Title: Do You Expect Me To Sing For You Behind These Gilded Prison Bars?
Disclaimer: Merlin is owned by the BBC and other associated parties. I do not make any profit from this story and the plot is purely fiction.
Summary: Canon-AU, in a secluded castle, a man contemplates his past and his future.
Rating: PG-15
Warnings: Alternate Universe- vampire, fantasy violence and gore, minor character death, non-con, imprisonment, biting, forced isolation, dark fantasy.
Pairings/Characters: Merlin, Gaius, Uther, Arthur, Gwen, Morgana.
Word Count: 7,645
Author's Note: So this is my piece for the Merlin_Games Grand Champion Tournament. Thanks to Spacii for betaing my work. I had a hard time starting this fic. I knew what I wanted to write, but starting it was difficult. Then of course finding time and a willingness to sit down and write it had to be found, but it's done.
xXx
Present
Holding his hand out, the man reaches out, passing his pale appendage through the open window only to pull it back with a hiss. The shield over the window flares bright green momentarily before fading. By now, this has become a sort of routine, testing the limits of the bars that cage him in. They have held for years now and he doubts they will break anytime soon.
Turning his back with a swirl of his robe, Merlin walks stiffly away, rubbing his still stinging palm on his cloth-covered thigh. His steps echo hollowly in the dimly lit hall. The castle is silent, empty of all life except for him. He's alone here, has always been alone here since the first day he arrived. There is no staff to clean or cook, all is cared for by magic. He is shut away from the world, just a memory by now.
Already, his feet have taken him down the hall and up one stairwell. The room he enters is brighter, an almost cheerful fire greets him, except there is no heat coming off of it and the flames are red tinged with green tips. Sighing, he walks over to his usual place to sit. His book is still where he left it, tucked under the cushions and blanket that make up his little nest-of-an-alcove.
A window, nearly the width of the alcove and twice as high, gave him a perfect view of the outside. There is only one path in and out of the castle, a single bridge over a dark abyss that serves as a moat and a high wall surrounding the castle to keep even the most skilled climbers out. There is no water at the bottom, only a long fall and jagged rocks to tear at your body. The bridge is guarded by guardian status, gargoyles that come to life in the presence of any not there master and kill all intruders to this dark place.
Curling up on the cushions, he tries to read his book. He's read many books since coming here. He's learned about many things, of lands so far away they seem to be only a dream and of so many different types of people. He's never seen any of them, but he likes to imagine what they could be like.
Sighing in frustration at his inability to focus, he sets his book down to stare out the window. It's dark out, clouds overcast that gives the world a look of an early night. It has always been this way, and except for the few rare occasions when a ray of sunlight or moonlight pierced the clouds, it will always be this way.
He remembers what the sun used to feel like on his skin. The warmth as it shone down, turning the ripe grain in the fields golden during harvest season. Even the dim, sharp glare of it in the winter had always, making the snow blanketing the ground glow and the day less dreary. Those days were so long ago, he wonders now how he could have been so naïve then to think he could ever escape his fate…
Past
Merlin could only gawk in amazement at the castle before him. Towering over him, it was made of white stone that seemed to glow under the sun. Looking down, he could only stare in trepidation at the crowds of people moving through the city. He had never seen so many people living so close together before. They were doing everything, from hawking their wares to pumping water from the local well. It was overwhelming.
Squaring his shoulders, Merlin continued on down the hill to Camelot, his last chance at a home. Shifting his pack to sit more comfortably on his shoulders, he weaved through the city, ignoring those yelling out for him to buy their goods.
By the time he reached the castle proper, he was winded from pushing through so many people. Glancing around, he noticed a couple of guards standing at attention, eyes flicking over the throngs of people. Walking over, he hesitantly engaged one of them, "Um…where can I find the Court Physician?"
The guard pointed to a door behind him, "Up those stairs." Nodding in thanks, Merlin went through that doors and started the long climb up the stairs. Panting by the time he reached the top, he paused to catch his breath before continuing. Walking down the hall, he stopped at a door with a plaque next to it, "Court Physician" burned into the wood.
Knocking tentatively, he pushed the door open, poking his head around the door. "H-hello," he called out.
An older man stood behind a table littered with an assortment of unknown items, bits of glass gleamed behind stacks of parchments and leather-bound books. His gaze flicked up at Merlin's voice piercing blue eyes settling on Merlin. He set the mortar and pestle he was holding down. "Yes?" he asked, walking around the table, easily avoiding the odds and ends sticking out over the table's edge.
Walking further in, Merlin shut the door. "Are you Gaius, the Court Physician?" Merlin asked, setting his pack down. He took a quick look around the room, noticing the second story of bookshelves and in the back a shelf of bottles. A small cot was tucked away in a corner, the blankets neatly done up.
"I am. How can I help you my boy?" Gaius beckoned him over to the table as he picked up his glasses, settling them on his nose. His face was lined heavily, white hair falling in wisps around his face and receded from his hairline.
"I'm Merlin," he said, holding out his hand.
"Merlin? Hunith's son? What are you doing here, my boy?" Gaius asked, shaking Merlin's hand as he looked Merlin over, his face lighting up with a small smile.
"It's just that my mum used to talk about you all the time. She always looked forward to your letters and…" Merlin trailed off unsure of what to say, looking down at the gray stone floor instead of at Gaius.
"'Used to?' What's happened?" Gaius asked, his face turning grave.
"They…they're all gone," he finally said, "including mum." He could feel heat prickling behind his eyes and fought back the tears.
"What happened?" Gaius asked again, gripping his shoulder and steering him to a low stool.
Sniffing softly, Merlin continued, "I'm not sure. I wasn't there at the time. I came back and some of the homes were on fire, the livestock were slaughtered as well. I went looking for mum first. It…it was horrible. I got out of there and threw up. John, our neighbor was still alive when I found him. He told me why they attacked, but he couldn't say who had done it."
"What was the reason?" Gaius asked, though his face seemed to show that he already knew.
"There had been a rumor of magic in our village. John told me that they had come for the sorcerer, had even accused the villagers of hiding him and just attacked," Merlin swallowed heavily and continued," He said they went on a rampage and then-then he died." Merlin wrapped his arms around his middle, breathing shallowly.
"When was this?" Gaius asked, standing up and walking over to a kettle hanging over a fire. Using a hook to pull it off the flames he poured a strong smelling tea into a wooden cup and handed it to him. Merlin smiled wanly in thanks. "A week ago; I couldn't bury them all, there were too many, but I couldn't leave them to the animals. I burned them in their homes, so no one could loot them. I tried to stay as long as I could, but with nowhere to stay and no way to bring in the harvest all by myself, I was forced to leave."
"Mum used to always say good things about you, so I came here, hoping you would be able to help me." Merlin looked up at the older man with a small bubble of fear in his gut that he might turn him away, tell him he couldn't help. Gaius was his last hope.
"You did the right thing and I can be of help. I had actually been talking with you mother about having you sent here, to have you as my assistant. I'm getting on in years and could use someone younger to help me out on my rounds." Gaius smiled kindly down at him.
"I don't wish to intrude," Merlin began.
"Don't worry, my boy. You are welcome here. There is a room through that door. You'll have to help me clear it out, as I've been using it as storage mostly, but it will serve nicely for you." Merlin nodded but when he started to stand, the physician pushed down on his shoulder. Merlin looked up at him questioningly. "I must ask this Merlin. Was there a sorcerer in your village?" The words were spoken in a hushed tone as Gaius leaned in closer.
Merlin stiffened, wary now, of why Gaius wanted to know. "I will not say a word to anyone else, but I must know." Merlin nodded reluctantly. "Who?" Merlin didn't say anything, just stared up at Gaius. It seemed to click for the old physician and his face grew grave. "Oh, Merlin, I'm sorry that this happened."
"It's my fault, Gaius. If I had been there when they attacked, maybe they would have been spared or I could have stopped them," Merlin mumbled softly and Gaius had to strain to hear him.
"It is not your fault for what you are, but Merlin, you must know this before you agree to stay here." Merlin looked up at him, confused. "The royal family and the nobles of this court, they will know the scent of magic as well as the taste, just as those vampires that attacked your village could smell it in Ealdor. You must not use your gift or else they will know what you are. If they find out, I can't protect you from the fate of being bound to one of them."
Merlin shuddered as he remembered tales of what happened to sorcerers bound to a vampire. Vampires, like all magical creatures lived off magic, but the only way they could get it was through the blood of human or other magical creatures.
Humans were innately magical, though few had more than a small amount in them. When a vampire drank from them, they took the magic as well as the blood. All vampires searched for sorcerers, witches, warlocks especially. Anything with large amounts of magic as the stronger the magic in the blood, the stronger the vampire became. There were tales of people who were suspected of sorcery disappearing in the night only to be found the next day, drained.
"I won't," Merlin promised.
Gaius nodded, "Good and as long as none taste your blood, you'll be safe. Are you sure you wish to stay here?" Merlin nodded again. Where else would he go? "All right then, come help me clear the room out."
Present
He'd been so naïve thinking that Gaius alone could protect him. Turning from the window with a snort of disdain, he stood again. Gaius is dead, has been for too many years to count. He hadn't known then that Gaius had been a sorcerer as well, a sorcerer bonded to Uther as a young man.
Of course, by the time he had learned of this, it didn't matter. Not one whit. He remembered the first night he ever met Uther Pendragon and his son Arthur. That night, fate decided it was done waiting. He could recall with perfect clarity, and it was both a blessing and a curse at times for there were some things he wished he could forget.
Merlin stood motionless for a second, taking in his surroundings. The room he is in is large with a high ceiling and intricate stone work, buttresses shaped into creatures, arches overlooking over doorways. Red drapes adorn the walls, giving it the room a lived in look. Yet, if you look closer you can see the cloth is thread bare and is starting to unravel, bits chewed on by insects. The walls are crumbling, the mortar between the bricks disintegrating slowly with time, and cracks snake through the chiseled buttresses.
Walking angrily from the room the memories come unbidden to Merlin as he paces down the unlit halls of his prison, his steps echoing hollowly around him…
Past
"I have to serve at the feast?" Merlin asked him.
"Unfortunately, all servants must serve in rotations. The newest people on staff serve at this time of year, when the court is less full. It gives them time to become acquainted with serving a smaller amount of people so they aren't overwhelmed by the numbers when the full court is gathered in spring and summer. Don't worry; you'll do fine my boy. You will just be filling goblets with wine when someone waves for you. Just don't spill it and come when called and you'll get through the night." Gaius patted his shoulder, in an attempt to sooth away his nerves.
Gulping, Merlin stared down at the uniform that had been delivered just now. It was finer than anything he'd ever worn, the seams all even, the colors bright and gleaming in comparison to his raggedly stitched and dull shirt that he'd worn for the last three years.
"I'll be there to keep an eye on you, as will Gwen. If you have any questions just ask one of us." He pushed Merlin gently in the back, sending him forward a bit. "Now, go get changed. The feast starts in an hour and the cook likes to have all of her servers gathered to go over seating arrangements." Merlin paled a little at the thought of having to memorize names.
The banquet hall buzzed with conversation. Already half the night had gone by and only a few had left for their beds. Merlin was one of a group of four others pouring wine tonight, each one stationed at a wall. As someone raised a hand, they would scurry forward to pour. He hadn't spilled yet, but there had been a few close calls.
His arms were aching from holding the heavy jug. It had been refilled twice already and he hoped the feast would be winding down soon. Seeing a hand go up near him, he turned automatically and froze as he realized the hand was at the head table. Mind forcing him to move, he carried himself over to the table, keeping his eyes down.
Pouring the red liquid into the glass, he went to step away again when his arm was caught in a vice grip and he was forced to either stop or trip and spill the wine. "You're new," the deep voice of the hand commented and he nodded. "Look up when your king speaks to you, boy." Merlin jerked his head up, eyes wide. "Where have you been hiding then if I haven't seen you around the castle?"
"I-I work for Gaius as his apprentice. I started last week," Merlin stuttered, trying not to shy away from this powerful man. He hoped the king wouldn't be able to smell his magic, but he didn't want to test that theory very much.
Uther was an imposing figure, his graying brown hair cut short and brushed back high off his forehead. Hard, green-blue eyes seemed to slice right through him, the long scar above his right eye only leading Merlin's to his no matter how he tried to look away. His robe was made of crushed velvet dyed a blood red, the gold of his jewelry a striking contrast against the cloth. His mouth curled up in the corner sardonically as he watched Merlin squirm.
"Ah, I had hoped he would pick an apprentice soon. He has gotten too old to be running about at all hours." He released Merlin's arm and waved a hand in dismissal.
Merlin bowed slightly, as much as he could with the jug in his hands and shuffled away, heart pounding in his ears and throat closed and dry. Leaning against the wall for a minute, he took a deep breath before looking to where Gaius was seated. The man looked worriedly at him and Merlin smiled to convey that he was all right.
Merlin breathed deeply as he emerged from the kitchens, leaving the heat behind. The feast had ended finally and he had been allowed to set his jug down and eat. His arms felt like limp rope at his sides and his shirt was sticking uncomfortably to his back and sides.
Groaning tiredly, he swiped a hand at his eyes and tried to stay awake enough to find his way back to Gaius's rooms. Yawning, he turned a corner and froze at the sight before him. The king and his son, Arthur Gaius had informed him, appeared to be in some sort of argument.
Hoping neither had seen him, he started to back away, but his luck didn't hold out, as his movement was spotted by the blond prince. Hard blue eyes snapped to his and Merlin froze like prey before the predator. Uther noticed his son's movement and turned to look as well.
He frowned momentarily before he spoke up, "Boy, come here." Merlin felt himself compelled to move and walked forward stiffly.
"Father," Arthur hissed under his breath, glaring at Uther.
"If you will not listen to reason, perhaps action will suffice." Uther snapped his fingers at Merlin's slow pace and Merlin hurried over to where the two men waited, one glaring daggers, the other smirking. "What is your name, boy?" Uther asked him.
"M-Merlin, sire," he said, only just remembering to add the 'sire' at the end.
"I will not stand for this father," Arthur growled, all but ignoring Merlin's presence.
"You are unwilling to choose for yourself, Arthur, so it comes to reason that I will have to choose for you. You cannot keep taking only the bare minimum to survive. You require a permanent donor and if you keep denying yourself, you will only cause more harm than good." Merlin fought the whimper that wanted to escape, both from the pain where Uther's hand was clamped on his shoulder, but also for the fact that they were talking about him becoming a donor, for the prince. It was a death sentence.
"I will not have you tell me how to live my life father," Arthur spat, eyes blue fire in his anger, and he whirled around, cloak flaring dramatically as the prince stormed off down the hall. Uther sighed behind him and his grip eased.
"Merlin," Uther said softly and Merlin jumped, looking up at his king. "You will report to Arthur's chambers tomorrow morning as his new manservant. I will talk with Gaius to sort out an appropriate schedule so that you may serve both."
Merlin's stomach seemed to fall down to his feet. "Yes, sire." With a gentle shake of Merlin's shoulder, the king was gone. Merlin stood there, frozen to the spot. The one thing he had wanted to avoid had just happened in the space of a few minutes. Could this day get any worse?
"What were you thinking?" Gaius yelled as he stood in the middle of the room. He'd only just gotten back to Gaius's tower when the physician himself stormed into the room. Apparently Uther didn't like to wait.
"You think I wanted this?" Merlin yelled back. "I couldn't just bloody well tell the king and the crown prince no, now could I?" Merlin paused for breath and looked over to Gaius. "What do I do now?"
"I don't know my boy. You're the prince's manservant as of tomorrow morning. As for being a donor, well, it depends entirely on Arthur. Arthur is stubborn, just like his father, and having his hand forced like this will not sit well. He may not feed off you just to spite Uther," Gaius reasoned out.
"Do you think that'll happen? The prince didn't look too happy when he left," Merlin said, easing down onto a stool with shaky knees.
"We'll just have to see. Arthur is not like Uther, he prefers willing donors and if you say you don't want to be his donor, he won't push the issue. It's Uther we have to worry about," Gaius mussed.
"Uther?" Merlin asked.
"Uther has been known to take something from Arthur and use it to make an example. The last time this happened, Uther took one of Arthur's dogs and drowned it when Arthur became too attached to it. Arthur wouldn't speak with him for two months," Gaius told him.
"Drowned it? Please don't tell me I have drowning or some other form of death to look forward to?" Merlin asked, face pale.
"I don't know, my boy. We're in a bit of a snarl here. Only time can tell," Gaius said sadly, looking down at Merlin.
Grabbing Arthur's breakfast, Merlin made his way slowly to the prince's rooms. No one answered when he knocked so he cautiously pushed the door open and peered inside. The curtains were drawn, the fire nothing but embers. Clothing and other items littered the floor and a chair had been overturned, as if someone had taken their anger out on it.
Arthur was still asleep on the bed, sheets wrapped around his waist and legs, blankets rucked up and pushed to the foot of the bed. Stepping carefully, Merlin made it to the table without tripping himself up. Setting the platter down, he quickly righted the chair.
He was setting the last item on the table when Arthur spoke up behind him, "Why are you in my room?"
Merlin froze, his hand resting lightly on the last dish. Taking a breath, he turned around, keeping his eyes down. "I was informed by the king that I was to attend you this morning as your manservant." Merlin's heart stuttered as Arthur growled, but the prince didn't say anything.
Stalking around the bed, he snagged the chair and settled into it with a glare in Merlin's direction. Pulling his food closer, Arthur gestured with his fork and knife, "Since you are my manservant, I want you to clean my rooms, and do my laundry, polish my armor, and sharpen my sword and daggers. I will have a noon and evening meal brought to my room as well. You will report back to this room after your own noon meal to help me into my armor. You will have a bath ready for me after practice and you will help me with my armor then as well. Did you get that?" he asked with a sarcastic wave of his hand, not having once looked in Merlin's direction.
"I…yes," Merlin mumbled.
"Good, then get to it," Arthur said, continuing to eat. Shuffling away from the table, Merlin started to pick things up. A basket was shoved into a corner that held other dirty garments and he pulled it out into the room, throwing each item he found into it.
By the time he has picked up everything off the floor, he has found three daggers, four goblets, what appeared to be a broken wooden frame to something and a necklace. Arthur didn't speak through the whole meal and by the end; Merlin's basket is almost overflowing.
Merlin was putting the final touches on the made bed when Arthur stood, and went to rummage through his wardrobe. Not even using the changing screen, he changed right there, shucking the used garments onto the floor without a glance to Merlin. Tugging on his boots, he buckled his sword and dagger on before striding out, leaving Merlin to stare after him.
Sighing, he picked up the clothing and added it to the rest. Hefting the basket, he hauled it down to the laundress's domain that Gwen showed him earlier that week. The girl on duty smiled in sympathy as she took the basket from him. "Come back this evening and we should have most of it done," she told him and he nodded.
His next trip was to see Gwen. She'd know what a manservant was supposed to do when seeing to his master's armor and weapons. Gwen nodded after he explained his dilemma to her. Sitting him down on a stool, she gave him a quick rundown on everything from sharpening a sword to the correct order the armor was placed on a body. By the end, his head was buzzing.
She offered to come with him back to Arthur's room to show him what cleaning the rooms of the prince entitled. By the end of it, he was sweaty, dirty and his shoulders ached from lifting and moving things around to clean. "When was the last time someone cleaned his room?" Merlin asked while in-between a chest and the wall it butted up to. Finished sweeping the dirt from behind it, he shoved it back and sneezed as dust tickled his nose.
"The prince prefers his solitude and hasn't taken on any staff except what his father has forced. The rooms get cleaned by the chambermaids once a month, but that's about it," Gwen admitted as she handed him a clean rag to wipe his face off.
Sighing, Merlin just stretched, getting his back to loosen up a little. "How much more is there to do and when is lunch?" He hadn't done this much work in a while.
"Still a few more things to do and it's not even noon yet. Did the prince give you any more duties?" Merlin nodded and explained the bath that he had requested after training practice. "After we finish in here, I'll show you were the prince's tub is kept and where you can get the hot water." Sighing, he nodded and went to grab the broom to sweep up all the dirt that still littered the floor.
Arthur was already in his room when Merlin arrived with his lunch. The moment he walked in the door, Arthur turned his cold eyes on him and Merlin froze. "Why is my sword not sharpened yet?"
"I-I'm sorry, sire. I haven't gotten to it yet. I was cleaning your room all morning and was just about to start it," Merlin stammered.
Arthur snorted in agitation but looked away, allowing Merlin to move and breath properly once again. "Don't bother; I'll need it for training. I have to meet with my father afterwards, do it then. And Merlin," the prince stared at the servant again, "do not fall behind like this again."
Merlin nodded jerkily and set the prince's lunch down in front of him. "Is there anything else you need sire?" Merlin asked. He had at least seen to Arthur's armor and chain mail after they had finished the rooms. With Gwen to help, she had shown him what was good and bad, what needed to be hammered out and how to check for rust spots and weak straps. She had told him that the prince's armor was good for now, but would need to be taken to the blacksmith soon.
"No, go eat your own lunch. Be back to get me into my armor and do not forget my bath." Merlin bowed, but the prince didn't even glance his way. Scrambling out of the room, he headed for the kitchen, hoping there was some food left for him.
The prince was silent as he struggled through his first attempt at putting armor on someone. There were a few moments where he had gotten the straps mixed up and he almost dropped Arthur's vambrace before he finally got it on the prince's arm.
Arthur just grunted when Merlin stepped away, finished, grabbing his sword and striding from the room. Not know what else to do until the prince came back, he stopped off at the laundress's to grab what had been washed of the prince's clothing. Hauling the basket with him, he took it to Gaius's rooms. The old man was out, most likely seeing to someone, so Merlin sat on a bench and proceeded to fold Arthur's clothes.
He was nearly finished when Gaius came back. "Well, how's it going, my boy?" Gaius asked as he shut the door.
"The prince is a slob, a prat, and needs to learn to pick up after himself. Other than that, I'm still alive, so that's saying something." Merlin folded another shirt and set it on top of the pile of shirts.
"Merlin," Gaius admonished but just nodded. "You do seem to be holding up."
"Thanks to Gwen; I wouldn't have even been done with the prince's rooms without her help and she showed me how to do his armor. Who knew looking after one person could be so much work. I feel like there should be at least two of me, just to get all this done."
"A little hard work never hurt anyone," Gaius told him wisely as he went to his bench.
"If this is what it's gonna be like every day, it just might," Merlin grouched, folding the last pair of riding breeches before standing with a groan. "Has the practice finished?"
"It was still going when I walked by on my way from the lower town."
"Good, gives me time to get everything ready before he come back. Thanks Gaius," Merlin called, before lugging the basket from the room.
Arthur barely acknowledged him as he walked into his rooms. Merlin scrambled to get Arthur out of his armor, the bath of water steaming faintly with heat. Merlin's arms were tired, the muscles aching from first hauling the bath up two flights of stairs and then eight buckets of hot water all the way from the kitchen.
His back was aching and he was sweaty and dirty and there was still work to do. As he fumbled the last piece of armor off, Arthur stepped away, pulling clothing off and chucking them to the floor in a trail that led straight to the bath.
Merlin turned away to give the prince some privacy, straightening the armor on the table. As the prince set about relaxing and cleaning himself, Merlin sat at the table, going over the armor with a polishing rag.
"Merlin," Arthur grunted and Merlin hurried over with a towel for the prince, averting his eyes as he stood out of the cooled water. Stepping away, the prince walked to his wardrobe, pulling out clothing without even sparing a look at the servant. "I'm dinning with my father tonight, so you do not need to bring me my evening meal. I want my armor and weapons seen to by the time I return." Finished dressing, he slipped his boots on and left. Sighing, Merlin sat back down and got to work.
Gaius only raised an eyebrow when Merlin stumbled into the room, shoulders drooping and muscles aching. Not even stopping to eat, he trudged up the stairs to his little room and collapsed onto his bed. He was out before his head hit the pillow.
He rolled over at Gaius's knock on his door, groaning. It felt like he'd only been asleep for a few minutes. Sighing loudly, he rolled out of bed, grimacing as he realized he'd slept in his dirty clothing from yesterday.
Changing, he left his room and grabbing a quick breakfast of bread and an apple before jogging from the room to grab the prince's own breakfast. Arthur just grunted at his appearance and set him to straightening his room, seeing to the prince's horses, he had four of them, and the prince's hounds, a whole herd of them it seemed, as well as cleaning his boots.
Merlin came back to Gaius's room that evening covered in gods knew what, but it smelled. Grabbing a couple bites to eat, he changed and fell in to bed, only to be roused again the next morning.
This went on for days and at the end of the week, Merlin felt like he was running only on dregs. Arms trembling with strain as he carried Arthur's newly seen to armor, he stepped carefully, trying to keep from tripping and falling. He didn't think he could get back up if he did.
He was so focused on walking in a straight line that he didn't look where he was going and stepped right out into the street. Someone yelled, but it was too late as the speeding cart clipped his side, sending him to the ground in a clatter of armor.
Merlin could only lie there as his vision dimmed alarmingly. Someone was talking to him but he couldn't make out words. When they tried to move him, something in his side flared and a gasp escaped. Time seemed to pass disjointedly for the next thing he knew, Gaius was there, leaning over him.
"Gaius?" Merlin asked, confused.
"It's alright my boy, just lay still." Gentle fingers ran over his body, pressing ever so slightly and as they came to his side, something stabbed and he cried out again. "A couple bruised ribs maybe broken. Merlin, can you walk?"
"I think so," hands helped him sit up slowly and gently, helping him stand while he stood there swaying, his head feeling muzzy and the world spinning.
"Merlin, when was the last time you ate?" Gaius asked him, sounding more concerned.
"Mmm, this morning, grabbed something to eat before I left," Merlin mumbled, trying to take shallow breathes as he slowly walked, someone holding him up.
"And how long has it been since you ate more than just a few bites to eat? You've been skipping the noon meal as well, haven't you?"
"Umm, I can't remember, but there was too much to do to stop, and I was fine," Merlin tried to defend, but his thoughts were sluggish. A soft surface met his legs, and he was lowered down on to a cot.
He heard hushed, fast words and Merlin finally got enough control of himself to look up. Gaius was stood off to the side, Arthur next to him and Gaius seemed to be scolding the prince who looked somewhat sorry.
The image was too funny and he couldn't help the small chuckle, only to gasp as pain laced up his side. Sending one last look at the prince, Gaius hurried over to where Merlin was seated. "I need to see your side, Merlin. Can you get your arms up?" Merlin tried but only his right arm would go up all the way, the other only sending more pain through his side when he tried to raise it.
Eventually, they got his shirt off and Gaius settled onto a stool to look his side over. "Take a breath, as deep as you can?" Merlin did and his breath hitched at the pain. "Does it feel like something is poking or stabbing inside your chest?"
"No, just hurts," Merlin mumbled. "What happened?"
"You weren't looking where you were going and walked right in front of a cart. You're lucky you didn't get trampled or run over," Gaius chided him, though his touch was still gentle. "Nothing looks broken, but I need to bind your chest."
Merlin gasped as Gaius tightened the cloth wound around his chest, clenching his eyes shut and gritting his teeth against the pain. His head ached, but Gaius handed him a cup of something. Swallowing the bitter liquid made him gag, but it seemed to ease the aches all over, not just his head and Merlin ease back down Gaius tugged the blanket over him. He was out before he even had a chance to say thank you.
He was given two days to rest and recover. His first day back to work, Arthur still grunted, but his chores seemed to cut themselves in half. Whatever Gaius had said to the prince, it seemed to help Merlin out so he wasn't going to complain.
Present
He never did learn what it was Gaius had said to the prince. After that, life had seemed to even out. Arthur had still kept his distance from Merlin and for that he had been grateful. Before he'd realized it, three years had passed.
Running a hand through his hair, it's grown longer than he would prefer, but he doesn't feel like cutting it, he continues walking. Long cold hallways plan his course, the stone floors chipped from Mother Nature and his own feet walking across them. Outside, lightning flashes, and a rumble announces the storm that has descended on the world. The clouds open up and rain began to fall.
Of course, he couldn't have known what would happen next. No one except maybe Morgana could have seen what happened next, but then Morgana had long since fled Camelot and Uther's reach. Perhaps it was fate but it didn't matter what it was, because it still ended the same way.
Past
The pealing of the bell woke Merlin, the alarm bell. He was up and had his boots on before he was even fully awake. Gaius was up as well, talking to a guard. Gaius looked up as Merlin stumbled down the short flight of stairs. "Stay here, I'll be back soon," he said and quickly grabbed his things leaving at a fast walk behind the guard.
Merlin sat and waited for Gaius to get back, fidgeting. An hour later, he was back, face pale and his body sluggish. "What happened?" Merlin asked, guiding Gaius to his chair by the fire. He quickly grabbed a cup and filled it with clean water from a nearby bucket, pressing it into Gaius's hands.
"The king is dead," he said softly.
"What? What happened?" Merlin asked, pulling up a stool.
"An assassin got in. By the time I reached his rooms, it was too late to do more but make him comfortable."
"But I thought vampires could heal themselves?" Merlin asked.
"They can if the wound isn't too severe. On a human, the wound would have killed them within minutes, but it was still a fatal blow to the king." Gaius sighed and drank from his cup.
Neither slept that night.
Arthur was crowned king two days later after Uther's funeral. For the next week, he went into mourning for his father. Merlin tried the door every morning and each time, it was locked from the inside and he didn't have the key.
Gwen just gave him a knowing look as she herself sent worried glances towards the newly crowned king's door. It wasn't safe for vampires to fast so long nor was it safe for any human either. If the vampire lost control, who knew what damage the monster inside would cause before they could get control of themself.
Still, every morning, Merlin arrived on time as usual with Arthur's breakfast, despite the fact that he knew it was dangerous to be near the king when he was at his most unguarded. These thoughts weren't in Merlin's mind when on the seventh day of Arthur's retreat from the world, the door was unlocked. He opened the door quickly; only wanting to make sure Arthur was all right. He'd grown fond of the dark, brooding prince over the last few years.
He was halfway across the room when he heard the door shut behind him with a snap. A soft growl rent the heavy silence of the king's bedchambers. Merlin froze, the hairs on the back of his neck standing on end. Gulping, he continued on as if nothing had happened, setting the heavy platter on the table.
"I've brought your breakfast, sire," Merlin said, turning. He let out a small sound of fright, Arthur right behind him, normally blue eyes, gleaming red in the dim light. He held perfectly still as the king leand forward.
A shiver ran through him as Arthur ran his nose along the side of his neck, inhaling slowly and deeply. "I never realized how…nice you smell, Merlin," Arthur said softly, voice a rumble in his chest. Merlin's hands clenched at the table behind him.
Merlin darted to the side, starting to panic and babbling, "Everyone's been worried about you, sire. Gaius has been pouncing on me asking after you every evening…" Merlin trailed off as he realized his choice of word in that sentence.
"In fact, I'll go tell him that you're just fine. If you'll excuse me, sire," Merlin said, waving his hands around jerkily. He was just reaching for the handle on the door when a hand slammed against the wood, making him jump.
"Stay," Arthur murmured into his ear and Merlin shivered again.
"I really should be going," he was babbling even worse now. His whole body trembling as Arthur ran cool lips up and down his throat, his pulse beating fast in his neck, like a humming bird's.
He felt more than heard Arthur chuckle against his back where he was pressed up against him. He felt his lips open and Merlin panicked, jerking out of Arthur's loose hold. Shoving Arthur away, he ran for the servant's stairwell.
He barely made two steps when Arthur was on him again, arms like steel bands wrapping around his shoulders and waist. Merlin fought, trying to wiggle loose. The hand around his waist shifted, reaching up to grasp a handful full of hair and yanked sideways, exposing his throat.
Arthur bit down.
Merlin screamed.
Pain seemed to shoot from the point in his neck down to his toes and back up into his head, ricocheting through his body, doubling and tripling until all he could feel was the pain. He arched, trying to get away from Arthur, but the king's grip was like stone, unyielding.
He could feel it, the steady rush of his blood being pulled from his body. Magic ran through his veins like blood and as it was slowly sapped from him, he could feel himself fading, his fight to escape dying. Tears ran down his face as waves of pain crested over him and time seemed to freeze as it went on and on until it felt like there was nothing left.
He was going to die.
He was barely aware of his surrounding when Arthur pulled off with a wrench that had his neck screaming in agony as flesh was ripped by fangs. He couldn't hold himself up without Arthur's grip and the floor rushed up to meet him.
There was yelling and hands on him again but he couldn't hear anything over the frantic drumming in his ears, his heart straining to keep him alive.
He must have faded off sometime later because the next thing he saw was Arthur's stricken face, blood dripping down his chin, Gaius next to him. Arthur's eyes were glowing, the color of magic. Arthur turned to look at him, knowledge of what Merlin was clear in his eyes. Merlin blacked out.
He woke on and off, in a haze of grey and black and gold. The world faded in and out and for a while, he felt like he was swaying, but he couldn't open his eyes to see. Eventually, the darkness won over and he sank deeper and the world faded away completely.
Present
He had woken up here. It had been two weeks before he could do anything besides lie in bed and have Gaius fuss over him. Once he had been well enough to take care of himself though, Gaius had been forced to leave.
In a gilded cage made of stone and mortar and magic. A place to hide Merlin away until the king wished to call on him, on display for no one but him. And yet this seemed fitting that his life ended in this place. For a while there, Merlin had thought he and Arthur had had something more, something beyond master and servant.
He had been wrong and now his dreams and their budding friendship would rot just like the castle was rotting around him. Whatever they had had was gone, and now all that was left was for the castle to fall down around him.
It had taken Merlin less than an hour to realize where exactly he was.
He had wept that night after realizing it. It had taken a week to realize that he was totally alone here.
Magic took care of everything, leaving him nothing to do but entertain himself. And every couple of months, Arthur would appear, riding across the only access to civilization. His visits were the only way Merlin could really tell the passage of time, despite having started a journal to mark the passing days.
Merlin stood at the crumbling window again, staring out across the barren, windswept landscape. As if his thoughts had summoned him, a man rides slowly over the bridge. His hair is golden, even in the dim light and his cloak is a crimson flag snapping in the breeze.
Merlin doesn't move from his spot as he waits. He doesn't have to wait long. Arthur appears at the end of the hall, nearly unchanged from that fateful day. Merlin stares at this man who has taken his world from him and placed him in this castle. Who has taken his existence and stopped it, a frozen life in a frozen landscape, a timeless place where nothing changes except the castle falling apart around him. He's stuck in time, forever to remain.
Something inside him dies a little more as he comes to accept this.
"Hello, Merlin," Arthur says softly, and his eyes flash crimson and gold.
End