No Pain I Don't Like

A KakuHidan Fanfiction

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto Shippuden or the characters I talk about. Hidan and Kakuzu belong to Kishimoto.

"Hidan, stop snoring. I'm trying to count money."

"FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE! I'll sleep however I want! It's my damn room too!"

"Shut up or I'll kill you."

Hidan pouted. "Aw, come on, Kuzu!" he said, "Don't be like that! We both know you're too fucking soft to hurt me anyway!"

"Don't be so sure." The older man replied, "If I wasn't busy counting this cash, I would've already cut you to pieces."

The young Jashinist smirked. "HA! You fucking grandpa! I'm a MASOCHIST, you retard! I LIKE pain!"

"I'm sure I could find SOME kind you didn't enjoy." Kakuzu retorted.

"Not likely..."

Just then, he was grabbed by the Waterfall ninja, who forced his weight upon him.

Hidan was pinned down to the bed below the larger man. He didn't like where this was going.

"Hidan…"

"What is it you fat old bastard?!"

"Don't be so quick to assume I CAN'T hurt you. This is your own fault, you drove me to it."

Tentacle-like threads proceeded to come out of Kakuzu's body, and began wrapping around Hidan's.

They violently tore his clothing from his body, while simultaneously keeping his wrists at his sides.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOIN—Mmf! MM! MMM!"

More threads had come. But these didn't undress him. They held a pillow over his mouth.

"Shut up." Kakuzu said, "Your foul mouth is a big turn off."

Hidan struggled as much as he could, but couldn't get lose!

Damn it! He was really at a disadvantage here.

"Now hold still." the masked man said, "This will only hurt at first…"

He quickly shoved his member into Hidan's entrance, causing him to jolt in pain. He repeated this motion rhythmically, and this continued for a while.

Then it began growing faster, and faster, until Kakuzu was thrusting with full force and speed into the man below him.

Hidan squirmed and thrashed each time Kakuzu thrust into him. It had no effect. The older man still proceeded without hesitation.

Didn't he care if Hidan was in pain? At all?

But that wasn't the only thing that was irritating the ninja from the rain.

The worst part, Hidan thought, was that he was actually ENJOYING this!

Then the threads loosened, and the pillow dropped from His face.

"Finally!" he hollered, "HOW LONG DID YOU THINK YOU COULD—AHHH!"

He screamed out in pain and pleasure as his seme put himself back in.

"KAKU~ZUUU!"

"I told you it would get better."

"AH! Harder, Kuzu! HARDER!"

The thick threads spun Hidan around so he was lying on his stomach.

Kakuzu then proceeded to thrust in again.

"Ah!" the Masochist wailed, "That's… AH… much deeper!"

"KU~ZU! SO DEEP!

"Ah! KUZU!"

Kakuzu thrust into his partner until he felt his release come.

Panting, he fell onto the bed beside the silver haired man.

When they had both caught their breath, Hidan spoke.

"Hey Kuzu?" he asked.

"What?"

"Did you know, you really can be sweet when you try! You're really a sensitive guy after all!"

"Shut up, Hidan. If you tell ANYONE about this, I WILL kill you."

"I won't tell, asshole! It'll be our little secret." He said, "YOU'LL be MY little secret!"

Kakuzu chuckled, and Hidan smiled. Even if no one else knew, it didn't matter. He had someone who cared about him, and that was all he wanted.

Besides, now he had yet another thing to blackmail his seme with.

After all, pissing off his partner was what they each LIVED for. Well, that, and each other.