Group therapy or "The 'I got my butt kicked by Kurosaki Ichigo' sessions"

In which some of the titular characters greatest foes' reminisce about the bad old days, and try to come to terms with getting beat up by an adolescent ginger

A/N: 1 – I don't own bleach or anything of the sort. 2 – this is my first attempt at a published fic, so please review – sure there is a lot needs doing. 3 – suggestions are welcome, (I plan to include all Ichigos' 'manga cannon' foes, though if the first meeting or 2 go well, maybe others will appear – so idea's for all characters are good).

Introduction

Abarai Renji was a brave man – heck, he was damned near fearless. But standing behind his captain, who sat at his desk; the very picture of composure and slight disapproval, he was starting to have second thoughts. He really wasn't sure the captain would be receptive to his plan. The last time he had been this apprehensive was after the man happened to see him and Rukia sharing a friendly hug. Captain Kutchki had moved off without a word, the slight hiss of his retreating flash step saying it all to Renji's (suddenly extremely active) mind. The main thing it seemed to say didn't bear repeating; it involved Senbonsakara, and a complex knowledge of anatomy. Later Byakuya called him to the Captain's office. Renji had bid his confused friends a tearful farewell, leaving them entirely nonplussed, and strode in. As he tried to summon the nerve to talk in the present, he reminded himself that back then it hadn't been too bad:

"Do you harbor any romantic intentions towards my sister, Lieutenant?" Renji couldn't have known of course, but Byakuya was actually thinking 'he better not get his hands on any girl before I do damn him! Not when I finally can rest thoughts of my wife!'

"No, Captain... it was, we were... just happy to see one another after my last mission!"

"Lieutenant – I am sure your association with that… boy has caused you to become more relaxed towards personal contact, but here in soul society, I must remind you to pay due respect to nobles!'

Renji shuddered slightly; this was not going well – and was his captain still bitter about his fight with Ichigo?

"Yes sir"

"Very well, and if I see you making any intimate advance on her, the offending part of your body will be removed – do I make myself entirely clear on that point?"

"Yes sir"

Renji gulped at the full implication of that warning and Byakuya, noticing the sound, thought; 'hehe, that'll make him keep those hakema tightly fastened!'

"Good, in which case you are dismissed"

With a start Renji brought his mind back to the present – dwelling on previous difficult episodes in this office wasn't helping. Though it had reminded him of how he had come to his idea. It all came back to goddamned Ichigo – the punk kid who had started as his bitter enemy, but now called him a friend. He still couldn't get over that the kid had beaten him, after a week's formal training. Cocky punk was what he was. Fighting with him hadn't been too bad, but couldn't keep the insecurity at bay. He had recently begun to believe his captain thought a similar way, and wasn't too far off the mark. So he had conceived his plan. He knew a few guys who had been beaten up by the kid, and he figured it might be a good idea to get them all together and talk the whole thing over. But the prospect of suggesting to his captain that a nobleman and elite shinigami should require therapy filled him with no joy. He decided to take the plunge

"Captain, do you still think about your fight with Ichi-I mean Kurosaki Ichigo?"

Byakuya was amazed, and a little alarmed, wondering if one of his concerns had been transparent even to his brash lieutenant. Respect Renji for his Bravery and considerable prowess compared to the lieutenants, Byakuya did. Respect his grasp of subtlety and tact, Byakuya did – sort of. He was impressed Renji was still alive with them so low. So he elected to play dumb

"I don't know what you mean – that conflict is in the past, we have no animosity now"

Just as he congratulated himself on his masterfully detached manor, he realized his ink brush was crushed into the paper. Renji was shocked – this was unprecedented. But he resolved to continue

"I know I still do resent my defeat – it makes me frustrated, my kido practice is suffering"

Byakuya winced at the thought of what damage must have been caused in his division hq.

"And I know there are a few others in this position, so I… I.. arranged for a meeting… in our barracks and [his longest pause yet] . Please forgive me"

He bowed deeply at this point. Byakuya scowled openly

"There is no honour in attending a meeting of people who failed to complete a task assigned them!"

He was irritated – for his lieutenant to presume that he, the 6th squad captain, needed help of that kind, just because a kid had once defeated hi-he halted that line of thought abruptly as he realized that once again, his brush was being crushed. But Renji hadn't quite finished

"And captain, to conduct the meeting in a sociable and pleasant atmosphere I asked lieutenant Matsumoto to preside"

"I shall attend!"

There was finality in his tone, and a sudden jump in spiritual pressure that made Renji start. Concerned his 'healthy male interest' in Matsumoto might me noticed, Byakuya hastily added

"I clearly will have to maintain order with her present"

Renji sighed with relief – he knew his decision had been a wise one. He had relied on the 'healthy male interest' of several of the group in convincing them. Leaving the memo with the date and time, he left. Byakuya sat in thought for a long time. Maybe this would be useful. Maybe he could fit a mirrored ceiling or floor in his squad barracks before the first meeting.

Next time: First session!