello, Julian." She noticed that a tall, thin woman with dark brown hair and eyes.
He pointed to her. "Vicki Ann, this is Palis. Palis, this is Vicki Ann."
Palis held out her hand. "It's so nice to finally meet you. Julian's told me a lot about you." She spoke with a thick, French accent.
Vicki Ann shook her hand. "It's nice to meet you, too. And I've heard about you as well."
Julian turned back to Palis. "Why don't you go over to the bar and get a drink and I'll talk to Vicki Ann."
"Alright," Palis replied, kissing Julian on the cheek.
Vicki Ann watched the two whispering to each other and thought she felt nauseous. She watched Vic until Julian sat down at the table and Palis was gone.
"Vicki Ann, there's something I want to ask you."
She nodded, her curiosity increasing.
"You know that Palis and I are getting married and I was wondering if you would be my best man."
"Best man?"
"Best man, best woman, best person. . ."
"But, Julian, surely someone else would be a better choice. What about Miles?"
"He's stuck at the Academy."
"Garak?"
"Stuck on Cardassia."
Vicki Ann searched her brain for someone else. "Vic?"
Julian laughed. "Be serious. Face it. You're the only one left."
"Kira!"
Julian shook his head. "We're friends, but we're not that close. Come on, Vicki Ann."
"I'm very flattered, but-"
"Please."
"I'd love to-"
Julian didn't give her a chance to utter the protest that was coming after those words. "Thank you!" he exclaimed, getting up. He leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. "You're wonderful." He straightened up. "Palis is waiting for me. I'll talk to you later about the details. Thanks again."
"Julian-" she called, but he waved her away. She sighed and put her head in her hands.
"Smooth move."
She turned around. Riker was standing behind her. "Hi, Will."
He joined her at the table. "I heard what happened just now with Julian."
"I've got myself into a mess, don't I?"
Kira chose that moment to arrive with the drinks. Vicki Ann grabbed hers immediately and downed it very quickly. "What happened?"
Since Vicki Ann was busy with her drink, Riker answered for her. "She just agreed to be Julian's best man at the wedding."
Vicki Ann finished her drink. "I did not agree! He wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise."
"Just think, you get to give the bachelor party," Riker teased.
"Very funny," Vicki Ann replied. "Must you joke about all my misfortunes?"
"No, only the ones involving you and Julian's love life." Riker laughed. "It will probably be the first time the best man is in love with the groom!"
Kira gasped. "You're still in love with Julian?"
Vicki Ann nodded. "That's why I left. I didn't want things to start up between us again."
"Why not?"
"Her fear of commitment. Or how did you say Vic put it? You messing things up on purpose because you think you don't deserve it or you'll screw it up anyway," Riker replied.
"It sounds like he's got a point," Kira added.
Vicki Ann sighed. "Well, it's to late now. Julian's moved on." She glanced across the room and watched the happy couple dancing and wished that she had never left the station.
Chapter 4
Julian glanced around at the quickly gathering wedding party. Everyone was there. Except Vicki Ann. He tracked down Kira and asked, "Where's Vicki Ann?"
Kira frowned. "She's not coming."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, she's not coming. She hasn't wanted to do this since the beginning."
"Well now's a fine time to tell me!"
"Don't be too hard on her."
"Don't be too hard on her? She's the most important person in the wedding, next to the bride and groom and she's quitting two hours before the wedding!" Julian's anger grew. He started to leave.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to talk to Vicki Ann and find out what's going on and then I'm going to kill her."
"Julian, don't-"
"No, Nerys. She's been playing games with me since the day we met and I've finally had enough!"
Kira continued to try to talk him out of it, but he wouldn't hear of it. She almost hoped that Julian didn't find Vicki Ann, because he probably wouldn't like what she had to say.
Julian found Vicki Ann in Quark's, half-drunk. He put his hand on her shoulder and swung her around to face him. "Why are you doing this to me? Why are you trying to ruin my wedding?"
"I'm not trying to ruin anything."
"Then why aren't you going to be in the wedding?"
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't want to. I haven't wanted to do this since you asked me, but you wouldn't let me say no!"
"Why don't you want to do it?" Julian shook his head. "Never mind. I think I know why."
"Enlighten me, oh wise one."
"You're jealous."
"You're smarter than you look."
"You're jealous because I'm getting married and you're still alone. Because I've found someone and you haven't."
The alcohol had shortened Vicki Ann's temper to about a third of normal. "No, genius, that's not why I'm jealous." She stood, unsteadily, and pointed at Julian. The force of both his emotions mixed with her own were too much and tears started to fall. "I'm jealous because you're marrying her instead of me!" she screamed. "You were right and I knew it. I went back to the Enterprise to get away from you." She sat down again, beginning to feel exhausted from the emotional stress. "I was scared. Scared that you might change your mind and that I would leave you again and that you would never forgive me. And I've been miserable ever since. Because as much as I want to run, I need you in my life."
Julian was shocked, but still angry. "Well, Vicki Ann. You've finally done it. You've finally driven me away with your games. Don't ever speak to me again. In fact, I don't want to ever see you again." And he walked out.
The emotional stress and the alcohol made a final blow. Vicki Ann collapsed and had to be helped to her quarters, where she fell onto her bed and began to sob uncontrollably.
"Vicki Ann?" called a familiar voice.
She couldn't answer. The effects of the orb still clung to her.
Kira entered the shrine. When she saw Vicki Ann, she suspected something was wrong, so she shut the orb. When she did so, Vicki Ann collapsed. Kira tapped her comm badge. "Kira to infirmary. I need a medical team."
"What happened?" Julian asked, once they had gotten her into the infirmary.
"I don't know. I've never seen anyone react this way to an orb experience. Sure, people are quiet and exhausted afterward, but as far as I know, no one's ever gone into a coma."
"It might have something to do with her Betazoid heritage. Maybe the experience was too much for her."
Kira nodded. "People usually change their lives as a result of them." She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I had no idea. . ."
Julian put his hand on her shoulder. "It's okay. It wasn't your fault. Go get some rest. I'll alert you if her condition changes."
"Thanks."
As Kira left, Julian sat down at his desk and began working. He soon gave up, when he found that he was checking monitor more than he was working.
Chapter 5
Julian couldn't concentrate on his work. He left Vicki Ann in the care of one of the nurses and went back to his quarters for a break. Julian decided to take his own advice and get some rest. He had taken a long, hot shower, changed and was trying to meditate. But he wasn't succeeding very well. His mind kept drifting back to what had happened in the infirmary with Vicki Ann. He sighed. Julian, you're not helping yourself by thinking about
her. You can't concentrate on meditating or on your work if you're thinking about her. Just forget about her for a little while and concentrate on something else.
He closed his eyes again and concentrated on slowing his breathing. After about ten minutes of so of this, he succeeded in clearing his mind. The sounds and feelings of his surroundings melted away and Julian found himself in complete and utter emptiness. Then, there was a flash of light and he found himself in a desert. Strangely enough, there were three sets of bleachers set up around a square arena. At the other end of the arena,
there was a platform with a throne-like chair on it with two similar, smaller chairs on either side. Julian was standing to the right of the platform and there were two men guarding him.
On the other side, trumpets sounded and a procession started to enter the arena. At the head of the procession was Lwaxana Troi.
The processions stopped once Lwaxana reached the throne. To Julian's surprise, she stood in front of the chair on the left.
A man stepped forward and announced, "Presenting Lwaxana Troi, Daughter of the Fifth House, Heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed, Holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx."
Lwaxana bowed and replied, "Today is a joyous day for not only me, for my daughter as well. She has found true love and today we will determine whether he truly loves her and is worthy of her." She motioned to the procession. "Step forward my dear."
Out of the procession stepped Vicki Ann. On her feet were sandals and she wore a shimmering, sapphire blue top and a matching sarong that was slit to mid thigh on one side. As she made her journey to the platform, the announcer said, "Presenting Victorianna Troi, youngest daughter of Lwaxana Troi."
As Vicki Ann sat in the center chair, Lwaxana stepped forward again. "This custom goes back to the founding families. The heads of these families wanted to make sure that their daughters were marrying men worthy of them, so they developed this set of test for the suitors to prove their worth. Today we return to this custom determine whether Julian Bashir is worthy of and truly loves my daughter. The first test will test his strength to determine whether he can handle all that life may throw at him." She motioned to a man off the side of the platform. Then, Riker, Worf, and Q entered the area and surrounded Julian. "Begin."
"What? Me against these three? Are you insane? That's not a fair fight!" Julian exclaimed.
"A strong and wise man will beat all odd," Lwaxana replied.
"Do I get any weapons?"
"Only what you have now."
"Great," Julian muttered. He considered throwing the fight for a moment, but then he caught sight of Vicki Ann. She was talking to her mother and her eyes twinkled and shone a brilliant shade of blue. Julian kicked himself mentally. What the hell? Julian nodded at the three of his opponents and said, "I'm ready."
The blinding sunlight and scorching heat weakened Julian and played tricks on his senses. It became a fight for survival instead of a fight for a prize. Julian didn't remember winning, or even fighting for that matter, but before he knew if, the other three were being dragged out of the ring. Julian's wounds were tended to and he was given water.
Lwaxana stood. "There will be a break so that Julian may rest."
Julian drank all the water they gave him. He felt like he hadn't had anything to drink in weeks. While he was resting, a man came up to him. Julian recognized him as Commander Alexander from the Goddard.
"I have a proposition for you, Dr. Bashir. I have connections that would enable me to get you anything you desire; wealth, power, women, even the eradication of disease and illness. I can get you all of these things if you would be willing to give up Vicki Ann."
Julian looked up at him. "Are you serious? If you are willing to offer me all these things, then you must realize that she is worth giving up all of these things."
Alexander nodded and morphed into Q. He smiled at Julian and announced, "He passed the second test!"
Lwaxana smiled. "The third test will begin now."
Julian noticed that Vicki Ann had gone from her chair. The curtain on the side opened and five women emerged. They were identical from their feet to the golden brown, curly locks of their hair. They wore the same outfits as Vicki Ann. Their faces were covered with elaborate feather masks. Only their eyes were visible beneath the masks.
Q appeared. He was wearing a circus ringmaster's costume. He stepped over to the women. "Aright, Bashir. Time to choose. Which one is your beloved?"
Julian walked over to the row of women. He scrutinized each one closely before moving onto the next. Well, they all look alike. Julian thought to himself. He closed his eyes for a moment to think. He heard a voice in his head: Vicki Ann. Julian, don't rely on your eyes to find me. Follow your heart.
Julian opened his eyes and felt his feet leading him toward the fourth woman. He pointed to her. All of the women vanished, leaving only Vicki Ann, the fourth woman. Q snapped his fingers and Vicki Ann was in her seat.
"Congratulations, doctor! You're three for three!" Q exclaimed.
Lwaxana stood. "Bring him here."
Julian vanished and reappeared in front of the platform.
Lwaxana stood in front of him. "Do you love Victorianna Troi?"
Julian replied, "Yes."
"With all your heart?"
"Yes."
"Would you sacrifice all worldly goods for her?"
"Yes."
"Would you die for her?"
"Yes."
"Have you ever loved a woman this much?"
For some reason, Julian hadn't had to think about the previous questions. The answers just came out themselves. But not his one. He thought for a moment. Jadzia. But she's dead.
Ezri. No, Ezri is not Jadzia. You saw Ezri as Jadzia and transferred your affection for Jadzia to Ezri. Julian took a deep breath and answered. "Yes, I did love someone very much and would have been willing to do all of these things for her. But she's gone and now I love Vicki Ann." Julian noticed that Vicki Ann was holding back a smile.
"Congratulations, Julian," Lwaxana replied.
"Not so fast," Q muttered under his breath. He snapped his fingers and a facsimile of Jadzia appeared by Julian, wearing a costume like Vicki Ann's in an emerald shade.
Jadzia, or Q's representation of her, walked over to Julian and put her arms around him. She ran her fingers through his hair and brought her lips to his. She kissed him passionately. Julian felt himself give into her and kiss her back. Then, his mind screamed, This isn't real! Jadzia's dead!
He pushed her away and as he did so, he said, "No." Jadzia vanished.
The trumpets sounded and Julian was carried to the platform. Vicki Ann got up from her chair and walked over to him, smiling. She kissed him. Julian kissed her back and felt as if he'd made his decision.
Chapter 6
Julian opened his eyes. He was back in his quarters, sitting on the floor where he had been meditating. His comm badge beeped. "Dr. Bashir, please report to the infirmary."
He tapped his badge. "I'm on my way." He quickly changed into his uniform. As he put his clothes in the laundry bin, he noticed that they felt rough, like sandpaper. He thought nothing of it and went to the mirror. He ran his fingers through his hair to fix it. As he did so, he noticed that it felt sandy.
Julian, you're losing your mind.
Julian walked into the infirmary. "What's going on?" he asked.
"Dr. Troi's psilosynine have increased," the nurse replied.
Julian went over to the biobed. "High psilosynine levels indicate telepathy. How can she be using her telepathy in a coma? What the hell? The levels are stabilizing. She's fine." He looked up at the nurse. "Your shifts over now. You can leave now."
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay and help you with Dr. Troi?"
Julian shook his head. "I think I can handle it."
"Thank you, sir," the nurse replied, leaving.
Julian laid beside Vicki Ann on the biobed and put his arm around her. He stroked her hair and whispered, "I'm sorry. You never would have gone to the shrine if I hadn't argued with you. Yes, you broke my heart when you left, but if you leave me like this, they'll be nothing of it left."
A little while later, Vicki Ann opened her eyes and sat up. Julian was lying beside her on the biobed and had his arm around her. "What happened?"
"You reacted rather strongly to the orb experience. You were in a coma. Although, to tell you the truth, I have no idea why you woke up."
"I had the strangest dream."
"Your psilosynine levels were high. Maybe if we find out more about the dream, we'll know why the levels were high."
"Mother used the Paq, an old Betazoid courting custom, to make you prove that you love me. It's a series of tests that measure strength, loyalty, and determine greediness."
"I was meditating in my quarters and that's what I saw. How could-?"
"Remember the ringmaster?"
"Q."
"If Q's involved, it probably wasn't a dream."
"That would explain the sand," Julian muttered.
"One point for Victorianna," Q said as he appeared beside the biobed. "And one for Bashir for figuring out where the sand came from."
Vicki Ann grabbed Q's uniform collar. "How many times do I have to tell you not to interfere with my life?"
"I was just using a little 'divine intervention' to help the doctor here figure out his feelings."
"Why?"
Q tapped the side of her face with his hand. "Because I hate seeing you miserable."
Vicki Ann continued to glare at him. Q pulled the sides of her mouth up into a smile. She smacked his hands away and then laughed. "You never cease to amaze me, Q."
"The feeling is mutual, Vicki Ann." He glanced at Julian and then back to Vicki Ann. "Now, are you two going to kiss and make up? Or am I going to have to do that for you, too?"
Vicki Ann looked at Julian. "You want to go somewhere and talk?"
Julian nodded.
"I'll take care of that," Q replied. He snapped his fingers and Vicki Ann and Julian disappeared. They reappeared on the bleachers in the desert, although the temperature had dropped to a comfortable level.
She wrung her hands nervously as she spoke. "I saw the future we're headed for and I didn't like it. That's probably why I went into the coma. I was too traumatized." She looked up at Julian. "But, I know how to prevent it. I have to face my fears to prove that they're unwarranted. I won't leave. I'm staying here. With you. That is, if you forgive me for walking out on you."
"I don't know, Vicki Ann. How do I know you'll keep your word?"
"You don't." She reached out and took his hand in hers. "But I promise that I will do everything I can to make things work this time. I love you,Julian, and I can't live without you."
"I think last night answered the question of whether I do love you and how much. The question now is, do I take you back?"
Vicki Ann knew what he was going to say. "Julian, don't say it. I don't need to have my barriers down to know that you're going to say no. And I completely understand why. After all, I was in a similar situation myself."
Julian shook his head and laughed. "No, Vicki Ann, that's not what I was going to say."
"It wasn't?"
"No. I was going to say yes."
Vicki Ann grinned and hugged him, but Julian pushed her away so that he could look her in the eye.
"Let's take it slow this time. It think the speed of things last time might have helped to scare you."
"You've got a point. So, are you saying that you'd like to court me?"
"Yes, I am. Do you accept?"
"Yes, I do."
Julian leaned forward to kiss her.
"Hey! I thought we were taking it slow."
"A kiss is slow. As long as you stop there."
They kissed and Q chose that moment to return them to Quarks. "Well? Happily ever after?" he asked as the two parted.
"You're the omnipotent one, you tell us," Vicki Ann replied.
"Now you know I can't do that."
"That's never stopped you before!" She turned to Julian and squeezed his hand. "Well, since you can't tell us, we'll just have to wait and see."
The End