"Gomenasai"
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Sentai. Nor do I own the song. I just own this story.
Summary: Raigel wasn't always evil. He didn't mean to give in to the darkness. A broken heart caused him to be this way. A Magiranger oneshot. The song "Gomenasai" is by TATU.
Author's note: 'Gomenasai' is Japanese for 'sorry'.
Warning: Contains some yaoi(boys' love).
What I thought wasn't mine
In the light,
Wasn't one of a kind
A precious pearl
When I wanted to cry
I couldn't cause I
Wasn't allowed.
XXXX
You all know Raigel, the Heavenly Saint of Lightning. The one who saw magic as a way to grant his own selfish desires. The one, along with Sungel, was Blagel's pupil. The one who betrayed his comrades by reporting their plans to N Ma. The one who left Blagel to the mercy of the Hades Beastman Four Kings of Hell. The one who sealed Lunagel's memories after she sealed the Hades Gate. The one who Sungel fought after he learned of his treachery and mummified him before he was turn into a frog and sealed them both in a cave. The one who's lifeless body remained in that cave for fifteen years til it was found by Nai and Mea. The one who was resurrected by N Ma to replace Branken. The one who became the Sorcery Priest Meemy, who saw himself as a vassal to N Ma. But have any of you ever wonder why he became evil and choose the path of darkness? Don't you all ever think that he has a reason for what he has become? Do you ever thought that he might be thinking about his actions and regrets deeply about it? Don't you ever, ever think that it doesn't bother him much because it does! The guilt he has would tear him up inside-out everyday. He knows all the sins he has commit, and he can't repent for what he has done. Even though he acts like he's OK, but truly he's not. There is never a day that he doesn't think about all the wrong he's done and gets digusted with himself for what he has become. He can never forgive himself for betraying his kind. For betraying Sungel and Lunagel. But most of all, he can never ever forgive himself for betraying Blagel. He's dead, and it's all his fault! He really does care about Blagel so much, even though he doesn't act like it. Everyday he would hide in the most darkest of places where no one can find him and cry silently in the dark as he mourned over his teacher's death. He would keep saying 'Gomenasai, Blagel, please forgive me...' over and over again as his endless tears of sorrow hit the ground below him. He has to hide somewhere to mourned for his teacher because it will make him look weak if anyone saw him this way. Before he became Meemy, Raigel wasn't always evil. He didn't mean to give in to the darkness. A broken heart caused him to be this way. For you see, he secretly loved Blagel.
XXXX
Gomenasai for everything
Gomenasai, I know I let you down
Gomenasai til the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now.
XXXX
Yes, that's right. Raigel was in love with Blagel. A student who has a cute, secret crush on his teacher. He loves Blagel. Always have and always will. He loved him ever since he first met him. And he always took every word his teacher says to heart. It's wrong for a man to fall for another man, but Raigel couldn't help himself. Blagel is like some kind of god to him. A wonderful, gorgeous god! A god with such rapturous beauty! He is special. He is unique. He is everything that Raigel wished to be. Blagel is brave and strong. Raigel is cowardly and weak. Blagel is powerful and cunning. Raigel is fragile and not so crafty. Blagel is wise and strong-willed. Raigel is folly and has a will that can easily be broken. Blagel is majestic and very handsome. Raigel is not. He is none of those things that he wanted to be. He can never be as great as his own teacher. His precious Blagel. Oh, how he cherish him and the lessons that he taught him! Blagel is the kind of person that Raigel ever hope to be, and he loves him dearly for that. He admires him for all the good he has done, and he wished he can show him how he truly felt about him. He wanted to express his feelings for his beautiful, god-like teacher. He wants to be with him forever. He wants to tell him that he loves him more then anything. He wants him to love him back. To love him as much as he love him. But he realized it can never be. Blagel's heart belongs to someone else. An mortal woman named Miyuki, who is known as the Magician of White. Those two are married, and they have raise a family together. Everyone can tell that Blagel loves his wife and children very much, and cares deeply about them. Raigel is jealous of the sweet and kind woman. Jealous of her and the children she had with Blagel. They stole Blagel from him, and he hates them for that. But even he knows that he'll never be loved by Blagel, his beautiful Blagel. Who can love someone as worthless as he is? It made him angry to know that Blagel will never be his. It's not fair! It's just not fair! Why must fate play a cruel jest upon him? Why does he have to suffer so much? It isn't fair! Soon the darkness slowly grew bigger and bigger inside him as it begin to consume to his delicate heart. He started hearing the voice of N Ma inside his mind, speaking to him as it made promises that he'll get his revenge and become extremely powerful if he do what he is told. The voice of that horrific creature sound demonic and terribly frightening, filled with nothing of pure evil. But Raigel isn't afraid. It was like a sweet melody, comforting him as it took away all the pain and the tears caused by his shattered heart. By then, his entire heart was completely consumed by the growing darkness inside him as he slowly obeyed his soon-to-be god. He soon betrayed his own kind in exchange for ultimate power, even caused the death of the one he loves. But he doesn't care anymore. If he can't have Blagel, no one will! After he was mummified and sealed away in a cave by his fellow pupil for treason, he soon realize his most horrible mistake.
XXXX
What I thought wasn't all
So innocent
Was a delicate doll
Of porcelain
When I wanted to call you
And ask you for help
I stopped myself.
XXXX
Fifteen years later, Raigel was brought back to life by N Ma and became the Sorcery Priest Meemy that we all know. Meemy was extremely grateful that N Ma give him the opportunity to use magic to grant his own desires. He was so happy to be alive again, free from the cold and lonely darkness that surrounds him for like an eternity. An endless torture that goes on and on til you're on the brink of insanity. But sometimes, Meemy wished that his mummified corpse wasn't found at all. He wished that those stupid vampire women didn't find him in the first place. Death seems more pleasant then living. Being alive is far worst then being dead. Living after all the sins he has commit in the past was just unbearable for him! He has to forced himself to live every single day with all this agonizing guilt he suffers deepy from, knowing that he has killed the one he loves. Someone as rotten as he is doesn't even deserve to live. He wished he can kill himself, to end this life of torment. He wants to die. He wants to welcome death in his arms. To fall into a deep, long, and peaceful sleep forever. So he can one day meet his teacher in the afterlife and apology for what he has done. But he can't. He has no choice. N Ma give him this wonderful power to control dark magic. He owe him for this incredible gift. He is now a vassal to his precious N Ma-sama. He will worship him like a god, but not as much as he worship Blagel. His dear, sweet Blagel. Oh how he missed him so terribly much! He thinks about his handsome teacher everyday. He still loves him. He never did stop loving him. He'll always love him no matter what. But his teacher is gone forever, and it's no one's fault but his own. It's all his fault that Blagel is dead! Oh how he despites his own self! He hates himself so much for betraying Blagel. Blagel is dead, and he is nevercoming back. How could someone do this to the one they love? How could anyone be so cruel to the person that they love the most? Meemy knows that he'll never see Blagel again, and he regrets dearly for that. He's suffering every single day for the consequences of his actions, knowing that he can't repent for his sins. He sometimes tries to forget about Blagel, hoping to relieve himself of the horrible pain from all the guilt and heartache. But the memories kept on coming back to haunt him, never ever letting him go. It's all because of those pesky Magirangers, who are also Blagel's children, that he has to deal with. The three sons reminded him of his most cherished crush. And the two daughters reminded him of that awful woman who took Blagel away from him. That mean, evil woman! Meemy would sneer at the thought of her. Oh how he dreaded that mortal for stealing Blagel's heart! He would wished a great many of horrible things upon her. But he'll just push such thoughts aside as he tried to focus on his goals to bring N Ma-sama into the human world, fooling everyone into thinking that he's alright. He sometimes wished he can call out to someone for help, someone he can trust. But that wouldn't do no good. No one will be able to help him. It is impossible to heal a broken heart, and a mind shattered by guilt and despair. But there is someone who can see right through him like crystal clear glass. Someone who can see into his eyes like open doors. Someone who can read him like a book. Someone who can tell that something is bothering him. Wolzard the Dark Magic Knight, a mysterious figure who serves as N Ma's loyal and trustworthy servant. But, unknown to everyone except N Ma, is also Blagel being conquered by dark magic.
XXXX
Gomenasai for everything
Gomenasai, I know I let you down
Gomenasai til the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now.
XXXX
Some of you maybe wondering about how N Ma was able to control Blagel and turn him into this person known as Wolzard. It wasn't just because of the beast's incredible powers. No, it's becasue Blagel was possessed. Possessed by some kind of spirit. A spirit of unknown origin. A spirit that is neither good or evil. A spirit that is in the form of a black wolf with bright green eyes. A spirit that has remarkable abilities in dark magic. A spirit as brave as a knight, as wise as a wolf, and as powerful as a wizard. N Ma found this spirit lurking in the darkness within the Kedomono Realm, lost and searching for the purpose of its existence. He promised this spirit a physical form and ultimate power if it can be loyal and trustworthy enough to serve him. The spirit didn't trust him at first. It thought that this being before him might be a threat. But such an offer like that was too good to pass up. So it served N Ma as it stayed loyal to him through the centuries, aborsbing all the darkness that caused it to be extremely powerful. Soon it possessed a Heavenly Saint known as Blagel, receiving a physical form just as N Ma promised. From then on, the spirit remained as N Ma's most loyal and trustworthy servant as he conquered his host completely. Yes, the wolf spirit is a male. We can still call him Wolzard, since he is in control of Blagel's mind and body. Spirits like him are not like the spirits that we all know from books, religions, and movies. They are just spects of life engeries who have no past lives or any memories of their own what-so-ever. They take on the forms of animals, plants, or non-living objects. Depending on their personilities of course. They come from the dreams of the insane, the depress, the suicidal, the unholy, the self-righteous, the wretched, the forsaken, and the unfaithful. So they're just specters born from our most darkest fears. Never able to know what it's like to be alive. Nothing but an empty shadow filled with pain and despair. But if such a spirit like that can possessed a person long enough to know everything about that person from his or her memories, then the spirit can be like that person itself compeletely. That is exactly what's happening to Wolzard. He's becoming more and more like Blagel everyday. And he's learning everything about that Heavenly Saint from all his memories. Blagel is courageous and wise. He never gives up. He keeps opening possiblilities. The love of his wife and children kept him strong. He never let the want for power consume him. He is careful with dealing with magic as he used it wisely. He is a true warrior noble of the battlefield. Wolzard deeply respects hims for all that, being an honorable warrior himself even though he goes by the power of darkness. Both him and the Heavenly Saint are, indeed, exactly alike. Even dark magic has to have some rules. He has learned great many things from the Heavenly Saint, and used what he learned from him to keep himself stronger and powerful then anyone else. But there is one thing that's been bothering the wolf spirit. In some of Blagel's memories, Wolzard has taken an interest in one of the Heavenly Saint's pupil. It wasn't Sungel, the Heavenly Saint who wields the power over the Shining Solar Element. It was the Heavenly Saint of Lightning known as Raigel. Raigel seems to be the one who was very fond of Blagel, and yet he was the one who betray him. Why would someone like that person one minute and suddenly hate him or her the next? It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make any sense at all. But Wolzard knows why Raigel did it. He figured it out from the start. You see, when a spirit like him knows all about the person it possessed, it also knows everthing about the people in that person's life as well. Their feelings. Their emotions. Their memories. Their conscious. Wolzard even knew what has happened to Raigel. He didn't expect a creature as pure as light to be tainted by the darkness. He feels really sorry for the poor thing. The mummified priest does annoy him sometimes, but he grew strangely attached to him. He seems to have care so much about him lately. Was it out of love or pity? Wolzard didn't know for sure, but he doesn't care. He just hates to see a beautiful angel like him be in such pain and misery. It hurts him very badly to see him this way. He has to do something. Even if it threatens his own existence.
XXXX
What I thought was a dream
A mirage
Was as real as it seemed
A privilege
When I wanted to tell you
I made a mistake
I walked away.
XXXX
Because of his own guilt, Meemy is suffering a great deal of pain. Both mentally and emotionally. He can never forgive himself for the sins of his dark past. He lost his beautiful Blagel, and he can never get him back. No one can truly heal him of this pain except Wolzard. He is the only one who deeply cares about him. The only one who understands what he's been going through. The only one who knows about him more then anyone else. The only one who can help him. And so he did. It happen one night when no one else was around except for Wolzard and Meemy. Wolzard found the priest crying in a very dark place, mourning for the lost of his teacher. Meemy noticed the knight's presence and quickly wiped the tears away even though they kept being replaced with new ones, trying to fool the knight by trying to pretend to be his fake happy, petty self. But Wolzard didn't fall for it. He knows why the priest is so upset, and he must do all he can to ease his pain. He walked closer to the priest as he tried to reach out for his hand, hoping to find some way to comfort him. But Meemy swat the knight's hand away as he backed away from him, threatening to turn him into a disgusting rat if he didn't stay away from him. Wolzard ignore that threat as he grabbed the priest by the arm, pulled him closer to himself, and hold him in a tight embrace. Meemy tried to struggle free from the knight's strong grip as he called him such awful names, freaked out by the knight's suddenly kind behavior. "Calm down, Raigel, I'm not here to hurt you." Wolzard said in a reassuring tone. Meemy stopped struggling as soon as he heard the sound of his old name from the knight's voice, his tear-filled eyes widened in shock as realization struck his mind. Normally, hearing anybody called him by his old name would make his skin crawl. But hearing his name from the one he dislikes more then those vampire woman is different. It reminds him so much of the one he loves. The one who he'll always love even in death. It almost sounds like... Blagel? Could it be him? Could it really be him? Could this man holding him be the recarnation of his precious Blagel? "...Blagel..." Meemy said as he embraced the knight and buried his face on the knight's chest, endless tears streaming down his cheeks. He kept on crying as he apologized to who he thought was Blagel over and over again for all the terrible things he has done. "Gomenasai, Blagel, I didn't mean to hurt you." He said as he held on to the knight as if his life depended on it, hoping with all his might that this isn't a dream. "I should have never listen to N Ma-sama. I should have never done what I did. I was a fool. A hopeless fool. What a complete idiot I have been! I loved you, and I always loved you from the beginning. I knew you belong to someone else, but I couldn't let you go. I was too concern of my own needs. I'm so selfish! Gomenasai, Blagel, please forgive me!" There was a long silence. Wolzard lifted Meemy's face up as he wiped all the priest's tears away. Then he caress the priest's face for what seem like forever. Meemy smiled as he enjoyed this moment. He has been forgiven.
XXXX
Gomenasai, for everything
Gomenasai, Gomenasai
Gomenasai,
I never needed a friend
Like I do now.
XXXX
We all know the events that took place during Magiranger. But we don't know what became of Meemy and Wolzard after they were killed. They were reunited in the afterlife, their deaths took place separated from each other. Meemy went back to his Heavenly Saint form. Pretty soon, after such a really long while, Wolzard join him in death as he went back to his wolf spirit form. Meemy realized that Wolzard wasn't really Blagel, but he knew that the wolf spirit truly cared about him. And there is a part of Blagel inside the wolf spirit that Meemy will always remember his handsome teacher by. He was really happy to be with Wolzard again after waiting so long for him in the cold, eternal darkness. He's also happy that Blagel was soon reunited with his wife and children. He still loves Blagel, and always will. But he has to let him go. He loves Wolzard now, and Wolzard loves him back. Sure they have their differences, but they managed to be together despite all that. Wolzard will always be by Meemy's side even in death. He'll always be there for him. To accompany him. To protect him. To love him...
XXXX
Gomenasai,
I let you down
Gomenasai,
Gomenasai,
Gomenasai til the end
I never needed a friend
Like I do now.
XXXX
The End.
So, what do you guys think? I know it's not much, but I did do my best. :) I'll be working on a oneshot for Jackie Chan Adventures involving Tso Lan and Hsi Wu. Then there will be a Pokemon oneshot about a male Lucario, a male Rapidash, and a male Zebstrika who all performed in a traveling circus. Stay tune for more YAOI/SLASH fanfic stories, and please review after you read one of my stories. Including this one! ;D Thank you guys for all your support, and please wait for me as I work on more fanfics. "Meow!" X3