Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson have been best friends for as long as they can remember. They grew up together, went through puberty together, suffered, laughed, cried, and learned with one another. They are completely inseparable. They even go to McKinley together, where they are both currently in their junior year.
Best friends through and through, they know each other better than anyone else.
For example, Kurt Hummel is the only one who knows that Blaine is gay.
Neither of them ever told the other that they were gay. They just knew. One day, when they were about 11 years old, sitting in the privacy of Kurt's room, Kurt started talking about how cute he found a guy in their class. Blaine instantly started talking about the eyes of another guy in class- a cute boy with blue eyes that sometimes changed to green and gray.
So talking about boys was just natural for Kurt and Blaine. Just like being gay was natural for Kurt and Blaine. It was just part of who they were, even if Blaine didn't want anyone to know.
"Come on, Blaine! It's recess! Let's go play on the swings!" an 11 year old Kurt exclaimed at Blaine, grabbing his hand and running toward the swingset.
Blaine latched on to Kurt's hand, and set off running alonside his best friend.
They were interrupted, however, by a group of bigger boys. David Karofsky stood front and center.
"What do you want David? We're trying to play on the swings," Kurt asked with attitude.
"I want you to stop holding hands with boys. It's gross," Karofsky said, pushing Kurt.
Blaine wanted to defend his best friend, but Karofsky was a lot bigger than him, and he was scared. Kurt was scared, too. In fact, it looked like Kurt was going to cry. But Kurt was a lot braver than Blaine. He always had been.
"It's not gross! Blaine is my best friend, and if I want to hold hands with him, then I will! Right, Blaine?" Kurt asked, looking to his best friend for help. Blaine just stood there silently, gently removing his hand from Kurt's.
"See. Even your best friend knows it's wrong to be a fag," Karofsky snarled, pushing Kurt again. This time, Kurt fell to the ground and started crying.
He may be young, but he had enough years on him to know that fag was something he didn't want to be called. It was a mean, bad word. And it hurt every time someone yelled it at him.
"Just go away, Karofsky," Blaine said weakly, helping Kurt up off the ground.
Karofsky laughed at them, then walked away with his group of friends, all of them glaring at Kurt and Blaine as they passed.
Later that afternoon, in Kurt's room, Blaine had Kurt make a promise.
"Kurt... remember how a few weeks ago I told you how I thought a boy was cute. Well... I don't want anyone to know that except for you. I don't want to be called a fag. I don't want to be treated differently. I'm sorry. But can you promise to keep my secret for me?"
Kurt was reluctant, but this was his best friend. He would go to the ends of the earth from him, so he linked his pinky with Blaine's and promised to take his secret to the grave.
Five years later, Kurt had never broken his promise. No one but Kurt had any idea that Blaine was gay. Of course, Burt, Kurt's dad, suspected it from the amount of time that Kurt and Blaine spent watching musicals together. Kurt had come out to his dad the year before, but Burt had known since Kurt was a little boy and asked for a pair of sensible heels.
But Burt never asked Blaine about it. He figured Blaine would come out when he felt comfortable.
So Blaine got away with portraying a straight person, but Kurt wasn't so lucky. Kurt fit a lot of the stereotypes associated with gay people, so people at school just assumed that he was, even though Kurt had never come out to anyone but the glee club and his dad.
Kurt never had the chance at a normal life, like Blaine did. As a result, Kurt was bullied every day. His life was threatened by Dave Karofsky, his first kiss had been stolen by the same closeted bully, and he was constantly slushied, although Blaine occasionally got slushies too, but only for being in the glee club, and he didn't receive them nearly as often as Kurt did.
All in all, Kurt was depressed. Not an "I'm sad and I'm gonna go cry in a corner" kind of depressed, but legitimate, "I'm wearing the same outfit twice in one week and eating ice cream and don't want to talk to anyone" kind of depressed. And if you know Kurt Hummel, none of those things are normal for him. He's fashionable, thin, and fiesty. Those are all traits that made up Kurt Hummel. Blaine knew this better than anyone, so, of course he noticed that something was wrong when Kurt called him up one day to tell him they're going to Baskin Robbins.
Blaine knew about the bullying. He knew about the death threats. He knew about the slushies. But what he didn't know is how it feels. He's hiding from it all. He can't relate. Of course he hates that he has to hide who is he from everyone but Kurt, but he's safe that way. He's also sheltered that way, and can't give Kurt the empathy he needs.
So yeah, Kurt tells Blaine what's going on, but he doesn't tell him how it's effecting him. He doesn't tell him that he's depressed. He doesn't tell him that he cries himself to sleep at night. He doesn't tell him that he's sick and tired of dealing with it all alone. He doesn't tell him he wishes he wasn't the only out gay kid at school. He doesn't tell him that he hates himself most days. And he most definitely doesn't tell him that he is one of the main sources of his depression.
You see, Kurt Hummel is in love with Blaine Anderson. His best friend. His confidant. His everything. But he can't tell him, because Blaine doesn't want people knowing that he is gay. Blaine wouldn't be able to return Kurt's feelings, even if he wanted to, which Kurt is about 99.9% sure he doesn't.
So Kurt doesn't let Blaine in, or his dad, or Carole, or Finn. He has his dad's heart to worry about, and Carole has problems of her own with Finn and adjusting to married life again, and while Finn has come miles since becoming his brother, there is only so much Finn can do to actually help. And he doesn't want to tell Blaine how bad it really is because things are pretty great with Blaine, and he doesn't want to screw that up by dragging all of his problems into the mix.
So Kurt just pines for Blaine from a distance, trying his best to hide how depressed he has become. They continue to have sleepovers. They walk to class together. They eat lunch together every so often (Blaine persists that they can't sit next to each other every day because he has other friends to sit with too, but Kurt knows it's because Blaine is scared to be associated with a gay guy). And then, every night, he comes back to his house and cries. And then cries some more.
But yeah, Kurt doesn't tell Blaine that.
So basically, Kurt is dealing with all of this on his own and keeping it bottled up to the point of his own demise. And it's really starting to take a toll on him.
But Blaine's not stupid. He knows his best friend. And he knows that something is seriously wrong. He just wishes he could figure out what.
Which is why he calls him after school one day. He was on a mission.
"Hey Blaine," Kurt says, answering the phone, knowing without looking at the caller i.d. that it would be Blaine. It's always Blaine.
"Hey Kurt! What are you doing tonight?"
Kurt resists the urge to respond with "moping" and says, instead,
"Nothing much. Hanging out with you, I presume?"
"You presume correctly, good sir! I'll be over in 10 minutes."
"See you then."
Sure enough, ten minutes later, Blaine shows up in Kurt's room. They're past ringing door bells. Blaine just lets himself in.
"Hey you!" Blaine shouts, jumping onto Kurt's bed, tackling Kurt who is laying there flipping through a Vogue magazine.
"Oh my gosh, get off of me! You may be small, but you're still broader than me. You're crushing me!" Kurt yelped.
Blaine sat back instantly, putting a hand over his heart and faking a shocked expression.
"Kurt! You wound me!"
"You'll give over it," Kurt replies, being snippy.
"Yeah, yeah. So what do you want to do today?" Blaine asks, getting up and walking to Kurt's movie collection, flipping through it.
"Nothing... I guess... I don't know. You choose."
Perfect, Blaine thought. He walked back over to the bed and sat down, staring at Kurt with a serious expression. After a few seconds of silence, Kurt looked up, only to be startled by the intense gaze Blaine was staring at him with.
"What? Do I have something on my face?" Kurt asked, brushing his hand around his mouth, making sure there was nothing there.
"Kurt... we need to talk."
"...Oh? Ok? What about?"
"What's wrong?"
This caught Kurt off-guard. That was the last thing he was expecting.
"What do you mean what's wrong?" Kurt asked, trying his best to fake a smile. But, of course, Blaine could see right through it.
"Don't even try that fake-smile on me, Kurt Hummel. I see right through you. I know that something has been bothering you lately, and I want to know what it is. So spill."
But Kurt wasn't giving in that easily.
"Blaine, I have no idea what you're talking about. You're obviously going crazy, because you are having these absurd delusions that something is wrong with me, when honestly I'm perfectly fine."
"Like hell you are. Tell me what's wrong, Kurt. We've always been completely honest with each other. Please let me in," Blaine begged.
And that hits Kurt hard, his smile faltering. They had always been completely honest with one another, but Kurt just couldn't. He couldn't tell Blaine how badly he was hurting. He couldn't tell Blaine he was in love with him. He couldn't tell Blaine he wished he wasn't alone in all of this. Because all of those confessions would leave Blaine hurting, and he just couldn't do that to his best friend.
Blaine saw Kurt's smile falter, and reached out to take Kurt's hand.
"Kurt... please. What's wrong?"
"I- I can't tell you, Blaine. Please, understand that. This is my stuff. I just, I need to deal with this on my own. No... I have to deal with it on my own."
"No you don't!" Blaine argued back. "You don't have to deal with it on your own. I can help! Let me help, Kurt."
"No," Kurt replied with finality. He refused to give in.
Blaine was silent, contemplating his options here. He finally gave in to just guessing. You see, Blaine, like Kurt, was stubborn. He refused to give up so quickly.
"Is it a boy?"
Kurt freezes.
"Oh... so it is a boy."
Did Blaine sound? No, he couldn't sound disappointed.
"I'm sorry, Kurt. I know it sucks crushing on a straight guy. Well, I mean, I'm assuming he's straight, since there aren't any other gay guys at McKinley, with the exception of Karofsky, and I highly doubt you're crushing on him."
Kurt nodded, grateful that Blaine hadn't figure out it was him he was in love with.
"Yeah... it sucks..." Kurt sighed.
Because, yeah, as far as the rest of the world knew, Blaine was a straight guy. Kurt was technically crushing on yet another straight guy.
"Well, is that all that's bothering you?" Blaine asked, just knowing there had to be more to it than that. Kurt had had his heart broken before, and it was nothing like this. There was definitely more going on than what Kurt was telling him.
"Yeah, sure. Let's just watch a movie, ok?"
Blaine, of course, didn't believe him, but decided Kurt wasn't going to crack today, so the only thing he could do was give in and watch a movie with him, in hopes that doing what Kurt wanted would make him feel somewhat better. Maybe the least he could do was distract him from his problems for a little while.
A/N: A new story! Yay! This one will be relatively short... I'm thinking about 5 chapters right now, but who knows. It could always end up longer. Also, the other chapters should be longer in length. For some reason, the first chapter of my stories is always super short...
Anyway... if you like it, let me know! Also, if you have any ideas/suggestion, let me know about those too! I love incorporating readers' ideas, because you guys are always so much more clever than I am! Haha. :)
Much love!