There Are No Words For This
Jacob's Imprinting

Written by Katie Jo aka AVidZktjo

I had to kill that wretched creature and I didn't care who I would hurt. Bella had made her choice. Edward his. Now I was making mine. The demon spawn had to die. There was no denying it or changing it. I didn't care who tried to stop me. I didn't care if I perished in the midst of the fight. I was prepared to die. In fact, I welcomed it. There was no more reason to live anyway.

Life sucks and then you die. Ha! If only I had luck enough to die, luck enough to rip this pain from my bleeding heart. But luck was for the fortunate, the blessed, the normal people. I was the opposite of normal. But today that thought didn't break me. Today it ignited a fire in me. Today being Jacob was a good thing, a great thing, and I savored the thought. If I could die today, I would, but I was not going down unless I was taking that blood-sucking murderer with me.

As I neared the blonde who was cooing into the blanket that held the abomination, heat pumped through my veins and I could feel every hair on my body standing on edge the closer I got. I began to shake and I knew the transformation would overtake me at any second. I couldn't wait to sink my teeth in, to rip off that creature's head, to tear at every limb until there was nothing that remained. And Blondie couldn't stop me. She wouldn't have a chance to. I would be swift, precise, and accurate. The demon would be dead before the blonde could even blink. The thought sent a shiver of joy down my spine. A menacing smile touched my lips, the last smile I would probably have, but I didn't care. I enjoyed it.

The blonde suddenly put down the bottle of blood she was feeding the creature and lifted it up to her cheek. She cooed and laughed as she played with the demon child. How perfect, I thought. Blondie was not only distracted but she had lifted the creature up into an ideal position for me to strike. The heat running through my veins became more intense as I crouched down for the spring.

I could feel my whole being focusing on this creature, just itching for the kill. I could sense a pull on me, a force that felt stronger than any Alpha command, a force that would crush me if I were to run from it. It pushed me closer to the demon child, beckoning for my obedience. And obey I did. I wanted to. I yearned to. My smile became a snarl as I crouched lower. Blondie moved the demon spawn over to her shoulder and I could see the golden curls atop its head. This was it. The moment I'd been waiting for. A growl rose from deep within my chest. My lip curled up over my glistening teeth. And the loathing I had for this creature became my one and only focus. Then I saw it. The perfect opportunity to strike. But in that instant before I leapt, the creature focused its eyes on me and everything changed.

The heat filling my body suddenly vanished, quicker than it ever had before. But just as swiftly as it disappeared, a new fire was there to take its place. This fire did not burn through me as flames usually do. Instead it flowed through my veins with a warmth much greater than my own but a warmth that neither burned nor brought pain. In the same moment, it cooled my anger and warmed my heart. It glowed like the setting sun and filled my body with joy, a joy like nothing I had ever felt before. The warmth that flowed through my veins was uncontrollable and intoxicating and I could not remember a moment in my life that was more frightening or more fulfilling than this one. The fire burned away my pain and my sorrow and yet overwhelmed me with a sense of longing that overpowered everything in me, even my love for Bella.

As I looked into the warm brown eyes of the child whose gaze was fixed on mine, I could hear the strings that tied me to this life splitting and breaking away. My love for Bella was the first to disappear. The weight of it lifted off my shoulders in a heartbeat. The pain and suffering I had been harboring for months suddenly faded. It became a grain of sand in comparison to how I felt now. My love for my family, my father, my sisters, my brothers in the pack, all of it gone. My fears, doubts, worries, anger, hatred, sorrow, and pain vanished. All of it forgotten. My life had never felt more empty or more full. Where a string detached and blew away, a million more were put in its place. Only they weren't strings. They were stronger than mere strings. They were like unbreakable steel cables and each one lead to the same thing.

My life had never made more sense. My existence never had a greater purpose. My eyes had never seen more clearly than I did now. The universe was suddenly a mystery that I could solve. It was in balance, in perfect symmetry. And I could see it for the first time. I understood nothing and yet everything. My mind was reeling, my thoughts out of control, and my heart beat to the rhythm of a different life, a life that was now entwined with mine.

Part of me didn't want to believe it and yet how could I deny it? How could I run from it? How could I fight it? There was no going back from this moment. I could only move forward. And for the first time I was able to do just that. I was able to forget, to let go, to erase the pain from my heart. I had wanted this to happen, yearned for it. And now that it was upon me, I wondered how I had lived without it. How had I existed without this joy, without this happiness, without this love? For that's what it was, wasn't it?

Looking into the chocolate brown eyes set into a porcelain face, I knew exactly what I was feeling. It was love and yet it was more. Much more. It was deeper, stronger, and more real than life itself. It pulled me closer to the baby girl, refusing to let go. My heart was no longer my own. It belonged to her and there was nothing I could do to change that. But I didn't want to change that. I wanted this. The glowing fire that bound my life and heart to hers was something I never wanted to live without. It brought warmth and light and love into my life. She was the glowing fire, the burning flame, the growing love in my heart. And I knew I could never live without her. But more than that, I knew I never wanted to live without her.

The unexpected love that I shared for the young girl filled my heart to overflowing. It melted me, turning me from an angry monster into a love struck puppy. And yet this love that I felt for the half-human half-vampire child was not brimming with romantic passion though it was passionate. Instead this love that blazed within me like an all consuming fire was patient, kind, compassionate, committed, adoring, and unfailing. I looked on the golden haired girl with a longing to be near her, to make her every wish come true, and to be with her throughout her days no matter how long or short they may be.

I would be there for her, I decided. I would always be there for her. Whenever she called me, I would come. Whenever she needed me, I would be with her. And whatever she wanted of me, I would do. She was my world. My everything. For now I was her protector, her brother, her friend. And that was all I needed. That was all she needed. My thoughts never roamed past that. I was here for her in whatever form she needed me in. And that's all that mattered. Almost.

All of these changes passed through me in seconds. It was one tick of the clock. One heartbeat. And I was different. Changed. And now more than anything I wanted to hold her. My Renesmee. Her eyes were still locked with mine and in them I could see the reflection of my thoughts. Her outstretched arms only confirmed it. With a smile lighting up my face, I reached for her.

Unfortunately, my movements caught Blondie's eye and in a flash she stood to her feet, holding the baby girl closer to her chest. But Renesmee wouldn't have it. She squirmed and turned herself around until her eyes were locked with mine once more. Her tiny hands reached out for me again, grasping at the space between us. I took a step closer then, reaching my own hands out to hers. Blondie tried to hold the girl back but she wouldn't listen. I liked her already. The smile on my face grew wider as Blondie finally conceded and let the baby girl crawl into my arms.

I couldn't believe how warm she was. Nothing felt warm to me. But this darling little girl felt as warm as I was and it amazed me. Her chocolate brown eyes were still looking up into mine as she nestled deeper into my arms. Holding her was like living in a dream. I never wanted to wake up. She was perfect in every way. Her eyes were lovely and the rosy red at her cheeks was darling. She was a beautiful child, not at all like the Loch Ness Monster I had imagined. Hmmm…Ness. "That's what I shall call you," I said to the baby girl. "Nessie. My little Nessie." She must have liked the idea for a soft giggle escaped her mouth. I found myself laughing in return. And then the most unexpected thing happened.

Little Nessie had reached her hand up to my chin, and in an instant my vision was blurred with a memory I had seen before, only this time the view was different. I was seeing the memory through Nessie's point of view. Before my mind's eye I saw images of myself standing in awe of her as she was cradled in Blondie's arms. And then I saw myself reaching out for her tiny hands and holding her in my own arms. I saw my face as I looked down on her. I saw what she had seen in me. And I understood it. My Jacob. The adorable thought she shared washed over me in a rush of heat making the same glowing fire race through my veins anew. My Jacob. So she knew it just as I did. She was mine. And I was hers.

Just as quickly as the vision came, it vanished and I was staring back down at the baby in my arms who still had her hand on my chin. She smiled up at me and I easily returned the favor. So little Nessie had a gift. I didn't have long to ponder that thought though for I suddenly felt teeth biting into my flesh. At first I was too shocked to react. Then a terrible thought hit me. What if she was venomous? I quickly pulled her away from my chest and held her up in front of me. Her eyes displayed hurt at my reaction and she reached her hand out to my chin again.

This time the visions did not take me by surprise. Instead I quietly watched and listened as she explained to me that I smelled good to her and that I tasted good too. My eyes focused again on the baby girl held up before me and a smile crept back onto my face. What a coincidence. Little Nessie may have been half-vampire but she smelled wonderful to me. And here I was, a werewolf, and I smelled good to her too. It was a pleasant surprise.

But then I remembered her bite. I looked down at my chest. I was all healed up, of course, but was my heart going to stop any time soon? I waited for the inevitable to come but it never did. I looked back into little Nessie's eyes then and saw her light up. She was thinking the same thing as I was. I wouldn't die. She giggled again and I laughed with her.

What a darling child. Without a second thought, I cradled Nessie in my arms once more and brought my hand up to wipe the golden curls aside from her forehead. She nabbed my forefinger then, popping it in her mouth. I could feel her teeth digging into my skin but this time I didn't pull her away. Instead I let her sample my blood. She only bit down on my finger for a split second before she released me. Then she smiled and giggled some more.

Everything fit, perfectly balanced. There was no more pain in my life, no more suffering. My love for Bella had finally been pushed to the side. I could move on. I could live. And looking down at the darling baby girl in my arms, I knew what it was that I was living for now. My life would never be the same. It would be better. Complete. Everything I could possibly want was right before my eyes. Everything I could ever need was nestled in my arms. And there she would remain till the end of my days. For I was her Jacob and she my Nessie.

This little gem entered my mind while watching New Moon only a few nights ago. A friend and I went to go see it again in theatres before it hit DVD. It was as good as before if not better. The first time I'd seen it, I hadn't even read the books. I'd only seen the first movie, so I had no idea what was going on. But seeing it again after reading the books totally changed my perspective. They kept really true to the books I thought and it turned out great. But the other thing I realized while watching that movie was that I didn't feel sorry for Jacob anymore. Being a Jacob/Renesmee fan has changed all of that. I just wanted to yell at him to get over it cuz he'll have a better girl in the end. =D

Anyway, like I said, I was watching New Moon when this idea hit me. After coming to the end of Jacob's point of view in Breaking Dawn, I was totally bummed. I wanted more. I wanted to know what it was like for him to imprint, what exactly he was feeling, how he came up with her name, who was the first to discover her power (him), and so on. I wanted MORE! And the idea for writing it came to my mind while watching New Moon. I haven't even looked to see if anyone else has written something like this and I don't care. I wanted a go at it myself. I just hope I did it some justice. Leave a REVIEW and let me know.

Oh, and if you read the end of Jacob's POV in Breaking Dawn, you'll see that I used some of the same expressions as Stephenie Meyer did. Like the strings and the universe being in perfect symmetry and stuff like that. I didn't use her lines or anything, just the same concepts and ideas. I wanted to stay true to the book so I took notes and tried to keep the outline along with her ideas. I hope you like it. It was a tough one to write because I wanted everything to be perfect. Every sentence. Every paragraph. It took a while. But I hope it was worth it.

So READ, REVIEW, & ENJOY!!!

AVidZktjo