Dance With Me
Santana scanned the dance floor looking for Brittany and stopped when she saw her dancing with another Cheerio. A wave of jealousy surged through her. She wished she would have come here as Brittany's date. This whole ploy with Karofsky was just a stupid stunt to help her become homecoming queen. As she watched the way Brittany's body moved, she suddenly couldn't remember the reasons why that was so important to her. Now here she was, attached to Karofsky making people think they were in love. She had hurt Brittany a few days before by her saying that the two of them were soulmates. Even as she said it, she couldn't help but look over at Brittany wishing she was saying that about the two of them. She knew that there was no denying Brittany as her soulmate. Brittany was who she was in love with. She dropped her hands from around Karofsky's neck and walked out quickly, knowing she was about to break at any moment. She briefly made eye contact with Brittany as she rushed past her and headed out of the gym. She stopped in the locker room and sat on the bench in front of her locker, hoping that a few minutes of quiet would help clear her head. As she sat down, she felt her guard coming down. Tears started streaming down her face and she knew it was most likely smearing all her make-up. But it didn't matter. She hadn't spoken to Brittany in several days since their fight had went down in the hallway and she didn't show up for Fondue for Two. Brittany had texted her asking her where she was multiple times that day, each one revealing how upset she was. But she didn't have the courage to do it. She didn't even answer her. Santana felt awful about it still. Most people believed she was a cold-hearted bitch, but she really wasn't. She was hurting, more than they ever would know. She loved Brittany, and it broke her heart to see her so upset because of how stupid she was acting. She looked up when she heard the door open. She was met with beautiful blue eyes staring back at her from the other side of the lockers.
"Can I sit with you?" she asked hesitantly. Santana hated that Brittany even felt the need to ask. She felt awful that she had made her feel so distant that she couldn't even approach her without asking. Santana nodded and Brittany came over and sat down on the seat next to her. She wiped a stray tear from Santana's cheek. Santana reached up and stopped her hand before it pulled away, holding it against her face for a moment. She didn't realize until then how much she missed their closeness. They hadn't been close like this in almost two weeks. Sure she had played boyfriend girlfriend with Karofsky, but no one made her feel like this. She thought she had lost her. Santana began crying harder at the thought of ever losing her.
Brittany moved herself closer and pulled Santana over so she could rest her head on her shoulder. "Shhh," Brittany said soothingly as she stroked her hair. Santana felt herself calming down as Brittany comforted her.
"Why are you being so sweet to me? I've been such a bitch to you the last two weeks," Santana said through the tears.
"Because I was a bitch to you too for picking Artie over you. And I know you're just confused which is why you are acting like a lunatic," Brittany replied. Santana chuckled.
"You think I'm a lunatic?" Santana replied as she lifted her head up and looked over at Brittany.
"Only when you get into crazy head bitch mode. Snix takes over." Brittany smiled softly as she brushed a piece of hair out of Santana's face. "I want my San back. I miss you so much my insides hurt."
"I want my Britt Britt back. My insides hurt too," Santana replied. She smiled back at her and looked down at their hands which were now intertwined. "Right here," she said as she put Brittany's hand over her heart.
"I make your boob hurt?" Brittany said with a smirk.
"No my heart," Santana laughed. Brittany smiled at her response.
"I know, I just wanted to make you laugh," Brittany replied. Santana loved that about her. She loved the way Brittany could say something silly just to make her laugh.
"You look really beautiful tonight," Brittany said softly. "In fact, I've been staring at you all night."
"You look amazing Britt. I was getting jealous watching you dancing with that other girl and those guys," Santana replied as she looked away from her. The music could still be heard from the gym and a slow song was playing softly. Brittany got up from where she was sitting. Santana had a confused look on her face as Brittany reached out for her hand. She hesitated a moment.
"It's just us here," Brittany reassured her. Santana reached out and took her hand as she helped her to her feet. Brittany pulled her in closer by her waist and whispered softly into Santana's ear as she began to sway to the music. "I saved the last one for you."
Santana smiled and laid her head against Brittany's shoulder as they danced. She and Brittany had danced with each other plenty of times before, but never like this. They would dance around during glee and in Brittany's room but slow dancing was something Santana had never had the guts to do with Brittany. It was too vulnerable, too intimate. It was too….suddenly she knew that it was only like that with someone you cared about. She didn't feel this way earlier when she was dancing with Karofsky. Somehow she knew that it would be like this with Brittany. And it was. It felt amazing to be dancing with her in the spot where she first laid eyes on her. As they continued dancing for what seemed like hours she felt herself melt into Brittany's arms leaving no space between them. Their bodies were moving in perfect harmony with each other. Santana placed a soft kiss on Brittany's neck and then rested her head back on her shoulder.
"I'm sorry that I hurt you," Santana whispered. Brittany pulled back a little so she could look at her.
"It's okay now. All better. Happy panda," Brittany replied with a smile and Santana chuckled. Santana's eyes locked into Brittany's. She wanted to kiss her so bad. She knew she needed to show Brittany that she was truly sorry. Maybe doing something brave like this would help. She broke the distance between them and placed a soft kiss on Brittany's lips and pulled away slowly. Brittany's smile grew wider.
"What?" Santana asked with a smirk.
"You've never done that…here," Brittany whispered hesitantly. Santana wasn't sure what she meant at first. Of course they had made out at school before. They'd had plenty of random sexy times in the locker room after everyone else was gone. Hell, they'd even slipped into the auditorium a few times.
"What do you mean Britt?" Santana asked.
"Given me your I love you kiss. You only do that when we are at our houses," Brittany replied. Santana was confused by what she was implying. There was no way Brittany could tell a difference between the way she kissed her when it was just about getting their mack on and when she kissed her with her whole heart in it. If she could, then that meant she had known how much she loved her for a while now. She hadn't just made out with her just for the feeling of it for a long time. She had been making love to her and her kisses had been nothing short of a statement for the way Brittany made her feel.
Santana looked down feeling embarrassed by how vulnerable she felt. If Brittany knew everything, why did she let her continue to deny her feelings? Santana guessed she probably believed her every time she said it was different when it was with a girl. She suddenly felt guilty for manipulating her like she had been. Brittany was sweet and wonderful and she had been using her for it. Another tear streamed down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away, hoping the feelings would go with it. Santana felt Brittany brush her fingers along her cheek and gesture her to look up at her.
"Have I been giving you my I love you kiss a lot lately?" Santana choked out afraid of what her answer would be.
"Yes, since cheer camp," Brittany replied. Santana smiled. "Two summers ago." It was strange that Brittany knew that. It made her feel completely naked in front of her, that she knew her that well. She felt her heart flitter and it made her wonder how much Brittany really knew about how she was acting. She wondered if she knew that for the past several years all the times she had been saying it was different with her wasn't because she was a girl. It was different because it was real. It was different because it was love and she loved Brittany. She could make out with her and sleep with her sober, not drunk like she usually was when she slept with guys. She wondered if Brittany knew that being with her felt a million times better than being with a guy. She wondered if Brittany felt like that too.
"Why didn't you ever say anything about it?" Santana asked.
"Because you told me you don't like talking about feelings. I didn't want to scare you away because I felt like every time I mentioned how I felt you would shut me out," Brittany replied clearly hurt by all the times Santana had shut her down when she wanted to be intimate about her feelings.
"It's just…I'm not very good…at this," Santana replied motioning to their current state of embrace.
"You're better at it than you think," Brittany said softly, "Sometimes you're better when you stop thinking so much." Santana knew exactly what she meant. It was like how she was feeling right now. Moments ago she had been lost in the moment and let her guard come down, but just as quickly she had felt herself starting to put her walls back up when she started to feel something foreign. She knew one thing for sure. She loved Brittany. She loved her more than anyone or anything in the world. She wanted to tell her exactly how she felt so she wouldn't leave her.
"I…I…." Santana tried to say it, but the words wouldn't cooperate. If she said it everything was going to change. The whole world was going to change if she admitted to herself she loved a girl. It shouldn't matter to her so much. She should just love whoever she wanted to love. But with loving Brittany, there came a world of torment, a world of change that she wasn't sure she was ready for yet. Santana was jolted from her thoughts by Brittany's voice.
"Santana, stop thinking so much," she whispered as she leaned down and kissed her softly. Santana pushed her lips harder against Brittany's and moved her tongue across her lips begging for entry. If she couldn't say it, she knew that she could show her how she felt. Santana sucked on Brittany's bottom lip for a moment and felt her body relax against her. She led them over to the bench in between the lockers and continued kissing her as she laid her down and straddled her. Brittany moaned beneath her as she trailed up her jaw and licked behind her ear. Brittany sat up with Santana still straddling her. The movement surprised Santana and she stopped kissing her. Their faces were inches apart and Santana entangled her fingers in the blonde hair. Brittany began sucking on Santana's pulse point and licked down her neck. Santana shuddered as she assaulted her neck with kisses. Brittany slid her hand slowly up Santana's thigh, and made her way up to her center. She moved her hand back and forth across the wet mound.
"Oh…Brittany," Santana moaned as Brittany increased the pressure and quickened her movements. Santana's breathing was fast and she groaned as Brittany slid her hand beneath the fabric and made contact with her folds. Her fingers drifted along the edges and Santana wanted to take her hand and force it inside of her.
"Brittany, please, stop teasing," Santana moaned. Brittany chuckled and placed one finger at her entrance and let it linger for a moment. Santana tried to buck her hips forward so her finger would go inside but Brittany anticipated her movements and Santana groaned with frustration. She knew her orgasm was always better when they played like this, but she was entirely too impatient for it today. She hadn't slept with Brittany in weeks and it was making her crazy. She felt the blonde's thumb rub across her clit and her stomach clenched as she squeezed her hands tighter. Brittany laid Santana back on the bench and moved her dress up enough so she was able to slide off her underwear. Santana gasped when Brittany slid herself further down and gently rubbed her tongue along her folds. She rubbed small circles with her tongue and then added the movement of her two fingers in and out of Santana.
"Brittany," was all Santana could manage to let out. The heat was building and she could feel herself about to break. "Faster." She said breathlessly. Brittany started moving in and out of her at a more rapid pace and applied more pressure with her tongue. Waves of pleasure rushed through Santana as the spasms rolled through her whole body. She moaned through each wave and Brittany slowly pulled out of her and lightened her kisses until Santana was still beneath her. She moved up her body and Santana was met with light kisses being placed on her lips and face.
"I love you Brittany," Santana said breathlessly.
Brittany pulled back and searched her eyes and smiled, "I knew all I had to do was get you to stop thinking."
Santana smiled and kissed her again. Brittany pulled back and looked at her for a moment. She moved her head close to Santana's ear and Santana could feel her warm breath against her neck.
"I love you too, and I'll always save the last dance for you," Brittany whispered. Santana smiled and knew in that moment that even though there was still so many complicated things in their relationship that somehow, she and Brittany would be together one day. Knowing that would have to be enough for now.