A/N: This fic is very special to me. This was inspired by an NBA player coming out earlier this week.
This is an issue that I'm passionate about, so I decided to write a story about it.
I haven't been inspired to write anything lately, so I'm glad that I was able to write this.
I enjoyed writing this and I hope that you will enjoy it too!
You Mean The World To Me
John is lighting the last few candles for the romantic dinner that he has set up for him and Seth. Seth's favorite food is pasta, so John ordered Italian food for them to eat. John is filling the glasses with wine when Seth comes into the room. Seth is pleasantly surprised at the sweet gesture from his boyfriend. Seth puts down his bags before he walks over to John and kisses him.
"Is there a special occasion that I'm unaware of?" Seth wonders.
"No. I know that you wish we could go out to eat, so I wanted to create a nice night in," John explains.
"It's great. Thank you," Seth replies as he sits down at the table.
"You're welcome," John comments.
They eat in mostly silence. They're both tired and sore from their match earlier. Seth is always being tossed around in his matches and John took one hard spear from Roman. When Seth is done eating, John lets him know that there's Tiramisu in the refrigerator. Seth's eyes light up in happiness and John smiles in delight at his boyfriend.
"I'm definitely putting out tonight," Seth jokes.
"Don't you always? You can't resist me," John counters.
"This is true," Seth agrees as he tears into the Tiramisu.
"When you're done making love to your dessert, meet me in the bathroom," John instructs him.
Seth notices that the bathroom is decorated with candles and rose petals. John asks Seth to check the water to make sure that it's not too hot. The temperature is perfect and Seth can't wait to get in and feel the warm water on his aching body. John helps Seth strip and get in the tub. The tub isn't big enough for both of them, but Seth doesn't care. He just wants to be close to John.
"I really don't think that I can fit," John points out.
"Just sit behind me. I'll get in between your legs," Seth suggests.
"Ok," John gives in.
John gets behind Seth and it's still a tight fit. John grabs the shampoo and pours a little bit in his hands while Seth washes himself. John loves how long and silky that Seth's hair is. He makes sure to massage his scalp as he rubs the shampoo in. Seth moans at the feeling of John's big hands caressing his scalp.
"You have no idea how much I love your hands," Seth tells him.
"I think I can guess from the sounds that you're making," John teases.
"I love you," Seth expresses.
"I love you too," John returns the sentiment.
"I wish people could hear you say that to me," Seth remarks.
John sighs. "Look, we're having a good night. Don't ruin it."
"It's so hard for me to act like we're just friends in public. I want to let everyone know that you're mine," Seth explains.
"You don't think that I feel the same?" John questions.
"No, because you're still in the closet. If you love me as much as you say you do, you wouldn't treat me like I'm your dirty little secret. I'm tired of having to sneak around in order to be with you. It's not fair to me," Seth argues.
"It's not as simple as you make it sound," John retorts.
John and Seth seem to have this same argument almost every time that they see each other. Seth tells John reasons why he should come out and John comes up with excuses about why it's not a good idea. Seth just doesn't have the energy to keep fighting about it. He washes the shampoo out of his hair before he gets out of the tub.
"I'm going to stay with Dean and Roman for the night," Seth announces.
"Don't go―"
Seth cuts him off. "If I stay here, I'll probably end up saying something that I'll regret."
Seth leaves the bathroom and he puts on a nondescript t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. He grabs his bag and his phone before he walks toward Roman and Dean's room. Seth turns off his phone because he knows that John is going to try to talk to him. He knocks softly on the door and Roman answers. Roman frowns when he notices Seth's sad expression.
"What's wrong?" Roman asks after he lets Seth in the room.
"What do you think?" Seth retorts.
"Another argument with John?" Roman guesses.
"Yeah," Seth answers.
"That's all that you've been doing lately. Let me guess, he's still too chicken shit to come out?" Dean assumes.
"Pretty much," Seth says.
"You know, we can always force him out of the closet," Dean points out.
"No. I want him to do it willingly," Seth lets him know.
"I understand your frustration, but you knew that he wasn't out when you started dating him," Roman mentions.
"I thought that I could handle it. Sneaking around was actually kind of fun at first, it was exciting. Now, it just makes me feel . . . like he's ashamed of me or something," Seth reveals.
"So what are you going to do? What if he never comes out?" Dean questions.
Seth shakes his head. "I don't know."
"You should get some sleep," Roman encourages.
"I might as well. I won't get anything figured out tonight," Seth states.
Seth wakes up earlier than he planned. He knows that John is already up and he wants to talk to him. He grabs his belongings and he quietly exits Dean and Roman's room. Seth forgot the key to John's room, so he has to knock on the door. John silently steps aside and lets Seth into his room. John's plane leaves in a few hours so he's already dressed and his things are packed.
"Can we talk?" Seth asks.
"Sure," John replies.
"I shouldn't have stormed out last night. I'm sorry," Seth apologizes.
"There's nothing to be sorry for. You were pissed and you needed some space," John understands.
Seth sighs. "I'm just tired of us having the same argument, John. I'm at my wit's end."
"I'm sick of always fighting with you too. I wish that you would just drop the subject of me coming out," John tells him.
"I can't. I feel like I'm not important to you. If I was, then you would tell people about our love. Are you ashamed of me? Are you ashamed of being gay?" Seth wants to know.
"Of course I'm not ashamed of you. I'm also very comfortable with my sexuality. I will be the first to admit that the world is more tolerant of homosexuals. It's a good thing, but you know that there are still way too many people with homophobic views. My career is at stake, Seth. I'm the face of WWE, there could be a lot of negative repercussions if I come out," John states.
"So that's what this is about? Your career? Plenty of gay men have come out and still been successful. You have some of the most loyal fans and I really don't think that they would turn their back on you just because you're gay," Seth counters.
"A lot of my fans are children. I'm not sure if Vince would like it if his most kid friendly superstar was openly gay," John argues.
"Ok, so maybe you won't have your picture on any more Fruity Pebbles boxes. The keyword is maybe. You don't know what will happen if you don't take the chance," Seth remarks.
"You know how much that my job means to me, Seth. I don't think that it's worth it―"
Seth cuts him off. "You mean, you don't think that I'm worth it."
"That's not what I meant!" John exclaims.
"I get it. Your precious career is all that you care about. I can't compete with that. That's the number one thing in your life. If I continue this relationship with you, I'll always be a distant number two," Seth concludes with tears in his eyes.
John wipes Seth's tears. "I love you, Seth. I've never loved anyone with my whole mind, body, and soul before. Choosing not to come out has nothing to do with how much I love you. I really wish that you understood that."
"I wish that you understood my viewpoint too. I just want to be with you completely. Even when we're alone, sometimes I feel like you're not giving yourself to me fully. I want to hold your hand while walking down the street. I want to kiss you in public. I want to eat dinner with you at an actual restaurant. I want you to punch guys that hit on me. I want to share every moment with you that normal couples get to experience. I deserve to have all of these things. If you're not willing to give me a whole relationship, then I don't know if I can stay with you," Seth declares.
"Are you breaking up with me?" John wants to know.
"Yes, because you won't give me what I desire," Seth tells him firmly.
"I'm sorry that my love isn't enough for you," John apologizes.
Seth kisses him. "I'm sorry too. You're a good man, John. I hope you find happiness."
"I hope you find happiness too. You're so amazing. You're going to make some guy extremely happy," John lets him know before Seth walks away.
2 Weeks Later
"He's so . . . broken," Cody whispers.
"I know. I don't think there's anything that I can do to fix him though," Randy whispers back.
"John is normally the happiest guy that I know. His smile and laugh is so infectious. It's not right that he's so sad," Cody says.
"I'm his best friend and I just feel so helpless right now," Randy groans.
"It's not your fault . . . " Cody trails off when he sees John walking toward him.
"You got quiet. You must have been talking about me," John surmises.
"Only because we're worried about you. I've known you for over 10 years and I've never seen you mope before," Randy explains.
"I just want him back. I miss everything about him. Even the annoying stuff like how he plays his music so loudly," John reminisces.
"I wish there was something that I could do," Cody replies with a pout.
"Wait a minute. There might be a way that I can get him back," John mentions.
John takes out his phone and he sends out a tweet:
Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.
- Eddie Rickenbacker
He sends out another one a few minutes later:
I'm going to be courageous today. Press conference at 2:00 p.m. PST.
John looks at himself in the mirror and he straightens his tie for the tenth time. He grabs a bottle of water and he prepares himself to go face a room full of reporters and all of his fans that will be watching the press conference from home. He takes a deep breath and he smiles and waves at the camera before he starts talking.
"My phone has been blowing up. My inbox is full and I'm pretty sure that my Twitter has exploded. Everyone wants to know what I'm going to reveal. A lot of people think that I'm going to retire. As much as some people would like that, that's not why I'm here. I'm here because it's time for me to face my fears. My name is John Cena, I'm 36 years old and I'm a professional wrestler. Of course, you already know that. What you don't know is that I am gay," John confesses.
The whole room grows deathly silent for a moment. John thinks about heading toward the exit and leaving. His palms are sweaty and his heart is beating faster than it ever has. He might faint and he feels extremely anxious. All of the reporters start talking at once, so now the room is extremely loud. John takes a sip of water and waits until everyone calms down. He decides to take a question from a wrestling website first.
"First, I just want to say that you are incredibly brave and a true inspiration. I want to know why did you choose to come out now?" The reporter questions.
John takes a deep breath. "I'm currently suffering extreme heartbreak. I lost the man that I'm in love with because I refused to tell the world about my sexual orientation. My personal view is that my sexuality is private and irrelevant. The fact that I'm attracted to men doesn't change my personality. I know that not everyone shares my opinion though. I was afraid that coming out might jeopardize my career. My career means absolutely everything to me.
I always thought that I'd have nothing without my job. I now realize that I have nothing without him. So, Seth Rollins if you're watching, I want you to know that you're the best thing to ever happen to me. I love you so much and if you're open to it, I would like to take you out on an actual date. Some place nice. Somewhere out in the open. I want to hold your hand while walking down the street and I want to kiss you in a public place. I hope that you still want this too."
John is relieved when the press conference is over. His emotions are all over the place, but he mostly feels . . . free. He checks his phone and he frowns when he doesn't see any kind of message from Seth. John gets nervous when he sees that he has a voicemail from Vince. He checks it and Vince wants to meet with him at the arena to talk as soon as possible.
Seth needs to speak to John. Seth gets to the venue a few hours before he normally does because he suspects that's where John will be. He finds his dressing room and he knocks slowly. Seth is surprised when Randy opens the door. He walks inside and he sees most of the roster is also in John's locker room. Seth doesn't see John and he wonders where he is.
"John's in a meeting with Vince. We're all here because despite what happens to him, we want to show John that we support him," Cody tells Seth.
Seth smiles. "He'll really appreciate this."
"He's been talking to Vince for a long time. I'm starting to get worried," Cody comments.
Randy kisses Cody on the temple. "Relax, Codes. Everything will be fine."
"Wait. Both of you are gay too?" Wade asks.
"I'm bi," Randy clarifies.
"Wow. I always thought that you guys were extremely close. I just never knew that you were together," Wade replies.
"We don't go to great lengths to hide our relationship, but we don't necessarily flaunt it either," Randy explains.
It feels like a lifetime before John enters his dressing room. Cody practically jumps into his arms to hug him. John's heart warms when he sees all of the smiling faces of his co-workers looking at him. John is so grateful for all of their love and support. He takes his hat off before he addresses everyone.
"Well, Vince was pretty damn pissed off," John lets them know.
"Did he fire you? Do I have to brogue kick some sense into him?" Sheamus wonders.
"He's not mad that I'm gay, he's just mad that I didn't tell him directly. He said that I almost gave him a heart attack by announcing it like I did," John adds.
"So what happens now?" Punk wants to know.
"He wants to see how the WWE Universe reacts to me now. He won't fire me, but if it turns out that I'm bad for business, well then I won't be the face of the company anymore," John divulges.
"As much as I hate to admit this, you're always good for business. I don't think that you'll be losing your top spot anytime soon," Dolph assures him.
"Thanks. I'm really glad that all of you are standing behind me. It means so much to me. I love you guys," John tells them.
Everyone needs to get ready for the show, so they hug John as they leave. Of course, Seth, Randy, and Cody stay behind. John always feels that he has to be strong and that he can't show any weakness. Randy knows that John is more vulnerable than he will ever admit to being. Randy wraps his arms around his best friend and pulls him into a tight hug.
"I'm so fucking proud of you, Johnny. You've been carrying around this burden for years and you're finally free of it. I'm so happy for you," Randy states.
Cody kisses John on the cheek. "I've always looked up to you. You're the most kind and decent person that I have the honor of knowing. I'm glad that you're happy now too. I just think it sucks that you had to reveal such a private thing in order to find joy."
"We're going to leave you guys alone now," Randy says before he and Cody make their exit.
"There's this Italian restaurant by the lake and I was wondering if you want to go―"
Seth cuts him off with a passionate kiss. "I'll go absolutely anywhere with you. I'll follow you to the end of the earth, John. I still can't believe you told the world that you love me. I can't even put into words how much that means to me."
"No, I told the world that I'm crazy, madly in love with you," John corrects with a smile.
"The last thing that I want to do right now is leave, but I really need to prepare for my match," Seth says.
"I know. I'll see you here when you're done," John responds.
John is high off of adrenaline because the show went much better than he expected. There were a lot of supportive signs and he even got a standing ovation! John and Seth make a quick stop to their hotel room after the show. They shower quickly and change their clothes. The restaurant with a lakeview is within walking distance, so John interlaces his fingers with Seth's as they walk down the street. Seth has never felt so loved in his life.
"There's something I need to get off of my chest," Seth announce as he sits on a bench outside of the restaurant.
"Ok," John says cautiously.
"I was so close to calling you last week. I wanted to apologize and tell you that you didn't have to come out of the closet," Seth reveals.
"What?" John questions with an incredulous tone.
Seth grabs John's hand. "I thought about all of the things that you said and I realized that you were right. Straight people don't have to announce that they're straight. They don't have to wonder if they're going to lose the career that they've worked so damn hard for because of who they love. It wasn't fair of me to put you in a position where you had to choose between your job and me. I was being really selfish. While we were broken up, I realized that having you in my life in a limited way was better than not being with you at all. I was just too stubborn to pick up my phone and tell you that."
"I needed to come out of the closet though, Seth. Randy was right when he said that I'm finally free now. I could never live the life that I truly wanted to live because I was so paranoid. There were so many times when I wanted to tell everyone that I was gay so that I could just do what the hell I wanted to do. I always hid behind my excuses and never found the courage to come out. You are the reason that I found the strength to do it. I thank you for that," John replies.
It's a warm and breezy night, so John asks for one of the tables outside by the lake. There are a few other couples in the area, but John and Seth aren't paying attention to them. Their food comes quickly and they enjoy their meal in contented silence. John pays the bill and then they head back to their hotel room.
"Today has been the most amazing day of my life. I don't want it to end," Seth mentions.
"It's not over yet," John tells him.
John brings Seth's body close to his before he leans down to kiss him sensually. There's always passion when they kiss, but it's much stronger this time. John unbuttons Seth's shirt as he continues to explore his mouth. John runs one hand down Seth's exposed chest. Seth pulls away from the kiss so that he can remove John's top. They quickly take off each other's pants and boxers. John lays Seth down on the bed and just admires his beauty. He climbs on top of Seth and laces kisses down his neck and chest.
"I guess it's a good thing I wrestle with my chest covered up because you're going to leave marks," Seth half-jokes.
"I'm just marking my territory," John possessively responds.
John's tongue continues to travel down Seth's body, causing goose bumps to form. John lightly bites the inside Seth's thighs and Seth moans in both pleasure and pain. Seth is hard and aching, but John ignores his cock for now. Instead, he places kisses all the way down to Seth's feet. John wants to make love to Seth's whole body. Seth is dripping pre-cum and John laps it up eagerly. Seth closes his eyes in ecstasy as he feels John slowly lick the underside of his cock.
"Fuck," Seth groans appreciatively.
John loves how responsive that Seth always is. John continues worshipping Seth's dick with his mouth. He makes sure to run his tongue over every vein and sensitive spot. When Seth's cock is halfway down John's throat, Seth grabs John by the back of his head and forces him to take even more. John takes the hint and relaxes his throat to accommodate for the rest of Seth's length. Seth and John both grunt when Seth's dick hits the back of John's throat.
"I love your fucking mouth," Seth praises.
John expertly bobs his head up and down Seth's cock for a while. John massages his balls at the same time and he can feel that Seth is going to cum soon. John knows exactly how to push his lover over the edge. He slips one of his fingers into Seth's mouth to get it wet. His finger slides right into Seth's hole because he's so relaxed. John searches for his prostate and Seth whimpers when he finds it.
"I'm gonna cum!" Seth announces.
John normally pulls away and finishes Seth off with his hand. He wants to enjoy all of Seth tonight, so he continues sucking him off. Seth's eyes roll into the back of his head and his body shivers as he shoots into John's mouth. John swallows all of Seth's cum and he's surprised at how much that he enjoys it. John licks his lips at the taste of his boyfriend.
"Holy shit! That was so good baby," Seth compliments.
"It's only going to get better," John promises.
John spreads his boyfriend's thighs before he gets in between them. Seth never needs a lot of prep, so he's ready to go. John still takes his time entering him though. Seth loves the feeling of fullness that he gets from John's long, thick cock being inside him. Seth wraps his arms around John's neck and his legs around his back. Every part of their bodies are touching and they relish in the sensation.
"Your skin feels so damn amazing against mine," Seth remarks.
Seth takes a deep breath after John makes his first thrust. There's always slight pain at first, but it always turns into mind numbing pleasure. John begins an easy, leisurely pace because like Seth, he doesn't want their time together to end. Seth is always so warm and perfectly tight. John has never felt such ecstasy as he does when he's with Seth. John's gazes down at Seth and he loves the look of bliss that's on his face.
"You're so beautiful," John expresses.
Seth has a response on the tip of his tongue, but he lets out a moan instead when John speeds up his strokes. Seth digs his nails into John's back when John teasingly grazes his prostate. Seth lets out a groan of frustration when John pulls out completely. Before Seth can ask what's going on, he feels John turn him over so that he's on his stomach. John re-enters him and the new position stimulates Seth in a completely new way.
"Fuck! You're so deep," Seth says in awe.
John presses his body against Seth's, so that Seth is laying completely flat on his stomach. John starts thrusting again and Seth loves how different that it feels from this angle. Seth's cock is rubbing against the soft sheets and it's bringing him even more pleasure. John kisses the back of Seth's sweaty neck and then he brings his mouth to his ear.
"Are you close, baby?"John whispers huskily.
"Yes! Please, don't stop!" Seth begs desperately.
John's orgasm isn't too far away either, so he starts pounding Seth's ass, making sure to hit his prostate continuously. Seth is experiencing so much pleasure that he's incapable of making any coherent sounds. His hands are gripping the sheets almost violently and it's only a matter of minutes before Seth explodes. John is panting and whispering in his ear. Seth loves how John's east coast accent comes out during sex.
"I want you to cum now," John demands.
Seth lets go almost immediately after John tells him to. He covers his abs and the sheets with pearly white ribbons of cum after he has his second release of the night. Seth constricts his inner muscles because he wants John to blow his load inside him soon. John curses loudly and gently bites Seth's neck as he fills Seth with spurt after spurt of cum. John rolls over and the only sounds in the room are their shallow breaths.
"Damn, Johnny. That was . . . " Seth trails off.
"The best sex of your life?" John finishes.
"Oh, definitely," Seth replies with a smirk.
"Do you want to move in with me?" John offers.
Seth is caught off guard. "What?"
"We both live in Tampa and you're always at my house anyway. I think it makes sense," John explains.
"I would love that," Seth answers.
John wraps his arms around Seth's waist. "Those 2 weeks without you were hell for me. I never want to go through that again. Not that I have much free time, but I want to spend all of it with you. I want to wake up next to you and fall asleep beside you. You really do mean the world to me, Seth. I love you so much."
"I feel the same way about you, John. You're everything to me."
1 Week Later
John and Seth are spending one of their rare days off unpacking Seth's things and redecorating John's house. Randy and Cody are helping out so that they can finish quicker. They're exhausted and hungry by the time that they're done. John orders Chinese food for all of them and they sit together on the floor in the master bedroom to eat.
"Randy, are you going to tell them the news?" Cody wonders.
"What news?" John wants to know.
"I noticed that there's a nice house down the street for sale. So, I decided to buy it," Randy shares.
"You mean we decided to buy it," Cody corrects him.
"That's great!" John tells them.
"It will be nice having you guys close," Seth adds.
"Wait. Speaking of news . . . is that a ring that I see on Seth's finger?" Cody asks excitedly.
John laughs. "Calm down, Codes. It is a ring, but it's not what you think. We're not engaged. It's just a ring signifying our love and commitment to each other."
"Shouldn't you have one, too?" Randy mentions.
"I do. I needed to get mine custom made, so it's not ready yet," John explains.
Cody looks confused. "Um . . . it still sounds like it's an engagement ring."
"Not yet. But someday," Seth assures him.
John kisses him passionately. "Probably sooner than later."
A/N: I can't wait to hear what you all have to say.
I don't normally put my personal views into stories, but I did a little bit with this one.
I just want to clarify a few things: I 100% support anyone who decides to share their sexuality. I definitely think it's a brave thing to do.
What I don't support is the view that people are obligated to express their sexual orientation.
I believe that people (gay or straight) have the right to live how they choose and that they don't have to broadcast something as personal as sexual orientation.
And I'm done with my spiel now!