When I was 14, I fell in love with Nishimuraya Keiji.
I fell in love with his silent beauty, his intelligence, his mystery,the way his every action commanded excellence, his soldier-like posture. I wanted Nishimuraya-san as the soldier of my heart. I wanted to see more than the collected, armor casing. I wanted to be the one to rip open the shell, and see his true emotions. But I had no idea what would come about if I tried.
I looked over to where Nishimuraya-sempai sat. he rested his head on his hand, and puzzled over what Nishimuraya-sempai could possibly be thinking, as he read some unknown doctument. The people around him walked and talked and are their life away, but Nishimuraya was like an ever going circle, beautiful in purity, everlasting knowledge, never ending.
I gaze at him like this every lunch, thinking what it would be to sit over there with him, and hear his thoughts. But I sit alone. lost in the sea of nameless, faceless people. I wonder if I am nameless and faceless to him? Do I mean anything? Does he notice when come to science club, even though I don't like science, just to be near him?
No. I shouldn't get my hopes up. Its not like anything will ever happen anyway. I'm just a 8th grade nobody. People pick on me because of who I like (i.e. guys) and how i look. I'm skinny, pale, and i have a scar on my lip that makes me talk weird. Why would he like me, let alone notice me?