A/N- This is a one-shot list of all Kakashi's late excuses. And it shall be funny! Whoo-hoo! Reading the disclaimer today shall be... Orochimaru!

Orochimaru: No.

Me: Bring it out!

Workers: (bring out small cage)

Me: Do it or I will unleash the power of... THE PMSing 12-tailed jinjuriki!

???: (Growls)

Orochimaru: (sweat-drops) W-who is that?

Me: you don't need to know. NOW READ THE DISCLAIMER OR FEEL HER WRATH!

Orochimaru: KrazeeNingaChick doesn't own Naruto. Can I leave now?

Me: I don't give a crap! Here, take this small, innocent little boy as a gratitude present to do whatever, you sicko.

Orochimaru: this is better than Christmas!

Little boy: Syke! I'm an ANBU Black Op undercover! You're under arrest for attempted rape!

Me: about time somebody put that pedophile away. NOW ON WITH THE STORY!

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Kakashi: I was late because...

I got lost on the path of life.

I was helping an old lady cross the street.

A black cat crossed my path, so I had to go the long way.

My favorite author was in town, & I just had to get a signed copy of his new book.

Iruka wanted to know how I was, & we ended up making out.

I was eating some ramen with Naruto, but he took off without paying. I didn't have any money, so I had to wash dishes to pay off the bill.

Pakkun had an accident, & I couldn't find the vacuum.

I got arrested by accident and it took a while to clear my name.

I had to find Carmen Sandiego.

I got trapped in Narnia.

Horton heard a who, so I had to take him to the mental hospital.

Cookie Monster had to get his stomach pumped, and he wanted me to be there.

I was sealing a tailed beast.

Tsunade wanted to borrow my ointment.

Sai wanted to borrow the first Icha Icha paradise, but it took me a while to find him.

I had to pick up more ointment when Tsunade borrowed the rest of mine.

I was fighting Itachi Uchiha and I got trapped in his Genjutsu.

Sasuke wanted to know where his razor was.

Gaara wanted my opinion on his new kind of eyeliner.

Karin was being a douche, so I killed her & it took longer than I'd thought to hide the body.

Naruto ran out of ramen, so I had to pick some up.

Kisame defiled my friend, so I had to hunt him down & kill him.

I had to pick up some more dog food.

I FELT LIKE IT! IS THAT SO HARD! I FELT LIKE BEING LATE! YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!?!?

I felt like cutting with Sasuke.

Gai challenged me to an arm-wrestling contest.

I was on Death Row.

I don't feel like telling you that.

I hate society, animals, & just people in general.

I just am...

I had to pick up the new copy of Icha Icha Paradise.

My favorite flavor of pop-tarts was discontinued, so I had to stage a rally.

I had to take Tobi to the mental hospital.

Spider-man needed my help.

I tried to create my own nudist colony, but no one would join.

I found out my refrigerator was a portal to another world.

I like pie.

Starbucks was out of Vanilla Fraps.

I saw Chuck Norris, and had to run & hide for the sake of the life.