To Find My Brother
Fire and pain, it was all Dean knew now, he had been in hell longer then he had ever lived topside, and he was starting to feel the edges of his memory begin to fade. Through out all the torture, he was beginning to forget the simple things, like what the sun felt like, or what the breeze felt like, but he never forgot his family, and he was at least content knowing Sammy was somewhere safe, that Bobby was watching out for him and that alone almost made the years of pain worth it, almost, after all he was still human, and there were days when he just wanted it to end.
"You know, I never get bored of this." Alistair hissed. "You always follow the same pattern, did you know that?" Dean stared up at the demon defiantly "You try for as long as you can to hold in the screams and the pain, but eventually you break, there is nothing better then the moment you break. I could teach you, you know, and then you wouldn't have to lay here day after day. You could be my apprentice, just say yes." Dean said nothing, for the first twenty or so years, he would fight back with words, just like he had on Earth, but that defense mechanism didn't work in Hell, so he stayed silent. It was another cycle of endless torture, it was the same thing everyday, but that day (not that you could measure time in hell in days) something odd happened. Another demon walked up to the edge of the rack.
"Sir?" Alistair turned on the demon in anger and she recoiled slightly.
"What do you want Mara? Can't you see I am busy entertaining our friend?" Dean relished the few moments he would have without pain, and couldn't help but think how pathetic he was, just sitting through the endless torture waiting for a little break.
"I am sorry, but it has been ordered you release him."
"Release him? From the rack? Nobody leaves the rack."
"He is." Mara stated simply, Dean was trying not to listen, he assumed this was another way to torture him, give him some hope that this would all stop and then laugh at him when he actually thought it was true.
"That is not possible, this is not how this is supposed to come to pass, I have yet to break him, he has not served hell yet, we need him to break the seal!"
"I know sire, but the order comes from Him, so we have no choice." Dean watched Alistair, and for just a second he saw a flicker of fear in the demons face, but it was gone when he turned back to Dean.
"Very well." Alistair snarled. "Consider yourself lucky, nobody has ever been given the opportunity you are being handed, I suggest you use it wisely because you definitely don't deserve it, I have seen cleaner souls then yours in this pit, and they will never be given a second chance, I hope to see you again someday Dean. Mara, take him away." Alistair disappeared into the darkness, and Mara turned towards Dean.
"You are lucky Dean Winchester, He isn't known for sparing damned souls, he doesn't care about us demons, and he definitely doesn't care about people who willingly souled their souls to Hell. I do not know why He considers you worth saving… I see nothing special in you, you are just another broken man, what could He possibly want with you?"
"Who?" Dean asked, voice gravelly from years of screaming and not speaking. Mara smiled darkly.
"I suggest you tread softly up there, cause if you aren't careful you could end up right back down here with Alistair, and I am sure he will be waiting, after all you are his favourite." Before Dean could say anything else, Mara placed a hand to his forehead and he woke up gasping for air in a wood coffin under the earth. When he broke through the crumbling wood at the top of his coffin, he relished that first breath of air, he had forgotten how it felt to fill his lungs full of oxygen and subconsciously he could still taste the blood and ash of the last forty years. He looked around and saw nothing but forest around him. He eventually found a road and followed it until he found an abandoned looking gas station, he didn't care as long as there was water and food, and he was amazed to discover a working pay phone on the edge of the lot. With some quarters he stole from the cash register, he called all of Sam's phones; he even called his old phones thinking that his brother may have left them activated, but none of them were in service, eventually he gave up calling the only other person he thought could help him.
"Yeah?"
"Bobby?"
"…Yeah?"
"It's me."
"Who's me?"
"Dean!" After a second the phone on the other end hung up, but Dean tried again, he had to convince Bobby he was alive.
"Who is this?" Bobby growled.
"Bobby listen to me-"
"This ain't funny, call again and I'll kill you." The phone was again hung up, so Dean did the only other thing he could do, he took an old beat up car from the lot of the gas station and made his way to Sioux Falls. After all these years, he felt perfectly comfortable driving down the open road, now only one more thing to do, he had to find his little brother. Dean pulled up the familiar drive way of the scrap yard, it hadn't changed, but Dean reminded himself he had only been gone for four months Earth time, he took a deep breath and knocked on the door coming face to face with Bobby Singer.
"Surprise." Dean said awkwardly. Bobby backed up in shock.
"I…I don't…"
"Yeah me neither, but here I am…" Bobby suddenly swung a silver knife at Dean, and he thanked whoever was listening that his reflexes were as good as ever, or Bobby would have chopped his head off. "Bobby! It's me!" It took some convincing, but Dean eventually convinced Bobby it was him, after being cut with a silver knife, and getting a bunch of holy water in the face. Dean dried off and attempted to explain his situation to his surrogate father
"…But that don't make a lick of sense…" Bobby said, Dean just rolled his eyes at the obviousness of that statement.
"Yeah you're preaching to the choir." Bobby looked at him incredulously.
"Dean your chest was ribbons, your insides were slop, and you've been buried four months, even if you could slip out of hell and back into your meat suit…"
"I know, I should look like a Thriller video reject…"
"What do you remember?"
"Not much…" Dean lied; nobody had to know what he remembered from hell, he didn't want anyone to take pity on him. "I remember I was I hell hounds chew toy, and then lights out, then I come to six feet under that's it…." Dean watched Bobby for a second, the swallowed before he could ask the question he was dying to ask. "Sam's numbers not working, he uh… he's not…?"
"Oh he's alive, as far as I know." Dean sighed in relief.
"Good." Then he paused and looked at Bobby. "Wait, what do you mean as far as you know?"
"I haven't talked to him for months…"
"You're kidding me, you just let him go off by himself?"
"He was dead set on it."
"Bobby, you should have been looking after for him." Bobby turned and looked at Dean like he had said the dumbest thing possible.
"I tried, these last months haven't been exactly easy you know, for him or me, we had to bury you."
"Why did you bury me anyway?"
"I wanted you salted and burned, usual drill but Sam wouldn't have it." Dean kind of scoffed.
"Well I'm glad he won that one."
"He said you'd need a body when he got you back home some how." Dean's eyes narrowed. "That's about all he said."
"What do you mean?" Dean asked slowly.
"He was quiet, real quiet then he just took off, wouldn't return my calls, I tried to find him, but he don't wanna be found." Dean ran a hand over his face and sighed.
"Damn it Sammy…"
"What?" Bobby asked.
"Oh he got me home okay, but whatever he did it is bad mojo…"
"What makes you say that?" Dean licked his lips and tossed the towel he was holding on the desk and sat down in an old rickety chair.
"There is one thing, I remember from my time down under." Bobby eyes him carefully.
"What's that kid?"
"A demon… her name Maya? No Mara, she came over to me, and told the demon that was torturing me that I had been released."
"Released? Souls don't just get released from hell Dean."
"I know that Bobby, but she said that the order had come from Him, so they had no choice, and then she told me I was lucky, because He isn't known for sparing souls." Bobby sighed and poured some whiskey, and handed a glass to Dean.
"So we gotta find out who He is, and why he released you."
"That's the thing, if this demon is so powerful, that he can have a soul released from the pit, just like that and not have the others fight him, what the hell could Sam of possibly given him to convince him to do that?"
"You think Sam made a deal?" Dean nodded.
"It's what I would have done… so we gotta find him and quick."
"How? You said you already tried all of his phones, how are we possibly gonna find him?" Dean tried to think like his brother, and where he would possibly go, but he couldn't think of anywhere except Bobby's, they had no one else except Bobby.
"I don't know, for starters call every hunter you know, have them on the look out, most of them at least know who Sam is, and call Ellen, find out if she has seen him in the last few months. If he made a deal with a high level demon, something tells me he doesn't have long."
"Alright, I'll put in a call to every contact I got, but Dean, Sam learned how to stay off the radar from the best, don't be surprised if no one has seen him. If he doesn't want to be found, he ain't gonna hang around with other hunters, hell most hunters don't trust him anyway thanks to Gordon Walker, and the psychic crap." Dean sighed, it was definitely a long shot, but then an idea popped into his head and he smiled.
"We got one more person to ask."
"And that person is?"
"The demon that came to tell me the good news."
"Mara."
"Yep, seems like a good day for a little demon summoning, what to you think?" Bobby sighed.
"To think, you just got back from hell, and you don't even get a day off." Dean laughed.
"I'll take a day off when I'm dead… the next time… maybe." They got together the necessary ingredients and fixed up any spots in devils trap that were damaged, they hadn't used it lately, and then they summoned Mara, and there she was in the devils trap. She eyed Dean and smiled.
"Dean Winchester, did you miss me?"
"No, if it was up to me you would be rotting in hell, but I need to ask you a quick question."
"I helped free you, I do not believe I owe you anything." Bobby splashed her with holy water, and she screamed as the steam rolled off of her.
"You owe me an explanation, who is the demon who ordered my release?" She stood up and laughed.
"I can't tell you that."
"Why?"
"Cause I refuse to be thrown on the rack myself, I am less concerned with what you will do to me, He will rip me to pieces. You may have that fancy demon killing knife, but he will rip me to shreds." Dean smiled.
"What makes you all so terrified of him? Even Alistair seemed scared of him, you may be a low class scum under everyone's boot demon, but Alistair, he runs things down there, what could be so powerful about this Demon, that you are all terrified of him?"
"For starters, he isn't a demon."
"Then what is he?" Mara shook her head, and laughed.
"Exorcise me, kill me, do whatever you need to do, I will never tell you."
"Fine." Dean picked up the exorcism, and wished he had the demon knife with him, but Sam had it, wherever he was.
"Can I give you one piece of advice?"
"Sure, why not, please advise me Dr. Phil."
"I know how smart you are Dean, and I know how good of a hunter you are, so I know you will eventually figure all this out, but do yourself a favour, don't go looking for Him."
"Thanks, but I will take my chances, there is someone more important I have to find."
"Yes I know, you are looking for your little brother, when you get to the end of this road, you're going to be disappointed." Dean didn't know what that meant, so he did what he always did, he exorcised her, and when she was gone, he sat down and drank some whiskey, trying to figure out what to do next. Bobby sat down beside him, and watched Dean for a few minutes.
"So what we do next?" Dean sighed.
"I have no idea, I don't even know where to start looking. Where could he possibly go? Anyone he knew before thinks he is dead, and he doesn't trust anybody else, but he can't just disappear off the face off the planet either…" Bobby sighed " Dean… you said you didn't remember much, so who's Alistair?" Dean shook his head.
"Can we leave my hell in the pit for now?"
"Yeah, just you know, I'm here if you need to talk."
"Jesus…you grew a uterus when I was gone didn't you?"
"Shut up, Idgit." Dean jumped when the phone on the wall rang.
"Singer." Bobby said, after a minute he past the phone over to Dean.
"Hello?" Dean said.
"Jesus Dean… I am so happy to hear your voice." Dean smiled.
"Hey Ellen, how's everything going?"
"Well now that we know that you are back, everything is just peachy, I am glad you are okay Dean, but I know you didn't call just to chat."
"Yeah, anything on Sam."
"I haven't seen him, but Joe ran into him awhile back. She was working a Wendigo case in Kentwood Michigan and she saw him outside a hunter's bar, Hunter's Wake, catchy name for a hunters meet up right? Anyway, he told her it was important that she didn't tell anyone she saw him, and she didn't until now, but when she heard you were back she thought you would want to know."
"Okay, how long ago?"
"About three weeks? I'm sorry I don't have anything fresher for you."
"No that's great, at least now I have a place to start, was he with anyone?"
"No, he was alone, but he took off quick."
"Alright thanks Ellen."
"Hey Dean? Keep me posted okay? You aren't the only one we've missed, bring that boy around when you find him okay?"
"You know I will, save us a couple of cold ones."
"Will do, good luck Dean." Dean hung up the phone and stood up.
"Kentwood Michigan, Hunter's Wake bar, that's where we start."
"Alright." Bobby said. "Lets go find him." They packed up as quickly as they could, and got into Bobby's car, it was an eleven hour drive, but they made it in nine, breaking every speed limit on the way there. The bar was about what you would expect, it looked like the Roadhouse and it was full of the same ragtag men and women Dean had known all his life, most of them looked up when him and Bobby walked in, and the ones who knew who Dean Winchester was began to whisper about how he had been brought back all the while questioning if he was entirely human or not. Dean ignored them; he didn't have time to prove anything to them. He walked over to the bar, towards the man tending it.
"What'll it be?" The bartender asked.
"Just some information." Dean replied. The bartender bent down and smirked.
"What kind of information you looking for son?" Dean took a picture out of his wallet that he had found at Bobby's and held it up for the man to see.
"Have you seen this guy, he is a little older now, but same floppy hair, stupidly tall." The bartender stood up straight.
"Why you looking for him?"
"He's my brother." The bartender gawked at Dean.
"So you're Dean Winchester then?" The bartender laughed. "Well I'll be damned, what is it with you Winchester's and crawling out of Hell? First your Daddy then you, you must be some stubborn sons of bitches..."
"Yeah, it's a family trait, now have you seen my brother?"
"Yeah, Sam was here, haven't seen him in a over a week though. He didn't really talk much, mostly he just sat there in the corner on his laptop researching, kid's a hell of a hunter though, he would take jobs from me solo, that most groups of guys I know would run from with their tails between there legs."
"So he picks up hunts here?"
"Yeah, he would never let anyone come with him though, it was weird. Anyway, he hasn't been here lately, and I have no idea where he is."
"Alright, can I leave my number here? If he comes in tell him to call okay?"
"Sure." Dean went to walk away, but then turned back.
"Hey man, one more question."
"Okay shoot."
"Has anyone sent him on any demon hunts lately?"
"You know, it is funny you mention that cause, no, after the Devils Gate opened, there were demons everywhere, but there hasn't been a single possession around here in months." Dean frowned.
"Okay, thanks." Dean turned and walked out of the bar with Bobby on his tail.
"I saw that face, what are you thinking kid?"
"I don't know, just doesn't it seem weird that there are no demons here? If Sam was looking to yank me out of hell, he would be finding demons, looking for one who could do the dirty work, why would he go to a demon free zone?"
"I'm not entirely sure he did that by choice, I haven't heard about many possessions lately, honestly I haven't heard of any hell hound attacks in the last little while either, I should have thought about that…"
"Well, we are going to have to find one."
" You thinking Crossroads? Demons gotta keep making deals right?"
"Sounds good to me." The two hunters made their way to a crossroads just outside of town, a place where traffic wasn't like to go by, and summoned a crossroads demon into the center of a devils trap. The demon snarled.
"Dean Winchester, after all the time you spent in the pit, I would have thought you would be running as far from all of us as possible."
"Guess I'm just not that smart, I could use your help." The demon laughed.
"Out of hell for one day, and you are already trying to make a deal again? Getting homesick Dean?"
"Oh no, you won't be getting anything in return for this, just your life. Who ordered my release?"
"I am not at liberty to discuss it."
"You mean, not for free, cause you only haggle in souls."
"Please Dean, I don't your hell broken little soul, that charred thing is worth nothing to me, so if you will excuse me I must be going." The demon mumbled something under her breath, and the concrete cracked, destroying the devils trap. The demon launched herself at Dean and held him hard by the throat and pinned him and Bobby up against a tree.
"You Winchester's never know when to call it quits, I will teach you a lesson about that."
"You will do no such thing Cali." She kept them pinned, but stared at the behind Dean at the newest voice. "You were given strict orders, you do your business here, and that is all, lives are not for you to take."
"They summoned me, I was merely escaping."
"You could've escape without hurting them, now get out of my sight before I end your little career that you have here." Dean felt the hand release him and Bobby slumped to the ground unconscious, little black dots filled Dean's sight, and he looked up to see the silhouette of a man, before he passed out.
Dean woke up hours later with a killer headache and when he rolled onto his side, he definitely knew he had some bruised ribs. He groaned in pain and attempted to open his eyes, which felt like bricks were holding them down.
"Bobby?" He croaked out.
"He isn't here Dean." A voice answered. Dean looked across the room at the figure sitting on the neighboring bed.
"Sammy?" Sam looked up at Dean with a vacant expression.
"Hey Dean."
"Where's Bobby?"
"He is safe, and back in Sault Falls." Dean pushed himself up on the mattress.
"Jesus Christ Sam, are you okay?"
"I'm fine."
"Why am I back, what kind of deal did you make?" Sam smiled slightly.
"I didn't make a deal Dean, I made a choice."
"What does that mean?"
"It doesn't matter." Sam stood up and slid Dean's necklace off of his neck and gave it back to Dean. "This is yours, your car is in the parking lot, I didn't throw any of your stuff away so it is all in there, and here you need this more than I do." Sam took the demon killing knife out of his sheath and put it on the end table next to Dean.
"Sammy, where the hell have you been?"
"I have been a lot of places. You shouldn't need that knife, the demons have been ordered to stay away from you." Dean stared at Sam and when his back was turned he took out a flask and splashed Sam with holy water, Sam's eyes didn't go back and it didn't steam, but you could tell it hurt Sam when it hit him. Sam whipped around and held out his hand, and the flask flew out of Dean's hand and across the room to Sam's. Dean's jaw dropped, and Sam sighed.
"I'm not a demon Dean, I'm your brother, so don't ever do that again. Now I have to go, keep yourself safe."
"No Sam, you aren't going anywhere!" Dean reached out and grabbed Sam's shoulder and he found himself hitting the wall gently, but he was firmly kept there by a force he couldn't see.
"Go back to Bobby's, hunt some ghosts, or settle down, that's up to you, but do not come looking for me again."
"Sam wait, we can fix this, just tell me who you sold your soul to, who is making you do this? Who got me out of hell?" Sam frowned.
"I didn't sell my soul, and I already had these powers Dean, they were just awakened."
"Oh yeah, then why did Alistair let me go? What do they have on you?" Sam laughed sadly.
"Dean, you're my brother and I'd die for you, but they have nothing on me. They let you go, because I commanded it, and none of them who care to live, will move against me. Good bye Dean." Once the door closed that invisible force let go of Dean and he ran out to the parking lot, but nobody was there, Sam was already gone.