All mistakes are mine. Thank you, Cheapen for the beta. I owe you big time!


I'm Not Doing This For You. I'm Doing It For Myself.

The thing about Puck is that he fights very hard to maintain his badass rep so that people wouldn't treat him like pussy (or like Finn).But the truth is underneath his badass 'tude lies a heart full of protectiveness ("You're just like Stitch, when he's around Lilo." Sarah said to him one night. He's never gonna let Sarah drags him to watch Disney movie again) for those that he cares about. Most people don't know about the softer side of Puck (he calls it a fucking condition because fuck, a badass is not supposed to care for shit) except for Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry and occasionally Quinn Fabray.

The first time Puck shows any remote sign of protectiveness towards Finn Hudson was when they were 11 years old. By that time his dad had left him and he was old enough to know that he was never coming back despite what his mom said to him every night. He watched too many movies to fully comprehend that people always leave you. He was angry all the time. All the time. He was angry with his dad, angry with his mom, angry with the kids in school when they talked about his broken family. Angry at himself for letting their snarky comments get to him but fuck it he can't control himself when those kids said that his mom was probably working as a hooker to support the family. So yeah, he was a human time bomb walking around the school waiting for people to look at him funny. And when they did, his fists will be swinging.

Everyone avoided him. Everyone except Finn.

Finn is everything that Puck wasn't. People described him as cool and calm and collected (Puck said that he's pretty slow to process anything, and that's why he has that stupid "I'm confused, but I'm still adorable" face on) but Puck secretly was glad that he has Finn as his friend because sometimes when he's ready to punch someone's face, Finn would calm him down and tell him to control himself or else he would be expelled.

(Helps that Finn is twice his size and has that death grip perfected.)

So yeah, they were BFF. They hung out all the time. They did stupid things together. Then Finn showed up to his house one night about to fucking cry on his doorstep, (dude was such a girl from the very beginning) and blubbered that he might need to move away to a smaller town 'cause his mom can't afford their mortgage.

Puck's insides froze 'cause fuck, he can't take another person leaving him. His best friend's going to leave him.

(Yeah, Finn might act like a girl sometimes but Puck still loves him. Shut up!)

When he told Finn that he would help him get the money to pay the mortgage, Finn told him that they're not gonna rob the bank 'cause he's afraid of guns. Puck just rolled his eyes and called him stupid while digging something from the loose board inside his room.

He had about $79 in the jar. All the money that he'd save up from doing odd jobs during the summer. He knew they needed more. So he told Finn to go back home and he'd think of something.

That night, after he lied to his mom about finishing his science project, he went to the garage and went through his dad's stuff that he thought he could sell.

(Sometimes, years later, he often wonders why it bothered him so much that Finn was moving to another place. Yeah, sure, he loves Finn like a brother but that night he felt all clammed up and hard to breathe when he heard those words. Moving away. He'd told Rachel about it, and she'd just look at him all soft and say that maybe it was because he just didn't want anyone to leave him anymore.)

He pocketed about $120 selling his dad's old junk. He knew it still wasn't much but he put all the $199 in an envelope and presented it to Mrs. Hudson who got all teary eyed. ("I know it's not much but it's better than nothing, right?") Finn practically bawled and hugged him and Mrs. H told him to keep the money and he was confused because his mom chewed him out when she found out that he pawned his dad's guitar and sold his old records ("IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S COMING BACK TO GET 'EM, MA!") but Mrs. Hudson folded the envelope neatly and put it inside his jacket and made him peanut butter sandwich after that

When he got home, his mom was waiting for him on the steps and he felt so guilty for pawning the guitar (and for yelling at her. He swore to himself he would never ever do that again but it happened several times more over the years.) because he knew that his dad used to sing to his mom using that guitar.

(But fuck, he was trying to keep his best friend.)

He kinda went into shock mode for 5 seconds when his mom pulled him into a hug and told him that he's a good boy with a heart of gold and she's so proud of him.

Apparently as soon as he stepped out from the Hudson household, Mrs. Hudson called up his mom and told her everything. He felt all guilty because he'd done that so that he won't end up friendless because, yeah, he knows that people are a bit intimidated by him. The chance of finding a new best friend is slim to none. But he felt good, too, hearing his mom say that to him. It was one of the few times he'd felt like he was worth something since his dad had left them.

The next day at school, Finn came up to him and told him that his mom had found a second job and even though that means that she might not be at home all the time he's kinda glad that he doesn't have to move away.

And then Finn did the unthinkable.

Dude fucking hugged him, right there in the school hallway where everyone could see them.

He tried (very hard) to squirm away from Finn but dude's like an 11 year old in the body of a 16 year old and he's strong. So Puck ended up patting him awkwardly on his back and bid him goodbye and slowly walked away (walk not power walk) before Finn started to blubber (again) how much he loves Puck.

After school ended, Finn came with him to the pawn shop and he bought back his dad's guitar. He learned to play it that night (and continue to do so until he mastered it.).

Puck might be an asshole, but he's an asshole with heart (Quinn's words, not his) and maybe he did what he did for his own benefit but he's glad that all is right in Finn's world again.

And his, too. Sort of.